Tampilkan postingan dengan label love. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label love. Tampilkan semua postingan
Selasa, 07 Agustus 2012
Why Men Leave (The Fantasy Relationship)
Copyright 2006 Brenda Shoshanna
"What's life without a girl friend?" asks Jimmy, a tall, forty-five year old Sicilian man, an irresistible charmer. "I never say good-bye to one without a few more waiting in the wings," he says. "It keeps me going. Is that so bad?" Then he flashes his boyish grin.
Although he never stays long, Jimmy has strong opinions on male female relationships. "There's a conflict of roles, with no roles clearly defined. "Women want monogamous relationships. Men don't want to get trapped. Men get guilty about leaving though. Believe it or not, it's hard to leave. We men do get guilty. Whatever we do we end up feeling like rats.”
Underneath all this are his feelings of dependency. Jimmy believes a man is nothing compared to a woman."A man really wants a woman to run the show," he says easily. "A guy doesn't know what's going on. But he also wants the woman to let him think he's running it. If women could only understand that -boy. It's a subtle thing.
Commenting on this issue, Dr. Robert Berk, says, "There are a lot of men who can't tolerate their own dependency on women because they experience it as emasculating. They therefore withdraw. Some downgrade the woman to make her appear a lot less valuable than she really is to them." Jimmy compensates by having as many women around as he can. This way he won't be the one to be left - an unbearable ego blow.
"A man likes a strong woman," Jimmy continued, "but she should be strong in subtle ways. In order to have a really terrific woman that he wouldn't want to leave, a man has to be confident that his love was strong enough for her so she wouldn't go somewhere else. Good women are too much for most men."
When Jimmy finally found the woman of his dreams, he saw her twice, and after that, wouldn't ever see her again. "The magic was really something. I held her close, we laughed a lot, she was terrific. Neither of us could part. It was perfect. At the end of the night we didn't take each other's numbers. We just had our night and said good-bye. We both said to each other we hoped we never saw each other again. You see, we created this incredible illusion for two nights, but could we do it again?
After what happened that night, well, it can't get better than that? I'm gonna live off that memory the rest of my life." For Jimmy, and many men like him, being truly happy, and affirmed in love can only happen in the world of illusion.
He was determined to hold onto this woman and the two nights they spent together exactly as they had been. He needed it badly. At all costs he didn't want the fantasy to be destroyed, or to see aspects of himself or her that didn't fit in.
When a man is seeking illusion, fantasy, and escape from painful conflict or feelings of low self-esteem, a brief, magical experience, in which no one is tested, becomes a substitute for real love. A fantasy love cannot be threatened or damaged. It also cannot be taken away. Of course, the contradiction inherent in this situation is that holding onto this fantasy keeps the possibility of ongoing, sustaining love away.
Cc/Brenda Shoshanna/2006
Jumat, 17 Juni 2011
How to Meet that Special Someone
Chances are unless you are very lucky you will go thru many different relationships before you find your special someone. Finding your sole mate is like gambling. In poker and blackjack you may have to play dozens of hands until you get a winning hand, and it is the same with relationships.
During your life you will probably meet some people who seem like they may be the one, or that they are close, but still have the feeling that something else is missing. My advice is that if you are not happy, because something seems like it is missing, then it usually is not right.
Before I found my special someone, I was in a relationship for over 10 years, and I thought everything was great, until I started to seriously consider getting married. Then I noticed that we had so little in common and in reality wanted so many different things out of life and one day we both realized there was much about each of us that we both wanted from someone, but it was not us that we wanted.
Then one day I decided I had enough of trying to go to clubs and bars to meet people. I was sick and tired of trying to find someone in the time it takes to finish a drink. It always seemed the ladies I would meet were all wrong for me, or they seemed great after talking to them for 5 minutes but they seemed to have no interest in me.
Then one day I had an idea, it was not an original idea but I decided to use the internet to try to find the right person for me. So I proceeded to make a myspace profile. On this page I tried to put the real me and not the funny guy trying to be charming that was looking for love at the bar.
And as I would at the poker rooms I went all in, I poured my heart and sole into this. I wrote what I wanted and wrote down who I truly think I am and not who I want to be, and I was rewarded by 1 email responding to my site.
It was amazing; the response I got was like a dream. Imagine you are sitting in a Las Vegas casino playing poker. You are down to your last few dollars, you go all in and you wind up being dealt a Royal Flush, and suddenly the sky is bluer, the grass is greener, and all your worries seem to just fade away.
At first things were a little awkward for the both of us. We decided to hold of on actually meeting until we got to know each other first. We spent a month just talking everyday on the internet. You can really open up to someone and show them the real you and not have to worry about rejection on the internet, after all you are just a faceless ghost, and if things don’t work out you could be sitting next to her on the bus one day without ever knowing it.
The key to finding happiness is realizing you are going to bust more then you are going to get blackjack, but you must keep trying, trying to remember you only need to find the real thing once.
During your life you will probably meet some people who seem like they may be the one, or that they are close, but still have the feeling that something else is missing. My advice is that if you are not happy, because something seems like it is missing, then it usually is not right.
Before I found my special someone, I was in a relationship for over 10 years, and I thought everything was great, until I started to seriously consider getting married. Then I noticed that we had so little in common and in reality wanted so many different things out of life and one day we both realized there was much about each of us that we both wanted from someone, but it was not us that we wanted.
