Tampilkan postingan dengan label advice. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label advice. Tampilkan semua postingan
Senin, 27 Agustus 2012
Five Things You Don't (And Should!) Know About Stress
Whether it’s called stress management, relaxation training, or its newest incarnation, “Resiliancy,” it seems that the question of healthy response to the stress of daily life is on everyone’s mind. But it’s important to remember a few things about stress that are rarely discussed—if known at all!
1) Stress won’t hurt you. Hans Selye, the “father of stress” was a polylinguist, whose first language was not English. Before he died, he said that, had his command of English been more precise, he would have been known as the “Father of Strain” rather than stress. What’s the difference? Enormous, from an engineering standpoint. Stress is pressure divided by unit area, whereas strain is measured in deformation per unit length. In other words, while strain speaks to the load you are carrying, strain deals with the degree to which that load warps you out of true. In other words, it is NOT stress that hurts you. It is strain.
2) Stress is necessary for life and growth. Far from being something you avoid, when healthy, the body and mind respond to environmental stress by becoming stronger. Look at this in the arena of physical fitness. Imagine a triangle with each of the three corners having a different designation: Stress, nutrition, and rest. Stress equals exercise, nutrition equals the foods taken in before and after the exercise, and rest equals…well, rest. If you have either too much or too little of any of these, the body breaks down. Note that astronauts in orbit must be very careful to stress their bodies daily with stationary bicycles and other apparatus: zero gravity decreases stress to the point that the bones literally begin to lose calcium. The truth is that, in life, we are rewarded largely for how much stress we can take without breaking. The intelligent approach is to both reduce unnecessary stress and to increase our ability to handle healthy stress without straining.
3) Come of the best research comes from our former enemies! Russian research into the body-mind dynamic has produced valuable results. They figure that any physical technique has three aspects: Breath, Motion, and Structure, and that these three are dependant upon one another. Stress “dis-integrates” this structure as it morphs into strain. The first to be disturbed is almost always breathing. This is the reason that martial arts, yoga, Sufi Dancing and so many other disciplines can use the physical as a vehicle for spiritual transformation. As we learn to handle greater and greater amounts of stress with grace, we naturally evolve to higher levels of integration and performance. It is our birthright.
4) It doesn’t take years to learn proper breathing techniques. Seek out a Chi Gung, yoga, or Tai Chi teacher and say you want to learn proper belly breathing. A good teacher can convey the basics of this critical skill in an hour or less.
5) You don’t have to meditate for an hour a day to get the benefits. While it’s fabulous to spend two twenty minute sessions a day, massive benefits can be gained with just five minutes a day. Here’s the trick: it’s not five minutes all at one time, it’s five one minute sessions spaced through the day. At every hour divisible by 3: 9, 12, 3, 6, and 9, simply stop and breathe properly for sixty seconds. You can do this while walking down the street, or sitting in a business meeting. The important thing is to learn a proper technique, and to practice it briefly, and correctly. This single act will improve posture, energy, digestion, and turn stress into high performance. Five minutes a day…it will seem a pain at first, but once you’ve got the hang of it, it’s the best 300 second investment you’ll ever make!
Minggu, 26 Agustus 2012
Five Steps To Stop Procrastinating And Achieve Your Goals Today
The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow. Vincent T. Foss
Susan Daley was a successful entrepreneur selling promotional products. She enjoyed making decent money while having the flexibility to work at home. Susan recently took over a colleague’s account, a huge growth opportunity. So why did she spend her mornings playing solitaire in her messy office rather than making phone calls to prospects?
To procrastinate is “to put off doing something”, or “to postpone or delay needlessly”. Sometimes we avoid doing the tasks that must be done because they are unpleasant or boring, or because we have poor time management skills or are lazy. And yet, often it is the tasks we most want to do that we put off, resulting in much internal pressure.
In Susan’s case, she loved building relationships with potential clients, helping them to better serve their customers and employees, and making a good paycheck to support her family.
So what was going on?
Awareness is the first step. Think about your excuses for not accomplishing your goals. Everyone has his or her own pattern of procrastinating. Here are eight examples:
- Fear of change, rejection or failure
- Need to be perfect (I can’t do it perfectly so I won’t start)
- Lack of time
- Too much stress, pressure or anxiety which leads to paralysis
- Overwhelm on how to start (task is too big, don’t know how to do it, etc.)
- Self-doubt or lack of confidence
- Disorganization, indecision
- Other priorities, big (work/family crisis) and little (need to check email first!)
Do these excuses sound reasonable and logical? That’s often the case. The problem is that if you buy into the excuses, you don’t follow-through on the steps needed to achieve your goals. Procrastination can feel good in the moment, but then creates stress. This becomes a vicious cycle.
Overcoming Procrastination
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. Walt Disney
Getting into action alleviates the stress of procrastination almost instantaneously.
Here are the five simple steps:
1. Identify the task to be done
2. Identify the first or next step to accomplish the task
3. Commit to a time when you will begin the first step
4. Be aware of your pattern of excuses
5. BUT begin the first step in collaboration with the excuses
Susan outlined the steps needed to organize her files and her office to have ready access to client information. She set daily and weekly goals for contacting prospects and clients. Working with a coach provided the structure and accountability to stay in action on these tasks. She developed strategies to counteract the fear of rejection that was fueling some of the procrastination.
Don’t worry about eliminating all the excuses, or analyzing too much why you are procrastinating. Getting into action actually reduces the grip of the inertia and overwhelm of procrastination. As Susan found, it can be helpful to have partners and strategies to keep the excuses at bay.
You’ll feel more confident and relaxed as you experience the success of reaching your goals. You gain momentum and if you begin the task again and again, you WILL ultimately achieve it.
Minggu, 11 Maret 2012
Your Worst Habits Just Need To Be Reprogrammed!
You have the power to train your mind to choose what you think, instead of allowing random thoughts to hold you hostage. Your goal is to become inner-directed and focused, so that you decide what you want to think, rather than have your thoughts and emotions determined by the world around you. The untrained mind has more emotional ups and downs because it is reacting to random thoughts. Focus on what you want with joy and enthusiasm.
Remember, just like the Earth, your brain does not discern what you plant. It will work just as hard to grow weeds as it will to grow beautiful flowers. You determine the seeds that are planted by what you say to yourself over and over.
Quite simply, you are a self-fulfilling prophecy because your subconscious mind does not know the difference between factual reality and imagined reality. If you focus on what you say you don’t want, then you will create that as the dominate request in your experience.
So, keep focused on what you do want. Define yourself as the new person you chose to be. (Example: I am a perfect weight for my body and lifestyle.) If you are still looking to lose weight, you may want to say something like: I am allowing my body to obtain its perfect balance for health and vitality. Many of your beliefs have no foundation of truth, so instead of promoting your purpose, they hold you back from success.
If you think you are destined to be overweight, below average, poor, unlucky in love, clumsy, or even “not good at something,” you will take actions that make these thoughts become reality. None of these thoughts are actually true, but thinking them creates beliefs and images in your mind that reinforce these negative statements until they actually become true for you.
Be aware of the directions you give your brain. Your internal dialogue, along with what you believe about situations, is how you create your emotions. Negative self-talk messages will cause you to give up before you even try something new. Always be aware that your words can make ominous predictions. If you say about your habit, “I’ll never be able to stop this; I’ve been doing it so long.”
You are programming yourself to believe that you are too weak and powerless to overcome the habit. These negative permissions clutter up your ability to change your behaviors. Pay attention to yourself when you hear yourself uttering negative permissions and negative reinforcements.
Avoid negative self-talk: “I can’t do this. I don’t understand. I’ll look stupid. I’m too old to learn new skills. They make me feel stupid. That’s just the way I am. There’s nothing I can do. No one in my family can do it, so I know I cannot.”
Change your self-talk to positive reinforcement for changing old behaviors (habits). A positive outlook creates more options for creative solutions. Remember, focus on what you want. Keep it simple and sure.
Remember, just like the Earth, your brain does not discern what you plant. It will work just as hard to grow weeds as it will to grow beautiful flowers. You determine the seeds that are planted by what you say to yourself over and over.
Quite simply, you are a self-fulfilling prophecy because your subconscious mind does not know the difference between factual reality and imagined reality. If you focus on what you say you don’t want, then you will create that as the dominate request in your experience.
So, keep focused on what you do want. Define yourself as the new person you chose to be. (Example: I am a perfect weight for my body and lifestyle.) If you are still looking to lose weight, you may want to say something like: I am allowing my body to obtain its perfect balance for health and vitality. Many of your beliefs have no foundation of truth, so instead of promoting your purpose, they hold you back from success.
If you think you are destined to be overweight, below average, poor, unlucky in love, clumsy, or even “not good at something,” you will take actions that make these thoughts become reality. None of these thoughts are actually true, but thinking them creates beliefs and images in your mind that reinforce these negative statements until they actually become true for you.
Be aware of the directions you give your brain. Your internal dialogue, along with what you believe about situations, is how you create your emotions. Negative self-talk messages will cause you to give up before you even try something new. Always be aware that your words can make ominous predictions. If you say about your habit, “I’ll never be able to stop this; I’ve been doing it so long.”
