Copyright 2006 Marshall House
In my view, each day is an opportunity to make life anew. I often help people to create something new when I hear a story repeated again and again.
Even if I am hearing a story for the first time, I can feel the resonance of an oft-repeated saga. I start to yawn as I hear or see the needle move along the groove. Truthfully, whether this is a wonderful story or a not-wonderful story, I can feel or hear or see the pattern. My awareness is heightened when the oft-repeated story recounts a situation the person does not wish to recreate.
Now, let me quickly say that I have experienced some incredibly engaging story tellers who do not bore me with their repeated stories. When the story teller is engaged with the creation of the story and sees it as new, the listener is more easily engaged. The master story teller lives a story as if it is being told for the very first time, created right now in this moment. Sometimes the master story teller plays with the listener or listeners in a magical in-the-moment way. So, there is story telling and there is story telling.
Perhaps it is risky to go on record saying that I am bored by the repetition of a story. Clients who work with me in one-on-one sessions know that I do not encourage their telling disempowering stories. Sometimes they just need to tell it one more time to someone who is able to listen deeply.
When a caring person listens deeply to a disempowering story, the pain can dissipate for the speaker. When I say "listens deeply" I refer to a skill that is rarely practiced. I mean that the listener is truly with the speaker, not sympathizing and not being reminded of another, similar situation. And certainly not giving advice or telling his or her own story! I mean the deep listener listens attentively in as many ways as possible, fully present, fully in the moment.
When the deep listener gets sucked into the drama, listening is no longer happening. The listener now colludes in creating more of the same rather than in helping the person to accept that life is created anew in each moment. The future is created by the present.
Whatever you give your attention to expands. Your focus of attention is your key to happiness. You may forget this dynamic from time to time. That is one of the values of having a listener who cares enough to interrupt a destructive pattern. You argue for limitations when you try to prove how "bad it is" by retelling a disempowering story. It is a pattern worthy of interrupting.
It is the rut-producing story-telling which creates more unwanted situations that inspires me to say: "Stop! Make it new!" Or, "Can you say that in a way you have not said that before?"
Every single moment of your life represents an opportunity for a new beginning. Every in-breath begins life anew; every out-breath releases the past. Every minute you are different from the minute before, with new cells, new energy, new life. Future experiences are not created by past experience, but by your current thoughts and feelings about those experiences.
Tampilkan postingan dengan label happiness. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label happiness. Tampilkan semua postingan
Kamis, 15 Desember 2011
Selasa, 26 April 2011
How to Plan the Perfect Spring Break Family Vacation
From time to time everyone needs some time away from their life. It does not matter if you are 10 years old and in 5th grade or 35 years old and working a full time job, to maintain good mental health you have to take the occasional vacation.
Some time around the beginning of April most public and private schools have Spring Break from School which is a great time to plan a vacation.
Most vacations when you have children become about them, and you wind up at places like Disney land or some other child orientated vacation spot, but what about you?
Las Vegas used to be known as an adult getaway where what happens there stays there. This is no longer the case. Over the past 15 years, Las Vegas realized that more money can be made from a family orientated city rater then just from gambling.
Many casinos started adding attractions for children like go carts and other amusements, and many other activities aimed at giving a child a good time, but the casinos also opened up day care centers, so parents can get some time to enjoy themselves as well.
I know when I would go to Disney World with my kids after the 2nd or 3rd day I was looking forward to getting back to work.
For the last several years we have been going to Las Vegas for our family Vacations over spring break and the kids enjoy it. They get to go on roller coasters, swim, play video games, watch movie the list really goes on and on for all the things they can do, and I get to spend a few hours ever day with my wife in the spa getting a message, eating in nice restaurants and playing some Blackjack in the casinos.
Since we started doing this I have seen my family grow closer. My wife noticed that I am in a better mood for the rest of the year after we get back from vacation. I am enjoying my job more and all in all life is just better.
Putting together a Los Vegas vacation is very simple to do. You can go to a travel agent, or do it yourself online. I have always preferred to go to a travel agent and just let them do it, but if you are trying to save money you can get some good deals online that a travel agent can't or won't offer you.
If you choose to do it yourself, it is easy to do. You can go to your computer and do a search for Las Vegas. You will see every casinos and hotel listed and you can go thru them one at a time and see what they offer for you and your family to do.
You will also see everything the city and surrounding areas have to offer, and there really are tons of fun things for everyone in Las Vegas.
I hope to see you and your family there.
Some time around the beginning of April most public and private schools have Spring Break from School which is a great time to plan a vacation.
Most vacations when you have children become about them, and you wind up at places like Disney land or some other child orientated vacation spot, but what about you?
Las Vegas used to be known as an adult getaway where what happens there stays there. This is no longer the case. Over the past 15 years, Las Vegas realized that more money can be made from a family orientated city rater then just from gambling.
Many casinos started adding attractions for children like go carts and other amusements, and many other activities aimed at giving a child a good time, but the casinos also opened up day care centers, so parents can get some time to enjoy themselves as well.
I know when I would go to Disney World with my kids after the 2nd or 3rd day I was looking forward to getting back to work.
For the last several years we have been going to Las Vegas for our family Vacations over spring break and the kids enjoy it. They get to go on roller coasters, swim, play video games, watch movie the list really goes on and on for all the things they can do, and I get to spend a few hours ever day with my wife in the spa getting a message, eating in nice restaurants and playing some Blackjack in the casinos.
Since we started doing this I have seen my family grow closer. My wife noticed that I am in a better mood for the rest of the year after we get back from vacation. I am enjoying my job more and all in all life is just better.
Putting together a Los Vegas vacation is very simple to do. You can go to a travel agent, or do it yourself online. I have always preferred to go to a travel agent and just let them do it, but if you are trying to save money you can get some good deals online that a travel agent can't or won't offer you.
If you choose to do it yourself, it is easy to do. You can go to your computer and do a search for Las Vegas. You will see every casinos and hotel listed and you can go thru them one at a time and see what they offer for you and your family to do.
You will also see everything the city and surrounding areas have to offer, and there really are tons of fun things for everyone in Las Vegas.
I hope to see you and your family there.
Rabu, 30 Maret 2011
Las Vacaciones son la Mejor Solución Para Relajarte
Si te sientes un poco estresado con el trabajo, con tu pareja o con la familia y necesitas tomar decisiones, ver a los problemas con otra perspectiva siempre ayuda. Aquí te recomiendo tomar unas pequeñas vacaciones en donde tu decidas.
Puede ser el lugar mas inesperado el que te puede hacer mejor. Debes buscar en diferentes sitios que lugares están disponibles por el fin de semana o una semana entera (si te la puedes tomar).
Los lugares mas ideales deben ir de acuerdo a tu gusto. Por ejemplo si disfrutas del sol algún lugar de veraneo con el mar y la playa van a ser perfectos. Si no te gusta la playa, busca algún lugar en las montañas tranquilo que te traiga paz y serenidad.
No necesitas gastar mucho dinero para tener un buen resultado, ya que solo unos días es suficiente sin tener que perder mucho tiempo en el viaje de ida y vuelta. Puedes optar de ir en auto que es más económico o en avión depende de los precios.
Si vives en Europa, un fin de semana en Barcelona no te costara demasiado y sin duda te abrirá la mente y dejara atrás los problemas que parecían tan grandes que no te dejaban pensar.
Tomarte unas vacaciones es algo positivo que solo traerá buenos resultados. Lo sitios desde ya dependen de tu poder económico. Si tu disposición no tiene limites, St Tropez en la costa de Francia es un lugar vacacional ideal. Fiestas desde las 3 de la tarde en la playa, mercado en el centro del pueblo, las playas mas increíbles y mucho mas.
Si tu poder adquisitivo es un poco limitado, puedes ir a palma de Mallorca en España, a Ibiza o elegir entre muchos de los puertos de la zona.
Si vives en Sudamérica o centro América, uno de mis lugares favoritos es Punta del Este en Uruguay. Aunque un poco caro, siempre saldrás de ahí con una sonrisa. Las playas más inolvidables, junto con los bares de moda, y actividades entretenidas las 24 horas del día te esperan ahí.
Si no optas por ir a Punta del Este, Brasil es otro de los lugares mas increíbles. Ahí puedes ir a Buzios disfrutar de los camarones con palito, las playas los cocos, los helados, y mucho más.
En Argentina también puedes encontrar lugares vacacionales, como Miramar, Pinamar, Mar del Plata, y otros.
Si buscas lugares sin playa durante el invierno puedes ir a Bariloche, Villa La angostura, Las Leñas en donde puedes esquiar.
Sin duda, cualquier lugar que elijas un poco alejado de tu trabajo, o deberes diarios te ayudara a relajarte y pensar mas tranquilamente como solucionar o seguir adelante en tus decisiones.
Puede ser el lugar mas inesperado el que te puede hacer mejor. Debes buscar en diferentes sitios que lugares están disponibles por el fin de semana o una semana entera (si te la puedes tomar).
