Forgive or Else You Are Shackled Like a Prisoner to Your Past!

By your choice of not forgiving, you have chosen to shackle yourself like prisoners to your past! This holds you back from experiencing your true Divine Potential. You carry the great weight of shame upon your shoulders, the burdens upon your back, the grudges and revenge reek havoc in your mind and the ball chained to your leg impedes your forward growth. You hold the power and one of the keys that can potentially heal you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, ultimately setting you free!

When we carry grudges, resentments, old hurt and pains we end up hurting ourselves more than the ones that we perceived did the hurting! Being unforgiving is detrimental to our entire being! Coaches, counselors and doctors attest to the damage that is done by failing to forgive ourselves and others. The majority of illnesses that are treated are due to emotional problems. Depression, anxiety and destroyed relationships are normally caused from carrying resentment and bitterness which is unforgiveness.

Forgiveness has to be given without resentment and in honesty. It must be completely genuine or else it is not truly forgiven. You are only fooling yourself if you do not truly forgive from the heart. What if the person we are forgiving does not feel that they have done anything wrong? It doesn’t matter, forgive them anyways! As with all choices presented to each of us during our course of life, they have choice on taking responsibility for their own role. If the other person involved chooses not to accept responsibility, that is ok! Self-empowerment is taking care of yourself and doing things for yourself. You do not need another person’s permission to heal yourself! Take back your power, forgive them, rid the energy and move on with your life! You do not need their permission or approval for you to forgive them. You owe this to yourself. You are only responsible for your own healing. In truth, when you do forgive the other person, a higher part of this being, knows and accepts your forgiveness. So in essence, you are helping the other person by your unselfish act of forgiving them! Really it is a win-win for all involved. Although the person not taking responsibility for their involvement will stay stuck in their life where they are at. But as with all things, they will evolve when the time is right for them.

A lot of hurts and pains are buried deep within our subconscious mind. We do not remember them therefore we feel we are free of them. This is not so! This hurt and pain IS an energetic memory stored within our being. It runs our lives! It is a program that keeps replaying over and over, one that stifles your growth forward as it holds your consciousness in victim mode. Forgiveness is something that needs to be done in order to heal yourself physically, raise your vibration, leave victim consciousness, and move forward in your life. Forgiving someone does not mean you are accepting the person’s behaviour. Forgiveness is more about releasing the harmful energies that are overshadowing your personal health and wellbeing than letting someone else off the hook for their misdeeds. When you hold onto the pain, resentment, fear, hurts and other emotions you give your power away to the one whom has done the hurting. When you do not forgive this person and yourself you allow subconscious programs to run your life. You keep yourself locked in a repetitive victim cycle until you are ready to release these energies and programs.

I am ready to heal myself. I am ready to forgive everyone that has ever done me wrong, how do I do this? Here is an exercise that you can do by yourself that is very powerful and freeing! It takes some time but is definitely worth every ounce of effort you put into it.

Go into your physical sacred space, sit and start a list. Go back into your life as far as your memory can remember and start writing down every single name that you ‘see’ or ‘hear’ that you feel has created any type of hurt, pain or suffering. Go right back to the very beginning. Think of your parents, siblings, relatives and neighbours. Go back to your school days. Go into your work place. Write down every single name without judgment. When you feel your list is complete, go back again and this time, write down all the names that you feel you have hurt either intentionally or unintentionally. Be as honest with yourself as you can. Remember you are the only one suffering by not taking responsibility for your own actions! After you are done, go through the list and for each person say, “I AM the Violet Flame. I forgive (name) and I forgive myself now. I release all karmic energy that we have together in all directions of time. I send you love and bless you on your way. I call upon the power of God to cut any and all psychic cords between myself and (name) now. These psychic cords are now lovingly severed, lifted, loved, healed, released and let go into the Violet Flame. I therefore accept fully and completely the healing of my relationship with (name) now. Thank you! So be it and so it is! ”

This does take awhile but it is very powerful! Free yourself and move on! If you feel like there was someone you still have trouble forgiving, keep coming back and repeating the affirmation for this person or people daily, until you feel you have forgiven them and yourself completely. I would like to also say that just because you have forgiven someone for their part in your learning experience, this does not mean you have to resume a relationship with this person if it has already been severed! You forgive and move on.