You are programming yourself to believe that you are too weak and powerless to overcome the habit. These negative permissions clutter up your ability to change your behaviors. Pay attention to yourself when you hear yourself uttering negative permissions and negative reinforcements.
Avoid negative self-talk: “I can’t do this. I don’t understand. I’ll look stupid. I’m too old to learn new skills. They make me feel stupid. That’s just the way I am. There’s nothing I can do. No one in my family can do it, so I know I cannot.”
Change your self-talk to positive reinforcement for changing old behaviors (habits). A positive outlook creates more options for creative solutions. Remember, focus on what you want. Keep it simple and sure.
Sabtu, 03 Maret 2012
Online Counseling - a Timely Happenstance
Online counseling may be the latest and greatest improvement in therapy. It seems to be perfect for this fast-paced world with many workers who sit by their computer screens all day long. Yet, it is not limited to today's information technology workers or those whose work requires being online frequently.
Imagine how convenient it will be to read a quick email from your therapist that can give you just the insight you were looking for to move beyond your failed relationship or that obsession with chocolate that was left in the wake of a bad break-up. This could be the very addiction that is causing you to buy larger sized clothes all of the sudden.
Think about the worried mother who doesn't quite know what to do about her child's out-of-character or unusual behavior. Or even worse, the distraught parent trying to cope with his teenager's drug or alcohol addiction. And of course there are other intense problems, such as teen pregnancy, death of a loved one or terminal illness in the family.
These can be tough problems to tackle in an already stressed environment that is the world we live in. But when do you find the time to go to your therapy session? This is especially the case when your therapist is not available during the day, over weekends or at some other time when it is convenient to you?
Think about the time it takes to travel back and forth for a therapy session even when you do manage to schedule one. There is the ever increasing cost of gasoline to contend with too, adding to the stress that might lead you to seek counseling in the first place!
Then there are some problems that you might not want to talk to someone face-to-face with, especially someone who lives in your home town. Wouldn't it be much easier to sign up for email counselling sessions with someone in a far away city? You could even open an anonymous email account with yahoo or some other email provider that doesn't necessarily need your real name, and use that to offer near total anonymity.
This seems like a good idea, it can provide you the kind of nurturing environment needed to really pour your heart out to the therapist and get a professional response via email. The therapist doesn't have to know anything about your identity and can still treat you professionally. And this could mean no embarrassing record that could be subpoenaed in a court of law.
A good online counseling plan might include unlimited emails for a certain amount of time. Giving you the kind of access to a therapist that you might not get in a once-a-week appointment. Not without paying extra, that is.
Yes, there are a number of benefits to seeking online therapy. Anonymity, access, time and money savings. No one needs to know you are in therapy and they won't ever see you "go" to an appointment. Yet, while you are sitting at your computer, an email may pop up with just the timely advice or encouragement you were looking for, the kind of support that can be hard to come by in today's crazy, mixed up world.
Imagine how convenient it will be to read a quick email from your therapist that can give you just the insight you were looking for to move beyond your failed relationship or that obsession with chocolate that was left in the wake of a bad break-up. This could be the very addiction that is causing you to buy larger sized clothes all of the sudden.
Think about the worried mother who doesn't quite know what to do about her child's out-of-character or unusual behavior. Or even worse, the distraught parent trying to cope with his teenager's drug or alcohol addiction. And of course there are other intense problems, such as teen pregnancy, death of a loved one or terminal illness in the family.
These can be tough problems to tackle in an already stressed environment that is the world we live in. But when do you find the time to go to your therapy session? This is especially the case when your therapist is not available during the day, over weekends or at some other time when it is convenient to you?
Think about the time it takes to travel back and forth for a therapy session even when you do manage to schedule one. There is the ever increasing cost of gasoline to contend with too, adding to the stress that might lead you to seek counseling in the first place!
Then there are some problems that you might not want to talk to someone face-to-face with, especially someone who lives in your home town. Wouldn't it be much easier to sign up for email counselling sessions with someone in a far away city? You could even open an anonymous email account with yahoo or some other email provider that doesn't necessarily need your real name, and use that to offer near total anonymity.
This seems like a good idea, it can provide you the kind of nurturing environment needed to really pour your heart out to the therapist and get a professional response via email. The therapist doesn't have to know anything about your identity and can still treat you professionally. And this could mean no embarrassing record that could be subpoenaed in a court of law.
A good online counseling plan might include unlimited emails for a certain amount of time. Giving you the kind of access to a therapist that you might not get in a once-a-week appointment. Not without paying extra, that is.
Yes, there are a number of benefits to seeking online therapy. Anonymity, access, time and money savings. No one needs to know you are in therapy and they won't ever see you "go" to an appointment. Yet, while you are sitting at your computer, an email may pop up with just the timely advice or encouragement you were looking for, the kind of support that can be hard to come by in today's crazy, mixed up world.
Jumat, 24 Juni 2011
Renovating? Learn How To Do It Yourself!
Those who think that the internet is just a venue for high-speed socialization, e-businesses, and virtual recreation better think twice.
The internet can also aid you unfold opportunities where you can discover your prowess in undertaking things yourself. What things? Practical stuffs you may never have mustered the gut to endeavor for lack of basic ideas how to approach them.
Why do you think are there several people who invest in buying do-it-yourself books or who endure browsing over literature at the bookstore and at the library to learn snippets of things they are interested at? Or who go from one person to the next to hear their experiences about some projects or matters they have handled?
Because smart people want to learn. For with knowledge comes strength and security of success. Smart people know that if they undertake things by themselves, they will achieve fulfillment while saving time and money.
Let’s say you want to convert your dull garden into an appealing and relaxing greenery. Will you hire a gardener right away and let him do his stuff because you have no idea how to landscape and since he is the expert anyway? How can you approve or disapprove his recommendations if you do not understand what works and what does not? Do you know that you can do the landscaping yourself – from design to actual work - and perhaps commission someone only to help you with the task?
There are several things you can do on your own to improve you home. Build a patio. Build a conservatory. Hang a door. Lay a wooden floor on your new deck. Fit a carpet in your bedroom.
Or, undertake hobbies that will make most of your time, instead of wasting it trying to learn without knowing the essentials. Play the guitar and make music. Exercise the right way to keep fit. Drive the motorcycle and go places. Learn magic and amaze your friends’ faces.
Or, take your studies or businesses seriously so you can achieve more or invest more wisely. Revise for an exam following some proven strategies. Choose a realtor using sensible tips.
There are many things you want to know about. Don’t you think it’s great that you can learn them all from the internet just by choosing the topic you’re interested in? This means being liberated from the hassles and stresses of having to leaf through sleep-inducing texts from books. This also means not having to laboriously gather information from several sources, which usually lead to confusion from their oftentimes conflicting statements. In clear and concise explanations and presentations, you can find out what you need to learn.
If you want to challenge yourself, if you dare take that leap to cross the other side from the threshold of “what if I try this…”, if you want to empower your personality, why not do things yourself? If you do, you will discover that you can indeed do it yourself. Such discovery starts with a click on that button.
The internet can also aid you unfold opportunities where you can discover your prowess in undertaking things yourself. What things? Practical stuffs you may never have mustered the gut to endeavor for lack of basic ideas how to approach them.
Why do you think are there several people who invest in buying do-it-yourself books or who endure browsing over literature at the bookstore and at the library to learn snippets of things they are interested at? Or who go from one person to the next to hear their experiences about some projects or matters they have handled?
Because smart people want to learn. For with knowledge comes strength and security of success. Smart people know that if they undertake things by themselves, they will achieve fulfillment while saving time and money.
Let’s say you want to convert your dull garden into an appealing and relaxing greenery. Will you hire a gardener right away and let him do his stuff because you have no idea how to landscape and since he is the expert anyway? How can you approve or disapprove his recommendations if you do not understand what works and what does not? Do you know that you can do the landscaping yourself – from design to actual work - and perhaps commission someone only to help you with the task?
There are several things you can do on your own to improve you home. Build a patio. Build a conservatory. Hang a door. Lay a wooden floor on your new deck. Fit a carpet in your bedroom.
Or, undertake hobbies that will make most of your time, instead of wasting it trying to learn without knowing the essentials. Play the guitar and make music. Exercise the right way to keep fit. Drive the motorcycle and go places. Learn magic and amaze your friends’ faces.
Or, take your studies or businesses seriously so you can achieve more or invest more wisely. Revise for an exam following some proven strategies. Choose a realtor using sensible tips.
There are many things you want to know about. Don’t you think it’s great that you can learn them all from the internet just by choosing the topic you’re interested in? This means being liberated from the hassles and stresses of having to leaf through sleep-inducing texts from books. This also means not having to laboriously gather information from several sources, which usually lead to confusion from their oftentimes conflicting statements. In clear and concise explanations and presentations, you can find out what you need to learn.
If you want to challenge yourself, if you dare take that leap to cross the other side from the threshold of “what if I try this…”, if you want to empower your personality, why not do things yourself? If you do, you will discover that you can indeed do it yourself. Such discovery starts with a click on that button.
Selasa, 10 Mei 2011
What Is It About The Commute That Drains Me?
