Laughter: Use It to Pick Up Women

Humour, some say, is the fruit of life, and this is especially true when it comes to picking up on a girl no matter where the location. Make them laugh, and I guarantee, that you are very close to getting their phone number and even to getting them to go out with you.

But, as we all know, making them laugh, is easier said than done. Precisely for those who find it difficult to come up with something funny to say, I am adding some funny anecdotes and wise cracks that you can memorize and then use in those situations where you need to get the girl in front of you to laugh.

1) The Prescription:
Did you hear of the lady, who walked into the pharmacist and asked for arsenic?
The man behind the counter asked in wonder, "What do you need that for?
The lady calmly replied," to kill my husband."
The pharmacist was taken aback," Are you crazy? Do you want to get us both into jail? And, anyway, why do you want to kill him? Go to a counselor. Get help for your marriage."
The lady paused and from her purse she removed a set of pictures of her husband and the wife of the pharmacist in some very creative postures.
The pharmacist looked at the snaps, put them down and smiled," lady, why did you not tell me that you have a prescription?"

2) The Tip Book
A wife calls out to her husband, "Have you seen the book, 101 Tips to Live for More Than a Hundred Years?
The husband sheepishly replies, "I burnt it."
"What?" the wife shouted out," why?"
The husband whispered back," Because your mother wanted to read it."

3) Range of Food
Looking at his wife fry meat balls in all kinds of shapes and sizes, Tom tapped her on the shoulder, "Why?"
His wife turned," Because you asked for a variety of food."

4) Mushrooms
Tom was picking mushrooms from the forest floor with his wife, when she picked up one and showed it to Tom," Is this for eating?"
Tom smiled," Yes. As long as you do not cook it."

5) Driving Around
Tom greeted his wife when she returned home," So, my dear, how was your first time driving all alone?"
His wife smiled coyly, "Do you want to hear it from me or read about it in the papers?

6) Drama
A couple are watching a film in their local theater when the wife snuggles close to her husband and points to the screen," Do you think that they will get married in the end?"
The husband sighs," Yes. These movies always have bad endings."

7) The Library
Tom visited the local library, walks up to the librarian and asks, "Do you know where I can find the book, the Supremacy of Men over Women?"
The librarian conducts a short search on the computer and looks up," you will be able to find it in the science fiction."

Conclusion:
While some of these might sound offensive, if you use them well you will be able to display not just a sense of humour, but also that you are exactly the opposite of the stereotype. How? Immediately, after you done, lean over and whisper, But I am not like that, and if you allow me to take you out, you will see that for yourself.

Marriage Counseling: Using Games to Reduce Tension

Marriage is one of the most enjoyable but also one of the most painful experiences that people undergo. It carries with it the whiff of romance and eternal bliss, but sometimes you get a pack of thorns instead.

How Do You Ensure Your Marriage Is a Bed of Roses and not Thorns?
One of the major ingredients that a happy marriage needs is a willingness to compromise. But that is much more difficult than it seems. Everyone will agree that they need to compromise, but what happens when the issue is not a simple and tiny one? What then? Who Compromises first? I am sure you must have said to yourself at one point or another that enough is enough. You will no longer be the patsy. You are an independent person and your partner has crossed the line. Maybe.

Maybe your relationship has died and you are just beginning to realize it. Maybe your sentiments are more passionate than romantic. Maybe you no longer love her.

Stop being a fool!
What if I told you that the solution to your marital strife is not divorce. Am I mad?

Look around. How many divorces do you know? Plenty. Me too. But are they really happier off?

What is the first thing that a divorced person does? He or she goes out and starts looking for partners.

Isn't that strange? No. You say that everybody needs somebody to love. Maybe. I say that they had that somebody and they just let them go. So please stop being foolish.

Why not tackle your problems with a simple suggestion? A Game.

Games as a Peace Maker:
Playing brings out the child in us and causes us to express more than we normally would. We also release bottled up frustration and let go of mental thorns in our outbursts of joy and anguish as we win or lose. Games unite people together and therefore I suggest playing together but if you wish one can play against the other. The game turns into a battle but only this time, after its over, you will both feel refreshed from losing all that bottled up pain and anger.

Games to Pick From:
Try picking games that both of you like or at least somewhat active ones. You could even play hide and seek in the house or something else. If you do prefer playing cards, pick a game which does not go on for long and which requires some thinking like hearts, poker, bridge or rummy. Keep score and determine before hand that the loser has to do something for the winner. Chores is not a prize for the winner! If you lose you have to do something that that the other person wants for themselves like give them their favorite massage or cook them their favorite meal.

