For Your Life To Change You Must Change!

We've all heard it so many times, whether it's coming from us or somebody we associate with; "I need a change in my life." But then nobody ever does anything about it, they just continue to complain!

Let me ask you this: What has your complaining gotten you so far; probably not much if anything. So instead of continuing to complain, why not start taking some positive action towards changing your situation?

It's a safe bet that if you continue to do the same things, you will continue to receive the same results. Some call this the definition of insanity; performing the same tasks over and over and expecting different results! It just doesn't happen that way!

Jim Rohn says that in order for things to change, you must change. "Your income can increase, but you must grow out to where it is, or it will quickly come back to where you are."

The best way to picture this is by grabbing a rubber band. Now, stretch it out as far as you can without breaking it. What happens when you let it go? It goes right back to where it was!

Now let's take this a step further: Stretch out the rubber band and before letting it go this time, insert a glass inside the rubber band's open area. What happens now? This time is only retracts as far as the glass lets it go!

See, you can stretch out the rubber band (your income) and make it larger, but unless you insert something in there to keep it that size (your personal growth), as soon as you let go it comes right back to its original size.

So how do you grow personally? You must grow personally through the consistent use of personal development tools and resources. Every single day you should be setting time aside first thing in the morning to work on yourself. Whatever it is that you do first thing in the morning is going to set your course for the rest of your day.

Personal Development and growth is not something that is going to occur overnight, so don't expect that. Actually, others will notice changes in you before you even know that they have occurred. They will notice changes in your attitude, how you handle different situations, etc. And you will notice that you are feeling different somehow ... maybe ... successful, or that you really CAN do the things you want and that they ARE actually possible?

I noticed this change all of a sudden. It didn't creep up on me; it was just there one day. But before I noticed it, I had other people telling me that my attitude had changed and that I was different somehow. I didn't pay attention to the comments at first but then, once I was able to see it, I started taking notice to a whole lot of change in myself ... and my income!

I do personal development every single day. First thing in the morning I read for at least 30 minutes, and then I go thorough training emails from newsletters I receive. When I am finished with that I take my daily lesson that is delivered through our company. The entire process takes me about 60 minutes for everything.

It is the most eye-opening, fascinating 60 minutes of my work day! And my attitude, posture, and income are all showing the signs that I take the time to expand my personal knowledge each day. My mentor says that "A mind once expanded can never contract." He couldn't be more on target!

So take the time to develop your mind and grow yourself. Read, listen to audio CDs, and watch Personal Development video sessions. Do a couple of these or do them all, but do them every single day without fail! The changes in yourself, your income, and in your life will be phenomenal!

Fight for your Self-Worth!

Self-Worth; this is a word that is so much easier to say, and spell then it is to feel!

Why do so many women feel that they have no self-worth?
How did they lose it?

Is it because of the way the world has portrayed the perfect woman today?

Is it because someone took it from them?

Is that the void some fill by over eating?

Did their partner breach a trust?

Did their partner fall into the grips of the world of pornography?

Does their partner demean them with insults about how they look?

Did their partner continuously admire other women?

Did they grow up being ridiculed by a family member?

Have they been suffering from a controlling illness?

Were they bullied and criticized through their school years?

Were they sexually abused as a child?

Were they laughed at in a moment of vulnerability?

Were they ever raped?

All of these experiences definitely play a part in pouring a woman's self-worth right down the drain. The people causing these kind of negative actions are totally responsible for tearing down a woman's worth. To tear down a persons self-worth is one of the cruelest ways to treat a human being. It is a no win situation for that person. They cannot fight back. They are being attacked with a blindfold on. You have succeeded in humiliating them, and you have won that battle. Well, that's not a real brag story, because anyone can win against innocence. The true win is when the battle turns around. The true win is when the person who has lost their self-worth, stands up and takes that control back.

For those of you that have been through this battle and are struggling to just get up on an elbow, or feel empty inside and so alone that you wonder why you even get up in the morning, you can beat this!

