Beginnings and Endings Create Life that is New and Fresh

Copyright 2006 Marshall House

It seems that when I honor the ending, the beginning is more joyous. I admit, I do not always remember to honor the ending. Sometimes I just want the ending to end or the beginning to begin.

As infants, we end our time in the womb to begin our human experience. The other day, I met a less-than-one-week-old (or is that new?) baby, filled with health and wonder, beginning a new life. He was clearly ready to begin this life, keeping his Mom in labor for only thirty minutes.

I have had many beginnings/endings in my life. Probably not more than most people. Some changes have been elegant, some clumsy. Some have been so quick that I did not realize the transformation until it was essentially complete, while some have seemed so slow that I wondered if this is what is meant by eternity. Not all beginnings and endings have been sweet or desired. But each has led to more joy.

Courage and Trust

Many of the planned beginnings/endings have been pure acts of courage: to get married, to start a business, to go to graduate school, to leave a long-term marriage, to relocate my business (twice!), to move across country, to end non-satisfying relationships, and on and on. Even those changes that have not been planned have required courage to carry through.

Of course, everyone knows that the origin for the word "courage" is "heart." I feel that connection between courage and heart, however, as a matter of practicality for me, I associate courage more with the guts than with the heart. I consider that my inner promptings (which are usually heart-based) guide me to where I need to be, but to act in the midst of doubt takes guts.

Sometimes pure tenacity propels me. I have often recognized that I would not have moved to California, for example, if I had known what a grueling experience those first few years would be. I trusted the process of my inner guidance and bloomed where I was planted. Courage and trust are my keys to joy and transformation.

Creative Resistance

I have not met every life change with happy, welcoming arms. Going with kicks and screams into something new may seem like a poor attitude, but such dynamics may be precisely what I needed to propel me into the new.

In my days of training managers and others in New York State Government, I learned more about dealing with resistance than in any other setting. I learned to welcome the expression of resistance, but did not feel so adept at dealing with unexpressed (passive) resistance.

In the early years of my business, I offered experiential training programs, primarily for trainers and managers. A former police officer showed up the first day of a 3-day event, loudly displaying his skepticism. His energy was intense, a bit unnerving for some of the participants. But I welcomed his energy, hoping that he would find the inspiration to leave with the same level of intensity, with his skepticism transformed to enthusiasm.

His verbal reflection at the end of the workshop began with "where have you been all my life?" He quickly covered his embarrassment at his positive emotional expression with the explanation, "I have been waiting to have an experience in learning like this all my life. I hated school. I guess I have hated a lot in my life. Now I know that I don’t have to resist everything, I can be myself without proving something." We taught each other something that neither had experienced before. We came together for a purpose which neither of us had advance warning about, but followed the nudges to show up and co-create an experience.

Showing up for Something New

I know the value of showing up, even if sometimes I do not show up. I know that sometimes I show up physically, but am not present emotionally or mentally or spiritually. In a crowd I can easily conceal this, but in my work I cannot and do not. My clear view and deep understanding of my life purpose empowers me to show up.

Sometimes I activate a transformation simply because I crave something new. I may not even know what I want the new thing to be. I just know that I want something that is different or in a different form or a different color or a different rhythm. Perhaps the new thing will not even seem new from the outside, but it is different.

In my view, the joy of life is about showing up, making it up, experiencing each moment as new and fresh.

Are You Doing What You Love?

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. --Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965)

We are busier than we have ever been, working long hours and feeling under more and more pressure. How do you spend your days? For many people work and pleasure are seen as separate, with work being a chore that has to be done to pay the bills. It doesn’t always have to be like that. Although we don’t have to love everything we do, we do need to gain some enjoyment from most of what we do. Take a moment to see if it is time to start afresh and do something you love, something that adds the pleasure factor back into your working life?

Think about what matters to you and why you do the things you do. For each person that means something different. What aspects of a job are important to you? List them. Think about your dream job. Does it motivate and inspire you? If not, think again. It has to mean something to you; otherwise you will not be prepared to put in the effort to achieve what you want. Ask: ‘What am I prepared to give up to make this happen?’ ‘What would I love to try?’ ‘What options do I have?’ ‘What are my talents, skills and qualities?’ ‘How can I utilise them in my ideal job?’ How can you take an idea and turn it into reality? Get creative and think through how you could make money doing what you enjoy.

Starting anew requires courage, confidence and commitment. Hold on to your sense of purpose. Believe in yourself. Ignore the critics, for there are bound to be some, and face your fears (there will many of those too!). Ask for help from those people who can assist you and get supporters to keep you motivated. Research things that interest you and, if necessary, go back to basics and learn new skills. Develop a clear vision of where you’d like to be in 10 years’ time – and why. Write it down. Be specific. This will provide you with something to focus on. Think creatively. This may not happen all of a sudden, but if you work at it gradually, day by day, it can happen.

And if starting something new is not for you, how can you love the job you already have? You can’t always control your situation, but you can always choose how you react to it. Your attitude colours how you face every day and has an influence on the people around you. Choose to be positive. Are there areas of your job that you can improve on? Who can you discuss this with? Is a change to a new role in the same company an option? Examine the possibilities. Your job does not define you, but how you do it does.

And why bother? Doing what you love gives you a good reason to get up every morning. Your life will be challenging, certainly, exciting, definitely. Doing things you enjoy which give you personal fulfilment and satisfaction has been shown to contribute to good health and longevity. Don’t wait for perfect circumstances to start. Begin now!