Food, Anxiety and Depression

In our current society, there are many factors that can cause or contribute to anxiety and depression. Certainly money and work problems, relationship and family issues, as well as illness and loss of loved ones are major contributors to anxiety and depression. Also, how we feel about ourselves and treat ourselves contribute greatly to how we feel. Even in the worst of times, if we are treating ourselves with compassion instead of self-judgment, we may be able to manage big challenges without anxiety or depression. In addition, being able to turn to an inner source of spiritual guidance and comfort is vital to weathering the hard times.

Food is another major factor that greatly affects how we feel. Most people don’t really notice that what they put into their bodies affects how they feel. They might know that if they “sugar out” they may crash emotionally, or if they drink too much they will feel hung over, but they are often unaware of how other foods may be creating anxiety and depression.

In the over 35 years that I’ve been a counselor, I have frequently encountered individuals whose anxiety and depression completely cleared up by tuning into how food was affecting them.

For example, Marnie discovered that dairy, wheat and sugar kept her up at night. She would wake up at around 3:00 in the morning with intense anxiety, and would be tired and depressed the next day. By experimenting around and cutting out different foods, she discovered that she slept fine when she stopped eating dairy, wheat and sugar. All her nighttime anxiety vanished and she was no longer tired and depressed.

Joel discovered that his sleeplessness and resulting depression was a direct result of caffeine from coffee, tea, chocolate and soft drinks. He had not realized how much caffeine he was actually consuming until I suggested that he cut out all caffeine and see what happened to his sleep. After a week of headaches from caffeine withdrawal, he was sleeping soundly for the first time in years and no longer felt depressed.

Adrienne discovered that her feelings of anxiety and depression, that had been with her most of her life, disappeared after she started eating only organic foods. Her system was so sensitive to the pesticides and food additives in non-organic food that she could not eat them without feeling anxious and depressed.

Alex, who periodically struggled with depression, inadvertently discovered that drinking raw milk from an organic dairy had a completely different effect on him than pasteurized milk. He was visiting Los Angeles and went into a health food store where he discovered that he could buy raw dairy products (which are outlawed in most other states). He found that the raw milk gave him more energy and elevated his mood. He also found that, while he was lactose intolerant with pasteurized milk, he had no problems with raw milk. Now he has his raw milk, cheese, and butter shipped frozen to Wyoming, and no longer struggles with depression.

Over and over again my clients, who have chosen to tune into how food was affecting them, have discovered how much their feelings were being affected by food. Many of my clients have learned that even a little sugar brings them down. Sugar consumes so many vital nutrients as the body attempts to process it that it can actually be considered a poison. How many people really take “Sugar Blues” seriously?

A hundred years ago, when people naturally ate non-processed and organically grown food, they were getting all the nutrients they needed. Now, most fruits, vegetables and grains are being grown on devitalized soil and over-processed on top of it. Cows and sheep that were once grass fed are being fed pesticide-sprayed grains and given hormones to fatten them up. As a result, much of our food not only contains little nutrients, but has many toxins as well. Without the vitamins, minerals, and many other factors that natural, organic and grass-fed food contains, many people suffer deficiencies that can cause anxiety and depression, as well a many other illnesses.

I recently found out that the fat of raw organic dairy products, especially butter, contains natural anti-inflammatory nutrients. I wonder if the huge rise in arthritis and other inflammatory conditions is related to the pasteurizing of milk. Any inflammatory condition can certainly contribute to anxiety and depression.

Food is certainly a major factor in the rise of anxiety, depression and illness. Only you can do something about this by learning how you are being affected by the foods you eat.

Learning To Love Yourself: Even Your Ugly Parts

Does that title make you cringe? It made me cringe when it popped into my head a few days ago.

We don't like to think about our "ugly parts," do we? By ugly parts of course I mean those aspects of ourselves we perceive to be less than perfect. For some it might be physical flaws, like acne, jiggly thighs or a persistent pot belly no matter how many hours we spend in the gym. For others there may be emotional issues like fears, phobias or low self-esteem.

