Taking Yourself Too Seriously? - Suggestions for Reclaiming Your Perspective

"We can change our circumstances by a mere change of our attitude." - William James, 19th Century American psychologist and philosopher

I've noticed I often take myself, my work, and my life way too seriously. I blow events out of proportion, demand perfection, and generally behave as if my needs are at the center of everything.

I agonize over small decisions, worry about personal interactions, wrestle with each word of a simple e-mail, and wake up at night with my heart pounding in anticipation of tomorrow's presentation or with angst about what happened today. Was I good enough? How can I get this right for a change? Why did I say THAT?! The minutest detail is not too small to escape scrutiny when I'm in this frame of mind - when life becomes very, very serious.

When this happens I lose my self, my center, and my perspective. I step out of the precious present moment and into anxiety about the future or the past. I forget that there's nothing I can control except right now, right here, this moment and my availability to it.

Happily, remembering this personal truth is what shifts me back into the present. I begin to breathe again and slip seamlessly into the realization that right now, at this moment, I am okay. Sanity returns as I focus on what is at hand.

Vibrant and Joyful
I practice a martial art called aikido, whose flowing and graceful movements belie the power behind them. Aikido is based on principles such as centered response and utilization of energy, and it has practical applications in the world of conflict resolution and self-management. Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of aikido, called it the Art of Peace, and said that we must "always practice the Art of Peace in a vibrant and joyful manner." Aikidoists try to remember this as we throw each other around the mat, smiling and having fun while we work to perfect our technique.

As we push on into the first decade of this new century, it is likely that life will become even more complex than it already is. Here are some suggestions that might help when you become separated from your perspective:

- Acknowledge - Often all it takes to change your current stressed out state is to notice it. As you bring your awareness back to the present moment, you regain a sense of perspective and possibility.
- Center - Breathe. Smile. Be.
-Call someone and talk about it, better yet laugh about it.
- Read a poem.
- Listen to music.
- Take a walk or go for a run.
- Dream up some practices of your own.

Use your growing awareness to lighten up, smile, live and love in a vibrant and joyful manner. And stop taking yourself so seriously!

Have a Present Moment!

It was the 10th day of rain, and I walked into the pool locker room feeling a little soggy around the edges. I asked my pool friend, Laurie, how she was and she said, "Bright and cheery. It's a wonderful day and I'm going to accomplish a lot of good things." Laurie, who is recovering from hip surgery and on most days can be seen walking around the locker room with great care, wiggled her cane at me from under the shower.

I went for a walk that afternoon - in the rain - and enjoyed myself immensely. Later, in my car, I put on a Motown CD and moved with the rhythm. Nothing like Motown to pep you up.

It seems just when I need it, some reminder to be cheerful comes along. Like a breath of fresh air, it reminds me to notice what is good. I'm lucky and I know it, with many gifts to be grateful for - a healthy body, a solid roof over my head, good friends, and a family I love and enjoy being around.

We all have bad days and unpleasant feelings. Maybe you are having one now. It's okay. Just like the rain, this, too, shall pass. Watch, notice, breathe. Instead of resisting, honor whatever feeling you happen to be having at the moment. I sincerely hope it's a pleasant one. But if not, all the more reason to breathe it into your center and experience it fully. It will change.

Be on the look out today for reminders to be grateful, cheerful, and fully alive in this moment. It's the only one you've got.