Los lugares mas ideales deben ir de acuerdo a tu gusto. Por ejemplo si disfrutas del sol algún lugar de veraneo con el mar y la playa van a ser perfectos. Si no te gusta la playa, busca algún lugar en las montañas tranquilo que te traiga paz y serenidad.
No necesitas gastar mucho dinero para tener un buen resultado, ya que solo unos días es suficiente sin tener que perder mucho tiempo en el viaje de ida y vuelta. Puedes optar de ir en auto que es más económico o en avión depende de los precios.
Si vives en Europa, un fin de semana en Barcelona no te costara demasiado y sin duda te abrirá la mente y dejara atrás los problemas que parecían tan grandes que no te dejaban pensar.
Tomarte unas vacaciones es algo positivo que solo traerá buenos resultados. Lo sitios desde ya dependen de tu poder económico. Si tu disposición no tiene limites, St Tropez en la costa de Francia es un lugar vacacional ideal. Fiestas desde las 3 de la tarde en la playa, mercado en el centro del pueblo, las playas mas increíbles y mucho mas.
Si tu poder adquisitivo es un poco limitado, puedes ir a palma de Mallorca en España, a Ibiza o elegir entre muchos de los puertos de la zona.
Si vives en Sudamérica o centro América, uno de mis lugares favoritos es Punta del Este en Uruguay. Aunque un poco caro, siempre saldrás de ahí con una sonrisa. Las playas más inolvidables, junto con los bares de moda, y actividades entretenidas las 24 horas del día te esperan ahí.
Si no optas por ir a Punta del Este, Brasil es otro de los lugares mas increíbles. Ahí puedes ir a Buzios disfrutar de los camarones con palito, las playas los cocos, los helados, y mucho más.
En Argentina también puedes encontrar lugares vacacionales, como Miramar, Pinamar, Mar del Plata, y otros.
Si buscas lugares sin playa durante el invierno puedes ir a Bariloche, Villa La angostura, Las Leñas en donde puedes esquiar.
Sin duda, cualquier lugar que elijas un poco alejado de tu trabajo, o deberes diarios te ayudara a relajarte y pensar mas tranquilamente como solucionar o seguir adelante en tus decisiones.
Minggu, 13 Maret 2011
Transformation Old to New or New to Old
Copyright 2006 Marshall House
I like to think of transformation as a big word for big change. Of course, everything in life is always changing, always transforming. Without change, there is no life. Even if something seems stationary or stuck, it is still moving or evolving. Sometimes you are an instrument of the change, sometimes you are a witness of the change. Change happens in you, around you, through you, and as you.
In my view, the transformation that happens in small increments is far more deep and lasting than the transformation that happens in quantum leaps. Quantum leaps may seem dramatic and powerful, and can certainly get your attention. However, I find that those events that are called "quantum leaps" are either the culmination of a lot of little changes or the beginning step in a series of steps that can facilitate deep and lasting change.
I think sometimes people get confused about what is old and what is new. I know sometimes I do. Here is one view I hold about oldness and newness: I often label something new which is, in truth, very old or original or foundational. For example, the new paradigm of business is the application of what I consider to be old values that have been lost in the maze of competition, greed, pressures, and false beliefs. Allowing spiritual principles to be expressed more openly is new for many groups of persons, yet is an ancient idea.
In putting together this article, I considered a number of dichotomies besides new/old that might convey what I want to say; for example, I considered, familiar/unfamiliar, obsolete/recent, outgoing/incoming, preferred/not-preferred, old (or current) paradigm/new paradigm, and it/not it. I chose new/old because that dichotomy conveys a sense of movement through time. The change from old to new (or new to old) is usually not so much a matter of age, but a matter of movement or transformation. The key is a change in form. Energy moves from one form through or to another (trans ' form ' action).
No matter what dichotomy you might choose, I strongly recommend that you not make one polarity right and other wrong, nor one bad and the other good. Right/wrong and good/bad dichotomies are filled with human judgments that tend to keep you stuck in false beliefs, re-creating dynamics you do not like or prefer. Instead of rejecting either the new or the old, honor each so that its energy (current) can be available for your present experiences. Transformation requires movement.
I like to think of transformation as a big word for big change. Of course, everything in life is always changing, always transforming. Without change, there is no life. Even if something seems stationary or stuck, it is still moving or evolving. Sometimes you are an instrument of the change, sometimes you are a witness of the change. Change happens in you, around you, through you, and as you.
In my view, the transformation that happens in small increments is far more deep and lasting than the transformation that happens in quantum leaps. Quantum leaps may seem dramatic and powerful, and can certainly get your attention. However, I find that those events that are called "quantum leaps" are either the culmination of a lot of little changes or the beginning step in a series of steps that can facilitate deep and lasting change.
I think sometimes people get confused about what is old and what is new. I know sometimes I do. Here is one view I hold about oldness and newness: I often label something new which is, in truth, very old or original or foundational. For example, the new paradigm of business is the application of what I consider to be old values that have been lost in the maze of competition, greed, pressures, and false beliefs. Allowing spiritual principles to be expressed more openly is new for many groups of persons, yet is an ancient idea.
In putting together this article, I considered a number of dichotomies besides new/old that might convey what I want to say; for example, I considered, familiar/unfamiliar, obsolete/recent, outgoing/incoming, preferred/not-preferred, old (or current) paradigm/new paradigm, and it/not it. I chose new/old because that dichotomy conveys a sense of movement through time. The change from old to new (or new to old) is usually not so much a matter of age, but a matter of movement or transformation. The key is a change in form. Energy moves from one form through or to another (trans ' form ' action).
No matter what dichotomy you might choose, I strongly recommend that you not make one polarity right and other wrong, nor one bad and the other good. Right/wrong and good/bad dichotomies are filled with human judgments that tend to keep you stuck in false beliefs, re-creating dynamics you do not like or prefer. Instead of rejecting either the new or the old, honor each so that its energy (current) can be available for your present experiences. Transformation requires movement.
Jumat, 08 Oktober 2010
Five Thoughts About Effective Communication
Communicating effectively can sometimes be difficult to do. So here are some thoughts, based on borrowed wisdom, on how to communicate clearly – and make a better connection with the other person too.
“To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences.” ~ John Henry Patterson
Keep it simple and don’t use jargon. Adjust your style according to who you are communicating with. Take responsibility by checking frequently that the other person understands the message you are trying to convey – don’t assume that your message is always clear.
“People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves.” ~ Dale Carnegie
Find out about the other person. Focus on the other person – their needs, their wants, their situation. Build rapport instead of barriers. Show respect for them and for their views.
“One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other's stories.” ~ Rebecca Falls
Giving someone space in which to talk and allowing them to follow through their ideas without fear of interruption is a most valuable gift. Listen. And switch off your mobile phone!
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~ Stephen Covey
Be in the moment and give the speaker your full attention. Say “what else do you need to tell me about this?” Summarise key points that show you have been listening actively and ask questions that will help clarify your understanding of the issue.
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." ~ Mother Teresa
Be nice! Acknowledge someone’s efforts and achievements, praise them, pay them a sincere compliment.
“To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences.” ~ John Henry Patterson
Keep it simple and don’t use jargon. Adjust your style according to who you are communicating with. Take responsibility by checking frequently that the other person understands the message you are trying to convey – don’t assume that your message is always clear.
“People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves.” ~ Dale Carnegie
Find out about the other person. Focus on the other person – their needs, their wants, their situation. Build rapport instead of barriers. Show respect for them and for their views.
“One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other's stories.” ~ Rebecca Falls
Giving someone space in which to talk and allowing them to follow through their ideas without fear of interruption is a most valuable gift. Listen. And switch off your mobile phone!
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~ Stephen Covey
Be in the moment and give the speaker your full attention. Say “what else do you need to tell me about this?” Summarise key points that show you have been listening actively and ask questions that will help clarify your understanding of the issue.
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." ~ Mother Teresa
Be nice! Acknowledge someone’s efforts and achievements, praise them, pay them a sincere compliment.
Kamis, 19 Agustus 2010
Do You Have A Life Plan?
Title:
Do You Have A Life Plan?
Word Count:
720
Summary:
During the course of our daily lives, we make plans. We make plans for dinner, for trips to the grocery store, and for cleaning our house. We also make long-term plans for our education, our finances, our businesses, and our vacations. However despite all the planning that we do very few of us actually make a life plan and this is a critical oversight as a life plan would encompass all those areas as well as our self development, personal relationships and happiness.
During the course of our daily lives, we make plans. We make plans for dinner, for trips to the grocery store, and for cleaning our house. We also make long-term plans for our education, our finances, our businesses, and our vacations. However despite all the planning that we do very few of us actually make a life plan and this is a critical oversight as a life plan would encompass all those areas as well as our self development, personal relationships and happiness.