One lesson I keep having to learn over and over in my own life is that the more I resist these aspects of myself, the more I hate them and push them away and try to ignore them, the bigger and more dominant they become. My resistance gives them power over me.

What if we stopped pushing away these aspects of ourselves? What if we (gasp!) accepted them, loved them, embraced them? What happens to them?

For most of my adult life, I've been a cat owner (or I should say, they owned me). Several of them were strays when I took them in, and they were in terrible shape. Covered in fleas, worm infestations, coat and eyes dull. Part of it was their physical health and lack of proper diet, which I remedied over the following weeks. But on a deeper level, these animals were starving for love and affection. I eased that too, by petting them, talking to them, conveying with and without words that they mattered, they were worthy of being loved deeply and fully. And they responded to that.

As the weeks went by, a light would begin to shine in their eyes. They would become more playful and seem happier and more content. Eventually, they no longer resembled the tattered creatures that had come through my door. They were glowing with life and vitality. Their coats became soft and silky, their eyes were bright and alert and they seemed genuinely at peace. Love Transforms. It's as simple as that. Anyone who has loved deeply or has been loved deeply can attest to that.

So how does that apply to our "ugly parts?" What would happen if we loved them and embraced them? Would they transform into something more beautiful? Maybe, maybe not. Those parts of ourselves may exist for a reason, and we may not be able to change them. However, if we can't transform those, maybe we can still transform our perception of them. They will no longer appear "ugly" to us. They simply become one small aspect of our total selves. These individual aspects are not good or bad, they just are.

Loathing certain parts of ourselves is like refusing to look at a rainbow because we don't like the color green. If you like the other colors, you can accept the green at least, right? A rainbow wouldn't be complete without the color green. If we are to accept ourselves, we need to accept ALL parts of ourselves. Some of them we may be able to improve over time, and others we might not. And that's okay.

The important thing is to become at peace with ourselves, rather than fighting these ridiculous battles day after day. We need to embrace ourselves, nurture ourselves and love ourselves. In doing so, we will be transformed, on one level or another.

Taking Charge of Your Life

How do you live your life? At cause or at effect? It is important to be aware of this distinction. It is the rare individual who always lives his or her life at cause; however, far too many of us live a large portion of our lives at effect - responding to the whims, desires or emotional states of others.

Being at cause means that you are decisive in creating what you want in life and take responsibility for whatever you achieve. You see the world as a place of opportunity and you move toward achieving what you desire. If things are not unfolding as you would like, you take action and explore other possibilities. Above all, you know you have choice in what you do and how you react to people and events.

If you are at effect, you may blame others or circumstances for your bad moods, for what you have not achieved or for the disarray of your life in general. You may feel powerless or depend on others in order for you to feel good about yourself or about life. You may think, "If only my spouse, my boss, my co-workers, my parents, my children understood me and helped me achieve my dreams or did what I wanted or what is best for me, then life would be great." If you wait and hope for things to be different or for others to provide you with results or happiness, you are at effect, or a victim of circumstances. And really, how satisfying is that? How satisfying do you think it is for others to be around you? Believing that someone else is responsible for your happiness or your different moods is very limiting and gives this person mystical powers over you, which can cause both you and the other person a great deal of anguish.

Being at cause means you have choices in your life - you can choose what is best for you while ensuring the choice is ecological for those around you, in your community and your society. That is, you consider the consequences of your actions on others, while not taking responsibility for their emotional well-being. Believing you are responsible for the emotional well-being of someone else places a heavy burden upon you and can cause a great deal of stress.

Those who live their lives at effect often see themselves as victims with no choices whatsoever. The truth is that they do have choices but have chosen not to take action. They are simply reactive to whatever is thrust upon them.