Conclusion:
Games are a welcome ambrosia to love and will excite you as a couple to disregard all your frustrations and anger and deal only with the good. The anger and frustrations will not magically disappear, but now you can deal with them together calmly and in a good mood.

Of Morality And Integrity- A True story

Recently in India, a news appeared. The news was not shocking but must be given a second thought. A sex worker had not told her daughter about her profession and saved enough money to send her daughter for higher education to Australia. After daughter came to know the source of mother's income, the report says that the mother and daughter have come closer.

This story has great human touch of a sacrificing mother saving for her daughter to keep her daughter away from the profession she was involved in. Ok till now. What about the daughter? Should she agree to go abroad and study and let her mother continue in the profession she so hates? Should she use the money from the profession so hated by the mother that the mother has decided to keep her daughter away from it any cost? Should the daughter not persuade the mother to donate all the collected money, begin earning honorably and keep her mother away from a profession her mother feels is dishonorable?

Will the daughter come back from Australia and begin earning well, and then ask her mother to stop? Will she study happily till then all the time realizing what her mother is doing? What value for such education when the person has no values? What
value for such money that is considered dishonorable by the mother? What value for such a relationship where every thought and decision is massively confused?

If moral and right living is the goal then the daughter should ask the mother to immediately stop what she has been doing. Refuse to touch the money and help mother come out of this moral confusion. Nothing moral and good ever came out from immoral acts. No strong building can be constructed on the foundation of sand.

We sometimes forget that good life requires sacrifices. Nothing good comes out comfortably. Life is complex and takes tests at every step. Please think about this story again, and imagine of the past and future of such people and such relationships. A non-integral person never gets any peace. A non-integral person can never give any peace. A liar and a dishonest person can never preach stories of honesty.

Both the mother and the daughter should come to term with mother's deeds. Atone for the perceived sins of the mother and get on with a life that teaches frugal living but honest and moral earning. Please remember that prostitution is a dishonorable profession. This though has not come from me, but from the mother herself. Moral questions do not have easy answers. Please read this story again and decide about the moral questions that are present in front of the mother and the daughter.

Your Thinking style - Test It

Thinking it is said is one of the toughest things to do. Many of us say that they will think about something and then revert. You must have heard this many times. Do these people really think? What do they do? Do they look at the problem in total perspective, think about different actions that could be taken and find out the consequences and then find out the best option? No, not many of us do that.

Most of us do sloppy thinking. We don't strain our mind, but find out a convenient answer that does not need much thinking and present that as their conclusion. We come across many issues in our life. Dating, studying, taking a career, selecting a job, look for a home, and so on. Do we think about every option and weigh it or find out cursory details and decide?

You must have read lot of history and geography. How many times did you think about the times described, about the people, the kind of lives they led and their knowledge? not many of us do that. Every news that we come across has something to think about. But we don't. Why none of us thinks about why all of us want to know so much about how celebrities live and their love and career? What does that information give us except some entertainment for few minutes? But we don't think. We don't think about how to use our time effectively.

Do we think about what our political leaders say? Do we think about why we are looking for a date? Do we think about why our relationship is breaking? We pretend to think. But we don't normally carry out any analysis. Sloppy thinking leads us nowhere. It produces bad results. To think means - to try and understand every aspect of the given problem, its past and what the future may entail.

What kind of thinker are you? Why not find out with some fun quizzes about your personality. They will surely make you think.

Quiz - Are You Reliable?

We all value those friends who are reliable. It also applies to family members. We do not respect anybody who is not reliable. He/she has lost our trust. In every relationship, trust is of primary importance. If you cannot rely on me, what use am I as a friend? What about you? Are you reliable? Can your friends and family members trust you? Why not quiz yourself and find out?

What do we understand by being reliable? That means that if I give a word, I will keep that. I will not break the promise and give excuses to defend myself. To be reliable is a great asset, because then others can depend on us. That increases our respect and our esteem. Does any body respect those who are not reliable?

How to become reliable? The first step towards becoming reliable is not to promise what we cannot do. We sometimes make promises because we don't want the other person to feel bad. But after we break the promise, we not only lose his/her trust but can also be responsible for damaging their interests. You need some quick funds for a short time and I promise you that I shall give you tomorrow. I fail. In the meantime, you had finalized an order thinking that I would give the funds. What shall happen to your order? You would lose your credibility. Rather if I had told you that I would not be able to do it, initially you might feel bad, but your interests will not be hurt.