Some other very powerful ways to free yourself with forgiveness are through energy work, meditations and visualizations that work specifically to deprogram your subconscious mind.

You have the power within to change your life, who do you need to forgive right now?

If you have any questions, would like to purchase the energetic clearing program, self-healing CDs or would like to schedule a spiritual life coaching session with Lisa Whatley, please email lisa@infinitylighthealing.com

For Your Life To Change You Must Change!

We've all heard it so many times, whether it's coming from us or somebody we associate with; "I need a change in my life." But then nobody ever does anything about it, they just continue to complain!

Let me ask you this: What has your complaining gotten you so far; probably not much if anything. So instead of continuing to complain, why not start taking some positive action towards changing your situation?

It's a safe bet that if you continue to do the same things, you will continue to receive the same results. Some call this the definition of insanity; performing the same tasks over and over and expecting different results! It just doesn't happen that way!

Jim Rohn says that in order for things to change, you must change. "Your income can increase, but you must grow out to where it is, or it will quickly come back to where you are."

The best way to picture this is by grabbing a rubber band. Now, stretch it out as far as you can without breaking it. What happens when you let it go? It goes right back to where it was!

Now let's take this a step further: Stretch out the rubber band and before letting it go this time, insert a glass inside the rubber band's open area. What happens now? This time is only retracts as far as the glass lets it go!

See, you can stretch out the rubber band (your income) and make it larger, but unless you insert something in there to keep it that size (your personal growth), as soon as you let go it comes right back to its original size.

So how do you grow personally? You must grow personally through the consistent use of personal development tools and resources. Every single day you should be setting time aside first thing in the morning to work on yourself. Whatever it is that you do first thing in the morning is going to set your course for the rest of your day.

Personal Development and growth is not something that is going to occur overnight, so don't expect that. Actually, others will notice changes in you before you even know that they have occurred. They will notice changes in your attitude, how you handle different situations, etc. And you will notice that you are feeling different somehow ... maybe ... successful, or that you really CAN do the things you want and that they ARE actually possible?

I noticed this change all of a sudden. It didn't creep up on me; it was just there one day. But before I noticed it, I had other people telling me that my attitude had changed and that I was different somehow. I didn't pay attention to the comments at first but then, once I was able to see it, I started taking notice to a whole lot of change in myself ... and my income!

I do personal development every single day. First thing in the morning I read for at least 30 minutes, and then I go thorough training emails from newsletters I receive. When I am finished with that I take my daily lesson that is delivered through our company. The entire process takes me about 60 minutes for everything.

It is the most eye-opening, fascinating 60 minutes of my work day! And my attitude, posture, and income are all showing the signs that I take the time to expand my personal knowledge each day. My mentor says that "A mind once expanded can never contract." He couldn't be more on target!

So take the time to develop your mind and grow yourself. Read, listen to audio CDs, and watch Personal Development video sessions. Do a couple of these or do them all, but do them every single day without fail! The changes in yourself, your income, and in your life will be phenomenal!

Food, Anxiety and Depression

In our current society, there are many factors that can cause or contribute to anxiety and depression. Certainly money and work problems, relationship and family issues, as well as illness and loss of loved ones are major contributors to anxiety and depression. Also, how we feel about ourselves and treat ourselves contribute greatly to how we feel. Even in the worst of times, if we are treating ourselves with compassion instead of self-judgment, we may be able to manage big challenges without anxiety or depression. In addition, being able to turn to an inner source of spiritual guidance and comfort is vital to weathering the hard times.

Food is another major factor that greatly affects how we feel. Most people don’t really notice that what they put into their bodies affects how they feel. They might know that if they “sugar out” they may crash emotionally, or if they drink too much they will feel hung over, but they are often unaware of how other foods may be creating anxiety and depression.