Emotions such as guilt, fear, anxiety and resentment are the result of being at effect. People at effect tend to blame others and do not take responsibility for their actions. Emotions such as these can wear heavily on a person's body and life, and can be the root cause of many physical and personal issues.

Do I always live my life at cause? No, not a chance; the great majority of the time I do live at cause. When I don't, one of the following usually comes to mind: ‘There is no failure only feedback' or ‘There are no unresourceful people, only unresourceful states'. Then using various personal growth techniques, such as those from NLP (neurolinguistic programming), I am able to explore other ways to achieve my outcomes or ask others for help, without being a victim to their answers.

Each morning when you get up, you can either ask yourself, "I wonder what my day will bring," or "What do I choose to bring to my day?" The choice is yours.

Increase Your Self Esteem With This Easy Method

Low Self Esteem is essentially a civil war. It is an internal battle between two belief systems that disagree. We often spot the struggle between these two in our behavior causing emotional torment. Another way to look at this is as a lack of integrity. Integrity means ‘wholeness’. It is when beliefs and actions are congruent. If they lack congruency then we end up in conflict and our pride in ourselves plummets. You may find that you see and feel very differently about yourself in different contexts. At home you maybe clear and confident about who you are, and yet when you get to your workplace you feel like you’re falling apart – as though you are a completely different person. Then again the reverse maybe true; at work you’re astounded by how confident and positive you are, but then in another context you a gibbering wreck. Each day we face situations that trigger our belief systems. If you find yourself in a situation (or live permanently in that state)you will be in a war zone - each belief is being challenged and therefore whatever you do will react strongly to it. The result? A lack of self pride and respect. Let me explain it this way. My brother heard a statistic that you are more likely to end up in prison that change you bank. So when his wife suggested changing banks he said "No. I don't want to go to prison". Okay it's a silly example but you see that the beliefs he had led to an irrational conclusion, creating inner civil war. He will now remain with a bank that over charges, gives bad customer service and has lousy interest rates based on a fear of going to prison!! Let me give you another really simple example:

Belief no1 – Mum’s should always patient.

Belief no2 – Mum’s are busy.

Belief no3 – Every child needs a good mum.

Belief no4 – ‘Bad’ parenting negatively affects children’s security.

Belief no5 – All insecure children fail to succeed and end up nowhere.

The above set of beliefs operates as a system. The likely outcome is that if through tiredness, circumstances or just plain old frustration a mum is impatient with their child; she will feel like a ‘bad’ mum and to her that means her child is doomed to fail. Whether your low esteem has been a part of you for as long as you can remember, whether it comes and goes, or has just arrived out of the blue. You will find that the key to addressing it is in your belief systems. Let me just clarify what I mean by your ‘belief system’. Beliefs are values and truths you hold to be true. A system is a group of independent but interrelated elements comprising a unified whole – a complex of methods or rules governing behavior. If you are going to beat low self esteem you have to face the lack of integrity (wholeness) in your beliefs and actions. Change one and you are on your way to a complete, balanced life full of pride and respect. (c) 2005 Steve Holloway

Your MIND and Its SUPER-Powers Hidden Within

The human mind is an Infinite wonder.

It has the power to transmute your Inner desires into their physical counterparts once focused.

What the mind can conceive, You can achieve, just as long as you have the inner Belief and Will Power to back it.

For example, take the case of where cancer patients were given 'Placebo Pills'.

These pills were just plain old pills that have absolutely NO healing capabilities what-so-ever.

So what, how did they get well?

The healing power came from their thoughts.

They were told that these pills contained the highest amounts of cancer-fighting ingredients which can effectively cure them in just a matter of months.

So the point here is, they naturally assumed in their mind that if they took this pill it would make them better and that their health will be restored.

Do you see how powerful your mind can be?

They simply registered it in their minds that these pills would cure them of their illnesses and in the process, the belief embedded within their subconscious mind became a reality.

