Fears and Phobias

What are you afraid of? I’m sure that like almost everybody else you are afraid of something.

Charles F. Haanel defines fear as “…a powerful form of thought.” I think it is a very good definition, because mostly fear is in our minds. Phobia is abnormal fear. We are often afraid of things which we have no reason to be afraid of. This is because most of the fears and phobias are only the creations of our minds.

For example some people are afraid of flying. Why? Probably because they have heard about some plane crashes and that all of the people died in those accidents. Of course plane accidents do happen, and usually all of the people who are in such accidents die. But the same people who are afraid of flying are usually not afraid of traveling in cars and on buses. Cars accidents cause many more deaths than airplane accidents. The probability of dieing in the car accident is much higher than in plane accident. Flying is the safest way of traveling. So, why people are afraid of flying? Like with most phobias the reason is that they do not control their minds.

When we listen about different tragedies and unhappy news, a subconscious mind accepts everything which comes from a conscious mind. The subconscious mind is a creator, it makes things happen, but it does not have the power to differentiate between what is good and bad for us. The conscious mind has the power to differentiate, but most of the people often do not use this power.

So, when you listen to news or a story your conscious mind accepts the news and makes a fearful picture of the situation. Maybe even you or your loved ones are in this picture. If the feeling of fear is there and it gets to your subconscious mind, it gets deeply rooted in your sub consciousness and it will be very difficult to get rid of that fear.

Of course there are some techniques to get rid of different fears and phobias. But first you should be careful to not allow any fears or phobias to get to your subconscious mind. Avoid dwelling on any pessimistic and negative feelings. Try to cultivate positive feelings. Be optimistic. Even if you are not happy at the moment, thinking about your unhappiness will not make you feel better. It will make you feel worse.

Think about something that would make you happy, about something you want very much. Close your eyes. Try to visualize yourself in a happy situation, in your perfect environment. Think of the reasons why you want what you want. See yourself as already possessing what you want. Try to really feel it. Let the feeling excites you. Hold on that feeling.

If you do that you cannot feel unhappy. It might be difficult at first, but if you practice often it will become easy and natural for you. You will not only feel better but you will start attracting the things you really want. And by concentrating on positive feelings and by being charged with positive energy you will become immune to any fears and phobias. You will start manifesting the life you want. Now you are what you thought mostly about in the past. Do not allow your negative thoughts to create the unhappy future for you.

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Stop Fear Now

I'm convinced that fear is one of the worst things in life. Think about all of the negative ways that fear affects your life. Think about all of the decisions you make or do not make because of fear in your life. Or think about the risks that you do not take or the relationships you do not pursue because of fear. You would do well to take a good look at the fears in your life and to attempt to tackle them head first until they are no longer fears.

In my own life, identifying specific fears was the first step for me to getting over my fears. I took a few hours and made a very long list of the things I was afraid of. I included the biggest fears I had all the way down to the smallest, most insignificant fears I had. I would encourage you to take time to do the same thing. It may seem like a strange task, but just think about the freedom you can live in if you learn to overcome your fears.

I was amazed as I wrote at how many things were holding me in fear and affecting my life. One of the fears that was affecting my life the most was my fear of flying on an airplane. I knew that I was afraid to fly and I knew many other people that had a fear of flying as well, but I had never calculated the cost of that fear in my life. Only as I sat down and got honest with myself did I realize that my fear of flying had hindered me from traveling many times. I had missed out on a class reunion, a trip to Europe with my son, and a whole host of other opportunities simply because of my fear.

The process of recognizing my fears became frustrating and maddening to me as I added up all the ways that fear had stolen life and opportunities away from me. Can you think of ways that fear has hindered or kept you from living well? If so, you need to make a serious effort to stop those fears that are affecting you. If your list of fears contains any that are easy to overcome I suggest that you start today to do what it takes to overcome those fears.

Perhaps you are afraid of spending too much time alone. While this is a normal fear that many people deal with, it can steal away the comfort and relaxation that time alone can often give you. I'd suggest training yourself to be alone for small amounts of time until you can easily handle a few hours or even a day without the company of others. Try reading a book, working on your garden or doing another activity you enjoy. What freedom you will have if you can learn to be alone.