In the over 35 years that I’ve been a counselor, I have frequently encountered individuals whose anxiety and depression completely cleared up by tuning into how food was affecting them.

For example, Marnie discovered that dairy, wheat and sugar kept her up at night. She would wake up at around 3:00 in the morning with intense anxiety, and would be tired and depressed the next day. By experimenting around and cutting out different foods, she discovered that she slept fine when she stopped eating dairy, wheat and sugar. All her nighttime anxiety vanished and she was no longer tired and depressed.

Joel discovered that his sleeplessness and resulting depression was a direct result of caffeine from coffee, tea, chocolate and soft drinks. He had not realized how much caffeine he was actually consuming until I suggested that he cut out all caffeine and see what happened to his sleep. After a week of headaches from caffeine withdrawal, he was sleeping soundly for the first time in years and no longer felt depressed.

Adrienne discovered that her feelings of anxiety and depression, that had been with her most of her life, disappeared after she started eating only organic foods. Her system was so sensitive to the pesticides and food additives in non-organic food that she could not eat them without feeling anxious and depressed.

Alex, who periodically struggled with depression, inadvertently discovered that drinking raw milk from an organic dairy had a completely different effect on him than pasteurized milk. He was visiting Los Angeles and went into a health food store where he discovered that he could buy raw dairy products (which are outlawed in most other states). He found that the raw milk gave him more energy and elevated his mood. He also found that, while he was lactose intolerant with pasteurized milk, he had no problems with raw milk. Now he has his raw milk, cheese, and butter shipped frozen to Wyoming, and no longer struggles with depression.

Over and over again my clients, who have chosen to tune into how food was affecting them, have discovered how much their feelings were being affected by food. Many of my clients have learned that even a little sugar brings them down. Sugar consumes so many vital nutrients as the body attempts to process it that it can actually be considered a poison. How many people really take “Sugar Blues” seriously?

A hundred years ago, when people naturally ate non-processed and organically grown food, they were getting all the nutrients they needed. Now, most fruits, vegetables and grains are being grown on devitalized soil and over-processed on top of it. Cows and sheep that were once grass fed are being fed pesticide-sprayed grains and given hormones to fatten them up. As a result, much of our food not only contains little nutrients, but has many toxins as well. Without the vitamins, minerals, and many other factors that natural, organic and grass-fed food contains, many people suffer deficiencies that can cause anxiety and depression, as well a many other illnesses.

I recently found out that the fat of raw organic dairy products, especially butter, contains natural anti-inflammatory nutrients. I wonder if the huge rise in arthritis and other inflammatory conditions is related to the pasteurizing of milk. Any inflammatory condition can certainly contribute to anxiety and depression.

Food is certainly a major factor in the rise of anxiety, depression and illness. Only you can do something about this by learning how you are being affected by the foods you eat.

Five Tips For Avoiding Road Rage

Road Rage is a term that, unfortunately, we have become more and more aware of as the media covers an increasing number of “road rage” incidents. We’re all aware of the shocking stories of mild mannered commuters turned cold blooded murderers, and we’re fairly certain that this will never happen to us. We’re right—we will probably never turn into a cold blooded murderer simply because some jackass cut us off on the freeway. While most of us are nearly immune to such heinous fits of rage, many of us fall victim to a milder sort of road rage.

I am guilty of having committed some pretty severe “road rage” infractions in my day. I was punished in high school for some very uncivil things I said (or rather, yelled) at a bus driver in the school parking lot. On the DC beltway, raising my middle finger (along with my voice) became a reflex; it was almost as natural as using the turn signal. I wasn’t going to go out and kill someone; but my behavior sure could have gotten me killed.

This more mild type of road rage is very prevalent, and very harmful. Besides the obvious safety hazard that it poses, it is unhealthy and un-enjoyable for the Rager and his terrified passengers. The driver in a fit of traffic-inspired rage has high blood pressure (which has both immediate and long-term safety hazards), musculature tension, and high levels of adrenaline and cortisol. All of these things are a genuine hazard to a person’s health.