The first requirement is not to promise what I we cannot deliver. The second step is to deliver what ever we promise under all circumstances. Once we establish our reliability, every body will realize that when we say no, that means no and when we say yes, that will be done. Quiz yourself about these and find out how reliable you are.

Create Powerful Decisions From Your Vague Intentions

Copyright 2006 Andy Warren

What’s had the biggest impact on your life? Your parents, partner, career or education? Your health, social status or background? And what’s it been for the people around you? The people you work with, your friends, those you see in the media? What’s had the biggest influence in all their lives?

It all comes down to one thing. Powerful Decisions.

All great achievements can be traced back to a single Powerful Decision. When you make a decision it gives you power and control. It puts you in charge. It makes you responsible. And that’s why many people don’t like to make decisions. They want the control and power but they’re scared of the responsibility. They’re scared they may not make the right decisions and scared they might get blamed if things go wrong.

In reality, those who do make Powerful Decisions, and they are the true leaders in life, tend to get the greatest rewards. Rewards such as money, promotion, respect, admiration, personal satisfaction or some other compensation.

And those that don’t make decisions? Well they tend to get stuck in the middle management trap, where people simply stop making real decisions and their career, and their life, just grinds to a halt.

Which group feels better for you?

You’re where you are today because of the Powerful Decisions you’ve made. Each major milestone in your life has been accompanied by a Powerful Decision. As you look back, you’ll see how your Powerful Decisions stand out as markers in your life. They’re the points of change. The forks in the road that took you along the path to where you are today.

As we grow in our lives, relationships and careers, the decisions we have to make can get harder. They can have more impact and greater consequences. And some people find that hard to handle. So they stop making decisions. Can you see where that might have happened in your life? Think back to a time when you last made a really Powerful Decision. Remember how it felt. And consider how long it’s been since that last one.

Unfortunately, the more you delay a Powerful Decision the more chance it will get made for you. And it’s often not in your favour. That’s why you want to put yourself back in control and start making your own Powerful Decisions again.

Once you make a Powerful Decision you’ll find your awareness begins to open up and you start to see things that you’ve never noticed before. Opportunities and people that may have been there all along, now become apparent to you. That’s the strength of Powerful Decisions.

So is your life filled with Vague Intentions or are you making Powerful Decisions? What one Powerful Decision do you need to make today? It may be in your career, your relationship or somewhere else in your life? What Powerful Decision have you been putting off?

Make your own Powerful Decision today, and watch how your life immediately begins to change. And of course, once you’ve made your decision there’s just one more thing to do. Take Action.

5 Fun & Easy Ways To Get Out Of The Rut

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel less than great. Low, grouchy, fed-up, and bored are all words you could use to describe what I’m like on those days and I’m probably not the best company. The thing is, days like those are part of the deal with being human – it’s not an elective. There will always be off days, and that’s okay.

But what happens when you get a whole string of those off-days, maybe lasting weeks, months or even years? Too many of us say that we’re...

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel less than great. Low, grouchy, fed-up, and bored are all words you could use to describe what I’m like on those days and I’m probably not the best company. The thing is, days like those are part of the deal with being human – it’s not an elective. There will always be off days, and that’s okay.

But what happens when you get a whole string of those off-days, maybe lasting weeks, months or even years? Too many of us say that we’re in a rut, feel stuck, fed-up, or bored and admit that we don’t want things to be that way, but we don’t know what to do to change. That’s the problem, when you’re in a rut, you don’t have the energy or motivation to change things for the better, and it’s tough to find the insight or resources you need to make that jump.

Here are five fun and easy ways you can use right now to climb, or better yet, leap, out of the rut and start to get something better for yourself.

1. Do Something Differently
Life tends to run smoothly when we establish systems and routines for things, but the problem comes when things run too smoothly and we become blinded to any ideas or choices that sit outside of our routine. All the stuff we do every day becomes the norm, running on auto-pilot, and it becomes our whole world.

Start with making one or two simple changes to your day - be it at breakfast time, your radio station, gym routine, route to work, lunch routine, etc. Don’t worry about what the changes are or whether they’re right or wrong, just make a couple of simple choices that will serve you well.

Doing something differently or changing parts of your routine, instantly takes you out of the norm and allows you to shake off the things that make you feel confined. Step out of your routine and you’ll be in a position where you’re able to make different choices, see things differently and get a different result.