We all have the capacity for happiness and success in every area of our lives including our personal development, our relationships, and our professional lives, but happiness and success do not just happen. We must actively seek them out and set in motion plans and actions that will make them not only possible but probable.
That is why you need a life plan, but actually creating one takes time and thought -- something so many of us have little to spare. However don't begrudge the time you could spend on a life plan because in the end that time is a very good investment that will help you save time and stress once you have your life plan fully developed. And isn't anything that can help you achieve happiness and success a worthwhile investment of your time and energy?
Where You Are Now
Before you can begin crafting your life plan you must evaluate your current status. Reflect on the realities of your life including your commitments, finances, and dreams. What about your life makes you happy and what makes you unhappy?
Where are you now in terms of work, recreation, relationships, finances, and anything else you consider important. For example, I consider it important that my life contributes to the greater good and I have friends who consider the long-term impact of their life is an important measure.
Rate each of these areas with a letter grade with "A" of course being the highest score for the best possible life. Then calculate your overall life grade. Obviously if you have a 4.0 then your life is on track, but anything less means there are some areas you will need to work on.
It is important to identify the areas of your life that you consider successful or at least on track to success as well as the areas that you would like to improve.
Let Your Dreams Out
A big part of creating your life plan is letting yourself dream of what your ideal life would include in all the key areas you identified above (career, relationships, etc.).
Don't worry about realities or impossibilities. Just give your heart and mind free reign to picture everything you wish your life could be in terms of relationships and family; profession and career; finances and retirement; and how you'd like to spend your time (travel, hobbies, etc.).
If money and other considerations were not a factor what would you do with your time and your life? What gets you really excited? What have you always wanted? What do you love to do (professionally or personally).
Step Back Into Reality
Note the abilities, experience and strengths you already possess that can help you live your ideal life.
Make a list of the accomplishments you are most proud of in your professional and personal life. Can any of these help you achieve your idea life?
Evaluate your work style and habits. Do you work better alone, in a group, or as a manager? What time of day is your peak performance? How many hours a day or week are you capable of working at a high level of performance?
Now Make Your Plan
Once you have created a vision of your dream life and evaluated your strengths and weaknesses then you are better able to create a plan that will help you achieve your ideal life.
Perhaps your dream is to own your business but currently you don't have any experience with management So find a way to gain that experience through your professional work or in a volunteer capacity.
Now that you know where you want your life to go and you know how far along that path you have progressed then it is simply a matter of working toward your goal to achieve that life of happiness and success you desire.
Do You Have A Life Plan?
Word Count:
720
Summary:
During the course of our daily lives, we make plans. We make plans for dinner, for trips to the grocery store, and for cleaning our house. We also make long-term plans for our education, our finances, our businesses, and our vacations. However despite all the planning that we do very few of us actually make a life plan and this is a critical oversight as a life plan would encompass all those areas as well as our self development, personal relationships and happiness.
During the course of our daily lives, we make plans. We make plans for dinner, for trips to the grocery store, and for cleaning our house. We also make long-term plans for our education, our finances, our businesses, and our vacations. However despite all the planning that we do very few of us actually make a life plan and this is a critical oversight as a life plan would encompass all those areas as well as our self development, personal relationships and happiness.
We all have the capacity for happiness and success in every area of our lives including our personal development, our relationships, and our professional lives, but happiness and success do not just happen. We must actively seek them out and set in motion plans and actions that will make them not only possible but probable.
That is why you need a life plan, but actually creating one takes time and thought -- something so many of us have little to spare. However don't begrudge the time you could spend on a life plan because in the end that time is a very good investment that will help you save time and stress once you have your life plan fully developed. And isn't anything that can help you achieve happiness and success a worthwhile investment of your time and energy?
Where You Are Now
Before you can begin crafting your life plan you must evaluate your current status. Reflect on the realities of your life including your commitments, finances, and dreams. What about your life makes you happy and what makes you unhappy?
Where are you now in terms of work, recreation, relationships, finances, and anything else you consider important. For example, I consider it important that my life contributes to the greater good and I have friends who consider the long-term impact of their life is an important measure.
Rate each of these areas with a letter grade with "A" of course being the highest score for the best possible life. Then calculate your overall life grade. Obviously if you have a 4.0 then your life is on track, but anything less means there are some areas you will need to work on.
It is important to identify the areas of your life that you consider successful or at least on track to success as well as the areas that you would like to improve.
Let Your Dreams Out
A big part of creating your life plan is letting yourself dream of what your ideal life would include in all the key areas you identified above (career, relationships, etc.).
Don't worry about realities or impossibilities. Just give your heart and mind free reign to picture everything you wish your life could be in terms of relationships and family; profession and career; finances and retirement; and how you'd like to spend your time (travel, hobbies, etc.).
If money and other considerations were not a factor what would you do with your time and your life? What gets you really excited? What have you always wanted? What do you love to do (professionally or personally).
Step Back Into Reality
Note the abilities, experience and strengths you already possess that can help you live your ideal life.
Make a list of the accomplishments you are most proud of in your professional and personal life. Can any of these help you achieve your idea life?
Evaluate your work style and habits. Do you work better alone, in a group, or as a manager? What time of day is your peak performance? How many hours a day or week are you capable of working at a high level of performance?
Now Make Your Plan
Once you have created a vision of your dream life and evaluated your strengths and weaknesses then you are better able to create a plan that will help you achieve your ideal life.
Perhaps your dream is to own your business but currently you don't have any experience with management So find a way to gain that experience through your professional work or in a volunteer capacity.
Now that you know where you want your life to go and you know how far along that path you have progressed then it is simply a matter of working toward your goal to achieve that life of happiness and success you desire.
Sabtu, 07 Agustus 2010
Death changes perspective of living
We live and we die. But while living, most of us don't keep the thought of death in mind. A person suffering from an incurable disease may keep it in his/her mind, but not a normal person suffering from ordinary ailments. For a very big population on the earth, life is perpetual. That is how they think and live. Is this a right attitude? To a certain extent this is a right attitude and at times, wrong. Let us analyze further.
We not only live our life thinking that we will not die, but we also behave with others as if they will also not die. Let me give you an example. Let us talk about a friend. He/she does something or speaks something. We are deeply hurt. We feel bad, and we begin blaming the other person for many things. We don't think of forgiving and carrying on. Why? Suppose that friend of ours meets his/her death after a week. What will be our reaction? We will go in a remorseful mood and blame ourselves. The bad feelings that we had for that person loses all the meaning. That person is no more and no critical analysis or one-upmanship will help now. The situation has changed totally.
Accidents occur everyday. Anyone of us may die at any moment. No one knows about the time of his/her death. We all believe that we will live to a ripe old age and will die only after that. Sometimes, we don't even think of that. How about changing our perspective? How about keeping the thought in our mind at all times that - the person I am hating so much now, or I am arguing with so much now, may even die after an hour by meeting with some freak accident. This may change our perspective about all our relationships. Is this not true? It will change our thoughts about ourselves also. We will all begin thinking more of today and worry less about tomorrow.
Life is precious. Every life is very precious. Every heart is precious. Why hurt anyone including your ownself? Forgive everyone. Begin with yourself. Let death change our perspective.
We not only live our life thinking that we will not die, but we also behave with others as if they will also not die. Let me give you an example. Let us talk about a friend. He/she does something or speaks something. We are deeply hurt. We feel bad, and we begin blaming the other person for many things. We don't think of forgiving and carrying on. Why? Suppose that friend of ours meets his/her death after a week. What will be our reaction? We will go in a remorseful mood and blame ourselves. The bad feelings that we had for that person loses all the meaning. That person is no more and no critical analysis or one-upmanship will help now. The situation has changed totally.
Accidents occur everyday. Anyone of us may die at any moment. No one knows about the time of his/her death. We all believe that we will live to a ripe old age and will die only after that. Sometimes, we don't even think of that. How about changing our perspective? How about keeping the thought in our mind at all times that - the person I am hating so much now, or I am arguing with so much now, may even die after an hour by meeting with some freak accident. This may change our perspective about all our relationships. Is this not true? It will change our thoughts about ourselves also. We will all begin thinking more of today and worry less about tomorrow.
Life is precious. Every life is very precious. Every heart is precious. Why hurt anyone including your ownself? Forgive everyone. Begin with yourself. Let death change our perspective.
Minggu, 04 Juli 2010
Compassion – A Powerful Doorway to Personal Growth
What if there was one choice you could make that would change everything in your life for the better? Actually, there is. It’s the choice to move out of judgment and into compassion for yourself and others.
Compassion is defined as a deep caring for the pain of others, often accompanied by a desire to help. There is nothing that feels more wonderful and comforting than experiencing another’s compassionate response to our painful feelings and experiences.
However, it’s interesting that compassion is never defined in terms of oneself. Yet, compassion is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves. In fact, when we give compassion to others but not to ourselves, we often end up feeling alone, worn out, and uncared for.