Some people have reported having nightmares, experiencing excessive irritability after driving, and excessive anxiety because of these episodes. It is apparent that the person experiencing road rage is harmed in a significant way.

The good news is that road rage doesn’t have to happen. There are ways to calm down and relax and deal with the stresses associated with driving in a healthy and productive way. Here are five tips that I’ve used to reduce my automobile related outbursts:

1) Breathing Techniques: I take a deep breath, hold it for a count of five, and release. Doing this several times actually reduces the tension that one’s body is holding. While I’m doing this, I imagine that stress, anxiety and tension filling my lungs, and being blown out of my body when I exhale.

2) Avoiding the aggravating situations: For me, traffic is aggravating, but it is more aggravating when I am worried that it might make me late. Therefore, if I’m going to be driving somewhere that is likely to have traffic, I’ll leave up to a half hour early, and bring a book or some work to do when I get there. Thus, my mind is put at ease and the traffic is easier to deal with. I also plan alternate routes that are less likely to get me caught up in a traffic mess. Each person has their own triggers for road rage situations, and it can be useful to sort through these triggers and try to avoid the stressful situation.

3) Posting Affirmations: I post affirmations in my car (one on my dashboard, and one on the wheel, right where I would press the horn. One of them says, “I am calm and cool because that is good for me. The one on the horn says, “I think before I speak”.

4) Preparing for the critical time: I have two stress balls in my glove compartment, a CD with relaxing music, and a bottle of water in my car at all times. When things get tough, I put on the CD, get out the stress balls (both of which can be used during stop and go traffic), and take a drink of water. This is an excellent way to being the breathing exercises.

5) Changing the mindset: I have seen a hypnotherapist, and I continue to practice self-hypnosis to deal with anger issues in my life. I’ve done a lot of work with the triggers that I identified in tip #2. Now, a lot of the things that were bothering me, simply don’t.

These five tips can take the edge off of your driving experience. The important thing to remember is that the rage is in you: it comes from you, it hurts you, and it torments you. You may be angry at someone or something else, but that anger is an internal thing. You owe it to yourself to address it properly. It isn’t much of a safety issue for others—it is your own safety and health that is at stake. If you can change the way you react and the things you do, you can regain that happy experience of relaxing during your commute.

Five Things You Don't (And Should!) Know About Stress

Whether it’s called stress management, relaxation training, or its newest incarnation, “Resiliancy,” it seems that the question of healthy response to the stress of daily life is on everyone’s mind. But it’s important to remember a few things about stress that are rarely discussed—if known at all!

1) Stress won’t hurt you. Hans Selye, the “father of stress” was a polylinguist, whose first language was not English. Before he died, he said that, had his command of English been more precise, he would have been known as the “Father of Strain” rather than stress. What’s the difference? Enormous, from an engineering standpoint. Stress is pressure divided by unit area, whereas strain is measured in deformation per unit length. In other words, while strain speaks to the load you are carrying, strain deals with the degree to which that load warps you out of true. In other words, it is NOT stress that hurts you. It is strain.

2) Stress is necessary for life and growth. Far from being something you avoid, when healthy, the body and mind respond to environmental stress by becoming stronger. Look at this in the arena of physical fitness. Imagine a triangle with each of the three corners having a different designation: Stress, nutrition, and rest. Stress equals exercise, nutrition equals the foods taken in before and after the exercise, and rest equals…well, rest. If you have either too much or too little of any of these, the body breaks down. Note that astronauts in orbit must be very careful to stress their bodies daily with stationary bicycles and other apparatus: zero gravity decreases stress to the point that the bones literally begin to lose calcium. The truth is that, in life, we are rewarded largely for how much stress we can take without breaking. The intelligent approach is to both reduce unnecessary stress and to increase our ability to handle healthy stress without straining.