On the surface, this is a no-brainer – it’s everything about the commute itself. The time involved, the energy it takes, and - did I mention the time involved? Underneath it though, there are many other factors that go into making us feel drained during the commute, and they can be very different for each person. If your goal is to alleviate the stress of the commute, then it helps to understand what it is that actually is causing the stress in the first place.
For example, is it the distance, the traffic, the amount of time sitting in one place, fears of breaking down or having an accident? Or could it be that when someone else is in control, forcing you to give up your control - for example to a pilot, a bus driver, or a conductor - it sap your energy or makes you tense.
Understanding what causes you to become tense and putting a name to it will help you on your way to overcoming the impact of this stress. A good time to think about these issues is when you are commuting. It will give you a more accurate way to identify the causes of the stressful commute.
Stop and observe your thinking. Take a moment and examine your behavior. Are you angrily shouting epitaphs in your mind or out loud to other drivers? Are you thinking of the chores left behind at home or the heavy workday ahead? Are you checking the clock and thinking about the time spent on the road? Are you listening to every creak of the train as it rounds the curves? What other things come into your mind?
If the draining is in some part of your body, then you may want to consider relaxation techniques that you can do during your commute. This will help you reduce the feeling of stress and the tension in your body.
If the draining is in your thinking, a change in attitude toward the commute will reduce that feeling. There are a number of techniques available to help you with this. Most importantly is awareness, because, with awareness, comes the ability to change.
If the draining is emotional, distraction such as listening to music, talking to someone who’s next to you, using a mantra, can be very effective. Signing up for a share-ride or using public transportation at least part of the week are also good ways to stop the draining of the commute. Even having a plan for the days off work can be energizing.
Once you are aware of these thoughts and feelings, you can begin to consciously change, making your commute more enjoyable.
For example, is it the distance, the traffic, the amount of time sitting in one place, fears of breaking down or having an accident? Or could it be that when someone else is in control, forcing you to give up your control - for example to a pilot, a bus driver, or a conductor - it sap your energy or makes you tense.
Understanding what causes you to become tense and putting a name to it will help you on your way to overcoming the impact of this stress. A good time to think about these issues is when you are commuting. It will give you a more accurate way to identify the causes of the stressful commute.
Stop and observe your thinking. Take a moment and examine your behavior. Are you angrily shouting epitaphs in your mind or out loud to other drivers? Are you thinking of the chores left behind at home or the heavy workday ahead? Are you checking the clock and thinking about the time spent on the road? Are you listening to every creak of the train as it rounds the curves? What other things come into your mind?
If the draining is in some part of your body, then you may want to consider relaxation techniques that you can do during your commute. This will help you reduce the feeling of stress and the tension in your body.
If the draining is in your thinking, a change in attitude toward the commute will reduce that feeling. There are a number of techniques available to help you with this. Most importantly is awareness, because, with awareness, comes the ability to change.
If the draining is emotional, distraction such as listening to music, talking to someone who’s next to you, using a mantra, can be very effective. Signing up for a share-ride or using public transportation at least part of the week are also good ways to stop the draining of the commute. Even having a plan for the days off work can be energizing.
Once you are aware of these thoughts and feelings, you can begin to consciously change, making your commute more enjoyable.
Senin, 09 Mei 2011
How to Prepare for a Long Flight
The first thing I like to do is to get as little sleep as possible the night before I fly, this way by the time I get to the plane I can hopefully just go to sleep and wake up at my destination. I only recommend this if you are able to perform any tasks you need to do before your flight. If you have to drive for 5 hrs first you may want to get a good night sleep, and maybe take some Tylenol pm or something else to make you drowsy. Many people like to get a little drunk on a flight, I am not one of them, but if it helps you relax and get some sleep then I say go for it, just don’t allow yourself to drink to the point where you become an obnoxious drunk on a plane.
My next tip is to get to the airport 3 hours in advance, this is for 2 reasons. By getting there so early I am always one of if not the first to actually check in for my flight, which usually gets me a good seat, and I don’t have to wait in long lines. The other reason for always getting t the Air port at least 3 hrs before your flight is, if you check in early you cant get bumped from the plane, the people who get there last minute sometime here the words overbooked.
Things to pack in your carry on:
When ever possible I try to avoid putting things under the plane, but sometimes it is unavoidable, depending on how long I am going away for. What you take with you on the plane can make a big difference between having a pleasant flight and being so unbelievable bored that you go mad.
I always make sure to bring a fully charged MP3 player, my MP3 player hold 20 gigs of music so I never have to go into my bag to chance a CD or a memory card, and I have way more music to listen to then time to listen to it. This way I have the music for any mood I may be in, so I just load it up and listen as I fall asleep on the plane.
Just incase I cant sleep I will also make sure to bring a book with me, if for whatever reason I can not fall asleep which does happen to me, I like to take my mind off things by getting lost in a good story, but something light and entertaining, I have always found a good Action book or even Science Fiction to be good for that.
I also recommend bringing a thick soft sweater with you on the plane, this can be used if it is cold on the plane, or you can use it as an extra pillow.
I like to play video games, so I travel with one of the new hand held video games everywhere I go, so if I am not in the mood for reading I can play some games and keep myself occupied, and that really is the key. Keep yourself busy on the plane and you will be amazed at how fast the flight goes, if you stare at the clock and focus on the planes progress it will feel like forever.
My next tip is to get to the airport 3 hours in advance, this is for 2 reasons. By getting there so early I am always one of if not the first to actually check in for my flight, which usually gets me a good seat, and I don’t have to wait in long lines. The other reason for always getting t the Air port at least 3 hrs before your flight is, if you check in early you cant get bumped from the plane, the people who get there last minute sometime here the words overbooked.
Things to pack in your carry on:
When ever possible I try to avoid putting things under the plane, but sometimes it is unavoidable, depending on how long I am going away for. What you take with you on the plane can make a big difference between having a pleasant flight and being so unbelievable bored that you go mad.
I always make sure to bring a fully charged MP3 player, my MP3 player hold 20 gigs of music so I never have to go into my bag to chance a CD or a memory card, and I have way more music to listen to then time to listen to it. This way I have the music for any mood I may be in, so I just load it up and listen as I fall asleep on the plane.
Just incase I cant sleep I will also make sure to bring a book with me, if for whatever reason I can not fall asleep which does happen to me, I like to take my mind off things by getting lost in a good story, but something light and entertaining, I have always found a good Action book or even Science Fiction to be good for that.
I also recommend bringing a thick soft sweater with you on the plane, this can be used if it is cold on the plane, or you can use it as an extra pillow.
I like to play video games, so I travel with one of the new hand held video games everywhere I go, so if I am not in the mood for reading I can play some games and keep myself occupied, and that really is the key. Keep yourself busy on the plane and you will be amazed at how fast the flight goes, if you stare at the clock and focus on the planes progress it will feel like forever.
Minggu, 03 April 2011
Use Your Commute
Two commutes a day, ten a week, forty a month, about 440 times a year. If you commute 45 minutes to work, that is ninety minutes a day, 1,650 hours a year!
You know those goals you’ve been meaning to achieve? Why not use this time to work on them! How you choose to use the time is as broad as your imagination.
So much of our commuting time now is spent as a negative experience, that it drains us for other activities in our day. When we use our commuting time to benefit ourselves and make accomplishments, it not only will benefit us, but you will see positive impacts at work, home and play!
Using the time to organize your day at work will help you to be more productive at work and less time will be spent away from home and play. The more you are able to achieve, the goals you have been putting off will no longer seem like clouds hanging over you, and will free you up to both mentally and physically.
If you have things to do for the day call into the office (on speaker phone) and go over things that will make your day at the office more organized. If you never have time to write, bring a tape recorder and narrate your stories in your car. If you’re into exercise, isometrics (muscle contractions held for a count of 10 and repeated; do not do this if you are hypertensive or have a heart disorder) are well-documented to work in developing muscle. There are, of course, books on tape and even courses on various subjects. Why not take the time to enrich your life.
The commute is also a great time to schedule the day or review how the day went. Whatever you choose to do, getting value out of the commute helps to change your attitude about the commute and relaxes you throughout the time because you are focused on something more interesting than counting the minutes or the traffic jams. So now, instead of a major block to living, the commute can actually become an opportunity to advance your life.
Think of ten activities that you can do during your commute, and prepare some of them ahead of time. This way if you don’t feel like doing one, you have another ready to go, even if it’s just as simple as listening to your favorite music. You won’t always want to read or listen to music, so you might be prepared to work on a puzzle or compose a letter or song in your head. Your commute is as open to possibilities as you are!
You know those goals you’ve been meaning to achieve? Why not use this time to work on them! How you choose to use the time is as broad as your imagination.
So much of our commuting time now is spent as a negative experience, that it drains us for other activities in our day. When we use our commuting time to benefit ourselves and make accomplishments, it not only will benefit us, but you will see positive impacts at work, home and play!
Using the time to organize your day at work will help you to be more productive at work and less time will be spent away from home and play. The more you are able to achieve, the goals you have been putting off will no longer seem like clouds hanging over you, and will free you up to both mentally and physically.
If you have things to do for the day call into the office (on speaker phone) and go over things that will make your day at the office more organized. If you never have time to write, bring a tape recorder and narrate your stories in your car. If you’re into exercise, isometrics (muscle contractions held for a count of 10 and repeated; do not do this if you are hypertensive or have a heart disorder) are well-documented to work in developing muscle. There are, of course, books on tape and even courses on various subjects. Why not take the time to enrich your life.