My advice to you is simple: stop fear now. Do whatever you can to stop letting fear rule your life. You will be much happier and much more free the less fear controls you.

The Ghost Of Fear

To understand the ghost of fear, let me tell you a short parable:

Once upon a time, Jake and Fear were friends. Fear was Jake’s constant companion, and Fear helped him a lot. Fear saved him from lots of troubles and dangers, and helped him choose right paths and ways in his life.

Whenever Jake would carelessly go with the wrong company of “friends” or make a very careless decision, Fear would butt in and remind him of his father’s counsels and admonitions. When walking right in danger’s path, Fear would whisper a word of warning to dissuade him from proceeding.

Fear would also tell him the proper behavior when Jake was in front of the elderly and other people in authority. Fear would give him the ability to do and say only the respectful and kind words to people. Fear would also tell him to be polite and humble when there was a conflict with people he was related with. In short, Fear has been helping him to keep out of troubles and dangers. Fear was really a friend. Jake liked Fear’s company.

Then one day, Jake met Doubt. Doubt seemed very concerned and sincere about Jake. Doubt said his closeness to Fear was remarkable — but alarming. Doubt threw lies about Fear, distorting the truth that Jake knew about Fear. Worse, Doubt said Fear was actually taking him to a perilous direction, with Jake being unaware.

Jake asked Fear about the things Doubt told him. They had some discussions that somehow went a bit sour. They parted ways with some misunderstandings.

Then one day, Jake heard that Fear had suddenly died.

Doubt lost no time in scaring Jake about Fear. Doubt said that Fear’s premature death and his unsettled “dispute” with Jake might cause Fear to come back from the dead. Thus, the ghost of fear started to haunt Jake. He would remember the times when Fear accompanied him and warned him of bad things. But this time, he feared the voice of Fear.

The more Jake listened to Doubt, the worse he became afraid of Fear. Fear seemed to be no longer a friend, but a spooky entity that sought his destruction.

End of the parable.

The best way to “exorcize” or get rid of these “ghosts” of fear is to make fear somehow a friend again. You can use your fear to help you if you face the truth about it. Your negative imagination creates your ghosts. A crazy imagination is good if you use it to create a “friendly” ghost. This is what I recommend.

The book of Proverbs states: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”

Why You Never Get What You Truly Want

Many of us, whether we know it or not, live within a prison of our own making. This prison has no metal bars, nor can its walls be seen by the naked eye; however, it is every bit as effective in keeping us from our freedom as a real prison cell. It’s called our comfort zone

Comfort zones can take on a variety of different forms, from the area in which you live and the circle of people with whom you socialise, to the amount of money you earn.

The primary force that keeps you living within your zone is your fear-based belief about what will happen if you move outside it.

Regardless of how ridiculous or unrealistic that belief may be, you will accept it as truth depending on the level of certainty you feel.

Your comfort zone is not really comfortable at all, but is really a virtual prison that keeps you from evolving and growing as a human being.

The bars to that prison are your fears about what may possibly happen if you move beyond them. The key to your freedom therefore lies in the removal of the underlying beliefs that cause those fears to exist.

Just for a moment think about a goal or dream you have that seems somehow out of reach. Now check to see if achieving it requires that you move out of your comfort zone and into unfamiliar territory.

It could be a dream job, a new relationship, starting your own business, losing weight, or living in a totally different part of the world.

As you do this little exercise notice how a subtle feeling of fear or nervousness begins to emerge in your chest or stomach area.

This is your unconscious mind springing into action with the intention of dissuading you from doing anything it perceives may put you in danger.

Most of the time you won’t notice the constant influence your comfort zone plays in your life, and you might find yourself placing the blame for your lack of progress towards your goals on laziness or procrastination.

However, if you stop and consider just for a moment why you can’t seem to get that item crossed off your to-do list, make that phone call, or fill out that application, you will begin to realise the true cause: What you want to do is outside your comfort zone.

