Finding The Gift In Every Situation

When life places obstacles in our path, when things seem like they're breaking down and we grow weary of the struggle, it's a good time to step back and look for the gift. What gift, you say?

Every situation and experience in life holds a gift, lesson or blessing for us. Yes, even the really painful experiences, like the loss of a loved one, an automobile accident, or natural disaster. There is a gift there, if we look for it.

To find the gift, we simply have to ask ourselves, "What positive lesson can I learn from this? How can this situation benefit me? What wisdom can I gain from this experience? What makes this situation worthwhile to experience in my life?" We can learn from anything in our lives, from a snag in our pantyhose to a migraine headache. We can learn from our disappointments, our heartaches, and our joy.

We can do this with any situation too, not just negative ones. Where is the gift in a boring Sunday afternoon, a crying infant or a gray, rainy wedding day? All we need to do is choose to see the positive side of the situation. The gift of a boring Sunday afternoon might be expressing gratitude for having some free time to express our creativity or enjoy a good book. A crying infant can teach us patience, compassion and nuturing. A rainy wedding day can help us understand what really matters, the celebration of love and meaningful connections with our friends and family.

Of course, when truly wonderful things happen to us, we don't need to really look for the gift then, do we? We already know what it is. During the happier moments of our lives, we can further honor this positive energy by expressing our deepest gratitude and joy. Rather than just feeling glad about our good fortune, we can purposely focus our thoughts on massive amounts of joy and gratitude, and consciously immerse ourselves in happiness. We can shout our thanks to the heavens and affirm that we welcome even more blessings in our lives.

Choosing to focus on the positive side doesn't mean living our lives in denial. It doesn't mean refusing to acknowledge the negative or mundane aspects of our lives. It means we see them, we accept them, and then we look beyond them rather than getting mired in negative thoughts and letting them affect the rest of our day.

Looking for the gift means choosing to lift our thoughts higher than our struggles. It removes us from our victim status and empowers us. No matter what happens in our lives, we have the ability to choose our attitude and our mindset. We can choose to focus on happiness, joy, love and gratitude, or we can stay mired in unhappiness and struggle.

Focusing on the gifts and blessings in our lives won't make all of our problems vanish overnight, or at all. But it reduces their importance and helps them to fade into the background a bit. We create in our lives what we focus on the most. By choosing to focus on the positive, we attract more positive energy into our lives.

Stop for a moment and look at your surroundings right now. What gifts or lessons are available to you in your current circumstances? And will you choose to embrace them and fully benefit from them?

You're Being Manipulated - How Music Affects Your Buying Habits

Copyright 2006 Tania French If you think music doesn’t affect you, you’ll be changing your tune after reading this. This is a true story of a recent study from Leicester University in England. You’re off to the supermarket and decide to stop by some shelves offering French and German wine. You make up your mind to buy a bottle of the French wine. While checking out, you’re asked why you picked the wine. You respond “The label looked great”, or “I liked the price”. Then you’re asked if you noticed the French accordion music that was playing when you took that bottle off the shelf. You say that you did. Did it affect your choice of wine today? No, of course not, you answer. That’s funny because on the days that French music is played nearly 80% of shoppers chose the French wine. On the days that German music the Opposite happens. In other words, this study found that if you bought some wine from their shelves you were 3 or 4 times more likely to choose a wine that matched the music than the wine that didn't match the music. Guess what these wine-buyers responded when asked at the checkout if the music influenced their choice. Only 1 out of 44 customers said that the music was the reason they bought the wine. That’s 2%! The influence of the music was Huge but the customers Didn’t Notice or Believe that it was affecting them. It only took a matter of minutes or seconds for music to get into these people’s brains in a powerful way. Similar experiments have shown that classical music can make people buy more expensive wine. Here’s another study to chew on. Most of us go out to eat at least once a week. Do you know which music makes you spend more when you’re at a restaurant? In this study, a British restaurant played pop music, classical music and no music over the course of 18 evenings. Average spending prices per person were calculated for the following categories: Appetizers, Main Courses, Desserts, Coffee, Drinks from the Bar, Wine, Overall Beverage Bill, Overall Food Bill, and Total Amount Spent They also measured the total time people spent in the restaurant. Here’s what they found. There was a Significant difference between evenings when classical music was played and no music or pop music were played. Classical music resulted in higher spending. Across the board in all categories. Other restaurants here and abroad have had similar results. What does this mean? It’s pretty simple. Classical music relaxes and makes you feel good. And feeling good makes you want the best. That’s why so many successful people listen to high frequency classical music. They know it helps them work better, think better, and get higher levels of energy. They know it won’t deplete them, get them distracted and raise their heart rates, like hard-hitting low frequency music does. The amazing effect that music has on your mind and body is being proven in study after study. It’s information that should not be ignored. Especially these days, when we’re exposed to music anytime we enter a building.