The commute is also a great time to schedule the day or review how the day went. Whatever you choose to do, getting value out of the commute helps to change your attitude about the commute and relaxes you throughout the time because you are focused on something more interesting than counting the minutes or the traffic jams. So now, instead of a major block to living, the commute can actually become an opportunity to advance your life.
Think of ten activities that you can do during your commute, and prepare some of them ahead of time. This way if you don’t feel like doing one, you have another ready to go, even if it’s just as simple as listening to your favorite music. You won’t always want to read or listen to music, so you might be prepared to work on a puzzle or compose a letter or song in your head. Your commute is as open to possibilities as you are!
Rabu, 09 Maret 2011
How to Concentrate in 4 Magic Steps
One of the main problems that deter a person's success is their lack of concentration. Lapses encourage disturbances to get in the way and stall progress. If ones wishes to proceed on their road to success, it is imperative they learn how to concentrate. Here, we show you some easy to learn exercises that are easy to implement.
1) Silence or Noise:
Most people cannot concentrate when it is too noisy, but others work better with music or others in the midst of a crowded room. If you are not aware as yet what best suits you, then try out the different environments. How? Take a notepad and a pencil or pen with you and try and write down a letter in all the three circumstances in a set amount of time. Ten minutes. That is all you will need to determine where your source of concentration lies. How? Check not only for length but also for development as that is more important.
2) Focal Point:
Every morning, before you leave for work or on the way, stare at any object for ten minutes. You can do this while in the toilet, car or bus. You will find this difficult, but whatever happens, do not move your gaze away. Hold it. Wait. And then, as the minutes pass you will find yourself deeply meditating about things that happened to you yesterday or challenges you have to face in a few minutes. Congratulations. You have just conquered the art of meditation.
3) Deep Breathing:
In the beginning, you can do this while staring at the object from tip number two, but if you wish to move towards real concentration, do this separetly. Sit down on the floor. If its hard, place a cushion. Close your eyes. Breathe. Count the number of inhales. When you have reached 100, start counting backwards but this time count the exhales. Mastering this will take you a while, but once you do move on to other kinds of mathemathical calculations such as naming the months of the year from December backwards or alphabetically. After that, make up exercises as you like.
4) Movement:
Focus on an animal: cat, dog or even ant or bird. Follow their every movement as if they exist in a vaccumm. Study every tiny spot on their body. The point of this is to learn how to diversify your concentration in such a way that movement does not deter you from your goal.
Conclusion:
Practice the above four tips and like magic, you will start enjoying life to its fullest because you will be able to focus on the things you want to focus on and disregard those that disrupt. Practive the above tips daily and you will be that much more closer to achieving your dreams and goals. Best of Luck!
1) Silence or Noise:
Most people cannot concentrate when it is too noisy, but others work better with music or others in the midst of a crowded room. If you are not aware as yet what best suits you, then try out the different environments. How? Take a notepad and a pencil or pen with you and try and write down a letter in all the three circumstances in a set amount of time. Ten minutes. That is all you will need to determine where your source of concentration lies. How? Check not only for length but also for development as that is more important.
2) Focal Point:
Every morning, before you leave for work or on the way, stare at any object for ten minutes. You can do this while in the toilet, car or bus. You will find this difficult, but whatever happens, do not move your gaze away. Hold it. Wait. And then, as the minutes pass you will find yourself deeply meditating about things that happened to you yesterday or challenges you have to face in a few minutes. Congratulations. You have just conquered the art of meditation.
3) Deep Breathing:
In the beginning, you can do this while staring at the object from tip number two, but if you wish to move towards real concentration, do this separetly. Sit down on the floor. If its hard, place a cushion. Close your eyes. Breathe. Count the number of inhales. When you have reached 100, start counting backwards but this time count the exhales. Mastering this will take you a while, but once you do move on to other kinds of mathemathical calculations such as naming the months of the year from December backwards or alphabetically. After that, make up exercises as you like.
4) Movement:
Focus on an animal: cat, dog or even ant or bird. Follow their every movement as if they exist in a vaccumm. Study every tiny spot on their body. The point of this is to learn how to diversify your concentration in such a way that movement does not deter you from your goal.
Conclusion:
Practice the above four tips and like magic, you will start enjoying life to its fullest because you will be able to focus on the things you want to focus on and disregard those that disrupt. Practive the above tips daily and you will be that much more closer to achieving your dreams and goals. Best of Luck!
Senin, 10 Januari 2011
New Year's Resolutions
Have you kept to your new year's resolutions? Sadly most of us haven't, and many of us have given up trying. But why is this? Are you going to wait another 12 months before you try again? Many people give up if they fail once. You are putting unreasonable pressure on yourself if you do this.
In one of the British Heart Foundation publications I came across a lovely phrase: " A lapse is not a collapse". In other words, because you've failed once, it doesn't mean you've failed completely. Sometimes you have to fail several (or even many) times before you succeed. Thomas Edison said: "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." It is said that Edison was asked how he could bear to have so many failed experiments, and he said: “I’ve learnt 700 ways not to make a light bulb.” I’m not sure if this story is true, but it really shows graphically the power of positive persistence.
So, pick yourself up and try again, but before you do – think again. Think about the goal you’ve set yourself, and ask yourself some questions: Is it worth achieving? Is this the best way to achieve it? Do I need help from others to achieve my goal? Should I break a big goal down into several smaller goals? Have I set myself too many goals?
Then be persistent and tenacious. Louis Pasteur said: “Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity".
Make 2006 a year when you got closer to the person you could be:
“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof." Barbara Kingsolver
Apparently a baby falls at least 1500 whilst learning to walk. Now that's an interesting thought - think of all those things that we would have never learnt as babies if we'd given up as easily as we do now!
In one of the British Heart Foundation publications I came across a lovely phrase: " A lapse is not a collapse". In other words, because you've failed once, it doesn't mean you've failed completely. Sometimes you have to fail several (or even many) times before you succeed. Thomas Edison said: "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." It is said that Edison was asked how he could bear to have so many failed experiments, and he said: “I’ve learnt 700 ways not to make a light bulb.” I’m not sure if this story is true, but it really shows graphically the power of positive persistence.
So, pick yourself up and try again, but before you do – think again. Think about the goal you’ve set yourself, and ask yourself some questions: Is it worth achieving? Is this the best way to achieve it? Do I need help from others to achieve my goal? Should I break a big goal down into several smaller goals? Have I set myself too many goals?
Then be persistent and tenacious. Louis Pasteur said: “Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity".
Make 2006 a year when you got closer to the person you could be:
“The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof." Barbara Kingsolver
Apparently a baby falls at least 1500 whilst learning to walk. Now that's an interesting thought - think of all those things that we would have never learnt as babies if we'd given up as easily as we do now!
Jumat, 26 November 2010
The Fear Of Criticism
So many times in life we would like to try something new. Like a new sport, different style haircut, changing clothing or loosing weight. But are afraid to try because of the criticism we might receive from others because of our change. Over time we have been brainwashed into believing other people's opinions and think they hold more weight then our own feelings. We don not want to be judged. If you want to break old habits you must not be controlled by outside people. You must have inner control.
This is your life!
There is nothing wrong with a little criticism. You just have to be able to decipher between the truths. Listen for it. Ask yourself if there is any truth to what someone is saying. Do they know what they are talking about? If you feel they are after careful consideration then use their feedback to improve. If your intuition tells you they are full of it then disregard it! Be true to your self and only accept opinions that hold truths!
Don't be afraid to have criticisms of your self. But make sure they are your own opinions and not someone else’s. If you don not like something about yourself then change it. Always look to improve.
Sometimes our own criticisms are tainted. This goes back to being brainwashed. Others have fed us information over the years that might have be tainted and have altered our thoughts over the years. Since we were not trying to decipher between the truth, our thoughts have turned into a messy desk where you can not find the paper you want. It is time to clean up the mess of criticism and restructure. This is the only way you will be able to change you habits and better your life.
This is your life!
There is nothing wrong with a little criticism. You just have to be able to decipher between the truths. Listen for it. Ask yourself if there is any truth to what someone is saying. Do they know what they are talking about? If you feel they are after careful consideration then use their feedback to improve. If your intuition tells you they are full of it then disregard it! Be true to your self and only accept opinions that hold truths!
Don't be afraid to have criticisms of your self. But make sure they are your own opinions and not someone else’s. If you don not like something about yourself then change it. Always look to improve.
Sometimes our own criticisms are tainted. This goes back to being brainwashed. Others have fed us information over the years that might have be tainted and have altered our thoughts over the years. Since we were not trying to decipher between the truth, our thoughts have turned into a messy desk where you can not find the paper you want. It is time to clean up the mess of criticism and restructure. This is the only way you will be able to change you habits and better your life.
Sabtu, 30 Oktober 2010
The Perrfectionist Demon!
One of the worst habits you can have is to be a perfectionist. Most people do not even realize that being a perfectionist leads to the horrible habit of procrastination - putting off the things that you know need to be done.