Then one day I decided I had enough of trying to go to clubs and bars to meet people. I was sick and tired of trying to find someone in the time it takes to finish a drink. It always seemed the ladies I would meet were all wrong for me, or they seemed great after talking to them for 5 minutes but they seemed to have no interest in me.
Then one day I had an idea, it was not an original idea but I decided to use the internet to try to find the right person for me. So I proceeded to make a myspace profile. On this page I tried to put the real me and not the funny guy trying to be charming that was looking for love at the bar.
And as I would at the poker rooms I went all in, I poured my heart and sole into this. I wrote what I wanted and wrote down who I truly think I am and not who I want to be, and I was rewarded by 1 email responding to my site.
It was amazing; the response I got was like a dream. Imagine you are sitting in a Las Vegas casino playing poker. You are down to your last few dollars, you go all in and you wind up being dealt a Royal Flush, and suddenly the sky is bluer, the grass is greener, and all your worries seem to just fade away.
At first things were a little awkward for the both of us. We decided to hold of on actually meeting until we got to know each other first. We spent a month just talking everyday on the internet. You can really open up to someone and show them the real you and not have to worry about rejection on the internet, after all you are just a faceless ghost, and if things don’t work out you could be sitting next to her on the bus one day without ever knowing it.
The key to finding happiness is realizing you are going to bust more then you are going to get blackjack, but you must keep trying, trying to remember you only need to find the real thing once.
Jumat, 27 Mei 2011
Marriage Counseling: Using Games to Reduce Tension
Marriage is one of the most enjoyable but also one of the most painful experiences that people undergo. It carries with it the whiff of romance and eternal bliss, but sometimes you get a pack of thorns instead.
How Do You Ensure Your Marriage Is a Bed of Roses and not Thorns?
One of the major ingredients that a happy marriage needs is a willingness to compromise. But that is much more difficult than it seems. Everyone will agree that they need to compromise, but what happens when the issue is not a simple and tiny one? What then? Who Compromises first? I am sure you must have said to yourself at one point or another that enough is enough. You will no longer be the patsy. You are an independent person and your partner has crossed the line. Maybe.
Maybe your relationship has died and you are just beginning to realize it. Maybe your sentiments are more passionate than romantic. Maybe you no longer love her.
Stop being a fool!
What if I told you that the solution to your marital strife is not divorce. Am I mad?
Look around. How many divorces do you know? Plenty. Me too. But are they really happier off?
What is the first thing that a divorced person does? He or she goes out and starts looking for partners.
Isn't that strange? No. You say that everybody needs somebody to love. Maybe. I say that they had that somebody and they just let them go. So please stop being foolish.
Why not tackle your problems with a simple suggestion? A Game.
Games as a Peace Maker:
Playing brings out the child in us and causes us to express more than we normally would. We also release bottled up frustration and let go of mental thorns in our outbursts of joy and anguish as we win or lose. Games unite people together and therefore I suggest playing together but if you wish one can play against the other. The game turns into a battle but only this time, after its over, you will both feel refreshed from losing all that bottled up pain and anger.
Games to Pick From:
Try picking games that both of you like or at least somewhat active ones. You could even play hide and seek in the house or something else. If you do prefer playing cards, pick a game which does not go on for long and which requires some thinking like hearts, poker, bridge or rummy. Keep score and determine before hand that the loser has to do something for the winner. Chores is not a prize for the winner! If you lose you have to do something that that the other person wants for themselves like give them their favorite massage or cook them their favorite meal.
Conclusion:
Games are a welcome ambrosia to love and will excite you as a couple to disregard all your frustrations and anger and deal only with the good. The anger and frustrations will not magically disappear, but now you can deal with them together calmly and in a good mood.
How Do You Ensure Your Marriage Is a Bed of Roses and not Thorns?
One of the major ingredients that a happy marriage needs is a willingness to compromise. But that is much more difficult than it seems. Everyone will agree that they need to compromise, but what happens when the issue is not a simple and tiny one? What then? Who Compromises first? I am sure you must have said to yourself at one point or another that enough is enough. You will no longer be the patsy. You are an independent person and your partner has crossed the line. Maybe.
Maybe your relationship has died and you are just beginning to realize it. Maybe your sentiments are more passionate than romantic. Maybe you no longer love her.
Stop being a fool!
What if I told you that the solution to your marital strife is not divorce. Am I mad?
Look around. How many divorces do you know? Plenty. Me too. But are they really happier off?
What is the first thing that a divorced person does? He or she goes out and starts looking for partners.
Isn't that strange? No. You say that everybody needs somebody to love. Maybe. I say that they had that somebody and they just let them go. So please stop being foolish.
Why not tackle your problems with a simple suggestion? A Game.
Games as a Peace Maker:
Playing brings out the child in us and causes us to express more than we normally would. We also release bottled up frustration and let go of mental thorns in our outbursts of joy and anguish as we win or lose. Games unite people together and therefore I suggest playing together but if you wish one can play against the other. The game turns into a battle but only this time, after its over, you will both feel refreshed from losing all that bottled up pain and anger.
Games to Pick From:
Try picking games that both of you like or at least somewhat active ones. You could even play hide and seek in the house or something else. If you do prefer playing cards, pick a game which does not go on for long and which requires some thinking like hearts, poker, bridge or rummy. Keep score and determine before hand that the loser has to do something for the winner. Chores is not a prize for the winner! If you lose you have to do something that that the other person wants for themselves like give them their favorite massage or cook them their favorite meal.
Conclusion:
Games are a welcome ambrosia to love and will excite you as a couple to disregard all your frustrations and anger and deal only with the good. The anger and frustrations will not magically disappear, but now you can deal with them together calmly and in a good mood.