3) Come of the best research comes from our former enemies! Russian research into the body-mind dynamic has produced valuable results. They figure that any physical technique has three aspects: Breath, Motion, and Structure, and that these three are dependant upon one another. Stress “dis-integrates” this structure as it morphs into strain. The first to be disturbed is almost always breathing. This is the reason that martial arts, yoga, Sufi Dancing and so many other disciplines can use the physical as a vehicle for spiritual transformation. As we learn to handle greater and greater amounts of stress with grace, we naturally evolve to higher levels of integration and performance. It is our birthright.

4) It doesn’t take years to learn proper breathing techniques. Seek out a Chi Gung, yoga, or Tai Chi teacher and say you want to learn proper belly breathing. A good teacher can convey the basics of this critical skill in an hour or less.

5) You don’t have to meditate for an hour a day to get the benefits. While it’s fabulous to spend two twenty minute sessions a day, massive benefits can be gained with just five minutes a day. Here’s the trick: it’s not five minutes all at one time, it’s five one minute sessions spaced through the day. At every hour divisible by 3: 9, 12, 3, 6, and 9, simply stop and breathe properly for sixty seconds. You can do this while walking down the street, or sitting in a business meeting. The important thing is to learn a proper technique, and to practice it briefly, and correctly. This single act will improve posture, energy, digestion, and turn stress into high performance. Five minutes a day…it will seem a pain at first, but once you’ve got the hang of it, it’s the best 300 second investment you’ll ever make!

Five Steps To Stop Procrastinating And Achieve Your Goals Today

The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow. Vincent T. Foss

Susan Daley was a successful entrepreneur selling promotional products. She enjoyed making decent money while having the flexibility to work at home. Susan recently took over a colleague’s account, a huge growth opportunity. So why did she spend her mornings playing solitaire in her messy office rather than making phone calls to prospects?

To procrastinate is “to put off doing something”, or “to postpone or delay needlessly”. Sometimes we avoid doing the tasks that must be done because they are unpleasant or boring, or because we have poor time management skills or are lazy. And yet, often it is the tasks we most want to do that we put off, resulting in much internal pressure.

In Susan’s case, she loved building relationships with potential clients, helping them to better serve their customers and employees, and making a good paycheck to support her family.

So what was going on?

Awareness is the first step. Think about your excuses for not accomplishing your goals. Everyone has his or her own pattern of procrastinating. Here are eight examples:

- Fear of change, rejection or failure
- Need to be perfect (I can’t do it perfectly so I won’t start)
- Lack of time
- Too much stress, pressure or anxiety which leads to paralysis
- Overwhelm on how to start (task is too big, don’t know how to do it, etc.)
- Self-doubt or lack of confidence
- Disorganization, indecision
- Other priorities, big (work/family crisis) and little (need to check email first!)

Do these excuses sound reasonable and logical? That’s often the case. The problem is that if you buy into the excuses, you don’t follow-through on the steps needed to achieve your goals. Procrastination can feel good in the moment, but then creates stress. This becomes a vicious cycle.

Overcoming Procrastination

The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. Walt Disney

Getting into action alleviates the stress of procrastination almost instantaneously.

Here are the five simple steps:

1. Identify the task to be done
2. Identify the first or next step to accomplish the task
3. Commit to a time when you will begin the first step
4. Be aware of your pattern of excuses
5. BUT begin the first step in collaboration with the excuses

Susan outlined the steps needed to organize her files and her office to have ready access to client information. She set daily and weekly goals for contacting prospects and clients. Working with a coach provided the structure and accountability to stay in action on these tasks. She developed strategies to counteract the fear of rejection that was fueling some of the procrastination.

Don’t worry about eliminating all the excuses, or analyzing too much why you are procrastinating. Getting into action actually reduces the grip of the inertia and overwhelm of procrastination. As Susan found, it can be helpful to have partners and strategies to keep the excuses at bay.

You’ll feel more confident and relaxed as you experience the success of reaching your goals. You gain momentum and if you begin the task again and again, you WILL ultimately achieve it.