It is your beliefs that direct your mind to do this; therefore, in order to break through your self-imposed limitations and achieve the success you desire, you will need to remove them.

What is fear in a nutshell?

Copyright 2006 Pauline Houle

I will address the difficulty that many human beings face when fear is the main emotion that is in charge of their life. Why are some persons caught in the midst of their fears while others appear to have none?

In My Beauty & My Beast, Mind, Body and PMS, I have written profusely about fears. Mainly, what I am going to do here, is simplify and look at the different phases of fear and explain it in four steps.

We all have this Primal, instinctual fear after we are born that if no one took care of us, we would die within hours at best.

Then, we have what is called the Initial Fear when we start something or attempt a new action for the first time. Our old brain has a split second fear happening in all of us. We sometimes will stop breathing for a second or two until we realize that we can do this, and at least allow sufficient practice time to become better and comfortable at it.

To continue, if we do not conquer and master this initial fear but rather let it control us, it becomes a Jailor Fear that handicaps our movements, our thoughts and behavior. We might as well become afraid of everything as it happens to some people. They then become jailed by their fears; growing and expanding their life becomes impossible.

Last, we all have what Tony Robbins calls a Counselor Fear which we should respect as being a guide telling us to do or not to do something; it is a guide of higher knowledge; it is not a proof that we are lacking fear, it is a guiding courage that lets us know we have to conquer the initial fear.

How to heal those fears?

Some paths are there for you to explore; I encourage you to dig deep and find out what you are afraid about and whom are you insecure with. How does it influence your whole life? Some events from your childhood will be at the core of these fears and sometimes it will simply be your family education. If I had followed my mother's fears, I would have done nothing I was called for.

You owe it to yourself to do some cleanup otherwise you become the puppet of your fears! And further more, you continue being the slave and possibly teach your children to be afraid, hence reproducing more of the same.

I encourage you to really seek help if you need to do so for it is often times very difficult to dig by ourselves for fear of losing our life. But remember, that is just a fear. "Fear is like a scarecrow; when the birds land on it, nothing happens."

How Bodacious Women Get Unstuck and Make a Decision

Copyright 2006 Mary Foley

When it comes to making a decision, sometimes we get so wrapped around the axel we’re paralyzed and can’t move forward. You become captive to your fears. Being in this place is no party! At one point in my AOL career, I was debating whether or not to ask my manager for what I wanted: To go part-time. I had recently been accepted to grad school and I quickly determined that continuing to do 60-hour weeks at AOL along with grad school while finalizing my divorce was too much.

I didn’t want to leave AOL altogether, but part-time was an oxymoron at that place! And anyways, we didn’t have a part-time position in my group. Once I voiced my request I wondered if “the powers that be” would think I was pulling back and decide I should leave, like now. I was stuck and afraid. What to do? What to do? What to do?

I was stuck in this quandary. Then a way to get unstuck came to me. You see, Bodacious Women have the courage to figure out what to do in uncomfortable situations. You can use it, too, for those sticky, stucky moments. Here it is:

1. Imagine the worst-case scenario of the decision you’re trying to make or the risk you want to take.

Sit down, tell it to a friend or someone you trust, and paint the complete picture with all the events, people, and especially your feelings. From your cozy chair, experience as much as possible what the worst case would feel like.

2. Ask yourself what you would do if this worse case happened.

What would you do? What would you say? To whom? How might they react? How would you react? If you can answer these kind of questions with some degree of confidence, then you can handle it. It may not be fun, it may not be pretty, but you can handle it. Likely, you’ve handled something at least as intense before. Remember?

3. Ask yourself the likelihood of the worst case happening.

Most of the time, we paint the most horrible picture, and then it doesn’t materialize. It’s a great monument to our imagination. Perhaps more of us should write movie screenplays. So, something between Terrific! and Ugh! is probably reality. Hey, good news! You’ve already determined you can handle that, too. Piece of cake. Make a decision and go for it!

Fear Of Heights

Psychiatry identifies three different categories of phobia:

Agoraphobia is a fear of open spaces. It is also a fear of having a panic attack in a public place, of losing control in an area from which escape may prove difficult or embarrassing.