Listen to me! You are not responsible for falling, or losing the battle. But you are TOTALLY responsible for getting back up. Yes that's right, it is you that has to pull it together. I know, it's a joke to even think about it, but you need to go back as far back as you can and find a place where in your mind that will make you smile. If you cannot, then try to think of someone that you know that is hurting more deeply that yourself and use that knowledge as your motivation. Go there in your mind. Use that thought to give you a reason to get up and pull yourself together. Your self-worth is worth fighting for. You are as strong as your greatest strength. You will always be stronger than your greatest weaknesses. Those weaknesses will never win against your strengths.

You have been hurt and raped of one of your most sacred emotions, self-worth. Now you want it back, so take it back. It is right there inside of you. You just have buried it under all your dirty laundry, so to speak. You can go on feeling empty if you want. Noone will care, not for long anyway. You can continue to use drugs, alcohol, or even food to fill that empty lonely void inside of you. You can miss out on life because you are forgetting to fight and it is so much easier to fall into the pity pit. You can spend the rest of every second worrying that if you even try to gain back some of your self-worth, you will fail and feel even more lonely. Well, you might just fail the first try, the second and the third. You may even feel that it's hopeless. If you give into that feeling, then you are letting yourself down. You have now become responsible for losing your chance at regaining your self-worth. You are allowing whatever it was that tore you apart in the first place to take control of your everything. You are allowing a memory to defeat you. There is no person there now; it's just a thought. A memory that you are allowing to ruin what little time you have on this earth. Why are you doing that? You know you can stop it. You know how! I have repeated myself so many times and I will continue to repeat this. -HABITS- positive habits of thinking. You must reconstruct your thought patterns to think WIN..not to think LOSE! You must make a new commitment to yourself, one that you can reach out and touch!

I understand the strength of negative thinking, and I have felt its power many, many times. To the point that I could hardly feel myself breathe. That was when I knew that I, and only I could stop it. It was inside of me. It was not standing beside me or next to me or behind me. It was ME! Inside of you, is where you must look and dig for the real you. Not the you that has been scarred and hurt, but the you that can smile and laugh and appreciate all the good things in life. There still are many good things if you will just open your positive side and allow them to reach you. The more positive thoughts that you fill yourself with, the less negative thoughts can survive. Also you must be honest with what your bad habits are and where they are taking you. Identify with them and how they are bringing you down, instead of up. These are bad habits that you have allowed to run your life. Now, as you have invited them in, you will simply un-invite them. Additionally, say no to abusing Drugs, Alcohol and yes FOOD!

In order to strengthen the mental you, you must also strengthen the physical you. I don`t mean be a body builder or an Olympic athlete. I just mean a healthier you, a you that you want to be!

Remember whatever it was that brought you down in yourself is in the past. If you continue to allow the pain to live inside of you, you will suffer. The past is over and there is no suffering on your part that will erase it. So get on with life. Search deep inside of you and bring back who you are. Bring back the person you can smile at in the mirror. Bring back the person you talk to all the time. Bring back the person that you were meant to be. Bring back you, and then you will have your self-worth back!

*********************************

I am goodness.

I am all my goodness.

Even when I feel I am less,

I am always more!

David Viscott

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

Making The Most Of Now

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” --Henry David Thoreau (1817-62) American writer, author, naturalist

How do you actually spend your days? Are you focused and committed to everything you do? If you are, that’s wonderful! But if that’s not you, does this ring a bell? Are you spending a lot of your day thinking about what has happened to you up to this moment? Or are you waiting for something to happen, for the right opportunity to come along, to get some more time, make some more money, meet the right person? Are you dreaming of what might happen next week, next month, next year? STOP!

Each day you are given is a gift. It is time to value every moment. We all have 24 hours a day. No more. No less. The clock is ticking and there will be no second chance. You cannot get time back once it has gone. What do you choose to do with your 24 hours? Are you letting life just happen? Decide to take control. Stop rushing. Savour every moment as it happens. Take note of everything around you. Be in the moment as it happens. Listen to the sounds, observe other people, see the buds on the trees and shrubs, the spring flowers peeping out through the snow. Don’t miss what is happening now in your world.