Five Keys To Keep You Moving Forward

Copyright 2006 Ada Porat

Everyone wants to be able to improve their lives in some way: to heal something, to start something new, to find their soul purpose. As long as we are alive, this process continues. Everyone has a next step waiting to be taken, and everyone – absolutely everyone – has trouble accomplishing it. In fact, we spend an inordinate amount of time making up reasons and excuses for not moving forward.

Being stuck can be extremely painful. The desire you have to change a habit or improve your life comes from your soul. When you do not move forward with it, you block the very expression of your soul. The frustration that accumulates over time because of dysfunctional patterns of self-sabotage merely represents the surface issue.

Here are five practical things to be aware of so you can break free and move forward in your life more effectively:

1. Get over the fear of humiliation. Most people are controlled by the fear of being humiliated. How do you get over the paralyzing fear of being humiliated and worry about what others will say? By recognizing that your true locus of control is inside you. Looking outside ourselves for approval, acceptance and love, is a trap of the ego. The fear of being humiliated by external feedback, is really based on pride. True commitment to the journey of our souls brings with it a deep sense of humility. When we no longer look outside ourselves for approval and affirmation, we finally align with the true Source of our being. That relationship moves us to a place of deep inner honesty and humility because we identify with our true identity as souls.

2. What reality do you live in? Do you find yourself bargaining that you will get on with what you need to do as soon as the children are grown, or after you are out of debt, or once you get a new job? Are you dreaming of the life you’d love to have if only you had the money, time or resources? If so, you may be living in a fantasy world! On this planet, results come from matching vision with action, step by step. Instead of waiting for the perfect opportunity, the question to ask yourself is, “What I am I doing in the meantime?”

Appeasing the yearning of your soul with empty rationalization and promises, is not enough. You need to start taking action to bring your life into alignment with the guidance you are being given, or else you are living in a fantasy world. If not, you may end up in guidance overload – overwhelmed, stuck or frustrated – and you’ll have nobody to blame but yourself!

3. Guidance Overload. Guidance overload comes from asking for help from too many people but never acting on any of the information that you've stuffed into your energy field. When planning a change, it is normal to start gathering information for ways to move forward. The trap lies in over-analyzing each piece of guidance and information or waiting for another, and another, piece to appear before taking action. This can move you into analysis paralysis or guidance overload, where there is too much information floating around in your mind, all triggering your fears, anxieties, limiting beliefs and memories of past trauma - and you don't know where to start. Guidance overload is also an indication of having given your power away to others instead of taking full responsibility for your life. It is not a happy place to be at!

To break free from guidance overload, you need to go back to the beginning and start with the very first step that needs to be taken. When fear arises in response to that step, deal with it! Our greatest power lies in choosing our truth in the face of our fears. When you have taken the first step, you can ask for more guidance.

4. Become A Mystic In The Marketplace. For many centuries, mystics lived on the fringe of society. They did not mix with the masses or participate in affairs of the world. This has all changed. Today, the level of consciousness on the planet has tipped the scales to offer potential for unprecedented growth and change. Spiritually awakened beings are being called to participate in this worldwide shift by becoming mystics in the marketplace, and not on the mountain or in the monastery.

To answer the call, you need to learn how to commune with your soul to access the inner guidance that is stirring there. Every change that you wish to see in society, starts with you and the field of consciousness that you are holding. You are called to be the change you desire to see in the world, and you change the world around you through the power of your evolving soul as you hold the energy field of love wherein consciousness can evolve. In a world crying for healing, there is no greater service you can offer.

5. Find Appropriate Support For Each Stage of Growth. Successful personal growth depends on being able to determine where your learning needs fine-tuning and then to support that with appropriate correction and feedback. Whether you need a new skill or a compassionate ear, listen to your needs and find the support to ensure your success.

Collectively, these five keys can be very helpful to identify where progress may be stagnated in any area of your life, and to help you break free so you can live more effectively.