Social Phobia is an irrational anxiety brought forth by exposure to certain social situations, leading to avoidance behaviour.

Specific Phobia is a persistent and irrational fear in response to some specific stimulus, which commonly results in avoidance of/withdrawal from that stimulus. It could be triggered by an insect or animal (zoophobia), by a situation like being trapped in an enclosed space (claustrophobia) or it could be a fear of disease (pathophobia).

Fear of heights is one of the most widespread of fears. In some situations a fear of heights is quite appropriate and a matter of common sense. According to psychologists, there are only two natural fears – fear of loud noises and fear of heights.

However, a morbid fear of high places, which is the definition of acrophobia, can be very bad for you. If you found yourself in a "high" situation, it would be much better for you to have your wits about you. Feeling an intense fear while inside a safe environment such as a skyscraper is not an appropriate response.

As with many fears, acrophobia often goes hand in hand with other phobias, a fear of flying in particular. As it is a fairly common phobia, many sufferers choose to live with it rather than try to get help, accommodating their lifestyle to the limitations. This can prove crippling to many aspects of life from holidays to accommodation, even limiting your possible career options.

The best methods for curing acrophobia involve gradual desensitisation, slowly exposing the sufferer to ever-greater heights while teaching them relaxation techniques that will enable them to maintain their presence of mind. Some of the methods that work best are NLP and timeline therapy.

Are You Just An Armchair Adventurer?

Copyright 2006 Christopher Green

It is a simple fact known by everybody who is actively involved in the self-improvement industry. Most of the ambitious, excited people who buy courses, books, audio products, DVDs and seminar places never apply the knowledge they’ve paid good money for to a real purpose.

Consequently, the information that could drastically improve their lives beyond all recognition remains unused. But there are some people who put their knowledge to use and this is what separates the doers from the armchair adventurers: the courage to take action.

Are you an armchair adventurer? Here’s 5 telltale signs that mark out those who never quite manage to “walk the talk” and who prefer to sit in solitude watching, thinking and reading about it instead.

1. Have you got a large and ever growing collection of self-improvement products? Is your bookshelf GROANING with the weight of book after book by various gurus and experts? Is your DVD player in danger of getting indigestion from the number of “motivating” DVDs you watch night after night? Is your car’s CD player in danger of burnout because of the number of affirming CD’s you play to and from work each day? If so, score 1 for the armchair adventurer.

2. Do you like to share your knowledge with your pals over beer and pool? Telling them about how good you feel using affirmations every day and how you’re going to change your life – soon. But three months later, you’re still talking about the latest product you’ve bought and how you know you’re “growing”. Sounds familiar? Add another point to the “armchair adventurer” column.

3. Having read so many books, you’ll know how important it is to set goals. But have you set any goals? Have you constantly reviewed them and measured progress and set new goals? If you haven’t, is it because you’re still reading about it and you’re not quite sure what goals to set? Nevermind, pour yourself a cold one, put your feet up, read yet another goal setting book and score one more in the “armchair adventurer” column.

4. How’s the planning coming along? Ah, the plans aren’t quite finished yet. But haven’t you been working on them for months? Yet each time you’re about to take action, you find another area of concern that you need to read up about. Better not take any action until you’re absolutely sure that nothing can go wrong. After all, you don’t want anything unexpected to come along and scupper your plans do you? Better to be safe than sorry, so go ahead, nip down to the library and get yourself a book called “How To Do Anything You Want Without Taking Risks From The Comfort Of Your Armchair”. Don’t forget to add one more to your armchair adventurer score before you leave.

5. Finally, after all of the reading, watching and listening you’ve done, why is your life still pretty much the same? Is it because: You haven’t got enough money? You have a family and they come first? You’re too old? You’re too young? Your dog has fleas? Your cat doesn’t want to move and the stress would kill it? You haven’t got the time to do what you really want to do? Time-out! I’m running out of white space – can we quit with the excuses now and just agree that you’re not prepared to overcome fear and live the life you truly want because you’re an armchair adventurer? Yes? That’s cool, but please can you add one point for each excuse you use to your armchair adventurer score. Wow, that score is mounting up isn’t it?