Jackie is a good example of a person who has compassion for others but not for herself. She is a very caring mother and wife. She listens compassionately to her husband’s work problems and does all she can to help him, even when she is having her own work problems. She is always there for her children, helping them with whatever problems arise, as well as for her co-workers. Everyone sees Jackie as a very loving person – and she is. So why is she often unhappy? Why is she often so fatigued and depleted? The problem is that Jackie is completely out of touch with her own feelings.
Jackie is so focused on meeting everyone else’s needs that she never tunes into herself and her own feelings and needs. She doesn’t know when she is tired or when she needs time for herself. She doesn’t know when she is feeling sad, lonely, or anxious. Because she has no compassion for herself, she finds herself using food to fill the inner emptiness that is the result of not taking loving care of herself.
Richard, on the other hand, lacks compassion for both himself and others. While it may seem as if he has compassion for himself, he also is not tuned into his own feelings. It seems like Richard has compassion for himself because he does what he wants – buys what he wants, goes after what he wants, spends time the way he wants. But his choices are coming from his fears and his addictive need to fill up from outside with things and approval rather than from love and compassion for himself. In addition, he is usually unconscious regarding the effect his behavior has on others. He keeps people waiting, doesn’t do what he says he is going to do, and becomes judgmental rather than compassionate in the face of another’s difficulties. Instead of caring when his wife is tired or needs help, he gets resistant and resentful that she isn’t there for him or is asking something of him.
A lack of compassion for oneself and others is a major cause of inner and relationship unhappiness. In terms of personal growth, if you were to just focus on making compassion your highest priority – both for yourself and for others – you would find yourself progressing toward happiness, peace and joy more rapidly than you can imagine.
We move into compassion for ourselves when we know that we have very good reasons for our feelings and behavior, and into compassion for others when we know that others also have very good reasons for their feelings and behavior. These good reasons are the fears and false beliefs that we have absorbed from our growing up years that create our painful feelings and our defensive behavior.
Moving into compassion is a process that takes time and practice:
1. Moving into compassion for yourself starts with noticing your self-judgment. Judgment is the opposite of compassion. When you judge yourself, you are telling yourself that you are wrong or bad for your feelings or behavior, rather than that you have good reasons. Each time you realize that you are judging yourself, consciously open your heart to compassion for yourself. When your intention is to be compassionate rather than judgmental, you will discover that it is not as hard as you think to shift from judgment to compassion.
2. Moving into compassion for others is similar. Begin to notice your anger, irritation, judgment, resentment, or resistance toward others. These negative feelings are the opposite of compassion. Once you notice these feelings, you have the choice to open to caring, understanding – to compassion.
3. Each time you find yourself in judgment for yourself or others, instead of judging yourself for judging, move into compassion for the judgmental part of you. If you judge yourself for judging yourself or others, you will stay stuck. If you embrace with compassion the judgmental part of yourself, you will find yourself gradually becoming less judgmental and more compassionate.
Each time you are compassionate with yourself and others, it becomes easier next time. You will discover that focusing on compassion for both yourself and others will move you toward the peace and joy you are seeking. It all comes from your intent – to protect against pain with your controlling behaviors, such as anger, blame and judgment, or to learn about loving yourself and others. When your deepest desire is to become a loving human being, opening to compassion is a powerful doorway to that path.
The preceding article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.
For other articles which you are free to use, see http://www.innerbonding.com
Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paul
Compassion is defined as a deep caring for the pain of others, often accompanied by a desire to help. There is nothing that feels more wonderful and comforting than experiencing another’s compassionate response to our painful feelings and experiences.
However, it’s interesting that compassion is never defined in terms of oneself. Yet, compassion is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves. In fact, when we give compassion to others but not to ourselves, we often end up feeling alone, worn out, and uncared for.
Jackie is a good example of a person who has compassion for others but not for herself. She is a very caring mother and wife. She listens compassionately to her husband’s work problems and does all she can to help him, even when she is having her own work problems. She is always there for her children, helping them with whatever problems arise, as well as for her co-workers. Everyone sees Jackie as a very loving person – and she is. So why is she often unhappy? Why is she often so fatigued and depleted? The problem is that Jackie is completely out of touch with her own feelings.
Jackie is so focused on meeting everyone else’s needs that she never tunes into herself and her own feelings and needs. She doesn’t know when she is tired or when she needs time for herself. She doesn’t know when she is feeling sad, lonely, or anxious. Because she has no compassion for herself, she finds herself using food to fill the inner emptiness that is the result of not taking loving care of herself.
Richard, on the other hand, lacks compassion for both himself and others. While it may seem as if he has compassion for himself, he also is not tuned into his own feelings. It seems like Richard has compassion for himself because he does what he wants – buys what he wants, goes after what he wants, spends time the way he wants. But his choices are coming from his fears and his addictive need to fill up from outside with things and approval rather than from love and compassion for himself. In addition, he is usually unconscious regarding the effect his behavior has on others. He keeps people waiting, doesn’t do what he says he is going to do, and becomes judgmental rather than compassionate in the face of another’s difficulties. Instead of caring when his wife is tired or needs help, he gets resistant and resentful that she isn’t there for him or is asking something of him.
A lack of compassion for oneself and others is a major cause of inner and relationship unhappiness. In terms of personal growth, if you were to just focus on making compassion your highest priority – both for yourself and for others – you would find yourself progressing toward happiness, peace and joy more rapidly than you can imagine.
We move into compassion for ourselves when we know that we have very good reasons for our feelings and behavior, and into compassion for others when we know that others also have very good reasons for their feelings and behavior. These good reasons are the fears and false beliefs that we have absorbed from our growing up years that create our painful feelings and our defensive behavior.
Moving into compassion is a process that takes time and practice:
1. Moving into compassion for yourself starts with noticing your self-judgment. Judgment is the opposite of compassion. When you judge yourself, you are telling yourself that you are wrong or bad for your feelings or behavior, rather than that you have good reasons. Each time you realize that you are judging yourself, consciously open your heart to compassion for yourself. When your intention is to be compassionate rather than judgmental, you will discover that it is not as hard as you think to shift from judgment to compassion.
2. Moving into compassion for others is similar. Begin to notice your anger, irritation, judgment, resentment, or resistance toward others. These negative feelings are the opposite of compassion. Once you notice these feelings, you have the choice to open to caring, understanding – to compassion.
3. Each time you find yourself in judgment for yourself or others, instead of judging yourself for judging, move into compassion for the judgmental part of you. If you judge yourself for judging yourself or others, you will stay stuck. If you embrace with compassion the judgmental part of yourself, you will find yourself gradually becoming less judgmental and more compassionate.
Each time you are compassionate with yourself and others, it becomes easier next time. You will discover that focusing on compassion for both yourself and others will move you toward the peace and joy you are seeking. It all comes from your intent – to protect against pain with your controlling behaviors, such as anger, blame and judgment, or to learn about loving yourself and others. When your deepest desire is to become a loving human being, opening to compassion is a powerful doorway to that path.
The preceding article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.
For other articles which you are free to use, see http://www.innerbonding.com
Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paul
Senin, 24 Mei 2010
Build The Confidence To Approach Other People, Through The Power Of Compassion!
Do you often feel uncomfortable in a social situation? Perhaps you’re overly shy? Or your stomach ties up in knots at the thought of approaching someone even just to say “Hi!”
Well the good news is that there are many techniques which you can use to help you overcome this problem of social shyness or anxiety. I’m going to share one of my favourites below. But first, three important points that need to be highlighted (so imagine them covered by ink from a bright yellow fluoro highlighter pen)
1. Don’t expect to get the confidence of Tony Robbins in one day. All changes happen in small steps. Make an effort to stretch yourself just a little bit further every day. And celebrate your victories, no matter how small they are. Those small victories will over time grow into a massive change in your confidence.
2. The best way to overcome a fear is to face it and succeed. What I’m presenting today is one way to build the courage to face your fear. What you need to do though is not only use it, but also search out a whole host of other techniques as well. And use them! Different techniques may be more appropriate for different situations. We’ll of course be talking about many of the other techniques in future articles.
3. As always, if your social shyness or anxiety is causing difficulties in your life, please consider talking to a doctor or a counsellor. They will be able to expand on this strategy, and provide you with many more. They really can help.
So, as promised, here’s one of my favourite techniques for helping you feel more confident as you approach other people in a social situation.
You will be tapping into one of the greatest powers you have within you. More powerful than all the fear you may currently feel.
That power is compassion.
In many of us though it lies asleep, a luxury we feel we can’t afford just yet. Maybe something we’ll get around to exploring when we get over our problems and start feeling happy about ourselves. After all, how can we be compassionate towards others when we don’t even feel good about ourselves?
Is that what you think?
Well, I think we’re better served by looking at things from a different perspective. One that sees compassion not only as a tool for helping others, but also for helping ourselves.
So, how do we use compassion in this situation?
SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AS BEING JUST LIKE YOU!
They are human. Somewhere within them they have fears too. Their fears may not be visible to you on the surface, but they’re there. We are all human.