Act as though this day was your last. What message would you like to leave? Treat everyone you meet with care, kindness and understanding. Communicate clearly. Make every encounter with another person important. Give them respect, admiration and courtesy and you will attract the same. Do what you are doing to the best of your ability. Make only commitments you can deliver. Trust yourself to say and do the right thing. Choose to be excellent in all that you do. Be more, do more, demand and expect more from yourself. Focus on what needs to be done now, on results. Prioritize your time – don’t waste it. See every challenge or problem is a chance to grow.

Live your life on purpose, not by accident. The past – it’s over with and should be nothing but a fading memory. The future – it simply hasn’t happened yet and things you do today, now, are likely to have an impact on that future. Don’t compare your present situation to anything else – accept it for what it is and make the most of it – or decide to take action now if it is not the present you want. Acknowledge that nothing will improve unless you do something about it. Be happy. Don’t wait for events or other people to make you happy. Have some fun! Start enjoying your life – now, today. Start doing things you enjoy or try something different. Keep your sense of humour, your sense of fun. Think ‘This is my day of opportunity!’ – every day! Seize and enjoy every moment. Every morning is a fresh beginning. What are you waiting for?

The Wisdom of Uncertainty

There is really only one certainty in life. Life is uncertain. We often live as though nothing will change, but it does. This continuous battle between wanting things to stay the same and finding that nothing does stay the same creates something inside us. This creation of constant change is a movement, a force of nature, and a guiding path.

This movement within us and outside us is the spirit of living, of which, we all take part in. None of us can predict the future. This creates uncertainty on the human level, yet we all learn to trust and even welcome change in the deepest part of who we are. No one is perfect, we wake up each day with the opportunity to create something different in every moment.

When we come to expect the unexpected, we are beginning to trust in a wisdom greater than knowledge to lead us through each day. Religious communities call this the path of God, science calls this higher consciousness, but for our purposes - let's call this the path we were meant to follow with certainty in uncertainty.

To move toward something we cannot see creates uneasiness. This part of us is our human nature. Our human nature wants things in life to be predictable. At the same time, there are things in human existence that we are also glad to leave behind and in the past.

Have you ever noticed how the heart and the mind feel like they are being pulled forward by a magnetic force when we follow what we cannot see or feel? It is as though our whole body/self is being drawn into an experience. This pathless path is one we all take each day and each moment.

Wonder what would happen if you were to live for these moments and find joy in them? I suspect you would find yourself becoming more and more living in the state of anticipated joy. This does not mean that nothing in the future will be sad, but you can begin to accept each moment with anticipated joy in knowing that the awareness of this anticipated joy will fill you. It will be the filling of your body with the joy of living. The joy of living fully in soul. And, the uncertainty of the future will be met with joyful trust that all will be known when the time is right for us to know.

Such a journey was known to us as a child. Do you remember laying on the ground and finding yourself breathing in the aroma of the ground and grass? As an adult, I suspect you don't have such clarity with your senses. Let us never forget that child inside us that knew how to play all day and never tire. Our creativity was endless and filled with anticipated joy in knowing that what was about to be created next would be fun.

Samuel Oliver, author of, "What the Dying Teach Us: Lessons on Living"

Taking Yourself Too Seriously? - Suggestions for Reclaiming Your Perspective

"We can change our circumstances by a mere change of our attitude." - William James, 19th Century American psychologist and philosopher

I've noticed I often take myself, my work, and my life way too seriously. I blow events out of proportion, demand perfection, and generally behave as if my needs are at the center of everything.

I agonize over small decisions, worry about personal interactions, wrestle with each word of a simple e-mail, and wake up at night with my heart pounding in anticipation of tomorrow's presentation or with angst about what happened today. Was I good enough? How can I get this right for a change? Why did I say THAT?! The minutest detail is not too small to escape scrutiny when I'm in this frame of mind - when life becomes very, very serious.

When this happens I lose my self, my center, and my perspective. I step out of the precious present moment and into anxiety about the future or the past. I forget that there's nothing I can control except right now, right here, this moment and my availability to it.