This is just one example of the SUPER-Powers hidden within your mind.

So... now that I have your attention your probably asking yourself this question, "How can I use my mind to achieve my dreams?

Well, one of the most effective ways is to use the "as if" principle.

And what I mean by that is, act "as if" YOU are the person you want to be.

Act "as if" You are already possess whatever it is you have longed for.

Simply put, Think, Act and Feel like you've already accomplished what you have dreamed about all your life.

This principle is a very Powerful principle if you simply believe.

And you'll be much closer to your goal if you're constantly intact with your objective(s).

It's okay to be obsessed with your dreams.

It doesn't mean that if you want to be Superman you'll be able to fly out of a window and into outer space.

That would be Crazy!

I'm simply saying, "Do what needs to be done".

Take ACTION on your dreams.

Let your visions Encourage and Motivate you.

The problem with people in todays world is that they are too pre-occupied with Worries, Anxieties and Negative Emotions.

As a result of this, people are adversely affecting their state of health.

White lies unfortunately have become prevalent nowadays in order to ease the burdens or to persuade others to do things that they thought are unattainable.

A famous person once said, "Whenever you think you can or you can't, you're right!"

If you think you are poor, then you are; unless you properly condition your thoughts to a 'Positive Mindset'.

I know it's hard to think "Rich" if your environment is not conducive to such way of thinking.

Use your imagination and 'Visualize' in your head that your house is a mansion and your old car is a Porsche,...

Well, I think you get the picture.

There is absolutely NO limit to what the mind can achieve but You have to combine Belief, Will Power, and ACTION with positive thinking in order to achieve your inner desires.

The Difference Between Self-Confidence And Arrogance

Self-confidence is the innate quality of trusting your own abilities and instincts. Self-confident people often successful, attentive, and flexible, and can deal with most any life situation. A self-confident person realizes what his or her potential is and works to realize it. Those that are around a self-confident person are aware of his or her character by his or her actions. People that are self-confident demonstrate it by their actions, and not through their words alone. However, if you are always trying to impress your friends, family, or coworkers by overtly asserting your self-confidence, then you are likely arrogant. There is a big difference between the two characteristics, but the line between them is not clearly defined. Often, people who are usually highly self-confident cross the line into arrogance and don’t even know it.

If your family, friends, or coworkers find you arrogant, they will not enjoy being around you. It is more important to impress individuals through actions than through words. The maxim “actions speak louder than words” is very true. We are all more likely to trust someone who gets the job done rather than someone who simply boasts about doing it. An arrogant person is not seen as trustworthy. How do the people in your life see you?

If you think that you are arrogant instead self-confident, it is time to rethink approach. Instead of bragging about your own personal triumphs, try to bring attention to someone else’s achievement. Take part in group and team projects and work with others, not against them. Think before you speak, and do not overwhelm people with negative comments or critiques or speak highly of yourself.

That is where you start transforming your arrogance into self-confidence. Think of self-confidence as having the strength and ability to complete a goal and arrogance as boasting to everyone how well you will complete it. Make a change by taking on tasks that you have not successfully completed before. This will help to unleash your self-confidence, and develop it further. Your self-confidence will help you to start and finish this project without any self-doubt. It is important to spend more time working on your goals than boasting about your imagined achievements.

Living with self-confidence rather than arrogance provides you with the opportunity to live your life in a new way. It is a time to make amends with those you might have insulted or offended, and start brand new relationships. Having and using you self-confidence, and not arrogance, will let you achieve any goals that you set your mind to.

Building your child's self esteem

Copyright 2006 Emmanuel Segui

It's one of those things that all parents want to provide for their children and one of those things that many feel they do not know how to do: raise a self-confident child. Self-esteem oftentimes seems like a fragile, distant thing that we all know what it is but don't know how to develop. Your self-esteem is a compilation of how you feel about yourself. It encompasses everything from your confidence in relationships, to your body image, to your work life. So how do you foster this "thing" in your children?