We all desire human contact!
We all desire friendship!
We all desire to be loved!
So before approaching someone, remind yourself that they too may have difficulties making the first move. They may be waiting for someone to talk to about their problems and their issues. They may be waiting for someone just like you, who can understand them and their own fears. Someone just like you, with a heart filled with compassion and love. And perhaps in time, if a friendship develops, you can help them with their own fears.
Why does this work? Simply because it takes the focus off you, and places it onto the other person. How can you help them? How can you be their friend in a time of need?
Of course, don’t approach them with these questions directly. It would not be appropriate in most social situations, especially if you don’t know the person yet. Just approach them with this understanding, that they’re just like you. They too are human. Make conversation. Talk about them, and their interests. Many times this may lead nowhere. Sometimes though, it could develop into one of the best friendships of your life.
They’re just like you. So there’s no need to be afraid. They also want someone to talk to. Help them!
You can let your shyness or anxiety be a source of fear within yourself, or you can let it build your compassion towards others who are also facing their own demons. Choose compassion! In return, you will also be helping yourself overcome your own fears, one conversation at a time.
Lance Beggs
Well the good news is that there are many techniques which you can use to help you overcome this problem of social shyness or anxiety. I’m going to share one of my favourites below. But first, three important points that need to be highlighted (so imagine them covered by ink from a bright yellow fluoro highlighter pen)
1. Don’t expect to get the confidence of Tony Robbins in one day. All changes happen in small steps. Make an effort to stretch yourself just a little bit further every day. And celebrate your victories, no matter how small they are. Those small victories will over time grow into a massive change in your confidence.
2. The best way to overcome a fear is to face it and succeed. What I’m presenting today is one way to build the courage to face your fear. What you need to do though is not only use it, but also search out a whole host of other techniques as well. And use them! Different techniques may be more appropriate for different situations. We’ll of course be talking about many of the other techniques in future articles.
3. As always, if your social shyness or anxiety is causing difficulties in your life, please consider talking to a doctor or a counsellor. They will be able to expand on this strategy, and provide you with many more. They really can help.
So, as promised, here’s one of my favourite techniques for helping you feel more confident as you approach other people in a social situation.
You will be tapping into one of the greatest powers you have within you. More powerful than all the fear you may currently feel.
That power is compassion.
In many of us though it lies asleep, a luxury we feel we can’t afford just yet. Maybe something we’ll get around to exploring when we get over our problems and start feeling happy about ourselves. After all, how can we be compassionate towards others when we don’t even feel good about ourselves?
Is that what you think?
Well, I think we’re better served by looking at things from a different perspective. One that sees compassion not only as a tool for helping others, but also for helping ourselves.
So, how do we use compassion in this situation?
SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AS BEING JUST LIKE YOU!
They are human. Somewhere within them they have fears too. Their fears may not be visible to you on the surface, but they’re there. We are all human.
We all desire human contact!
We all desire friendship!
We all desire to be loved!
So before approaching someone, remind yourself that they too may have difficulties making the first move. They may be waiting for someone to talk to about their problems and their issues. They may be waiting for someone just like you, who can understand them and their own fears. Someone just like you, with a heart filled with compassion and love. And perhaps in time, if a friendship develops, you can help them with their own fears.
Why does this work? Simply because it takes the focus off you, and places it onto the other person. How can you help them? How can you be their friend in a time of need?
Of course, don’t approach them with these questions directly. It would not be appropriate in most social situations, especially if you don’t know the person yet. Just approach them with this understanding, that they’re just like you. They too are human. Make conversation. Talk about them, and their interests. Many times this may lead nowhere. Sometimes though, it could develop into one of the best friendships of your life.
They’re just like you. So there’s no need to be afraid. They also want someone to talk to. Help them!
You can let your shyness or anxiety be a source of fear within yourself, or you can let it build your compassion towards others who are also facing their own demons. Choose compassion! In return, you will also be helping yourself overcome your own fears, one conversation at a time.
Lance Beggs
Sabtu, 10 April 2010
Are You Doing What You Love?
Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. --Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)
We are busier than we have ever been, working long hours and feeling under more and more pressure. How do you spend your days? For many people work and pleasure are seen as separate, with work being a chore that has to be done to pay the bills. It doesn’t always have to be like that. Although we don’t have to love everything we do, we do need to gain some enjoyment from most of what we do. Take a moment to see if it is time to start afresh and do something you love, something that adds the pleasure factor back into your working life?
Think about what matters to you and why you do the things you do. For each person that means something different. What aspects of a job are important to you? List them. Think about your dream job. Does it motivate and inspire you? If not, think again. It has to mean something to you; otherwise you will not be prepared to put in the effort to achieve what you want. Ask: ‘What am I prepared to give up to make this happen?’ ‘What would I love to try?’ ‘What options do I have?’ ‘What are my talents, skills and qualities?’ ‘How can I utilise them in my ideal job?’ How can you take an idea and turn it into reality? Get creative and think through how you could make money doing what you enjoy.
Starting anew requires courage, confidence and commitment. Hold on to your sense of purpose. Believe in yourself. Ignore the critics, for there are bound to be some, and face your fears (there will many of those too!). Ask for help from those people who can assist you and get supporters to keep you motivated. Research things that interest you and, if necessary, go back to basics and learn new skills. Develop a clear vision of where you’d like to be in 10 years’ time – and why. Write it down. Be specific. This will provide you with something to focus on. Think creatively. This may not happen all of a sudden, but if you work at it gradually, day by day, it can happen.
And if starting something new is not for you, how can you love the job you already have? You can’t always control your situation, but you can always choose how you react to it. Your attitude colours how you face every day and has an influence on the people around you. Choose to be positive. Are there areas of your job that you can improve on? Who can you discuss this with? Is a change to a new role in the same company an option? Examine the possibilities. Your job does not define you, but how you do it does.
And why bother? Doing what you love gives you a good reason to get up every morning. Your life will be challenging, certainly, exciting, definitely. Doing things you enjoy which give you personal fulfilment and satisfaction has been shown to contribute to good health and longevity. Don’t wait for perfect circumstances to start. Begin now!
We are busier than we have ever been, working long hours and feeling under more and more pressure. How do you spend your days? For many people work and pleasure are seen as separate, with work being a chore that has to be done to pay the bills. It doesn’t always have to be like that. Although we don’t have to love everything we do, we do need to gain some enjoyment from most of what we do. Take a moment to see if it is time to start afresh and do something you love, something that adds the pleasure factor back into your working life?
Think about what matters to you and why you do the things you do. For each person that means something different. What aspects of a job are important to you? List them. Think about your dream job. Does it motivate and inspire you? If not, think again. It has to mean something to you; otherwise you will not be prepared to put in the effort to achieve what you want. Ask: ‘What am I prepared to give up to make this happen?’ ‘What would I love to try?’ ‘What options do I have?’ ‘What are my talents, skills and qualities?’ ‘How can I utilise them in my ideal job?’ How can you take an idea and turn it into reality? Get creative and think through how you could make money doing what you enjoy.
Starting anew requires courage, confidence and commitment. Hold on to your sense of purpose. Believe in yourself. Ignore the critics, for there are bound to be some, and face your fears (there will many of those too!). Ask for help from those people who can assist you and get supporters to keep you motivated. Research things that interest you and, if necessary, go back to basics and learn new skills. Develop a clear vision of where you’d like to be in 10 years’ time – and why. Write it down. Be specific. This will provide you with something to focus on. Think creatively. This may not happen all of a sudden, but if you work at it gradually, day by day, it can happen.
And if starting something new is not for you, how can you love the job you already have? You can’t always control your situation, but you can always choose how you react to it. Your attitude colours how you face every day and has an influence on the people around you. Choose to be positive. Are there areas of your job that you can improve on? Who can you discuss this with? Is a change to a new role in the same company an option? Examine the possibilities. Your job does not define you, but how you do it does.
And why bother? Doing what you love gives you a good reason to get up every morning. Your life will be challenging, certainly, exciting, definitely. Doing things you enjoy which give you personal fulfilment and satisfaction has been shown to contribute to good health and longevity. Don’t wait for perfect circumstances to start. Begin now!
Rabu, 03 Maret 2010
Accentuate The Positive
How badly do you want your life to change and improve? How much have you studied up on self-help, personal development and success? How many articles and publications have you read? While research, thought and planning are important tools on your path to success, they are not the only weapons in your arsenal and in fact might even be hindering your success if you give into the easy choice of becoming a perpetual student of success. If you read every self-help book available, then you will never become a success because there won't be any time left to act upon the advice those publications offer. While it is good to listen to advice, eventually you are going to have to take action and that can't be done while reading. Our every thought either takes us toward our goals and desires or away from those goals and desires. Therefore, every thought has a positive or negative effect on the direction of our lives.