Happily, remembering this personal truth is what shifts me back into the present. I begin to breathe again and slip seamlessly into the realization that right now, at this moment, I am okay. Sanity returns as I focus on what is at hand.

Vibrant and Joyful
I practice a martial art called aikido, whose flowing and graceful movements belie the power behind them. Aikido is based on principles such as centered response and utilization of energy, and it has practical applications in the world of conflict resolution and self-management. Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of aikido, called it the Art of Peace, and said that we must "always practice the Art of Peace in a vibrant and joyful manner." Aikidoists try to remember this as we throw each other around the mat, smiling and having fun while we work to perfect our technique.

As we push on into the first decade of this new century, it is likely that life will become even more complex than it already is. Here are some suggestions that might help when you become separated from your perspective:

- Acknowledge - Often all it takes to change your current stressed out state is to notice it. As you bring your awareness back to the present moment, you regain a sense of perspective and possibility.
- Center - Breathe. Smile. Be.
-Call someone and talk about it, better yet laugh about it.
- Read a poem.
- Listen to music.
- Take a walk or go for a run.
- Dream up some practices of your own.

Use your growing awareness to lighten up, smile, live and love in a vibrant and joyful manner. And stop taking yourself so seriously!

How to Concentrate in 4 Magic Steps

One of the main problems that deter a person's success is their lack of concentration. Lapses encourage disturbances to get in the way and stall progress. If ones wishes to proceed on their road to success, it is imperative they learn how to concentrate. Here, we show you some easy to learn exercises that are easy to implement.

1) Silence or Noise:
Most people cannot concentrate when it is too noisy, but others work better with music or others in the midst of a crowded room. If you are not aware as yet what best suits you, then try out the different environments. How? Take a notepad and a pencil or pen with you and try and write down a letter in all the three circumstances in a set amount of time. Ten minutes. That is all you will need to determine where your source of concentration lies. How? Check not only for length but also for development as that is more important.

2) Focal Point:
Every morning, before you leave for work or on the way, stare at any object for ten minutes. You can do this while in the toilet, car or bus. You will find this difficult, but whatever happens, do not move your gaze away. Hold it. Wait. And then, as the minutes pass you will find yourself deeply meditating about things that happened to you yesterday or challenges you have to face in a few minutes. Congratulations. You have just conquered the art of meditation.

3) Deep Breathing:
In the beginning, you can do this while staring at the object from tip number two, but if you wish to move towards real concentration, do this separetly. Sit down on the floor. If its hard, place a cushion. Close your eyes. Breathe. Count the number of inhales. When you have reached 100, start counting backwards but this time count the exhales. Mastering this will take you a while, but once you do move on to other kinds of mathemathical calculations such as naming the months of the year from December backwards or alphabetically. After that, make up exercises as you like.

4) Movement:
Focus on an animal: cat, dog or even ant or bird. Follow their every movement as if they exist in a vaccumm. Study every tiny spot on their body. The point of this is to learn how to diversify your concentration in such a way that movement does not deter you from your goal.

Conclusion:
Practice the above four tips and like magic, you will start enjoying life to its fullest because you will be able to focus on the things you want to focus on and disregard those that disrupt. Practive the above tips daily and you will be that much more closer to achieving your dreams and goals. Best of Luck!

Self Identity: Who Are You?

Self-identity? Who are you really? We identify with many things, but this is just a process in our minds. In fact, this identification causes us to suffer.

Your favorite basketball team loses, and you suffer as though YOU lost. Your car is damaged and it feels like YOU are hurt. Somebody attacks who they think you are, and it is as though they could actually reach inside and poke at your true self. Is there a way to escape this unecessary drama and pain?

Perhaps, if you can see what you are not. Seeing this clearly can free you from much of the suffering that comes from identification. Try this simple meditation.

A Meditation On Self Identity

Get comfortable in a quiet place. Close your eyes, relax and take several deep breaths, breathing through your nose. Let your breathing fall into a natural pattern. Allow tension to drain from your body.

Now begin by asking: Where am I? What am I? Who am I? Let these questions sit for a moment in your mind.