The basis for procrastination is the fear that we will not do something properly so we decide not to start. If we don't start then we cannot fail. We think in our heads that we must complete a project but are afraid it will not be done correctly leading to failure or being completed late and unsatisfactory. This type of thinking leaves no middle ground; you are either perfect or a complete failure. People who think this way set them selves up for failure because very, I repeat very, few thinks are perfect in life.
Striving to be perfect creates expectations, pressures and problems, which create enormous stress. This stress is so strong that being happy is almost impossible. One of the most damaging problems with being a perfectionist is the feeling of having to impress others. So much so that the perfectionist thinking holds them back from ever being able to break any old habits and being able to create the change they desire.
You have to change your level of thinking. Accept that you and everything around you is not perfect. You will find yourself able to start projects with out being afraid. Be able to smile and not worry what others think about what you are doing. Not think to your self "I can't do it because I know it will come out bad, No body will like it. I just can't. "Or say "I'll just do it tomorrow, I have plenty of time." Perfectionists say these statements all the time. Don't fall into these traps. Enjoy life, smile and have fun. Do not let the things you have to do in life control you. Change your behavior today! It all starts with your mind set.
The basis for procrastination is the fear that we will not do something properly so we decide not to start. If we don't start then we cannot fail. We think in our heads that we must complete a project but are afraid it will not be done correctly leading to failure or being completed late and unsatisfactory. This type of thinking leaves no middle ground; you are either perfect or a complete failure. People who think this way set them selves up for failure because very, I repeat very, few thinks are perfect in life.
Striving to be perfect creates expectations, pressures and problems, which create enormous stress. This stress is so strong that being happy is almost impossible. One of the most damaging problems with being a perfectionist is the feeling of having to impress others. So much so that the perfectionist thinking holds them back from ever being able to break any old habits and being able to create the change they desire.
You have to change your level of thinking. Accept that you and everything around you is not perfect. You will find yourself able to start projects with out being afraid. Be able to smile and not worry what others think about what you are doing. Not think to your self "I can't do it because I know it will come out bad, No body will like it. I just can't. "Or say "I'll just do it tomorrow, I have plenty of time." Perfectionists say these statements all the time. Don't fall into these traps. Enjoy life, smile and have fun. Do not let the things you have to do in life control you. Change your behavior today! It all starts with your mind set.
Jumat, 08 Oktober 2010
Five Thoughts About Effective Communication
Communicating effectively can sometimes be difficult to do. So here are some thoughts, based on borrowed wisdom, on how to communicate clearly – and make a better connection with the other person too.
“To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences.” ~ John Henry Patterson
Keep it simple and don’t use jargon. Adjust your style according to who you are communicating with. Take responsibility by checking frequently that the other person understands the message you are trying to convey – don’t assume that your message is always clear.
“People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves.” ~ Dale Carnegie
Find out about the other person. Focus on the other person – their needs, their wants, their situation. Build rapport instead of barriers. Show respect for them and for their views.
“One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other's stories.” ~ Rebecca Falls
Giving someone space in which to talk and allowing them to follow through their ideas without fear of interruption is a most valuable gift. Listen. And switch off your mobile phone!
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~ Stephen Covey
Be in the moment and give the speaker your full attention. Say “what else do you need to tell me about this?” Summarise key points that show you have been listening actively and ask questions that will help clarify your understanding of the issue.
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." ~ Mother Teresa
Be nice! Acknowledge someone’s efforts and achievements, praise them, pay them a sincere compliment.
“To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences.” ~ John Henry Patterson
Keep it simple and don’t use jargon. Adjust your style according to who you are communicating with. Take responsibility by checking frequently that the other person understands the message you are trying to convey – don’t assume that your message is always clear.
“People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves.” ~ Dale Carnegie
Find out about the other person. Focus on the other person – their needs, their wants, their situation. Build rapport instead of barriers. Show respect for them and for their views.
“One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other's stories.” ~ Rebecca Falls
Giving someone space in which to talk and allowing them to follow through their ideas without fear of interruption is a most valuable gift. Listen. And switch off your mobile phone!
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~ Stephen Covey
Be in the moment and give the speaker your full attention. Say “what else do you need to tell me about this?” Summarise key points that show you have been listening actively and ask questions that will help clarify your understanding of the issue.
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." ~ Mother Teresa
Be nice! Acknowledge someone’s efforts and achievements, praise them, pay them a sincere compliment.
Sabtu, 04 September 2010
Don't Quarrel, Work Out Your Conflict Styles
Your conflict management style is your particular way of responding to conflict with others. Life experience causes all of us to acquire preferences and habits of how to respond to conflict and we tend to use these over and over again. This is is your conflict management style.
What you should know about conflict management styles.
1. You function better if you know what your preferred styles are. When you don't know your preferences clearly, you run on autopilot and react blindly. If you know your preferences, you can more easily make good, conscious choices. For example, if you know your tendency is to avoid conflict, you will be better able to decide whether avoiding is really the most useful response the next time you get in a conflict.
2. You can dramatically improve your ability to deal with differences constructively in any relationship if you openly discuss your conflict style management style preferences with others. When people know and understand each other's style, they are less reactive. They are more likely to be patient with each other's responses.
Having such a discussion is almost always a positive experience. There is nothing difficult about saying, "These are my preferred styles of dealing with differences." Most people find such a conversation encouraging, enlightening, and enjoyable. People who live or work together benefit greatly from having such a discussion. Choose a time and place when you are relaxed and not in the middle of a fight.
3. There are five basic styles of dealing with conflict:
- Directing (highly assertive and not concerned about relationships). "Here is what we are going to do (my way, of course)...."
- Harmonizing (very concerned with relationships and not assertive). "Whatever you say is fine with me (I just want to keep you happy)....
- Avoiding (neither assertive nor concerned with relationships). "I'd rather not talk about it right now (better to do nothing than have a disagreement)..."
- Cooperating (assertive but also concerned with the relationship). "Here is how I'd like to do it, but I'd also like to hear what you think we should do (If we just state our differences openly, I'm sure we can figure out a way to keep us both happy)...."
- Compromising (medium assertive and medium concern for relationship). "I'll back off a bit from what I'd prefer if you'll back off some too (Nobody should expect to get everything they want)...."
4. There is no right and wrong style. Each conflict management style has its own strengths and weaknesses. The goal is simply to know these and then choose the right style for the situation you are in.
5. You can bring out the best in other people if you know the preferences that are associated with each conflict management style. For example, a preference to always begin with connecting as persons before settling down to serious business is usually strong in people who prefer Harmonzing.
A preference to think things through carefully is common among people who prefer Avoiding. Therefore it is important not to demand instant answers from an Avoider. You can easily learn these preferences and this knowledge will help you a lot in bringing out the best in the people around you.
For several decades human relations trainers and teachers of conflict resolution skills have used conflict management style inventories to help people get a clear sense of their own preferences. Two of the most widely used are the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument and Style Matters.
How to Use Conflict Styles in Working with Other People
If you understand conflict management styles, you can often immediately sense what another person will need to feel comfortable. Below are sample "hot tips", excerpted from Style Matters:
How to bring out the best in someone who prefers the Directing conflict management style
- People who prefer the Directing style are task oriented. They are often highly productive and concerned to get the job done. They are good crisis managers and want results. Engage them and let them know you are committed to getting the job done or resolving the issue satisfactorily.
- If you need time to think things through, Directors are usually fine if you ask for this, so long as you indicate your commitment to returning to resolve things. You will get a more positive response if you state clearly when you will come back (e.g., in an hour, or tomorrow at nine o'clock, etc).
How to bring out the best in someone who prefers Avoiding
- More than any other style, Avoiders benefit from an offer to give them time and/or space to withdraw and think things through. You are more likely to get a "yes" answer on anything you need from them if you use a "two-step" approach. First, let the Avoider know you want something from them and you'd like them to think about this. Then return later - an hour, a day, a week - and hear their response.
- Stay low-key. The more intense or demanding you are, the more likely the Avoider will go into deeper withdrawal.
How to bring out the best in someone who prefers Harmonizing
- Harmonizers want to please and be pleased. Pay attention to small social niceties. More than other styles, Harmonizers are positively affected by gestures of thoughtfulness - a kind note, an appreciative comment, a card, flowers, a chocolate bar, etc.
- You will get more cooperativeness in doing serious work with Harmonizers if you use a two-step approach. First, connect with them as human beings. Ask how they are doing, inquire about a family member, tease a little, thank them for something, etc. Then, and only then, settle down to business. The human connection always comes before work for Harmonizers - an insight that may be especially difficult for task-oriented Directors to remember.
- Stay light. Seriousness or heaviness quickly stirs anxiety in Harmonizers and makes it hard for them to function well. Use humor. Appreciate their good qualities out loud.
Copyright Ron Kraybill 2006.
What you should know about conflict management styles.
1. You function better if you know what your preferred styles are. When you don't know your preferences clearly, you run on autopilot and react blindly. If you know your preferences, you can more easily make good, conscious choices. For example, if you know your tendency is to avoid conflict, you will be better able to decide whether avoiding is really the most useful response the next time you get in a conflict.
2. You can dramatically improve your ability to deal with differences constructively in any relationship if you openly discuss your conflict style management style preferences with others. When people know and understand each other's style, they are less reactive. They are more likely to be patient with each other's responses.