Compare your brain to a computer. If a new PC is loaded up with virus contaminated programs, would you expect it to run smoothly? Of course not, because you get out of the computer exactly what you put in, as my former computer programming teacher always said "garbage in, garbage out" and your brain is exactly the same.
Your every thought determines the direction of your life. If you are moving backward then take time to analyze your thoughts. Make a determined effort to recognize negative thoughts and treat them as your worst enemy. Try not to dwell on them. Putty can be molded into any shape or form and so, too, your life can be shaped and your destiny set by your thoughts.
If you find yourself weighed down by a lot of negative thoughts find a way to let them out. If you have a considerate, nonjudgmental friend who is willing to listen, then vent. Pets are great sympathetic listeners. You can also use a journal to vent your negative thoughts. A good friend of mine recently went through a very difficult time, professionally and personally, and while she did a fair amount of crying on the shoulders of her loved ones she found it counterproductive because they were too sympathetic and that sympathy would often only emphasize her sense that she'd been wronged. She needed to find a way to break that cycle so she could move on. She wrote out her frustration and anger and then held a symbolic burning party. I haven't tried her method myself but am holding it in reserve for future tough times.
Remember, the potential for change is the same for everyone. It only takes acceptance of the idea that change is possible coupled with the determination to follow through. It's not always easy to control our thoughts, but certainly not impossible, and the rewards can last a lifetime.
There are many books on the subject of self-help, but remember, you must take action to succeed. Your thoughts will not change simple by reading an article or book. You must apply what you learn to your everyday affairs. Allow what you read to awaken the possibility of change within you, then take action.
One of the most beneficial practices for positive thinking is to look for the "good" in everyone and everything. Remember to encourage others everyday by a kind word or deed and be ready to offer (or receive) compliments.
Find opportunities to put the power of your positive thinking to work. For example, you might be standing in a long line at the supermarket checkout. Rather than get upset, do your utmost to help out and encourage others with a kind word or compliment. You will be surprised at the positive reaction and at how many people will bless you with a wonderful smile in return.
Taking the time to notice others and look for the "good" in every situation will not only lift your spirits, but will brighten the day for everyone around you - it's a win-win situation to be sure. There are a 1001 ways to look for the good in others, be they family, friends or those you may only meet once. So, get the lead-out, get rid of those negative thoughts and become a winner.
Begin today to change your thought patterns one step at a time. Set yourself a goal for the week or month and devote full attention to controlling your thoughts. Start with at least one hour each day and increase the time as your confidence and thinking improve. It is a habit that needs nurturing and a habit you'll come to cherish.
If you accentuate the positives in your life and concentrate on making more positive changes, then there will be no stopping you on your road to success.
Compare your brain to a computer. If a new PC is loaded up with virus contaminated programs, would you expect it to run smoothly? Of course not, because you get out of the computer exactly what you put in, as my former computer programming teacher always said "garbage in, garbage out" and your brain is exactly the same.
Your every thought determines the direction of your life. If you are moving backward then take time to analyze your thoughts. Make a determined effort to recognize negative thoughts and treat them as your worst enemy. Try not to dwell on them. Putty can be molded into any shape or form and so, too, your life can be shaped and your destiny set by your thoughts.
If you find yourself weighed down by a lot of negative thoughts find a way to let them out. If you have a considerate, nonjudgmental friend who is willing to listen, then vent. Pets are great sympathetic listeners. You can also use a journal to vent your negative thoughts. A good friend of mine recently went through a very difficult time, professionally and personally, and while she did a fair amount of crying on the shoulders of her loved ones she found it counterproductive because they were too sympathetic and that sympathy would often only emphasize her sense that she'd been wronged. She needed to find a way to break that cycle so she could move on. She wrote out her frustration and anger and then held a symbolic burning party. I haven't tried her method myself but am holding it in reserve for future tough times.
Remember, the potential for change is the same for everyone. It only takes acceptance of the idea that change is possible coupled with the determination to follow through. It's not always easy to control our thoughts, but certainly not impossible, and the rewards can last a lifetime.
There are many books on the subject of self-help, but remember, you must take action to succeed. Your thoughts will not change simple by reading an article or book. You must apply what you learn to your everyday affairs. Allow what you read to awaken the possibility of change within you, then take action.
One of the most beneficial practices for positive thinking is to look for the "good" in everyone and everything. Remember to encourage others everyday by a kind word or deed and be ready to offer (or receive) compliments.
Find opportunities to put the power of your positive thinking to work. For example, you might be standing in a long line at the supermarket checkout. Rather than get upset, do your utmost to help out and encourage others with a kind word or compliment. You will be surprised at the positive reaction and at how many people will bless you with a wonderful smile in return.
Taking the time to notice others and look for the "good" in every situation will not only lift your spirits, but will brighten the day for everyone around you - it's a win-win situation to be sure. There are a 1001 ways to look for the good in others, be they family, friends or those you may only meet once. So, get the lead-out, get rid of those negative thoughts and become a winner.
Begin today to change your thought patterns one step at a time. Set yourself a goal for the week or month and devote full attention to controlling your thoughts. Start with at least one hour each day and increase the time as your confidence and thinking improve. It is a habit that needs nurturing and a habit you'll come to cherish.
If you accentuate the positives in your life and concentrate on making more positive changes, then there will be no stopping you on your road to success.
Sabtu, 20 Februari 2010
A Glimpse Of Your True Nature...
I believe that every moment of existence holds within it, somewhere, a key to your true nature. So as you read this article, do so as if this could be your key, and let’s see which doors it opens within you.
There is a simple fact of nature that I would like you to consider – YOU ARE ALREADY PERFECT!
All of nature, or existence, or reality, or whatever you prefer to call it, is already perfect.
There is nothing outside of you that you need to find to complete you. You are already complete.
There is nothing you need to achieve. There is nothing you need to get, do or become. Everything you need to “be you” is already within you. You are perfect, as is all other creation.
A rock is a rock. It doesn’t try to be anything other than itself. It does not look elsewhere for its identity. It just is, and it’s perfect.
A tree does not try to be something it’s not. It’s a tree. And it spends its time just being. Without struggle, it is what it is- perfect.
I have a cat named Schrody. Now Schrody lives an incredibly free life, because he simply is who he is. He spends his time just being Schrody. And he does it perfectly.
There is not one example in nature, living or non-living, which is not already perfect. Including YOU! You are perfect right now- exactly how you are meant to be.
If you were meant to be something or someone else, then you would be.
If you were meant to have something else, then you would have it.
If you were meant to achieve something, then you would have achieved it.
You are already perfect, just as you are.
So why don’t you feel perfect? Why are you not happy? Why are you looking outside of yourself for that something else which will complete you?
Perhaps because you falsely believe you should be something else? Something other than what you truly are. You are refusing to accept reality. You fight what is, and that’s a fight you can never win. You believe you should be richer. Or have a better job. Or a different relationship.
These things are just your external environment. And if you wish to change them, you can certainly do it. The circumstances you live with now are a result of your choices so far, and you can create a new life for the future by choosing to make changes in your life, and taking appropriate action.
If that is your desire, you can change your finances. You can change your career. You can improve your relationships. And making these changes will certainly make your life different. However, they cannot make YOU better. It’s impossible to improve on perfection.
Personal development and growth does not improve you. It simply expands your awareness of the truth- that you are already perfect.
Until you recognize this fact, you will continue in your suffering. Happiness cannot be found outside you. Happiness comes from within, when you give up the illusion, and just love yourself unconditionally.
So! How about no more thinking, “I should be this…”, or “I should have that.” How about thinking, “I am exactly who I am, and no-one could do a more perfect job at it than me.”
Be happy being who you are.
Lance Beggs
There is a simple fact of nature that I would like you to consider – YOU ARE ALREADY PERFECT!
All of nature, or existence, or reality, or whatever you prefer to call it, is already perfect.
There is nothing outside of you that you need to find to complete you. You are already complete.
There is nothing you need to achieve. There is nothing you need to get, do or become. Everything you need to “be you” is already within you. You are perfect, as is all other creation.
A rock is a rock. It doesn’t try to be anything other than itself. It does not look elsewhere for its identity. It just is, and it’s perfect.
A tree does not try to be something it’s not. It’s a tree. And it spends its time just being. Without struggle, it is what it is- perfect.
I have a cat named Schrody. Now Schrody lives an incredibly free life, because he simply is who he is. He spends his time just being Schrody. And he does it perfectly.
There is not one example in nature, living or non-living, which is not already perfect. Including YOU! You are perfect right now- exactly how you are meant to be.
If you were meant to be something or someone else, then you would be.
If you were meant to have something else, then you would have it.
If you were meant to achieve something, then you would have achieved it.
You are already perfect, just as you are.
So why don’t you feel perfect? Why are you not happy? Why are you looking outside of yourself for that something else which will complete you?
Perhaps because you falsely believe you should be something else? Something other than what you truly are. You are refusing to accept reality. You fight what is, and that’s a fight you can never win. You believe you should be richer. Or have a better job. Or a different relationship.