Kamis, 17 Maret 2011
Life And Sharing
Life is very precious. We take every day as if it does not matter. Most of us do that. Ask a terminal patient, who has been given only few days to live and you will realize the way we all spend our lives without truly valuing it.
Think of your own life. Imagine that you will be die after a week, strongly imagine that and watch your thinking. Your priorities will undergo a very big change. Your first priority may no longer be to finish that office report, but call up few friends and sharing your thoughts with them. Make a list of what all you would wish to accomplish in the next seven days, before you die. You will be surprised at your own list. You will realize the difference between important and urgent immediately. All the urgencies will become secondary and all the important tasks will become primary.
Most of our urgencies relate to small things in our life, but they eat away our vital living. Coming back to the title of this article - sharing, what is it? Watch few married couples, or few couples in love and observe the differences amongst all of them. At one end, you will find couples who share even the smallest incident and detail, who love to tell each other about everything and at the other end, you will find couples, who are not able to open up to each other at all. They keep most of their life to themselves and go through the relationship quite mechanically. Keeping every problem, every emotion and every thought to themselves, the partners do not talk to each other about anything other than what is needed to carry on life. This is a waste of life and this is a waste of a relationship. This kind of life gives no real inner satisfaction. It is a very lonely existence with a pretense of living together.
Life is valuable and it has be enjoyed deeply. For that, a couple has to be so open to each other that each one should know everything about the other. Have you read about twins? You must have. They behave similarly and think similarly. A couple may not be able to reach that level of sharing, but surely somewhere close to that. The problem with most of us is simple - we are all running after a mirage. A mirage of happiness. We believe that more money, more success, more technology and more of everything will gives us more in life. The reverse is true. Living is beyond all this outer paraphernalia. Living means sharing and being truthful to oneself and to each other. Only that living satisfies. Begin thinking that you will die after seven days and start writing about what all you would like to do in this period to get some satisfaction while dying. Your priorities will change dramatically. Please do this and find out what is that in life, which makes your existence vibrant.
Think of your own life. Imagine that you will be die after a week, strongly imagine that and watch your thinking. Your priorities will undergo a very big change. Your first priority may no longer be to finish that office report, but call up few friends and sharing your thoughts with them. Make a list of what all you would wish to accomplish in the next seven days, before you die. You will be surprised at your own list. You will realize the difference between important and urgent immediately. All the urgencies will become secondary and all the important tasks will become primary.
Most of our urgencies relate to small things in our life, but they eat away our vital living. Coming back to the title of this article - sharing, what is it? Watch few married couples, or few couples in love and observe the differences amongst all of them. At one end, you will find couples who share even the smallest incident and detail, who love to tell each other about everything and at the other end, you will find couples, who are not able to open up to each other at all. They keep most of their life to themselves and go through the relationship quite mechanically. Keeping every problem, every emotion and every thought to themselves, the partners do not talk to each other about anything other than what is needed to carry on life. This is a waste of life and this is a waste of a relationship. This kind of life gives no real inner satisfaction. It is a very lonely existence with a pretense of living together.
Life is valuable and it has be enjoyed deeply. For that, a couple has to be so open to each other that each one should know everything about the other. Have you read about twins? You must have. They behave similarly and think similarly. A couple may not be able to reach that level of sharing, but surely somewhere close to that. The problem with most of us is simple - we are all running after a mirage. A mirage of happiness. We believe that more money, more success, more technology and more of everything will gives us more in life. The reverse is true. Living is beyond all this outer paraphernalia. Living means sharing and being truthful to oneself and to each other. Only that living satisfies. Begin thinking that you will die after seven days and start writing about what all you would like to do in this period to get some satisfaction while dying. Your priorities will change dramatically. Please do this and find out what is that in life, which makes your existence vibrant.
Sabtu, 20 November 2010
Your Thinking style - Test It
Thinking it is said is one of the toughest things to do. Many of us say that they will think about something and then revert. You must have heard this many times. Do these people really think? What do they do? Do they look at the problem in total perspective, think about different actions that could be taken and find out the consequences and then find out the best option? No, not many of us do that.
Most of us do sloppy thinking. We don't strain our mind, but find out a convenient answer that does not need much thinking and present that as their conclusion. We come across many issues in our life. Dating, studying, taking a career, selecting a job, look for a home, and so on. Do we think about every option and weigh it or find out cursory details and decide?
You must have read lot of history and geography. How many times did you think about the times described, about the people, the kind of lives they led and their knowledge? not many of us do that. Every news that we come across has something to think about. But we don't. Why none of us thinks about why all of us want to know so much about how celebrities live and their love and career? What does that information give us except some entertainment for few minutes? But we don't think. We don't think about how to use our time effectively.
Do we think about what our political leaders say? Do we think about why we are looking for a date? Do we think about why our relationship is breaking? We pretend to think. But we don't normally carry out any analysis. Sloppy thinking leads us nowhere. It produces bad results. To think means - to try and understand every aspect of the given problem, its past and what the future may entail.
What kind of thinker are you? Why not find out with some fun quizzes about your personality. They will surely make you think.
Most of us do sloppy thinking. We don't strain our mind, but find out a convenient answer that does not need much thinking and present that as their conclusion. We come across many issues in our life. Dating, studying, taking a career, selecting a job, look for a home, and so on. Do we think about every option and weigh it or find out cursory details and decide?