Having such a discussion is almost always a positive experience. There is nothing difficult about saying, "These are my preferred styles of dealing with differences." Most people find such a conversation encouraging, enlightening, and enjoyable. People who live or work together benefit greatly from having such a discussion. Choose a time and place when you are relaxed and not in the middle of a fight.
3. There are five basic styles of dealing with conflict:
- Directing (highly assertive and not concerned about relationships). "Here is what we are going to do (my way, of course)...."
- Harmonizing (very concerned with relationships and not assertive). "Whatever you say is fine with me (I just want to keep you happy)....
- Avoiding (neither assertive nor concerned with relationships). "I'd rather not talk about it right now (better to do nothing than have a disagreement)..."
- Cooperating (assertive but also concerned with the relationship). "Here is how I'd like to do it, but I'd also like to hear what you think we should do (If we just state our differences openly, I'm sure we can figure out a way to keep us both happy)...."
- Compromising (medium assertive and medium concern for relationship). "I'll back off a bit from what I'd prefer if you'll back off some too (Nobody should expect to get everything they want)...."
4. There is no right and wrong style. Each conflict management style has its own strengths and weaknesses. The goal is simply to know these and then choose the right style for the situation you are in.
5. You can bring out the best in other people if you know the preferences that are associated with each conflict management style. For example, a preference to always begin with connecting as persons before settling down to serious business is usually strong in people who prefer Harmonzing.
A preference to think things through carefully is common among people who prefer Avoiding. Therefore it is important not to demand instant answers from an Avoider. You can easily learn these preferences and this knowledge will help you a lot in bringing out the best in the people around you.
For several decades human relations trainers and teachers of conflict resolution skills have used conflict management style inventories to help people get a clear sense of their own preferences. Two of the most widely used are the Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument and Style Matters.
How to Use Conflict Styles in Working with Other People
If you understand conflict management styles, you can often immediately sense what another person will need to feel comfortable. Below are sample "hot tips", excerpted from Style Matters:
How to bring out the best in someone who prefers the Directing conflict management style
- People who prefer the Directing style are task oriented. They are often highly productive and concerned to get the job done. They are good crisis managers and want results. Engage them and let them know you are committed to getting the job done or resolving the issue satisfactorily.
- If you need time to think things through, Directors are usually fine if you ask for this, so long as you indicate your commitment to returning to resolve things. You will get a more positive response if you state clearly when you will come back (e.g., in an hour, or tomorrow at nine o'clock, etc).
How to bring out the best in someone who prefers Avoiding
- More than any other style, Avoiders benefit from an offer to give them time and/or space to withdraw and think things through. You are more likely to get a "yes" answer on anything you need from them if you use a "two-step" approach. First, let the Avoider know you want something from them and you'd like them to think about this. Then return later - an hour, a day, a week - and hear their response.
- Stay low-key. The more intense or demanding you are, the more likely the Avoider will go into deeper withdrawal.
How to bring out the best in someone who prefers Harmonizing
- Harmonizers want to please and be pleased. Pay attention to small social niceties. More than other styles, Harmonizers are positively affected by gestures of thoughtfulness - a kind note, an appreciative comment, a card, flowers, a chocolate bar, etc.
- You will get more cooperativeness in doing serious work with Harmonizers if you use a two-step approach. First, connect with them as human beings. Ask how they are doing, inquire about a family member, tease a little, thank them for something, etc. Then, and only then, settle down to business. The human connection always comes before work for Harmonizers - an insight that may be especially difficult for task-oriented Directors to remember.
- Stay light. Seriousness or heaviness quickly stirs anxiety in Harmonizers and makes it hard for them to function well. Use humor. Appreciate their good qualities out loud.
Copyright Ron Kraybill 2006.
Sabtu, 03 Juli 2010
Como Mantener tu Salud Mental
En los últimos años la mucha gente se ha dado cuenta de la importancia de una dieta apropiada y acompañada de ejercicio físico. En los pasados 20 años sin duda ha habido un cambio en cuanto al estado de salud de muchas sociedades, que ha determinado una mejor calidad de vida. Sin embargo, esto no ha traído salud mental que es tan importante como la salud física.
Hoy en día, la mayoría de la gente hace de 4 a 6 horas de ejercicio por día, y se asegura de que todo lo que ingiere, no tiene azucares o preservantes, pero no prestan atención a su salud mental. Es decir, mucha gente no toma las vacaciones necesarias, ni siquiera en los fines de semana largos. La gente trabaja 60 horas por semana, llevándose a las casas los problemas del trabajo y trabajando los fines de semana también. Todo esto con esperanzas de mejorar la calidad de vida material. Pero, ¿de que sirve todo el esfuerzo cuando el cerebro esta abundado y sientes explotar en la oficina?
Al final, la salud física puede sufrir no importa que bien comas y hagas ejercicio. Probablemente tengas alta presión, estrés y tensión lo cual pondrá en alto riesgo tu salud.
Para ayudarte a evitar llegar a alguna de las anteriores situaciones, aquí te presento algunos consejos para mejorar tu condición mental.
Si disfrutas la adrenalina, te recomiendo que pruebes deportes como kite surfing, bunge jumping, y demás. Si disfrutas andar en motocicleta es muy bueno andar en contra del viento como terapia para relajarse y disfrutar un buen viaje.
Buscar actividades que te desconecten de la rutina diaria (la cual a veces puede ser estresante) es la clave principal. Por ejemplo, si disfrutas leer, un buen libro de ciencia ficción como "Harry Potter", "Lord of the Rings" u otros pueden ser perfectos para ti. Si disfrutas en cambio mirar películas, entonces comienza con hacerte socio de una tienda de DVDs y veras que bien te hará.
Actividades como paseos fuera de la ciudad, visitar viñedos, campos, parques y demás son esenciales a la hora de relajarse. Si disfrutas las montañas, todavía puedes ir a visitar la nieve, esquiar y aflojar tu mente. Las vacaciones, por más pequeñas que sean te llenaran el alma con memorias alegres y positivas.
Si disfrutas andar en bicicleta, o en patines esas son actividades que te destaparan y ayudaran a sentirte mejor. Siempre es divertido hacerlo con amigos que estén dispuestos a un poco de aventura. Organizar un grupo grande de gente que quiera hacerlo es una buena idea, que los puede llevar a conocer lugares que nunca creías que ibas a encontrar. Ríos abandonados, pasajes que están cerrados para la gente, bosques y demás lugares increíbles para conocer.
En fin, hay un sin fin de actividades para llevar a cabo si buscas caminos diferentes para mejorar tu salud mental y relajarte naturalmente. No olvides que la salud mental es tan importante como la física y que para tener una hay que tener la otra!
Hoy en día, la mayoría de la gente hace de 4 a 6 horas de ejercicio por día, y se asegura de que todo lo que ingiere, no tiene azucares o preservantes, pero no prestan atención a su salud mental. Es decir, mucha gente no toma las vacaciones necesarias, ni siquiera en los fines de semana largos. La gente trabaja 60 horas por semana, llevándose a las casas los problemas del trabajo y trabajando los fines de semana también. Todo esto con esperanzas de mejorar la calidad de vida material. Pero, ¿de que sirve todo el esfuerzo cuando el cerebro esta abundado y sientes explotar en la oficina?
Al final, la salud física puede sufrir no importa que bien comas y hagas ejercicio. Probablemente tengas alta presión, estrés y tensión lo cual pondrá en alto riesgo tu salud.
Para ayudarte a evitar llegar a alguna de las anteriores situaciones, aquí te presento algunos consejos para mejorar tu condición mental.
Si disfrutas la adrenalina, te recomiendo que pruebes deportes como kite surfing, bunge jumping, y demás. Si disfrutas andar en motocicleta es muy bueno andar en contra del viento como terapia para relajarse y disfrutar un buen viaje.
Buscar actividades que te desconecten de la rutina diaria (la cual a veces puede ser estresante) es la clave principal. Por ejemplo, si disfrutas leer, un buen libro de ciencia ficción como "Harry Potter", "Lord of the Rings" u otros pueden ser perfectos para ti. Si disfrutas en cambio mirar películas, entonces comienza con hacerte socio de una tienda de DVDs y veras que bien te hará.
Actividades como paseos fuera de la ciudad, visitar viñedos, campos, parques y demás son esenciales a la hora de relajarse. Si disfrutas las montañas, todavía puedes ir a visitar la nieve, esquiar y aflojar tu mente. Las vacaciones, por más pequeñas que sean te llenaran el alma con memorias alegres y positivas.
Si disfrutas andar en bicicleta, o en patines esas son actividades que te destaparan y ayudaran a sentirte mejor. Siempre es divertido hacerlo con amigos que estén dispuestos a un poco de aventura. Organizar un grupo grande de gente que quiera hacerlo es una buena idea, que los puede llevar a conocer lugares que nunca creías que ibas a encontrar. Ríos abandonados, pasajes que están cerrados para la gente, bosques y demás lugares increíbles para conocer.
En fin, hay un sin fin de actividades para llevar a cabo si buscas caminos diferentes para mejorar tu salud mental y relajarte naturalmente. No olvides que la salud mental es tan importante como la física y que para tener una hay que tener la otra!