We teach our children "honesty is the best policy." This applies to how we deal with our children as much as it does expecting them to be honest with us. When it comes to your child's self-esteem, he or she will know or be able to sense if you are not being honest. For example, if art is not your child's top skill, don't say that his or her drawing is the best you've ever seen. Your child will know it's not, and will not believe you the next time you say something meant to be positive, no matter how honest it is. Instead, tell your child something genuine about the piece or the effort. Make non-judgmental statements such as, "You really used your imagination in making the flowers many different colors." This simply states your observation, rather than a false statement.

Also, understand that your child and your child's behavior are two separate things. This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe. However, when you discipline your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad, because of who he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect your child's self-esteem. Using "I" statements helps with this. Say something like, "I don't like it when you leave your toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior, rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.

Let your child make some decisions. Children are in a situation where everyone else is constantly telling them what to do, when to do it, where to go, and more. When children are allowed to make some choices, even if it's something small, they learn to be self-reliant. You don't want your children growing up feeling dependent on others for direction. Simple choices such as what to wear (you can offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your child's being able to think independently.

Encourage your children to try new things. While there's nothing wrong with encouraging your child's talents--this will help build self-confidence as well--it's also important that your children learn to experiment. Trying new things helps everyone overcome fears of the unknown and helps us learn to deal with success and failure.

If a child never learns to try new things, this can create problems later in life.

After all, most people do not live in world where everything is the same day after day. Life is constantly changing, whether it's a move to a new city or starting a new career. If children are experienced at trying new things, even if small, life's bigger transitions will be much easier--such as leaving for college and starting a career.

These are, of course, only a few things you can do to help develop your child's self-confidence. The important thing to remember is that it is an ongoing process. The little things do add up, even if they seem unimportant. This can be helpful to keep in mind, particularly when something as important as developing your child's self esteem feels like a monumental task. It doesn't have to be! Taking time to recognize your child for the wonderful person he or she is, combined with a few techniques and consistency will go a long way toward raising a healthy, confident adult.

Answering the Time-Old Question – What is Self Image?

Self image has been scrutinized by psychologists and philosophers alike for centuries. Even though there are many arguments as to what self image is exactly, people will agree that self image has much to do with how a person feels about him/herself. Some would say that self image means how a person views himself in the world. What a person does everyday - their job, how they treat others, how attractive they are to others - hinges on their self image. Some people have positive perceptions of themselves, while others do not. It is believed that people who have positive perceptions of themselves have been told they are good, or useful. Those who are constantly told they aren’t good or useful, have negative perceptions of themselves.

This leads to another definition of self image which is how others view a person. If others do not enjoy a person’s company, the person may develop a poor self image. If other people do not find a person attract, the person may suffer from poor self image. People often put too much emphasis on what others think about them. It is important to remember that one’s self image will change throughout their lifetime. They begin to rely less on what others think about them as they mature and find hobbies and social groups that accept them. Their perception changes as they become more educated. Learning a skill or learning more about the world can have a positive impact on a person’s self esteem.

Sometimes, though, a person needs counseling in order to develop a positive self image. This is very common among women and teenagers. Fashion magazines show women that are perfect when in reality they are not. Some women feel they cannot live up to these expectations and become depressed. Teenagers feel the same way when they compare themselves to others in their peer group. Unrealistic comparisons like these are dangerous. They can lead to eating disorders, disruptive behavior, and eventually drug or alcohol abuse. Talking with a therapist can sometimes make a person realize that they do not have to compare themselves to others. Their self image improves and they can lead happy lives.

Self image needs to be nurtured. Everyone feels less than perfect sometimes. But most people recover and go on with their lives. But some people cannot let go of these bad feelings as easily. Their self image is so unrealistic, they make themselves sick and need professional help and advice in order to gain the strength needed to get past those bead feelings.