You must have read lot of history and geography. How many times did you think about the times described, about the people, the kind of lives they led and their knowledge? not many of us do that. Every news that we come across has something to think about. But we don't. Why none of us thinks about why all of us want to know so much about how celebrities live and their love and career? What does that information give us except some entertainment for few minutes? But we don't think. We don't think about how to use our time effectively.
Do we think about what our political leaders say? Do we think about why we are looking for a date? Do we think about why our relationship is breaking? We pretend to think. But we don't normally carry out any analysis. Sloppy thinking leads us nowhere. It produces bad results. To think means - to try and understand every aspect of the given problem, its past and what the future may entail.
What kind of thinker are you? Why not find out with some fun quizzes about your personality. They will surely make you think.
Kamis, 28 Oktober 2010
Emotions- Why Do We Have Them?
We as human beings have a body and a mind. With the body, we move around and do work. With the mind, we think, and experience emotions. Imagine of a human being with no emotions whatsoever. Only a thinking machine who reacts to nothing emotional but makes scientific analysis. Imagine telling a joke to him/her. They will not laugh at it, but either ignore it or analyze the joke. They make life difficult for those around them.
After all what is a person without any emotions?
Why do we have emotions at all? Your computer on which you are sitting right now is a perfect machine to analyze, think and give results. It has no emotions. It is only an intelligent machine. Why are human beings not like that? Would life be better if we had no emotions? We would lose all the charm of living if there was no trace of any emotion in any of us. Let us take some situations. A death - people gather, complete the ceremonies and depart. No wet eyes, no remembering the dead soul, no sense of loss. The law of nature is simple. One who is born has to die. So only intelligent understanding of that but no feeling of loss. Can you visualize the scene?
Love, what is love, if not an emotion? So there will be no love. People will meet, produce children and get away from each other. No love, no romance. What about family? They may have a family for the children to grow up. Then the family will get separated. Coming to achievements, discoveries and inventions. Why will a person without any emotions, feel good by achievements or get excited with discoveries? So nothing great. Only minimum existence needs to be met. It is the time for us now in this discussion to imagine of everything we do in life. Practically all our actions are governed by emotions. Imagine a person winning an Olympics gold medal and walking away without any expression! Think of more situations and you will realize the role of emotions in life.
We have emotions, because we are not low-level animals. Because even dogs and cats have emotions. We have emotions because they make us enjoy life. They make us perform great things and they make us human.
After all what is a person without any emotions?
Why do we have emotions at all? Your computer on which you are sitting right now is a perfect machine to analyze, think and give results. It has no emotions. It is only an intelligent machine. Why are human beings not like that? Would life be better if we had no emotions? We would lose all the charm of living if there was no trace of any emotion in any of us. Let us take some situations. A death - people gather, complete the ceremonies and depart. No wet eyes, no remembering the dead soul, no sense of loss. The law of nature is simple. One who is born has to die. So only intelligent understanding of that but no feeling of loss. Can you visualize the scene?
Love, what is love, if not an emotion? So there will be no love. People will meet, produce children and get away from each other. No love, no romance. What about family? They may have a family for the children to grow up. Then the family will get separated. Coming to achievements, discoveries and inventions. Why will a person without any emotions, feel good by achievements or get excited with discoveries? So nothing great. Only minimum existence needs to be met. It is the time for us now in this discussion to imagine of everything we do in life. Practically all our actions are governed by emotions. Imagine a person winning an Olympics gold medal and walking away without any expression! Think of more situations and you will realize the role of emotions in life.
We have emotions, because we are not low-level animals. Because even dogs and cats have emotions. We have emotions because they make us enjoy life. They make us perform great things and they make us human.
Rabu, 13 Oktober 2010
Test Your Personality - Are You Obsessed With Your Body?
The age of meterosexual men is here. Gone are the days with men used to enjoy feel like a cowboy. The cosmetic companies have a bigger market in men than women. It has all to do with the new man's obsession with his body. He wants to look clean, young and smart in a different way. Don't think women are behind. The days when a dash of foundation and some lipstick were enough to look good are gone long ago. Today it is the latest anti aging creams, anti wrinkle therapies and what not. Test yourself now and find out if you are one of them?
Let us begin from the body. We all want to look good. No body wants to age. No wrinkles are acceptable. No spots are permitted. Why? Are we all known only by our bodies? Look back at the history and think of your heroes. Do you remember anything about their bodies, except how they looked or their deeds? The greatest men and women of history were quite ordinary looking, and I wonder if any of them had any time to look after his/her beauty.
This all has to do with our priorities. If you test yourself about your priorities, what comes first - To look good or to do a good deed? If you take a quick survey, you will be amazed at the results. Body has taken the first priority. To look good, to dress up with the latest designer clothes and to show off the latest accessories is the law of the day. Every man wants to build muscles, get pedicures and manicures done, go through facials and every woman is searching for that bottle of magic that will always keep her looking young. Please test yourself about your personality and find out if you are obsessed with your body. Look at the results and give a deep thought about the legacy you will leave behind.
Let us begin from the body. We all want to look good. No body wants to age. No wrinkles are acceptable. No spots are permitted. Why? Are we all known only by our bodies? Look back at the history and think of your heroes. Do you remember anything about their bodies, except how they looked or their deeds? The greatest men and women of history were quite ordinary looking, and I wonder if any of them had any time to look after his/her beauty.