Be aware of your body. Think of your leg. If you lost it, would you cease to exist? Are you your leg? Go through the parts of your body, asking "Am I here?" "Is this my self?"

Open your eyes and look around you. Are you those things? Maybe it you feel pain when your favorite chair breaks, as though it were you. But you're not that chair. Ask yourself which of these things you own are you. "Am I this?"

Close your eyes and say your name. Do you feel a sense of identity? What if you had no name? Ask "Am I really..." and say your name again. What's the honest answer? If this one is tough, say "I am..." and insert any other name. Notice how when you call yourself by another name, you feel differently. Your name-identity is a collection of ideas, something seen differently by you and others.

As feelings arise, ask "Am I this fear?... this pain, desire, sadness, pleasure, anger? Your feelings are not you - they just pass through you. Your clothes, your body, your reputation - none of it is your true self-identity.

Do this meditation for twenty minutes, then take a deep breath and get up. Notice if you feel different - less worried or less attached to things, feelings and thoughts. Do the meditation as often as necessary, to remind you of what you are not.

Emotions- Why Do We Have Them?

We as human beings have a body and a mind. With the body, we move around and do work. With the mind, we think, and experience emotions. Imagine of a human being with no emotions whatsoever. Only a thinking machine who reacts to nothing emotional but makes scientific analysis. Imagine telling a joke to him/her. They will not laugh at it, but either ignore it or analyze the joke. They make life difficult for those around them.
After all what is a person without any emotions?

Why do we have emotions at all? Your computer on which you are sitting right now is a perfect machine to analyze, think and give results. It has no emotions. It is only an intelligent machine. Why are human beings not like that? Would life be better if we had no emotions? We would lose all the charm of living if there was no trace of any emotion in any of us. Let us take some situations. A death - people gather, complete the ceremonies and depart. No wet eyes, no remembering the dead soul, no sense of loss. The law of nature is simple. One who is born has to die. So only intelligent understanding of that but no feeling of loss. Can you visualize the scene?

Love, what is love, if not an emotion? So there will be no love. People will meet, produce children and get away from each other. No love, no romance. What about family? They may have a family for the children to grow up. Then the family will get separated. Coming to achievements, discoveries and inventions. Why will a person without any emotions, feel good by achievements or get excited with discoveries? So nothing great. Only minimum existence needs to be met. It is the time for us now in this discussion to imagine of everything we do in life. Practically all our actions are governed by emotions. Imagine a person winning an Olympics gold medal and walking away without any expression! Think of more situations and you will realize the role of emotions in life.

We have emotions, because we are not low-level animals. Because even dogs and cats have emotions. We have emotions because they make us enjoy life. They make us perform great things and they make us human.

Being Flexible

When you think about being flexible, what do you think of first? Which aspects of being flexible are important, which are essential, and which ones can you take or leave? You be the judge.

In each of our lives, there will be times of joy and times of sorrow. In pain, we are born. In pain, we leave the world. Somewhere in the midst of living, growing, and understanding life in our maturity, we find ourselves seeking to find what we were born with. Innocence is precious. We really never lose it. We might for a time lose innocence, but life is too large for one perceptual being to embrace fully with the mind and the heart.

Innocence comes alive the moment we realize life is beyond our control, our ability to perceive, and our emotional capacity to feel. It is here we realize that life is beyond our control and we open our hearts and mind to something greater than ourselves. Our ego finds its proper place in our lives and we shift from being the central core of life's existence and attention to something much greater. At this point, we begin to place our life, our heart, our mind, and our soul into the very wisdom that has created us.

I trust that what you've read so far has been informative. The following section should go a long way toward clearing up any uncertainty that may remain.

This movement from self-centered awareness to life-centered awareness allows us to perceive and have revealed to us information greater than what we know life to be to what can be known through us. Here, we become flexible with life, instead of, life having to go our way. This level of knowing creates a 6th sense, a super sense of awareness, an awareness in higher consciousness. We become more soul than body at this point. We become the awareness that brought us into this world. We become spiritual beings having a human experience. We become sons and daughters of the Universe.