2. Use your Intuition

Your intuition is a powerful ally, and we all have it even though you might not recognize it. The dictionary says that intuition is:

1.a. The act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition.

1.b. Knowledge gained by the use of this faculty; a perceptive insight.

2. A sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression.

One of the best friends you'll ever have in life is your intuition, and tuning in to it and learning to trust it is something that can have some truly remarkable effects. Accessing your intuition is a bit like working and developing a muscle, but unfortunately it can be harder to locate than a bicep or quadricep, which tend to stay in the same place. Here are some quick tips for accessing and trusting it –

• Practice maintaining an open-minded, playful, experimental, non-judgmental attitude. This is the most fertile ground to tap into your intuition.

• Practice making wild guesses in your everyday life. Guess what a salesperson's name is, what a new person or place will look like or who's calling on the phone. Don't worry about getting it wrong, you're just working that muscle.

• Try a few simple observation exercises in your daily life. Whether you're in a restaurant, on a train, in a bar, or out shopping, practice noticing non-verbal behavior in others. Look for shifts in posture, eye movements, vocal tone or tempo, etc. Guess how they're feeling or what they're talking about.

3. Nourishment

Imagine you’re walking home from the supermarket with a couple of bags of groceries, but those bags have holes in them. You’re walking along merrily leaving a trail of your things behind you, but when you get home you unpack what’s left and ask, "Didn’t I have more than this?"

Nourishment is about plugging those holes in your life and making sure you have things that keep you feeling nourished – nourished in your head, nourished in your heart, and nourished in your stomach. Remember that you can’t give away what you don’t have, and can’t spend energy you’ve already spent.

It doesn’t have to be the big things in life that nourish you and it’s often the simplest little thing that strikes a chord, makes you feel like yourself again, or makes you smile from ear to ear – calling a friend, talking a walk in the park, or listening to your favorite song, for example. So what keeps you balanced? What relaxes you or makes you feel peaceful? What makes you feel like you again?

The fact is that you’re important enough to spend time taking care of yourself and it doesn’t matter what it is, just take the time to do it. If necessary, go as far as booking time in your diary. You’re the only one of you there is, so it’s your responsibility to make sure you’re okay.

4. Perfect Day

Here’s something to play with – your Perfect Day. This idea came to me a few years ago when a good friend suddenly asked me "What would be your perfect day?" I’d never been asked that before and I found myself spontaneously making up a story – telling her about my Perfect Day from the moment my eyes flickered open to the moment my head hit the pillow.

I went through each part of the day telling her what I was doing, who I was with, where we were, how it felt and what happened next. Bit by bit and without even thinking about it, I’d put together a rich, colorful, exciting, and comforting day, which still holds true as my Perfect Day. The best part is that you can start introducing little bits of your Perfect Day into your real life or working to make some of it happen. For example, in part of my Perfect Day I visit a company where I’m helping the directors and employees to focus on their strengths and to create a environment where people love to work and can be their best – and that was even before I knew that there was such a thing as coaching or that I could be a coach. My Perfect Day has now become like a good friend of mine whom I can call on whenever I want to.

So what’s your Perfect Day? Don’t think too much about it and don’t worry about it sounding silly or too grand. Just shoot from the hip and see what comes out naturally for you. Write down words, ideas, themes or a whole narrative – even draw pictures if you want to. Have fun with it, play with it – it’s your Perfect Day.

5. Get Some Fun, Fulfilment and Freedom

The Three F’s – Fun, Fulfilment, and Freedom - encompass a lot of what people are looking for in life, and also contain the solutions to having, doing and being those things. Here are some definitions,

Fun, n. - A source of enjoyment or pleasure; playful activity.

Ful-fil'ment, n. - To bring into actuality; to complete; a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires.

Free-dom, n. - The capacity to exercise choice, free will; frankness or boldness; the absence of constraint in choice or action.

Read those again. Those things are huge, deep, and broad, and are a lot simpler than we make them.

Where are you in relation to each of the Three F’s? How much of each do you have right now? How much of each do you want? Whatever gap there is, recognize that it can be closed, and that you can close it. What would things be like if you were to close that gap? What would happen if you climbed a point or two on the Fun scale? What if you could add a point to your level of Fulfilment or Freedom? How would that feel? Pretty good, right? So what one thing can you do right now to help you get more?