This all has to do with our priorities. If you test yourself about your priorities, what comes first - To look good or to do a good deed? If you take a quick survey, you will be amazed at the results. Body has taken the first priority. To look good, to dress up with the latest designer clothes and to show off the latest accessories is the law of the day. Every man wants to build muscles, get pedicures and manicures done, go through facials and every woman is searching for that bottle of magic that will always keep her looking young. Please test yourself about your personality and find out if you are obsessed with your body. Look at the results and give a deep thought about the legacy you will leave behind.
Minggu, 20 Juni 2010
Citas a Ciegas
Para todo aquel que busque encontrar su alma gemela, media naranja, amor, enamorarse, un compañero de emociones o como quieras llamarlo es algo difícil de encontrar. Para algunos desde ya no es algo complicado, les ha pasado a los 15 años, 18, 22, en fin ya comparten el día y la mayor parte de sus vidas con alguien desde hace mucho. A otros, sin embargo les es más complicado y duro de encontrar.
La experiencia de las citas a ciegas es algo inolvidable, bueno o malo puede ser interesante. Como dicen, la experiencia es cuando no encuentras lo que buscas. Sin embargo hay casos en que esta experiencia se vuelve en lo que uno busca.
Si eres de aquellos que creen en que un amigo, familia o alguien que te conoce puede llegar a tener a alguien con el cual encuentres lo que buscas, la pregunta es ¿Por qué no probar?
En mi caso personal, experimente varias citas a ciegas y amigas mías también lo hicieron. Algunas fueron sorprendentes, en el sentido de buenas y otras de malas. Es como un juego de ruleta una pequeña probabilidad en muchas de que salgas feliz o que algo interesante salga de ello.
Una amiga de mi mama quiso que conozca al hermano de su nuera. Cuando llegue al lugar de la cita y lo vi, rápidamente me di cuenta de que no era para mi pero quizás podía pasar un buen rato. El chico, trajo consigo un poema que había escrito y quería decírmelo. Era una situación muy rara e incomoda ya que el y yo no concordábamos en nada y no teníamos nada que ver. El problema era que la amiga de mi mama no me conocía tanto, y creía que si. Es por eso que la cita no funciono.
En el caso de mi hermana, al mudarse a un país nuevo la única forma de conocer gente y chicos era por medio de citas. Lo gracioso de la historia es que la señora de la lavandería le propuso salir con su hijo y ella acepto. Al llegar a la cita el chico tenía labio leporino y era nada atractivo en su aspecto. Mi hermana no podía disimular no mirar a su labio y en el medio de la cita encontró a otro chico en la mesa de enfrente que le gusto.
Mi amigo, que es gay y yo salimos hace unas semanas a una fiesta con una amiga mía. Los dos se hicieron amigos y ella le comento que tiene un amigo de su clase de la universidad que también es gay y es muy lindo. Entonces arreglaron que por que no se conocían. AL final de la noche intercambiaron teléfonos y quedo ella en hablar con su amigo. Su amigo acepto y se llamaron. Al encontrarse los dos no tenían nada de lo que hablar y el otro para hacer la cita más corto no pudo disimular su desinterés y hacia todo rápido para irse antes.
En fin, las citas a ciegas son algo que debes hacer si la persona que los conecta los conoce bien y puede llegar a saber que te gustara de la otra persona o que buscas. Sin embargo no hay certeza de que saldrás contento de una forma u otra. Puede pasar que de casualidad la persona te encante y que si tienes la mente abierta saldrás ganando.
La experiencia de las citas a ciegas es algo inolvidable, bueno o malo puede ser interesante. Como dicen, la experiencia es cuando no encuentras lo que buscas. Sin embargo hay casos en que esta experiencia se vuelve en lo que uno busca.
Si eres de aquellos que creen en que un amigo, familia o alguien que te conoce puede llegar a tener a alguien con el cual encuentres lo que buscas, la pregunta es ¿Por qué no probar?
En mi caso personal, experimente varias citas a ciegas y amigas mías también lo hicieron. Algunas fueron sorprendentes, en el sentido de buenas y otras de malas. Es como un juego de ruleta una pequeña probabilidad en muchas de que salgas feliz o que algo interesante salga de ello.
Una amiga de mi mama quiso que conozca al hermano de su nuera. Cuando llegue al lugar de la cita y lo vi, rápidamente me di cuenta de que no era para mi pero quizás podía pasar un buen rato. El chico, trajo consigo un poema que había escrito y quería decírmelo. Era una situación muy rara e incomoda ya que el y yo no concordábamos en nada y no teníamos nada que ver. El problema era que la amiga de mi mama no me conocía tanto, y creía que si. Es por eso que la cita no funciono.
En el caso de mi hermana, al mudarse a un país nuevo la única forma de conocer gente y chicos era por medio de citas. Lo gracioso de la historia es que la señora de la lavandería le propuso salir con su hijo y ella acepto. Al llegar a la cita el chico tenía labio leporino y era nada atractivo en su aspecto. Mi hermana no podía disimular no mirar a su labio y en el medio de la cita encontró a otro chico en la mesa de enfrente que le gusto.
Mi amigo, que es gay y yo salimos hace unas semanas a una fiesta con una amiga mía. Los dos se hicieron amigos y ella le comento que tiene un amigo de su clase de la universidad que también es gay y es muy lindo. Entonces arreglaron que por que no se conocían. AL final de la noche intercambiaron teléfonos y quedo ella en hablar con su amigo. Su amigo acepto y se llamaron. Al encontrarse los dos no tenían nada de lo que hablar y el otro para hacer la cita más corto no pudo disimular su desinterés y hacia todo rápido para irse antes.