When we remember who we are. We re - member ourselves back into the awareness at birth and at death. This awareness is with us always. We sometimes forget who we are. But, when we re - member who we are. We reconnect ourselves into the sense of knowing we grow through life and we also go through life. Through it all, our soul is in process of maturing and in process of remembering. With this in mind, our ups and our downs find consolation in our essence - in our spirit.

Now might be a good time to write down the main points covered above. The act of putting it down on paper will help you remember what's important about flexible.

Answering the Time-Old Question – What is Self Image?

Self image has been scrutinized by psychologists and philosophers alike for centuries. Even though there are many arguments as to what self image is exactly, people will agree that self image has much to do with how a person feels about him/herself. Some would say that self image means how a person views himself in the world. What a person does everyday - their job, how they treat others, how attractive they are to others - hinges on their self image. Some people have positive perceptions of themselves, while others do not. It is believed that people who have positive perceptions of themselves have been told they are good, or useful. Those who are constantly told they aren’t good or useful, have negative perceptions of themselves.

This leads to another definition of self image which is how others view a person. If others do not enjoy a person’s company, the person may develop a poor self image. If other people do not find a person attract, the person may suffer from poor self image. People often put too much emphasis on what others think about them. It is important to remember that one’s self image will change throughout their lifetime. They begin to rely less on what others think about them as they mature and find hobbies and social groups that accept them. Their perception changes as they become more educated. Learning a skill or learning more about the world can have a positive impact on a person’s self esteem.

Sometimes, though, a person needs counseling in order to develop a positive self image. This is very common among women and teenagers. Fashion magazines show women that are perfect when in reality they are not. Some women feel they cannot live up to these expectations and become depressed. Teenagers feel the same way when they compare themselves to others in their peer group. Unrealistic comparisons like these are dangerous. They can lead to eating disorders, disruptive behavior, and eventually drug or alcohol abuse. Talking with a therapist can sometimes make a person realize that they do not have to compare themselves to others. Their self image improves and they can lead happy lives.

Self image needs to be nurtured. Everyone feels less than perfect sometimes. But most people recover and go on with their lives. But some people cannot let go of these bad feelings as easily. Their self image is so unrealistic, they make themselves sick and need professional help and advice in order to gain the strength needed to get past those bead feelings.

100% Attitude

The effect your attitude has on everything – some steps to improve it.

Your attitude will determine a lot, we’ve all heard the glass half full or glass half empty way off looking at things, both are the same thing, but are vastly different as well.  You have the ability to transform your life and reach new heights of success and fulfilment. Whether at this moment in time your attitude is positive, negative or somewhere in the middle you can take control of your life and set yourself free!  Everyone has potential, the unfortunate thing is that most people go through life and never realise or take advantage of this!

Firstly you must visualize what you want - you the dreams everyone has – unfortunately most people leave them as just that, dreams.  The second thing that you must do is see yourself in your dream environment, and see yourself getting there.  I can, I will and when I are the things you must say rather than the negative version I can’t, I won’t and if I!  Don’t worry if you fall into a more negative category – the good thing about attitude is that you can learn and train yourself to have a positive one given a bit of time and practice.

You’ve told yourself that it is going to happen and now must talk about it by doing this you are making yourself accountable and putting yourself under a little pressure to make it happen!  If you dream is to be on Millionaire Street and you are currently in debt – you must realise that this dream is not going to happen overnight in may take a few years – you don’t go around saying you are going to be a millionaire by next Thursday afternoon in three weeks time!  Don’t set unrealistic targets otherwise you may put yourself under undue stress and pressure to achieve, which can be detrimental to your cause.

Attitude isn’t everything – it is simply the first thing!  Remember it’s going to be action that actually gets you there and the attitude will determine what pace that will be.  You are the architect, the builder and the benefactor of all your life’s endeavours.  So when something doesn’t go your way the first place to look is inwards.  You must ask yourself what you could have done differently to have gotten a more favourable result, after this inward analysis is done then you look at some of the external issues that may have been amiss too.

