Fight for your Self-Worth!

Self-Worth; this is a word that is so much easier to say, and spell then it is to feel!

Why do so many women feel that they have no self-worth?
How did they lose it?

Is it because of the way the world has portrayed the perfect woman today?

Is it because someone took it from them?

Is that the void some fill by over eating?

Did their partner breach a trust?

Did their partner fall into the grips of the world of pornography?

Does their partner demean them with insults about how they look?

Did their partner continuously admire other women?

Did they grow up being ridiculed by a family member?

Have they been suffering from a controlling illness?

Were they bullied and criticized through their school years?

Were they sexually abused as a child?

Were they laughed at in a moment of vulnerability?

Were they ever raped?

All of these experiences definitely play a part in pouring a woman's self-worth right down the drain. The people causing these kind of negative actions are totally responsible for tearing down a woman's worth. To tear down a persons self-worth is one of the cruelest ways to treat a human being. It is a no win situation for that person. They cannot fight back. They are being attacked with a blindfold on. You have succeeded in humiliating them, and you have won that battle. Well, that's not a real brag story, because anyone can win against innocence. The true win is when the battle turns around. The true win is when the person who has lost their self-worth, stands up and takes that control back.

For those of you that have been through this battle and are struggling to just get up on an elbow, or feel empty inside and so alone that you wonder why you even get up in the morning, you can beat this!

Listen to me! You are not responsible for falling, or losing the battle. But you are TOTALLY responsible for getting back up. Yes that's right, it is you that has to pull it together. I know, it's a joke to even think about it, but you need to go back as far back as you can and find a place where in your mind that will make you smile. If you cannot, then try to think of someone that you know that is hurting more deeply that yourself and use that knowledge as your motivation. Go there in your mind. Use that thought to give you a reason to get up and pull yourself together. Your self-worth is worth fighting for. You are as strong as your greatest strength. You will always be stronger than your greatest weaknesses. Those weaknesses will never win against your strengths.

You have been hurt and raped of one of your most sacred emotions, self-worth. Now you want it back, so take it back. It is right there inside of you. You just have buried it under all your dirty laundry, so to speak. You can go on feeling empty if you want. Noone will care, not for long anyway. You can continue to use drugs, alcohol, or even food to fill that empty lonely void inside of you. You can miss out on life because you are forgetting to fight and it is so much easier to fall into the pity pit. You can spend the rest of every second worrying that if you even try to gain back some of your self-worth, you will fail and feel even more lonely. Well, you might just fail the first try, the second and the third. You may even feel that it's hopeless. If you give into that feeling, then you are letting yourself down. You have now become responsible for losing your chance at regaining your self-worth. You are allowing whatever it was that tore you apart in the first place to take control of your everything. You are allowing a memory to defeat you. There is no person there now; it's just a thought. A memory that you are allowing to ruin what little time you have on this earth. Why are you doing that? You know you can stop it. You know how! I have repeated myself so many times and I will continue to repeat this. -HABITS- positive habits of thinking. You must reconstruct your thought patterns to think WIN..not to think LOSE! You must make a new commitment to yourself, one that you can reach out and touch!

I understand the strength of negative thinking, and I have felt its power many, many times. To the point that I could hardly feel myself breathe. That was when I knew that I, and only I could stop it. It was inside of me. It was not standing beside me or next to me or behind me. It was ME! Inside of you, is where you must look and dig for the real you. Not the you that has been scarred and hurt, but the you that can smile and laugh and appreciate all the good things in life. There still are many good things if you will just open your positive side and allow them to reach you. The more positive thoughts that you fill yourself with, the less negative thoughts can survive. Also you must be honest with what your bad habits are and where they are taking you. Identify with them and how they are bringing you down, instead of up. These are bad habits that you have allowed to run your life. Now, as you have invited them in, you will simply un-invite them. Additionally, say no to abusing Drugs, Alcohol and yes FOOD!

In order to strengthen the mental you, you must also strengthen the physical you. I don`t mean be a body builder or an Olympic athlete. I just mean a healthier you, a you that you want to be!

Remember whatever it was that brought you down in yourself is in the past. If you continue to allow the pain to live inside of you, you will suffer. The past is over and there is no suffering on your part that will erase it. So get on with life. Search deep inside of you and bring back who you are. Bring back the person you can smile at in the mirror. Bring back the person you talk to all the time. Bring back the person that you were meant to be. Bring back you, and then you will have your self-worth back!

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I am goodness.

I am all my goodness.

Even when I feel I am less,

I am always more!