I know the above points are hard hitting but I’m trying to open your eyes to a simple truth: All of these self-improvement products – and there are some very, very good ones, mine included – are completely WORTHLESS unless you act on the fantastic information they contain. Armchair adventuring is fine, nothing wrong with sitting down and reading so long as you know what the consequences are if you don’t apply your knowledge to a purpose.

But isn’t it better to read and then put your knowledge into action? Why be an armchair adventurer when you can experience the joy and satisfaction of real life adventure by putting the books down, getting up off your armchair and applying what you’ve learned to get the life what you want. Go on, just do it!

Until next time.

Beyond Fear And Addiction: Six Steps To Healing

There is a wonderful anachronism for FEAR:

False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

Much of the fear in our lives is based on false evidence.

Our bodies are designed to respond with the fight or flight mechanism to real and present danger - such as being physically attacked. In the face of real and present danger, the adrenaline flows and the blood drains out of our organs and brain and into our limbs to prepare us for fight or flight.

Yet many people spend much of their time in the anxiety and stress of fight or flight when there is no real and present danger. This is because the body responds the same way to imagined danger as it does to real danger. The body thinks that the false evidence coming from our thoughts is real.

This constant state of fear and anxiety often leads to various addictions in the hope of numbing out the difficult feelings. Food, alcohol, drugs, nicotine, gambling, sex, TV, shopping, approval, attention, work, anger, rage, violence to self and others – all can be used in attempts to block out painful feelings.

Yet, the addictions themselves are an abandonment of self, in that they are not a healthy and loving way of dealing with painful feelings. And it is self-abandonment that causes the most fear, anxiety, and depression.

Thus, many people are caught in a very negative circle based on self-abandonment:

• Thinking negative thoughts about the future - about rejection, failure, loss of others, loss of self, loss of money – creates fear in the body and is an abandonment of self.

We are abandoning ourselves when we allow ourselves to make up thoughts about the future that scare us. This would be like saying to a child, “You are going to end up alone. No one will ever love you. You will be out on the streets with no food and no help.” Saying this to a child would be considered child abuse, yet many people tell these same things to themselves over and over when there is no objective truth to these statements.

• Once we have created fear with our negative thinking, we try to avoid the fear with our various addictions.

Avoid responsibility for creating our fear by turning to addictions is another self-abandonment. This is like offering a frightened child a cookie instead of addressing the source of the fear. The self-abandonment creates deep inner emptiness and aloneness, which perpetuates the addictive behavior. It also creates neediness, leading to pulling on others for love, approval and attention.

• Addictive behavior perpetuates the original fears – an endless vicious circle of self-abandonment.

MOVING BEYOND FEAR AND ADDICTION

There really is a way out of this! While the process of moving beyond fear and addiction is simple, it is not easy. It takes deep commitment and devotion to your peace and joy.

1) Choose the willingness to feel your painful feelings and take responsibility for creating them, rather than continue avoiding them with your various addictions. It is only when you are willing to be with your feelings rather than avoid them that you can learn about how you are creating your own pain.

2) Consciously decide that you want to learn about what you are thinking or doing that is causing your pain.

3) Dialogue with the part of you that is in fear and pain - you can think of this feeling part of you of a child within – about how you are causing the pain. Discover your thoughts and actions that are causing your pain.

4) Open to learning with a Higher Power – your own highest wisest self, an inner teacher or mentor, a guardian angel, God – about what is the truth regarding your negative thinking and what the loving action is toward yourself.

5) Take the loving action for yourself that you are guided to do in Step 4.

6) Notice how you feel. If you feel more peaceful, then you know that you have taken loving action. If not, then you need to go back through these steps to discover another loving action.

This six-step process is called Inner Bonding®. We offer a free Inner Bonding course at www.innerbonding.com.

Afraid Of Losing? If You Are, Then You Already Did!

Gambling is not the issue here. A person who thinks that gambling is his way out of a wretched life loses just the same. A person who always relies on luck and uses gambling as a source of income also loses big time.