Everyone has their fears; I don’t mean things like scared of the dark or spiders etc.  I am talking about fears to do with success, for example, it might be something that you haven’t learnt to do yet, and you fear that you may fail.  Remember that if you don’t try you fail anyway, and if you do fail sometimes then success is that much sweeter because you actually had to get over obstacles to get to the end result.

In summary we’ll use something interesting to illustrate a point.  There are 26 letters in the alphabet, A = 1 and Z = 26 working on that basis we assign a number to each letter of the word attitude and add them up:
A(1) + T(20) + T(20) + I(9) + T(20) + U(21) + D(4) + E(5) = 100 - 100% Attitude!
Having a positive or optimistic attitude helps you to achieve more for yourself than a negative or pessimistic one.  Visualise what you want, take action to make it happen, overcome any fears and keep plugging away, remember that tree that you see in your local park didn’t get that big overnight.  You can learn to train your mind, and over time you will learn how to develop and maintain a positive attitude.

7 Surefire Self Defense Tips Criminals Want Women To Never Learn.

Self defense tips for women. Are you at risk? What makes a woman a perfect target? Here are 7 ultimate techniques and weaknesses criminals who were interviewed look for to take advantage of you. These tips aren’t just for the busy holidays either. It’s all about keeping your awareness all year round. Follow these tips and you can protect yourself from becoming one of this year’s next statistics.

1. Coming up to my vehicle, did I look around - aware of who is near it? Am ...

Self defense tips for women. Are you at risk? What makes a woman a perfect target? Here are 7 ultimate techniques and weaknesses criminals who were interviewed look for to take advantage of you. These tips aren’t just for the busy holidays either. It’s all about keeping your awareness all year round. Follow these tips and you can protect yourself from becoming one of this year’s next statistics.

1. Coming up to my vehicle, did I look around - aware of who is near it? Am I walking my packages in a cart or carrying them in my hand? Criminals interviewed say they want to attack the woman who is walking alone and not aware of her surroundings. Always put shopping bags in a cart. This allows you ample time to react if someone is approaching you. If you’re carrying bags, this renders your hands useless to protect yourself and gives a criminal a bonus. Remember… the buddy system. Late night shopping always needs to be a ‘girl’s night out’ affair.

2. Are my keys already in my hand before leaving the store giving me self defense protection? Again, awareness plays a huge part. Also, with a key in hand, it can be a terrific weapon if you’re suddenly grabbed.

3. Am I talking on the cell phone …fixing my hair… counting my change… writing in the checkbook…and not paying attention? Paying attention is the key. Take care of all that ‘stuff’ in the store. NOT in the parking lot, or outside of the vehicle.

4. Is there anyone loitering around my vehicle… if so… are they suspicious enough to making me go back into the store? Don’t think your being silly. NO SUCH THING. Especially when your safety is on the line. If you’re not comfortable with walking to your car, ask security to accompany you or if there isn’t security available, a store manager will do it – it is their job. That’s what they are getting paid to do.

5. Is my vehicle in a well-lit area? Is it easily visible to passer-bys? If I can’t see my car really well, who can? Criminals say they do not want to be noticed, recognized, or slowed down in any way. If you’re not easily seen by others at a mall or store, that makes you a perfect target for a criminal.

6. If I have automatic keyless entry, did I hit the unlock button twice … making it easy for someone to get into my passenger side door? Get into the habit of opening just your driver’s side door. New technology is wonderful when you’re with others, loading packages, during the day. But, at night when your field of vision is limited, don’t take any chances. Criminals are hoping that you’ll make their job easier for them.

7. If I am approached by someone – no matter how much help I need, it’s OK to turn them down. Remember, criminals will do and say anything they can to gain your trust. DON”T FALL FOR IT!!! If a stranger wants to help you with your bags, tell them no, thank you. If they still insist, tell them no again. Criminal interviews revealed that they will try to play on a victim heartstrings to get access to the vehicle, a purse, or for the vehicle keys - and move-in for the attack when trust is gained and it’s at least expected.

If you are unable to load packages into your vehicle, ask help from the store – they would be glad to help. It’s their job.