Minggu, 13 Juni 2010
Changing The Dreaded Commute
How do you change something that you have become so accustom to dreading and turn it into a positive experience and force in your life? Many of you would look at this ad think that it isn’t possible. But, in a few simple steps there is a way to turn your commute into a healthy and fulfilling experience.
So you ask, “What will I do about it?” The answer is complicated by what is realistic to do and what you are willing to do. Let's take distance. It's not realistic to think of how to shorten the distance if you continue to work for the same company and you are not willing or can't change companies. So, what to do? Actually, there are a number of things that can be done to make the travel more comfortable, less taxing and even beneficial! And this is true for anything that is making the commute difficult.
Attitude, or perception, is everything. Without a good attitude, everything is harder - paying the bills, cleaning the bathroom, even traveling to work. When we look for problems, we find them. I am suggesting that the first and primary change that will help bring a good commute is working on changing your attitude toward it. Remembering that you did choose to take this job that is X miles from home actually puts you back in control of the situation and takes you out of the victim role. If you're like most of us, you will feel empowered by using your right to choose.
A change in attitude might have you view your commute as something that you chose to undertake in order to allow you a pleasant home environment while still making an acceptable or good salary and advancing your career. Just so we are clear, the bad attitude might go something like this, "I hate driving all this way to work. I wish I could retire. What's the use of having a nice house when I don't have any time to spend in it?" Can you feel your shoulder muscles tighten just reading this? Alternatively, a good attitude might say, “Because I live this distance from work, I can live in this community, in a beautiful house of my choosing.” Just watch those muscles relax.
So you ask, “What will I do about it?” The answer is complicated by what is realistic to do and what you are willing to do. Let's take distance. It's not realistic to think of how to shorten the distance if you continue to work for the same company and you are not willing or can't change companies. So, what to do? Actually, there are a number of things that can be done to make the travel more comfortable, less taxing and even beneficial! And this is true for anything that is making the commute difficult.
Attitude, or perception, is everything. Without a good attitude, everything is harder - paying the bills, cleaning the bathroom, even traveling to work. When we look for problems, we find them. I am suggesting that the first and primary change that will help bring a good commute is working on changing your attitude toward it. Remembering that you did choose to take this job that is X miles from home actually puts you back in control of the situation and takes you out of the victim role. If you're like most of us, you will feel empowered by using your right to choose.
A change in attitude might have you view your commute as something that you chose to undertake in order to allow you a pleasant home environment while still making an acceptable or good salary and advancing your career. Just so we are clear, the bad attitude might go something like this, "I hate driving all this way to work. I wish I could retire. What's the use of having a nice house when I don't have any time to spend in it?" Can you feel your shoulder muscles tighten just reading this? Alternatively, a good attitude might say, “Because I live this distance from work, I can live in this community, in a beautiful house of my choosing.” Just watch those muscles relax.
Sabtu, 05 Juni 2010
Are you lonely in this crowd
This world is a crowd. We all live in a crowd. Our family, our friends, our business associates, our co-workers, and our community. All these form a crowd for us not in the dictionary sense, but let us say that we are always getting connected with someone, somewhere and are not living on an island alone. Even then, many of us feel lonely. Are you one of them?
Being lonely means - you are not able to share your deepest thoughts with anyone. You have issues at home. You have issues at office. You have issues with your relatives. You have issues with your friends. You are carrying so much of hurt and guilt inside yourself. You want to do many things, and at times, need help. You don't know, whom to ask? You feel lonely. You feel all alone. You feel that no one understands you. Despite all your trials, you fail to share and convey your feelings. If you talk about office issues with your wife/husband or your girlfriend/boyfriend, you are not able to get any good advice. They all have their suggestions and analysis of your situation, but that differs greatly from what you believe to be true. Therefore, you shut up after talking for a while with them.
You have friends with whom you try to talk about your problems. But they want to tell you theirs first. What is taken quite seriously by you, is considered ordinary by others. What do you do? Should you consult a psychiatrist? How will that help? Your character, and your thinking. Is something wrong with them? Who will tell you? Who will guide? You feel very disturbed at all the times. You want peace in your mind. You go out to walk alone, but your thoughts don't leave you anywhere. This agitation of mind is becoming intolerable. You feel lonely. You want to talk with someone who will understand your point of view and tell you what to do?
Are you one of such people? Do you feel lonely? Do you also feel that you have no one to share your deepest thoughts? Have you started feeling that everyone is selfish? No one has got time for you? No one wants to understand you? No one cares for you?
What can you do in such a situation? You may be feeling helpless, but something ought to be done. The first step in such agitation should be to avoid thinking for some time during the day. Involve yourself in some such activity that takes your mind away from itself. Any activity that will engross you completely. A good movie, a good novel, some magazines, a TV show, any activity that takes the mind away will give some peace. The next step would be to find out if anyone you know is also facing such a state? How does he/she do that? For this you will have to shift your attention from yourself to others. Begin listening to others. Ask them about their problems and listen. You may probably find that there are few others who are also in the same boat. Even if you are not religious, try to talk to God. Tell Him about what all goes on in your life and your mind. Ask Him to help you.
One who feels lonely in the crowd of people, must first raise his/her self-esteem. You must say - 'OK. Other than God, no one will understand what I am facing. That is OK. I will set some exciting goals for myself. I will try to achieve them. For me, my life is very important. I will live my life in such a way that I feel proud of it. I am a good person and I know that. I don't honestly care if others are not understanding me. I will try to understand their problems and help them. Rather than asking for help, let me start giving.'
Being lonely means - you are not able to share your deepest thoughts with anyone. You have issues at home. You have issues at office. You have issues with your relatives. You have issues with your friends. You are carrying so much of hurt and guilt inside yourself. You want to do many things, and at times, need help. You don't know, whom to ask? You feel lonely. You feel all alone. You feel that no one understands you. Despite all your trials, you fail to share and convey your feelings. If you talk about office issues with your wife/husband or your girlfriend/boyfriend, you are not able to get any good advice. They all have their suggestions and analysis of your situation, but that differs greatly from what you believe to be true. Therefore, you shut up after talking for a while with them.
You have friends with whom you try to talk about your problems. But they want to tell you theirs first. What is taken quite seriously by you, is considered ordinary by others. What do you do? Should you consult a psychiatrist? How will that help? Your character, and your thinking. Is something wrong with them? Who will tell you? Who will guide? You feel very disturbed at all the times. You want peace in your mind. You go out to walk alone, but your thoughts don't leave you anywhere. This agitation of mind is becoming intolerable. You feel lonely. You want to talk with someone who will understand your point of view and tell you what to do?
Are you one of such people? Do you feel lonely? Do you also feel that you have no one to share your deepest thoughts? Have you started feeling that everyone is selfish? No one has got time for you? No one wants to understand you? No one cares for you?
What can you do in such a situation? You may be feeling helpless, but something ought to be done. The first step in such agitation should be to avoid thinking for some time during the day. Involve yourself in some such activity that takes your mind away from itself. Any activity that will engross you completely. A good movie, a good novel, some magazines, a TV show, any activity that takes the mind away will give some peace. The next step would be to find out if anyone you know is also facing such a state? How does he/she do that? For this you will have to shift your attention from yourself to others. Begin listening to others. Ask them about their problems and listen. You may probably find that there are few others who are also in the same boat. Even if you are not religious, try to talk to God. Tell Him about what all goes on in your life and your mind. Ask Him to help you.
One who feels lonely in the crowd of people, must first raise his/her self-esteem. You must say - 'OK. Other than God, no one will understand what I am facing. That is OK. I will set some exciting goals for myself. I will try to achieve them. For me, my life is very important. I will live my life in such a way that I feel proud of it. I am a good person and I know that. I don't honestly care if others are not understanding me. I will try to understand their problems and help them. Rather than asking for help, let me start giving.'
Jumat, 28 Mei 2010
Can't Find Your One True Path?
So you're trying to figure out what you're going to be when you grow up. The problem is you're 38, have two grown children and a husband, not to mention two cats and a dog named Sirius Black Dixon. Oh, wait, sorry, I guess I got distracted and thought we were talking about me.
Back to you. You're physically "grown," but you haven't found your "one true path." You don’t know yet what you’re going to do with your life, and you’re feeling lost, confused, and worried.
Okay, let's start with the brutal truth here. If you have spent a lot of time, effort and creative energy looking for your one true path, I have bad news.
You probably don't have one.
You see, people who have one true paths know they do and they know what they are. This is not always true. Nothing is always true. But in general, people who “home in” on one career do it early and stick with it, or if they change careers, they do it in a reasoned, considered way.
People like us, who stumble and bumble and jumble from one thing to another to another to another, we don't have one true path. We have something. It’s just not one true path.
That's the good news. Because what we have, boy is it better.
We have multiple paths. They fit our multiple passions and our multiple talents and our multitasking personalities.
You and I? We can be whatever we want. For as long as we want. And then go do something else. We can be writers, and while we’re being writers, or when we’re done being writers, we can be teachers, or driving instructors. Now, admittedly, we’re not going to be astrophysicists or CEOs of major companies. But most of us don’t want that. What we can be is just about anything we want to be – and just about everything.