En fin, las citas a ciegas son algo que debes hacer si la persona que los conecta los conoce bien y puede llegar a saber que te gustara de la otra persona o que buscas. Sin embargo no hay certeza de que saldrás contento de una forma u otra. Puede pasar que de casualidad la persona te encante y que si tienes la mente abierta saldrás ganando.
Selasa, 15 Juni 2010
Charisma, Love and Health
This is an amazing story. It's about my friend Robert. Robert is one of those really charismatic people. You know the kind I mean. Wherever he goes, people are just drawn to him, its truly a sight to behold.
At dinner the other night, Robert's charm drew the waiters in and they conversed with him a great deal. However, when I spoke up, the waiters didn't seem to pay much attention. They may have even been a little dismissive. It was as if the only person at the table was Robert. The difference was Robert's charisma. He has that special way about him that we all sometimes wished we had.
Anyway, in order to find out what that special something was, I decided to interview Robert. I captured about 2 hours worth of questions and answers with him.
Here is what I found out. Robert basically, though he might not say this directly, 'loves' people when he talks to them.
He has genuine concern and positive regard. He likes to focus in on one thing that he finds especially interesting about a person when he talks to them. It doesn't matter if he tells the person what that thing is or not, it seems to have the same effect. Try it and see what happens.
Now, how does that relate to health? Well you see, my article on the mind-body connection discusses the principle that Bernie Siegel wrote about in his book, Love, Medicine and Miracles. It seems that when his cancer patients revolutionized their thinking to become more loving and accepting of others, their cancer often went into remission.
You see, what Robert does with people, is love them when he talks to them. Keep in mind that love is an action, it is not an idea that sits there, it is active. Bernie's cancer patients loved those around them more and as a result their health improved.
Now do you see the connection between charisma, love and health? By loving others, not only can your health improve, but your social life improves as well.
So what are you waiting for? Start looking for ways to love others more and watch your life improve in every aspect. This could be the most important thing you'll read today. Why not share it with a friend?
This article is for information purposes only. If you have or think you have a health problem, visit your doctor for diagnoses and treatment.
At dinner the other night, Robert's charm drew the waiters in and they conversed with him a great deal. However, when I spoke up, the waiters didn't seem to pay much attention. They may have even been a little dismissive. It was as if the only person at the table was Robert. The difference was Robert's charisma. He has that special way about him that we all sometimes wished we had.
Anyway, in order to find out what that special something was, I decided to interview Robert. I captured about 2 hours worth of questions and answers with him.
Here is what I found out. Robert basically, though he might not say this directly, 'loves' people when he talks to them.
He has genuine concern and positive regard. He likes to focus in on one thing that he finds especially interesting about a person when he talks to them. It doesn't matter if he tells the person what that thing is or not, it seems to have the same effect. Try it and see what happens.
Now, how does that relate to health? Well you see, my article on the mind-body connection discusses the principle that Bernie Siegel wrote about in his book, Love, Medicine and Miracles. It seems that when his cancer patients revolutionized their thinking to become more loving and accepting of others, their cancer often went into remission.
You see, what Robert does with people, is love them when he talks to them. Keep in mind that love is an action, it is not an idea that sits there, it is active. Bernie's cancer patients loved those around them more and as a result their health improved.
Now do you see the connection between charisma, love and health? By loving others, not only can your health improve, but your social life improves as well.
So what are you waiting for? Start looking for ways to love others more and watch your life improve in every aspect. This could be the most important thing you'll read today. Why not share it with a friend?
This article is for information purposes only. If you have or think you have a health problem, visit your doctor for diagnoses and treatment.
Minggu, 06 Juni 2010
Are you ready for LOVE?
Are you at a place in your life where you aren’t attracting the love you want?Has your current relationship lost its sizzle? What prevents you from being ‘in love’? How much energy do you exert NOT to love yourself or others? It takes more effort NOT to love, than to love.
Want More Love and Joy?
In order to make room for what you do want, you have to release and let go of the things you don’t want. To attract what you want, you will want to let go of everything that keeps you away from Love. Like attracts like.
Unless you want to continue on your current path, you are probably overdue of letting go of emotional pain of a break-up, past failures or the need for approval. Maybe you continuously seek recognition at work or have unrealistic expectations for yourself. Thoughts like, “I’m not attractive” or “I will never have a loving relationship” need to be purged.
What You Resist – Persists
As long as you continue to resist painful memories and limiting thoughts and beliefs you create separation. You create separation from your true self. You separate yourself from what you are ‘love’! And, love remains illusive.
Are you resisting painful experiences from your past? Are you doing everything you can to forget the past? Maybe you think that the more you put your past behind you, the less effect it will have on you.
Do you spend hours contemplating problems? When you focus on your problems, they persist. Your contempt for your problems fuels and strengthens them. The more energy you direct to your problems and pain, you create ‘stress’ and ‘dis-ease’.
Are You Holding on to Pain?
Do you find yourself watching endless hours of TV? Are you trying to escape emotional and spiritual pain by taking drugs or alcohol? Do you overeat to escape the pain? Do you use your computer for hours on end to escape? What distractions take you out of being present with what you are feeling? Stored up pain such as hatred, anger, fear, frustration, apathy, depression etc. become scattered in your body and energetic space.
Releasing Stuck Pain or Resistance
If you have ever been light-headed from hunger and then felt a sigh of contentment as you fed your body the perfect meal, you’ve experienced grounding. If you’ve ever melted into the back rub you got from a trusted person at the end of a stressful day, you’ve experienced being grounded.