David Viscott

Dorothy Lafrinere
Owner/Operator
Website- http://www.womensselfesteem.com
Weblog- http://www.justblogme.com/Dorothy
Forum- http://womenselfesteem.proboards29.com
email- dorothy@womensselfesteem.com

The Wisdom of Uncertainty

There is really only one certainty in life. Life is uncertain. We often live as though nothing will change, but it does. This continuous battle between wanting things to stay the same and finding that nothing does stay the same creates something inside us. This creation of constant change is a movement, a force of nature, and a guiding path.

This movement within us and outside us is the spirit of living, of which, we all take part in. None of us can predict the future. This creates uncertainty on the human level, yet we all learn to trust and even welcome change in the deepest part of who we are. No one is perfect, we wake up each day with the opportunity to create something different in every moment.

When we come to expect the unexpected, we are beginning to trust in a wisdom greater than knowledge to lead us through each day. Religious communities call this the path of God, science calls this higher consciousness, but for our purposes - let's call this the path we were meant to follow with certainty in uncertainty.

To move toward something we cannot see creates uneasiness. This part of us is our human nature. Our human nature wants things in life to be predictable. At the same time, there are things in human existence that we are also glad to leave behind and in the past.

Have you ever noticed how the heart and the mind feel like they are being pulled forward by a magnetic force when we follow what we cannot see or feel? It is as though our whole body/self is being drawn into an experience. This pathless path is one we all take each day and each moment.

Wonder what would happen if you were to live for these moments and find joy in them? I suspect you would find yourself becoming more and more living in the state of anticipated joy. This does not mean that nothing in the future will be sad, but you can begin to accept each moment with anticipated joy in knowing that the awareness of this anticipated joy will fill you. It will be the filling of your body with the joy of living. The joy of living fully in soul. And, the uncertainty of the future will be met with joyful trust that all will be known when the time is right for us to know.

Such a journey was known to us as a child. Do you remember laying on the ground and finding yourself breathing in the aroma of the ground and grass? As an adult, I suspect you don't have such clarity with your senses. Let us never forget that child inside us that knew how to play all day and never tire. Our creativity was endless and filled with anticipated joy in knowing that what was about to be created next would be fun.

Samuel Oliver, author of, "What the Dying Teach Us: Lessons on Living"

Building your child's self esteem

Copyright 2006 Emmanuel Segui

It's one of those things that all parents want to provide for their children and one of those things that many feel they do not know how to do: raise a self-confident child. Self-esteem oftentimes seems like a fragile, distant thing that we all know what it is but don't know how to develop. Your self-esteem is a compilation of how you feel about yourself. It encompasses everything from your confidence in relationships, to your body image, to your work life. So how do you foster this "thing" in your children?

We teach our children "honesty is the best policy." This applies to how we deal with our children as much as it does expecting them to be honest with us. When it comes to your child's self-esteem, he or she will know or be able to sense if you are not being honest. For example, if art is not your child's top skill, don't say that his or her drawing is the best you've ever seen. Your child will know it's not, and will not believe you the next time you say something meant to be positive, no matter how honest it is. Instead, tell your child something genuine about the piece or the effort. Make non-judgmental statements such as, "You really used your imagination in making the flowers many different colors." This simply states your observation, rather than a false statement.

Also, understand that your child and your child's behavior are two separate things. This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe. However, when you discipline your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad, because of who he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect your child's self-esteem. Using "I" statements helps with this. Say something like, "I don't like it when you leave your toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior, rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.

Let your child make some decisions. Children are in a situation where everyone else is constantly telling them what to do, when to do it, where to go, and more. When children are allowed to make some choices, even if it's something small, they learn to be self-reliant. You don't want your children growing up feeling dependent on others for direction. Simple choices such as what to wear (you can offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your child's being able to think independently.

Encourage your children to try new things. While there's nothing wrong with encouraging your child's talents--this will help build self-confidence as well--it's also important that your children learn to experiment. Trying new things helps everyone overcome fears of the unknown and helps us learn to deal with success and failure.

If a child never learns to try new things, this can create problems later in life.

After all, most people do not live in world where everything is the same day after day. Life is constantly changing, whether it's a move to a new city or starting a new career. If children are experienced at trying new things, even if small, life's bigger transitions will be much easier--such as leaving for college and starting a career.

These are, of course, only a few things you can do to help develop your child's self-confidence. The important thing to remember is that it is an ongoing process. The little things do add up, even if they seem unimportant. This can be helpful to keep in mind, particularly when something as important as developing your child's self esteem feels like a monumental task. It doesn't have to be! Taking time to recognize your child for the wonderful person he or she is, combined with a few techniques and consistency will go a long way toward raising a healthy, confident adult.