Beginnings and Endings Create Life that is New and Fresh

Copyright 2006 Marshall House

It seems that when I honor the ending, the beginning is more joyous. I admit, I do not always remember to honor the ending. Sometimes I just want the ending to end or the beginning to begin.

As infants, we end our time in the womb to begin our human experience. The other day, I met a less-than-one-week-old (or is that new?) baby, filled with health and wonder, beginning a new life. He was clearly ready to begin this life, keeping his Mom in labor for only thirty minutes.

I have had many beginnings/endings in my life. Probably not more than most people. Some changes have been elegant, some clumsy. Some have been so quick that I did not realize the transformation until it was essentially complete, while some have seemed so slow that I wondered if this is what is meant by eternity. Not all beginnings and endings have been sweet or desired. But each has led to more joy.

Courage and Trust

Many of the planned beginnings/endings have been pure acts of courage: to get married, to start a business, to go to graduate school, to leave a long-term marriage, to relocate my business (twice!), to move across country, to end non-satisfying relationships, and on and on. Even those changes that have not been planned have required courage to carry through.

Of course, everyone knows that the origin for the word "courage" is "heart." I feel that connection between courage and heart, however, as a matter of practicality for me, I associate courage more with the guts than with the heart. I consider that my inner promptings (which are usually heart-based) guide me to where I need to be, but to act in the midst of doubt takes guts.

Sometimes pure tenacity propels me. I have often recognized that I would not have moved to California, for example, if I had known what a grueling experience those first few years would be. I trusted the process of my inner guidance and bloomed where I was planted. Courage and trust are my keys to joy and transformation.

Creative Resistance

I have not met every life change with happy, welcoming arms. Going with kicks and screams into something new may seem like a poor attitude, but such dynamics may be precisely what I needed to propel me into the new.

In my days of training managers and others in New York State Government, I learned more about dealing with resistance than in any other setting. I learned to welcome the expression of resistance, but did not feel so adept at dealing with unexpressed (passive) resistance.

In the early years of my business, I offered experiential training programs, primarily for trainers and managers. A former police officer showed up the first day of a 3-day event, loudly displaying his skepticism. His energy was intense, a bit unnerving for some of the participants. But I welcomed his energy, hoping that he would find the inspiration to leave with the same level of intensity, with his skepticism transformed to enthusiasm.

His verbal reflection at the end of the workshop began with "where have you been all my life?" He quickly covered his embarrassment at his positive emotional expression with the explanation, "I have been waiting to have an experience in learning like this all my life. I hated school. I guess I have hated a lot in my life. Now I know that I don’t have to resist everything, I can be myself without proving something." We taught each other something that neither had experienced before. We came together for a purpose which neither of us had advance warning about, but followed the nudges to show up and co-create an experience.

Showing up for Something New

I know the value of showing up, even if sometimes I do not show up. I know that sometimes I show up physically, but am not present emotionally or mentally or spiritually. In a crowd I can easily conceal this, but in my work I cannot and do not. My clear view and deep understanding of my life purpose empowers me to show up.

Sometimes I activate a transformation simply because I crave something new. I may not even know what I want the new thing to be. I just know that I want something that is different or in a different form or a different color or a different rhythm. Perhaps the new thing will not even seem new from the outside, but it is different.

In my view, the joy of life is about showing up, making it up, experiencing each moment as new and fresh.