This type of person views gambling as a risk worth taking regardless of the effect it has on him. Gambling makes a person lazy and reinforces belief on easy money. Deep within that person, he is losing part of his self-respect every time he engages in gambling.

Now, put yourself in the shoes of a neophyte salesperson. First time salespersons usually have this kind of dilemma: to be or not to be; to approach or not to approach the customer. Your fear of not being able to sell or get an order makes you back out even before you try.

If you do not make the act of approaching the customer for an order, you already lost it. But, if you do, you still have a good chance of getting an order or learning a lesson. Of course, it depends on your convincing power of salesmanship. You have to be honest regarding your products or services. Do not promise what you cannot deliver. Deliver more than what you promise. These are just some of the steps towards establishing a lasting relationship with your customer.

Let us examine in detail the basis for your inaction, which is essentially the basis of your fear. What is your excuse for not approaching the customer or for not getting that order?

Fear can make you lose an order. It can stop you on your tracks as you approach the customer. Fear can stop you from doing an action because it can overwhelm you and make you afraid of taking a “no” for an answer.

Actually, there is probably an underlying reason for your anxiety, one that links to the fear of losing your job. If your performance is below par, expect to be fired. Your performance has to be above par. To be able to do this, get rid of the fear of losing. Adopt a mindset that echoes, “I can and will get that order.”

Let us take the perspective of an aspiring businessperson. A first time entry into any business venture normally results to nervousness due to fear of losing his capital. This fear escalates especially when the capital comes from hard-earned savings. Seeing hard earned savings go to waste as a result of a bankrupt business can drive anyone crazy. If this happens, he will have to start saving again; that is, if he is still young and has the physical stamina to do so.

The fear of losing is just one side of reality. Let us check out the other side, which emphasizes the courage to win.

Again, everything begins in the mind. Maintain the desire to win. Encourage your mind to nurture the courage to win. Take some calculated risks. Be optimistic while keeping your feet on the ground. Be creative and think out of the box.

If you continue delaying your plans to achieve success because of your fears, you lose valuable time that could otherwise have been used for fruitful ventures. If you eventually decide to scrap or abandon your plans, you lose the chance of a lifetime. Time lost is irreversible.

So, are you willing to confront your fears?

5 Top Tips To Discover Your Dream

How To Discover Your True Life Purpose

Copyright 2006 Christopher Green

I want to ask you a question. It is the most important question I can ask you, and I wonder if you could provide me with an answer within 10 seconds. Most people cannot. Here it is:

What, exactly, do you want to do with your life?

By exactly, I mean a complete description of how you want to live your life including the most important goal you’d like to achieve. So answers like “make money”, “live in a big house”, or “meet someone special” have no place here. Such vague, non-specific answers are given by most people, and it is a sure sign that they haven’t identified what they really want to do with their lives.

The reason why it is so important to know the answer – in detail – to the question is because the answer reveals your dream. Your dream is unique to you, and it represents something very important to your happiness and growth as a person. It is an expression of the real you and gives enormous meaning and purpose to your life.

So how do you know what your dream is? Many people say to me “If only I knew what I really wanted”. If this applies to you, then here’s my top tips to identify your dream:

1. Take the time to think seriously about what you want to do with your life. Ask yourself “How would I truly want to spend everyday if I could choose freely”. This is serious time and you should spend at least an hour everyday working out the answers to this question.

2. On a sheet of paper, write down all the things you really enjoy doing and that you have a passion for. Write down all of the wonderful things you’d like to try too. For example, my list contains: working with computers, writing, motivating others to succeed, playing guitar, music, cooking, travel, history, the arts.

3. On another sheet of paper, write down all of the things you definitely DON’T want in your life. This is a great technique and brings clarity. For example, on my list, I have: No repetitive work, no bosses, no 9-5, no outdoor tasks, no relationships, no mysticism, no routines. Be honest with this. If you don’t like doing something, write it down. Duty has no role here; this is for you. If you don’t like doing something, write it down.