By themselves each of the Three F's are a powerful thing, and can really help to move you forward, enjoy where you are, and feel alive. But when the Three F's come together . . .well, just hold on to your hat and keys.

Rut? What rut?""

3 Simple Strategies For Never Losing Out Again

Life is full of ups and downs and sometimes has a few sideways thrown in too. When things go wrong or don’t go as planned, or when something happens to throw us off balance and doubt ourselves it can be tough to deal with. After all, we all want things to go well and to end up as ‘winners’. But life will always throw challenges at us, and we can’t control everything. Nor should we try. It’s not what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you that makes the differ...

Life is full of ups and downs and sometimes has a few sideways thrown in too. When things go wrong or don’t go as planned, or when something happens to throw us off balance and doubt ourselves it can be tough to deal with. After all, we all want things to go well and to end up as ‘winners’. But life will always throw challenges at us, and we can’t control everything. Nor should we try. It’s not what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you that makes the difference. Here are three easy ways that you can always come out on top.

1. Focus on Your Strengths

We’re a bunch of contradictions – sorry to break it to you. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad; sometimes hopeful, sometimes pessimistic; sometimes childish and sometimes mature. We also have a whole load of strengths and weaknesses that affect what we do and how we do it, but tend to put more focus on our weaknesses and not our strengths.

A strength is something that you do consistently well or at a near-perfect level of performance – it’s something you’re just able to do, you’re hard-wired to do it well and you get an inherent satisfaction from doing it. It could be tackling and solving complex problems, empathising with people, having a lively imagination or being able to make the perfect omelette.

Focusing on what you do well rather than what you’re not so good at makes all kinds of sense. When you look at what you’re not good at you feel bad about yourself and your ability, but when you focus on and play to your strengths you’re guaranteed to get results, and can even eliminate any negative effect your weaknesses might have.

There was a guy I worked with who hated public speaking and recognised that it was one of his weaknesses. He worked as an advertising executive and as he climbed the ladder he found he had to do more and more presentations – he’d stutter, freeze, forget his point and not perform at his best at all. But when we focused on his strengths we found that he had amazing social skills, an ability to establish great rapport with people in no time at all and had a fantastic sense of humour. Using those strengths he was able to connect easily with each person in his audience, enjoy himself a whole lot more and to deliver presentations that had fun, humour and warmth in them. He used his strengths to overwhelm his weaknesses and went from strength to strength himself.

2. Set Things Up Ahead Of Time

Sure, there will be times when you can just head into something, do brilliantly at it and get the result you were hoping for (normally if you’re playing to your strengths), but other times you might blunder forwards, wing it and not get the result you wanted. Whatever challenges or opportunities you’re facing you’ll stand a much better chance of getting a great result if you set things up to succeed ahead of time.

So what exactly do you want to happen? What solution, outcome or result would be great? Get really clear on the outcome you want from what’s facing you and how it would feel to get the outcome you’re looking for. Then start breaking it down – what can you do to set things up so that your desired outcome happens? What needs to be put in place? What will help to make what you want to happen, happen? And to ensure the best outcome, what are you willing to do?

Whatever faces you, it’s possible to get the result you want by being crystal clear about the kind of result you want and by putting effort into setting things up so that it happens. Look at this way – you’re infinitely more likely to get your most wanted result by putting time or effort into setting things up ahead of time than if you don’t. Your choice.

3. There’s No Such Thing as Losing Anyway

What’s life all about, really? Getting a good job, getting married, feeling valued, having fun? It’s about different things to different people, but to boil it down I think it’s about doing the best we can to have, do and be the best for ourselves and those we care about. Sometimes it’s a struggle and sometimes it’s a joy, but what is constant through it all is our capacity to learn, develop and grow. Humans have an unparalleled ability to learn and adapt, which is exactly why we’re able to do the best we can and find ways to have, do and be more.

That’s why everything you do takes you one step forwards and it’s only by doing one thing, then another and another that the most astounding things in our world came about. As Thomas Edison said while he was on his 207th prototype for the electric light bulb - 'I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.' He's absolutely right – everything you do that doesn’t work out is another tick in another box and another step forwards, because you know one more way not to do something and what not to do next time. You’ll never get to 100% without going from 1% to 99% first.

In all that you do, whether it turns out how you wanted it to or not, there’s the capacity for learning. That means that it’s all part of the process and everything that you do and learn is an important step forwards.

There’s no such thing as losing, only learning and growing. So here’s to your continued success!"