Grounding is a simple process of connecting to the Earth that many people do naturally throughout the course of a day. Anything that brings you to the sense of pleasure and release is grounding. When you are grounded, you feel centered focused, and present.
People connect with their bodies and the Earth in many ways: through touch and body work, through eating, through being out in nature or in water, through contact with animals and through healthy sex. Visualizing, an imaginary grounding cord, is a way to release foreign energy from your body so that it can experience love and joy.
Create a Path for Releasing to Feel Safe and Happy
A grounding cord provides a way to flush out pent up energy and emotion so you can feel good about yourself. It is a way to move energy as it comes towards you, rather than letting it get stuck in the body. When foreign energy gets stuck in the body, it stops the natural flow of energy and might manifest as depression, a migraine headache, aches, pain, or eventually illness.
Effortless Release Every Day for More Love
Grounding works much like a drain or waterfall. When you pour water down the drain you probably never wonder ….:”where did it go?” Be patient with yourself and have fun with your new toy. Grounding becomes as natural like breathing or smiling with practice.
Consider releasing other people’s problems, your worries and anxiety that are weighing you down... Keep it simple and stay amused with yourself. Tune into being in harmony with this process of grounding and letting everything go effortlessly.
Grounding is such an invaluable tool in healing yourself that it’s worth taking the time to be sure you can do it easily and comfortably. With practice, you can train yourself to be connected with the earth all of the time. Don’t create any limits for yourself on how much you can release without effort.
Grounding Cord Visualization
To revitalize and refresh your body, mind and spirit take the first step by letting go with grounding. It is always the first step to all the subsequent steps in this book. From the base of your spine, make a connection to the healing planet energy to release excess energy and stabilize your body.
1. Close eyes but stay focused.
• Be aware of own body with your feet flat on the floor.
Create a mental image of line of energy between base of spine and the center of the planet.
• Connect a grounding cord into the center of earth.
• Secure the grounding cord snuggly at the base of your spine.
• Notice your breathing.
• Using the gravitational pull of the planet start to release foreign or stuck energy from your body and aura.
• Notice how your body feels while grounding. Imagine seeing stuck energy draining out of you.
Remember to:
1. Start your day with by grounding yourself.
2. Check in with yourself during the day to see if you have a grounding cord.
3. Notice what happens in your body as you release using your grounding cord.
Grounding is one way to bring your self back into alignment with your essence– love. Practice the following grounding meditation 10-15 minutes each day. The more you practice to better your results.
Amirah © 2006 All Rights Reserved.
You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
Want More Love and Joy?
In order to make room for what you do want, you have to release and let go of the things you don’t want. To attract what you want, you will want to let go of everything that keeps you away from Love. Like attracts like.
Unless you want to continue on your current path, you are probably overdue of letting go of emotional pain of a break-up, past failures or the need for approval. Maybe you continuously seek recognition at work or have unrealistic expectations for yourself. Thoughts like, “I’m not attractive” or “I will never have a loving relationship” need to be purged.
What You Resist – Persists
As long as you continue to resist painful memories and limiting thoughts and beliefs you create separation. You create separation from your true self. You separate yourself from what you are ‘love’! And, love remains illusive.
Are you resisting painful experiences from your past? Are you doing everything you can to forget the past? Maybe you think that the more you put your past behind you, the less effect it will have on you.
Do you spend hours contemplating problems? When you focus on your problems, they persist. Your contempt for your problems fuels and strengthens them. The more energy you direct to your problems and pain, you create ‘stress’ and ‘dis-ease’.
Are You Holding on to Pain?
Do you find yourself watching endless hours of TV? Are you trying to escape emotional and spiritual pain by taking drugs or alcohol? Do you overeat to escape the pain? Do you use your computer for hours on end to escape? What distractions take you out of being present with what you are feeling? Stored up pain such as hatred, anger, fear, frustration, apathy, depression etc. become scattered in your body and energetic space.
Releasing Stuck Pain or Resistance
If you have ever been light-headed from hunger and then felt a sigh of contentment as you fed your body the perfect meal, you’ve experienced grounding. If you’ve ever melted into the back rub you got from a trusted person at the end of a stressful day, you’ve experienced being grounded.
Grounding is a simple process of connecting to the Earth that many people do naturally throughout the course of a day. Anything that brings you to the sense of pleasure and release is grounding. When you are grounded, you feel centered focused, and present.
People connect with their bodies and the Earth in many ways: through touch and body work, through eating, through being out in nature or in water, through contact with animals and through healthy sex. Visualizing, an imaginary grounding cord, is a way to release foreign energy from your body so that it can experience love and joy.
Create a Path for Releasing to Feel Safe and Happy
A grounding cord provides a way to flush out pent up energy and emotion so you can feel good about yourself. It is a way to move energy as it comes towards you, rather than letting it get stuck in the body. When foreign energy gets stuck in the body, it stops the natural flow of energy and might manifest as depression, a migraine headache, aches, pain, or eventually illness.
Effortless Release Every Day for More Love
Grounding works much like a drain or waterfall. When you pour water down the drain you probably never wonder ….:”where did it go?” Be patient with yourself and have fun with your new toy. Grounding becomes as natural like breathing or smiling with practice.
Consider releasing other people’s problems, your worries and anxiety that are weighing you down... Keep it simple and stay amused with yourself. Tune into being in harmony with this process of grounding and letting everything go effortlessly.