These things are just your external environment. And if you wish to change them, you can certainly do it. The circumstances you live with now are a result of your choices so far, and you can create a new life for the future by choosing to make changes in your life, and taking appropriate action.
If that is your desire, you can change your finances. You can change your career. You can improve your relationships. And making these changes will certainly make your life different. However, they cannot make YOU better. It’s impossible to improve on perfection.
Personal development and growth does not improve you. It simply expands your awareness of the truth- that you are already perfect.
Until you recognize this fact, you will continue in your suffering. Happiness cannot be found outside you. Happiness comes from within, when you give up the illusion, and just love yourself unconditionally.
So! How about no more thinking, “I should be this…”, or “I should have that.” How about thinking, “I am exactly who I am, and no-one could do a more perfect job at it than me.”
Be happy being who you are.
Lance Beggs
Jumat, 12 Februari 2010
100% Attitude
The effect your attitude has on everything – some steps to improve it.
Your attitude will determine a lot, we’ve all heard the glass half full or glass half empty way off looking at things, both are the same thing, but are vastly different as well. You have the ability to transform your life and reach new heights of success and fulfilment. Whether at this moment in time your attitude is positive, negative or somewhere in the middle you can take control of your life and set yourself free! Everyone has potential, the unfortunate thing is that most people go through life and never realise or take advantage of this!
Firstly you must visualize what you want - you the dreams everyone has – unfortunately most people leave them as just that, dreams. The second thing that you must do is see yourself in your dream environment, and see yourself getting there. I can, I will and when I are the things you must say rather than the negative version I can’t, I won’t and if I! Don’t worry if you fall into a more negative category – the good thing about attitude is that you can learn and train yourself to have a positive one given a bit of time and practice.
You’ve told yourself that it is going to happen and now must talk about it by doing this you are making yourself accountable and putting yourself under a little pressure to make it happen! If you dream is to be on Millionaire Street and you are currently in debt – you must realise that this dream is not going to happen overnight in may take a few years – you don’t go around saying you are going to be a millionaire by next Thursday afternoon in three weeks time! Don’t set unrealistic targets otherwise you may put yourself under undue stress and pressure to achieve, which can be detrimental to your cause.
Attitude isn’t everything – it is simply the first thing! Remember it’s going to be action that actually gets you there and the attitude will determine what pace that will be. You are the architect, the builder and the benefactor of all your life’s endeavours. So when something doesn’t go your way the first place to look is inwards. You must ask yourself what you could have done differently to have gotten a more favourable result, after this inward analysis is done then you look at some of the external issues that may have been amiss too.
Everyone has their fears; I don’t mean things like scared of the dark or spiders etc. I am talking about fears to do with success, for example, it might be something that you haven’t learnt to do yet, and you fear that you may fail. Remember that if you don’t try you fail anyway, and if you do fail sometimes then success is that much sweeter because you actually had to get over obstacles to get to the end result.
In summary we’ll use something interesting to illustrate a point. There are 26 letters in the alphabet, A = 1 and Z = 26 working on that basis we assign a number to each letter of the word attitude and add them up:
A(1) + T(20) + T(20) + I(9) + T(20) + U(21) + D(4) + E(5) = 100 - 100% Attitude!
Having a positive or optimistic attitude helps you to achieve more for yourself than a negative or pessimistic one. Visualise what you want, take action to make it happen, overcome any fears and keep plugging away, remember that tree that you see in your local park didn’t get that big overnight. You can learn to train your mind, and over time you will learn how to develop and maintain a positive attitude.
Your attitude will determine a lot, we’ve all heard the glass half full or glass half empty way off looking at things, both are the same thing, but are vastly different as well. You have the ability to transform your life and reach new heights of success and fulfilment. Whether at this moment in time your attitude is positive, negative or somewhere in the middle you can take control of your life and set yourself free! Everyone has potential, the unfortunate thing is that most people go through life and never realise or take advantage of this!
Firstly you must visualize what you want - you the dreams everyone has – unfortunately most people leave them as just that, dreams. The second thing that you must do is see yourself in your dream environment, and see yourself getting there. I can, I will and when I are the things you must say rather than the negative version I can’t, I won’t and if I! Don’t worry if you fall into a more negative category – the good thing about attitude is that you can learn and train yourself to have a positive one given a bit of time and practice.
You’ve told yourself that it is going to happen and now must talk about it by doing this you are making yourself accountable and putting yourself under a little pressure to make it happen! If you dream is to be on Millionaire Street and you are currently in debt – you must realise that this dream is not going to happen overnight in may take a few years – you don’t go around saying you are going to be a millionaire by next Thursday afternoon in three weeks time! Don’t set unrealistic targets otherwise you may put yourself under undue stress and pressure to achieve, which can be detrimental to your cause.
Attitude isn’t everything – it is simply the first thing! Remember it’s going to be action that actually gets you there and the attitude will determine what pace that will be. You are the architect, the builder and the benefactor of all your life’s endeavours. So when something doesn’t go your way the first place to look is inwards. You must ask yourself what you could have done differently to have gotten a more favourable result, after this inward analysis is done then you look at some of the external issues that may have been amiss too.
Everyone has their fears; I don’t mean things like scared of the dark or spiders etc. I am talking about fears to do with success, for example, it might be something that you haven’t learnt to do yet, and you fear that you may fail. Remember that if you don’t try you fail anyway, and if you do fail sometimes then success is that much sweeter because you actually had to get over obstacles to get to the end result.
In summary we’ll use something interesting to illustrate a point. There are 26 letters in the alphabet, A = 1 and Z = 26 working on that basis we assign a number to each letter of the word attitude and add them up:
A(1) + T(20) + T(20) + I(9) + T(20) + U(21) + D(4) + E(5) = 100 - 100% Attitude!
Having a positive or optimistic attitude helps you to achieve more for yourself than a negative or pessimistic one. Visualise what you want, take action to make it happen, overcome any fears and keep plugging away, remember that tree that you see in your local park didn’t get that big overnight. You can learn to train your mind, and over time you will learn how to develop and maintain a positive attitude.
Kamis, 11 Februari 2010
50 Questions To Help You Find Your Life’s Purpose
Let’s get straight into it!
If you want to live a happy life, then you MUST spend some time deciding what you want to do with your life, and then make the effort to live that life with passion.
It’s up to you!
No-one else is going to do it for you.
So, take some time out from your busy day-to-day routine, and consider the following questions.
1. What is my life’s purpose?
2. If I had to take a best guess at my life’s purpose, what would it be?
3. Who am I?
4. What is the most important thing in my life?
5. What do I love to do, more than anything else?
6. If I had only six months left to live, what would I like to achieve?
7. What would I like to leave the world, as my legacy?
8. What would I do with my life, if I knew I could not fail?
9. If money, or time, or current responsibilities were not an issue, what would I like to do with my life, more than anything else in the world?
10. What activities have I discovered that give me the most pleasure?
11. What do I still want to learn?
12. When I was a child, what did I dream of doing with my life?
13. What has been the greatest challenge that I have overcome so far in my life? Could I help other people to overcome that same challenge?
14. What challenge would I love to overcome, and then help others achieve the same?
15. Who are the people I most admire?
16. Why do I admire these people?
17. How would I define their life’s purpose?
18. What qualities do these people possess that I’d also like to be known for?
19. What is the biggest dream I have ever had for my life?
20. What subjects did I enjoy most in school?
21. What sport have I most enjoyed?
22. What art or craft have I most enjoyed?
23. What social activity have I most enjoyed?
24. What hobbies have I pursued?
25. What hobbies do I wish I had pursued?
26. What would I like to do, if only other people didn’t think it was silly?
27. Where in the world would I most like to live?
28. Who would I like to live there with?
29. Where in the world would I like to work?
30. Who would I most like to work with?
31. What would my perfect day be like?
32. Is there a spiritual side to me, waiting to be unleashed?
33. What would I like to do, RIGHT NOW, which would bring me the most happiness or pleasure?
34. What special gift do I have that I could give to the world?
35. What makes me cry with joy, or brings tears to my eyes?
36. What would I like to do this weekend, just for fun?
37. If I could be granted the power to change the world, what would I do?
38. If I were given three wishes, what would they be?
39. What is something that scares me a bit, but would be really exciting if I did it?
40. What does my heart say I am to do with my life?
41. What qualities do I possess that I am really proud of?
42. What have I done in my life that I am really proud of?
43. If I had time available to contribute to a charity, or some cause, what would it be?
44. What am I usually doing when I suddenly realise that time has flown by, and all my focus has been on that one task?
45. What do I want to do on my next vacation?
46. Who in history would I most love to be, and why?
47. What do I most regret not doing, so far in my life?
48. At the end of my life, what would I most regret not having done?
49. What is my life’s purpose?
50. If I had to take a best guess at my life’s purpose, and just get started with something that excites me, what would it be?
Ponder these questions for a while. Pick out one that you can really relate to, and ask yourself the question over and over and over, until you have an answer.