4. Ask: “Who is this for?” Do you want to live a dream to gain approval from others or do you want to do it because YOU really want it for yourself? Your dream doesn’t need anyone else’s approval, it is all about YOUR life, not theirs. Wanting approval for a dream poses a threat: What if others don’t approve? Do you make them happy or yourself happy? Have a dream because it is something you truly want to do; something that is important and gives meaning to your life because you deem it so. Obviously, approval from others is nice. But if others don’t approve of the lifestyle you choose, then don’t let it make a difference to you. Have the courage to be yourself and live the life you deem appropriate and not the life others deem fit for you.

5. Your dream is something special. It should excite you, fill you with a burning passion and a determination to achieve it. If you’re lukewarm about it then chances are you won’t give it your best shot. It should be something that you absolutely, definitely and positively HAVE to achieve. Failing to achieve it simply isn’t an option because it will make you seriously miserable and unhappy if you don’t get what you want. It is vital that you have this commitment to your dream because a wishy-washy approach just won’t cut the mustard. Think. Plan. Write it all down. Set goals. Then take action each and every day to take you closer to your dream.

Time for me to sign off. Please don’t just read this article and then move on to something else. TAKE ACTION. Use the tips to help you identify what it is you want from life. Remember the question:

“What, exactly, do you want to do with your life?”

Only you can provide the precise answers.

Until next time.

3 Questions To Empower You

Start to create a new, better life

Copyright 2006 Christopher Green

For most people in our society, life will hold little more than a dutiful slog in the 9-5 rat race for forty years before retiring. Many will look back on their lives and wished they’d had an opportunity to have done something different. Some may have even had opportunities to do so but didn’t take them. One thought is very common: “I wish I could’ve done something else but I never really knew what I wanted to do.”

Sounds familiar, yes?

Relax. Because I can help you identify what it is you’d really like to do and I can show you how to begin. It all starts by asking yourself three very important questions and I believe these questions are the most important questions you can ask yourself. Here they are:

1. What, EXACTLY, do I want to do? This question gets straight to the heart of the matter and it requires SPECIFIC answers. Also, your answer should be something you have a passion for and are genuinely interested in and not something you think others would be impressed with. It should be something you feel so strongly about that missing out on it will make you seriously unhappy.  By this, I mean IT WILL HURT YOU DEEPLY if you don’t at least give it a shot. Take the time to think seriously about this question, at least 30 minutes a day as this is the first step towards getting what you want. Be thorough. Think about how you’d like to spend each day of your life, and think about what you don’t want to do and what you’d like to change about how you spend your days right now.

2. What do I have to do to get it? This question requires answers about the practicalities required to achieve your goal. It will cover the necessary skills – what skills do you have now that you can use and what new skills will you need to develop? You’ll need to know about courses or training programs you’ll need to take and you’ll need to identify how much practice or study you’ll have to do. Other considerations will be things like location as you may have to move somewhere else, people you need to connect with, making contacts, networking, equipment anything you find that is a necessary part of achieving your goal.

3. What am I prepared to give to ensure I succeed? When you’ve identified what you want to do and what this will entail, you then need to decide what you’re going to give to make your dream happen. Success demands a price. In particular, we have the 3 kings: Time, Money and Commitment. How much time are you prepared to give? Are you prepared to sacrifice other activities to free up more time? Time is the most precious resource you have and it is a non-renewable resource. It is important you give a significant portion of your free time to the pursuit of your goal. Next comes money. You will have to be prepared to invest money in your project – IN YOURSELF – to make progress. This could mean purchasing equipment, attending seminars, courses, property, books, raw materials etc. and without such an investment, it is unlikely your project will get off the ground. Finally, how committed are you to making your dream happen? In my opinion, if you’re serious about getting the lifestyle and the success you truly want, you must be 100% committed to it. This will mean making sacrifices: friends, socializing, working long hours, working weekends in short, sacrificing many of the things you enjoy doing today so you can create a better tomorrow. If you love something and you want to achieve a high standard of success, you will have to devote lots and lots of time to it and place it above everything else. Are you prepared to do this?

You now have three empowering questions to help you get started on creating a new life for yourself. Please make the time to think seriously about the answers you want to give to them and you’ll reap the rewards.

Until next time.