Grounding is such an invaluable tool in healing yourself that it’s worth taking the time to be sure you can do it easily and comfortably. With practice, you can train yourself to be connected with the earth all of the time. Don’t create any limits for yourself on how much you can release without effort.
Grounding Cord Visualization
To revitalize and refresh your body, mind and spirit take the first step by letting go with grounding. It is always the first step to all the subsequent steps in this book. From the base of your spine, make a connection to the healing planet energy to release excess energy and stabilize your body.
1. Close eyes but stay focused.
• Be aware of own body with your feet flat on the floor.
Create a mental image of line of energy between base of spine and the center of the planet.
• Connect a grounding cord into the center of earth.
• Secure the grounding cord snuggly at the base of your spine.
• Notice your breathing.
• Using the gravitational pull of the planet start to release foreign or stuck energy from your body and aura.
• Notice how your body feels while grounding. Imagine seeing stuck energy draining out of you.
Remember to:
1. Start your day with by grounding yourself.
2. Check in with yourself during the day to see if you have a grounding cord.
3. Notice what happens in your body as you release using your grounding cord.
Grounding is one way to bring your self back into alignment with your essence– love. Practice the following grounding meditation 10-15 minutes each day. The more you practice to better your results.
Amirah © 2006 All Rights Reserved.
You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
Minggu, 17 Januari 2010
5 Reasons To Not Let Depression Control You Anymore!
Family – It can be very vexing to loved one’s when you are depressed. On one hand they want nothing but the best for you, but on the other they sometimes get frustrated and wonder why you can’t simply snap out of it. It can be particularly hard on children of someone with depression as it may affect their outlook on life for many years to come. Having experienced this myself, I can say definitely this the number one reason to fight your depression.
Work - Work life general...
Family – It can be very vexing to loved one’s when you are depressed. On one hand they want nothing but the best for you, but on the other they sometimes get frustrated and wonder why you can’t simply snap out of it. It can be particularly hard on children of someone with depression as it may affect their outlook on life for many years to come. Having experienced this myself, I can say definitely this the number one reason to fight your depression.
Work - Work life generally suffers when in the throws of depression. It is more difficult to concentrate and not as easy to create and maintain good professional working relationships and partnerships. Furthermore, it makes being a “Self-starter” more unlikely. Rather than moving forward, maintaining the status-quo becomes more acceptable, even if only unconsciously.
Love – The love life of a person with depression can suffer tremendously. Regardless of How much someone may profess their dedication to another person, if the other person can never see the bright side, it can wear on them. Life is short, right? Love conquers A WHOLE LOT, but it doesn’t conquer everything. Sometimes we must add internal fortitude to love to truly be invincible. Besides isn’t it better to fight, not just for you, but for this person that you love as well?
Health – University studies have proven that people who are depressed are more likely to get sick, and more likely to die of an illness than those who are content. It is in your benefit, health wise, to fight your depression as well. A recent New York Times article, citing a University study, indicated that persons who have been diagnosed as depressed have more hospital visits, and a shorter lifespan.
Prosperity – The depressed person sometimes lacks clarity of thought, and may miss golden opportunities to improve their lives if only they had been paying attention. This may be, perhaps, the most important point, since many people believe they would be happier if only this part of their life, or that part of their life, etc was different. Allowing good things to happen in your life might just give you the jump start needed to end the cycle of depression and self imposed-isolation( even if only figuratively ).
Fighting depression can help your life in many ways. In some ways, the fight in itself is also a reward. You become stronger, do better at work, have better relationships, and can focus on what is really important in life so that you can improve it, for yourself, your family, friends, and loved ones.
Work - Work life general...
Family – It can be very vexing to loved one’s when you are depressed. On one hand they want nothing but the best for you, but on the other they sometimes get frustrated and wonder why you can’t simply snap out of it. It can be particularly hard on children of someone with depression as it may affect their outlook on life for many years to come. Having experienced this myself, I can say definitely this the number one reason to fight your depression.
Work - Work life generally suffers when in the throws of depression. It is more difficult to concentrate and not as easy to create and maintain good professional working relationships and partnerships. Furthermore, it makes being a “Self-starter” more unlikely. Rather than moving forward, maintaining the status-quo becomes more acceptable, even if only unconsciously.
Love – The love life of a person with depression can suffer tremendously. Regardless of How much someone may profess their dedication to another person, if the other person can never see the bright side, it can wear on them. Life is short, right? Love conquers A WHOLE LOT, but it doesn’t conquer everything. Sometimes we must add internal fortitude to love to truly be invincible. Besides isn’t it better to fight, not just for you, but for this person that you love as well?
Health – University studies have proven that people who are depressed are more likely to get sick, and more likely to die of an illness than those who are content. It is in your benefit, health wise, to fight your depression as well. A recent New York Times article, citing a University study, indicated that persons who have been diagnosed as depressed have more hospital visits, and a shorter lifespan.
Prosperity – The depressed person sometimes lacks clarity of thought, and may miss golden opportunities to improve their lives if only they had been paying attention. This may be, perhaps, the most important point, since many people believe they would be happier if only this part of their life, or that part of their life, etc was different. Allowing good things to happen in your life might just give you the jump start needed to end the cycle of depression and self imposed-isolation( even if only figuratively ).
Fighting depression can help your life in many ways. In some ways, the fight in itself is also a reward. You become stronger, do better at work, have better relationships, and can focus on what is really important in life so that you can improve it, for yourself, your family, friends, and loved ones.
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