Don't you feel liberated?
Back to you. You're physically "grown," but you haven't found your "one true path." You don’t know yet what you’re going to do with your life, and you’re feeling lost, confused, and worried.
Okay, let's start with the brutal truth here. If you have spent a lot of time, effort and creative energy looking for your one true path, I have bad news.
You probably don't have one.
You see, people who have one true paths know they do and they know what they are. This is not always true. Nothing is always true. But in general, people who “home in” on one career do it early and stick with it, or if they change careers, they do it in a reasoned, considered way.
People like us, who stumble and bumble and jumble from one thing to another to another to another, we don't have one true path. We have something. It’s just not one true path.
That's the good news. Because what we have, boy is it better.
We have multiple paths. They fit our multiple passions and our multiple talents and our multitasking personalities.
You and I? We can be whatever we want. For as long as we want. And then go do something else. We can be writers, and while we’re being writers, or when we’re done being writers, we can be teachers, or driving instructors. Now, admittedly, we’re not going to be astrophysicists or CEOs of major companies. But most of us don’t want that. What we can be is just about anything we want to be – and just about everything.
Don't you feel liberated?
Sabtu, 27 Maret 2010
An Old Message For A New Age
Do you consider yourself a seeker? I have a feeling if you’re reading this article, you do.
If so, how exactly do you define it? What does it mean to you to be a “seeker?”
For me, the definition is constantly in process of clarifying itself, shifting in and out of focus as I ask, “What is it that I’m seeking?” There have been times – days, weeks, months, dare I say years – that it felt like wandering, lost and lonely, in search of a nameless, faceless something that seemed forever before me, but like a mirage, moving farther away the closer I drew. I could not grasp it, but I knew that when found it would make all the pieces of my life click together. Instant happiness and abundance, perfect peace and love. Most of all, everything would finally make sense. I’d know my purpose; I’d be brave enough to live it; I’d have no question that I couldn’t readily answer.
I can tell you, after so much time in the desert, I have found no such “something.” But that doesn’t mean the journey has not been fruitful.
In its finest moments the search has been a pilgrimage. One with the hue of holiness. And in those rare instances I know clearly what it is I seek. I’d like to share a story.
Several years ago my husband’s company sponsored a celebrity golf tournament. We attended, and I surprised myself at how star-struck I was! Especially since the stars were sports figures with whom I was barely familiar. Of all of them, the kindest was David Robinson of the San Antonio Spurs. Walking next to him, my head came only to his elbow, but I found him to be a gentle giant. Late in the day I, along with many others, asked for his autograph. When he gave me back the piece of paper it had on it his name and the letters and numbers “Matthew 6:33.” I overheard someone explain that he always places a verse from the Bible on his autographs – a different one for each person.
Well, I am someone who does not take things in vain – I believe that everything that happens is a perfect set-up for our growth and learning. So, I went home and looked up the verse. Upon reading it I had one of those “pilgrim” moments.
Matthew 6:33Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you as well.
The perfect message for a true seeker. But, of course, the question follows…what does it mean? I know that some will have a very clear-cut answer, but for me it has taken years of touching upon, moving away from, and coming back to the message…to find for myself the meaning. The day I received the verse I typed it up and put it in my meditation space, where I have looked upon it every day since. But lately it has begun to call for my attention more fervently, demanding from me a clearer understanding.
Ultimately, I have come to realize this one sentence as the most basic ingredient for living, and the word that has always stood out to me is “first.” Here, the order of things. In our society we are driven by the desire to obtain - material possessions, personal achievement, physical perfection…we strive first and we strive hard. But in this verse we are asked not to “do” first, but to seek. We are told where to begin.
I would like to go slowly, go back and explore this simple message, piece by piece…
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…
Is this the answer to the interminable question, “What do I seek?”? If so, then I ask, “What exactly is this ‘Kingdom of God’ that I am after?” My mind immediately travels to another verse – Luke 17:21, which says, “Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the Kingdom of God is within you.”
And so, it is not something beyond my grasp that constantly beckons me. It is not a place, or thing, a job or person, a philosophy, idea or fragment of knowledge. It is not to be found in books or buildings. That which is sought is the Divine reflection within my own being, that same reflection alive within yours and in everything else. The dwelling place of the holy lives no farther than the beat of our own hearts.
For those of us who have been on this quest for a while, this idea is nothing new. I realize that. We read books about getting to know and love and be ourselves. We take classes and workshops in the hopes of prying open the door to that illusive hallowed ground we’re after. At the end of every yoga class we say, “Namaste,” the Hindu recognition of the Divine spark within us all. I, like you, know where I’m supposed to look; I can think and speak about it; but it is the experience that I am after – that which cannot be spoken of or written about in whole. That which absolutely cannot be taught or bought. That which is secret and private and can only be known in the silent places of one’s own soul.
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…Seek first the Divine within…Seek first, your own truth.
And then we read on…
…and His Righteousness…
Now, here is a phrase for contemplation. For some it is instantly understood and revered; for others, it will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It is a loaded word; one that can scare with its asking.
If it is the knowing of our highest selves, a re-union with our own Divinity and, I suspect, with the greater Divinity of all life that we seek, and if we hold faith that the source of Divinity is indwelling, then how do we define this righteousness? I believe that the answer will lie in your own definition, image and knowing of God.
If so, how exactly do you define it? What does it mean to you to be a “seeker?”
For me, the definition is constantly in process of clarifying itself, shifting in and out of focus as I ask, “What is it that I’m seeking?” There have been times – days, weeks, months, dare I say years – that it felt like wandering, lost and lonely, in search of a nameless, faceless something that seemed forever before me, but like a mirage, moving farther away the closer I drew. I could not grasp it, but I knew that when found it would make all the pieces of my life click together. Instant happiness and abundance, perfect peace and love. Most of all, everything would finally make sense. I’d know my purpose; I’d be brave enough to live it; I’d have no question that I couldn’t readily answer.
I can tell you, after so much time in the desert, I have found no such “something.” But that doesn’t mean the journey has not been fruitful.
In its finest moments the search has been a pilgrimage. One with the hue of holiness. And in those rare instances I know clearly what it is I seek. I’d like to share a story.
Several years ago my husband’s company sponsored a celebrity golf tournament. We attended, and I surprised myself at how star-struck I was! Especially since the stars were sports figures with whom I was barely familiar. Of all of them, the kindest was David Robinson of the San Antonio Spurs. Walking next to him, my head came only to his elbow, but I found him to be a gentle giant. Late in the day I, along with many others, asked for his autograph. When he gave me back the piece of paper it had on it his name and the letters and numbers “Matthew 6:33.” I overheard someone explain that he always places a verse from the Bible on his autographs – a different one for each person.
Well, I am someone who does not take things in vain – I believe that everything that happens is a perfect set-up for our growth and learning. So, I went home and looked up the verse. Upon reading it I had one of those “pilgrim” moments.
Matthew 6:33Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you as well.
The perfect message for a true seeker. But, of course, the question follows…what does it mean? I know that some will have a very clear-cut answer, but for me it has taken years of touching upon, moving away from, and coming back to the message…to find for myself the meaning. The day I received the verse I typed it up and put it in my meditation space, where I have looked upon it every day since. But lately it has begun to call for my attention more fervently, demanding from me a clearer understanding.
Ultimately, I have come to realize this one sentence as the most basic ingredient for living, and the word that has always stood out to me is “first.” Here, the order of things. In our society we are driven by the desire to obtain - material possessions, personal achievement, physical perfection…we strive first and we strive hard. But in this verse we are asked not to “do” first, but to seek. We are told where to begin.
I would like to go slowly, go back and explore this simple message, piece by piece…
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…
Is this the answer to the interminable question, “What do I seek?”? If so, then I ask, “What exactly is this ‘Kingdom of God’ that I am after?” My mind immediately travels to another verse – Luke 17:21, which says, “Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the Kingdom of God is within you.”
And so, it is not something beyond my grasp that constantly beckons me. It is not a place, or thing, a job or person, a philosophy, idea or fragment of knowledge. It is not to be found in books or buildings. That which is sought is the Divine reflection within my own being, that same reflection alive within yours and in everything else. The dwelling place of the holy lives no farther than the beat of our own hearts.
For those of us who have been on this quest for a while, this idea is nothing new. I realize that. We read books about getting to know and love and be ourselves. We take classes and workshops in the hopes of prying open the door to that illusive hallowed ground we’re after. At the end of every yoga class we say, “Namaste,” the Hindu recognition of the Divine spark within us all. I, like you, know where I’m supposed to look; I can think and speak about it; but it is the experience that I am after – that which cannot be spoken of or written about in whole. That which absolutely cannot be taught or bought. That which is secret and private and can only be known in the silent places of one’s own soul.
Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…Seek first the Divine within…Seek first, your own truth.
And then we read on…
…and His Righteousness…
Now, here is a phrase for contemplation. For some it is instantly understood and revered; for others, it will make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. It is a loaded word; one that can scare with its asking.
If it is the knowing of our highest selves, a re-union with our own Divinity and, I suspect, with the greater Divinity of all life that we seek, and if we hold faith that the source of Divinity is indwelling, then how do we define this righteousness? I believe that the answer will lie in your own definition, image and knowing of God.
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