The answers are within. If you ask, you will receive your answer.
You can live a life of purpose. You can live a life of passion and success! Ask, until you get your answer. And then take massive action. It’s worth it, I promise.
Lance Beggs.
If you want to live a happy life, then you MUST spend some time deciding what you want to do with your life, and then make the effort to live that life with passion.
It’s up to you!
No-one else is going to do it for you.
So, take some time out from your busy day-to-day routine, and consider the following questions.
1. What is my life’s purpose?
2. If I had to take a best guess at my life’s purpose, what would it be?
3. Who am I?
4. What is the most important thing in my life?
5. What do I love to do, more than anything else?
6. If I had only six months left to live, what would I like to achieve?
7. What would I like to leave the world, as my legacy?
8. What would I do with my life, if I knew I could not fail?
9. If money, or time, or current responsibilities were not an issue, what would I like to do with my life, more than anything else in the world?
10. What activities have I discovered that give me the most pleasure?
11. What do I still want to learn?
12. When I was a child, what did I dream of doing with my life?
13. What has been the greatest challenge that I have overcome so far in my life? Could I help other people to overcome that same challenge?
14. What challenge would I love to overcome, and then help others achieve the same?
15. Who are the people I most admire?
16. Why do I admire these people?
17. How would I define their life’s purpose?
18. What qualities do these people possess that I’d also like to be known for?
19. What is the biggest dream I have ever had for my life?
20. What subjects did I enjoy most in school?
21. What sport have I most enjoyed?
22. What art or craft have I most enjoyed?
23. What social activity have I most enjoyed?
24. What hobbies have I pursued?
25. What hobbies do I wish I had pursued?
26. What would I like to do, if only other people didn’t think it was silly?
27. Where in the world would I most like to live?
28. Who would I like to live there with?
29. Where in the world would I like to work?
30. Who would I most like to work with?
31. What would my perfect day be like?
32. Is there a spiritual side to me, waiting to be unleashed?
33. What would I like to do, RIGHT NOW, which would bring me the most happiness or pleasure?
34. What special gift do I have that I could give to the world?
35. What makes me cry with joy, or brings tears to my eyes?
36. What would I like to do this weekend, just for fun?
37. If I could be granted the power to change the world, what would I do?
38. If I were given three wishes, what would they be?
39. What is something that scares me a bit, but would be really exciting if I did it?
40. What does my heart say I am to do with my life?
41. What qualities do I possess that I am really proud of?
42. What have I done in my life that I am really proud of?
43. If I had time available to contribute to a charity, or some cause, what would it be?
44. What am I usually doing when I suddenly realise that time has flown by, and all my focus has been on that one task?
45. What do I want to do on my next vacation?
46. Who in history would I most love to be, and why?
47. What do I most regret not doing, so far in my life?
48. At the end of my life, what would I most regret not having done?
49. What is my life’s purpose?
50. If I had to take a best guess at my life’s purpose, and just get started with something that excites me, what would it be?
Ponder these questions for a while. Pick out one that you can really relate to, and ask yourself the question over and over and over, until you have an answer.
The answers are within. If you ask, you will receive your answer.
You can live a life of purpose. You can live a life of passion and success! Ask, until you get your answer. And then take massive action. It’s worth it, I promise.
Lance Beggs.
Jumat, 08 Januari 2010
3 Questions To Empower You
Start to create a new, better life
Copyright 2006 Christopher Green
For most people in our society, life will hold little more than a dutiful slog in the 9-5 rat race for forty years before retiring. Many will look back on their lives and wished they’d had an opportunity to have done something different. Some may have even had opportunities to do so but didn’t take them. One thought is very common: “I wish I could’ve done something else but I never really knew what I wanted to do.”
Sounds familiar, yes?
Relax. Because I can help you identify what it is you’d really like to do and I can show you how to begin. It all starts by asking yourself three very important questions and I believe these questions are the most important questions you can ask yourself. Here they are:
1. What, EXACTLY, do I want to do? This question gets straight to the heart of the matter and it requires SPECIFIC answers. Also, your answer should be something you have a passion for and are genuinely interested in and not something you think others would be impressed with. It should be something you feel so strongly about that missing out on it will make you seriously unhappy. By this, I mean IT WILL HURT YOU DEEPLY if you don’t at least give it a shot. Take the time to think seriously about this question, at least 30 minutes a day as this is the first step towards getting what you want. Be thorough. Think about how you’d like to spend each day of your life, and think about what you don’t want to do and what you’d like to change about how you spend your days right now.
2. What do I have to do to get it? This question requires answers about the practicalities required to achieve your goal. It will cover the necessary skills – what skills do you have now that you can use and what new skills will you need to develop? You’ll need to know about courses or training programs you’ll need to take and you’ll need to identify how much practice or study you’ll have to do. Other considerations will be things like location as you may have to move somewhere else, people you need to connect with, making contacts, networking, equipment anything you find that is a necessary part of achieving your goal.
3. What am I prepared to give to ensure I succeed? When you’ve identified what you want to do and what this will entail, you then need to decide what you’re going to give to make your dream happen. Success demands a price. In particular, we have the 3 kings: Time, Money and Commitment. How much time are you prepared to give? Are you prepared to sacrifice other activities to free up more time? Time is the most precious resource you have and it is a non-renewable resource. It is important you give a significant portion of your free time to the pursuit of your goal. Next comes money. You will have to be prepared to invest money in your project – IN YOURSELF – to make progress. This could mean purchasing equipment, attending seminars, courses, property, books, raw materials etc. and without such an investment, it is unlikely your project will get off the ground. Finally, how committed are you to making your dream happen? In my opinion, if you’re serious about getting the lifestyle and the success you truly want, you must be 100% committed to it. This will mean making sacrifices: friends, socializing, working long hours, working weekends in short, sacrificing many of the things you enjoy doing today so you can create a better tomorrow. If you love something and you want to achieve a high standard of success, you will have to devote lots and lots of time to it and place it above everything else. Are you prepared to do this?
You now have three empowering questions to help you get started on creating a new life for yourself. Please make the time to think seriously about the answers you want to give to them and you’ll reap the rewards.
Until next time.
Copyright 2006 Christopher Green
For most people in our society, life will hold little more than a dutiful slog in the 9-5 rat race for forty years before retiring. Many will look back on their lives and wished they’d had an opportunity to have done something different. Some may have even had opportunities to do so but didn’t take them. One thought is very common: “I wish I could’ve done something else but I never really knew what I wanted to do.”
Sounds familiar, yes?
Relax. Because I can help you identify what it is you’d really like to do and I can show you how to begin. It all starts by asking yourself three very important questions and I believe these questions are the most important questions you can ask yourself. Here they are:
1. What, EXACTLY, do I want to do? This question gets straight to the heart of the matter and it requires SPECIFIC answers. Also, your answer should be something you have a passion for and are genuinely interested in and not something you think others would be impressed with. It should be something you feel so strongly about that missing out on it will make you seriously unhappy. By this, I mean IT WILL HURT YOU DEEPLY if you don’t at least give it a shot. Take the time to think seriously about this question, at least 30 minutes a day as this is the first step towards getting what you want. Be thorough. Think about how you’d like to spend each day of your life, and think about what you don’t want to do and what you’d like to change about how you spend your days right now.
2. What do I have to do to get it? This question requires answers about the practicalities required to achieve your goal. It will cover the necessary skills – what skills do you have now that you can use and what new skills will you need to develop? You’ll need to know about courses or training programs you’ll need to take and you’ll need to identify how much practice or study you’ll have to do. Other considerations will be things like location as you may have to move somewhere else, people you need to connect with, making contacts, networking, equipment anything you find that is a necessary part of achieving your goal.
3. What am I prepared to give to ensure I succeed? When you’ve identified what you want to do and what this will entail, you then need to decide what you’re going to give to make your dream happen. Success demands a price. In particular, we have the 3 kings: Time, Money and Commitment. How much time are you prepared to give? Are you prepared to sacrifice other activities to free up more time? Time is the most precious resource you have and it is a non-renewable resource. It is important you give a significant portion of your free time to the pursuit of your goal. Next comes money. You will have to be prepared to invest money in your project – IN YOURSELF – to make progress. This could mean purchasing equipment, attending seminars, courses, property, books, raw materials etc. and without such an investment, it is unlikely your project will get off the ground. Finally, how committed are you to making your dream happen? In my opinion, if you’re serious about getting the lifestyle and the success you truly want, you must be 100% committed to it. This will mean making sacrifices: friends, socializing, working long hours, working weekends in short, sacrificing many of the things you enjoy doing today so you can create a better tomorrow. If you love something and you want to achieve a high standard of success, you will have to devote lots and lots of time to it and place it above everything else. Are you prepared to do this?
You now have three empowering questions to help you get started on creating a new life for yourself. Please make the time to think seriously about the answers you want to give to them and you’ll reap the rewards.
Until next time.
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