How Bodacious Women Get Unstuck and Make a Decision

Copyright 2006 Mary Foley

When it comes to making a decision, sometimes we get so wrapped around the axel we’re paralyzed and can’t move forward. You become captive to your fears. Being in this place is no party! At one point in my AOL career, I was debating whether or not to ask my manager for what I wanted: To go part-time. I had recently been accepted to grad school and I quickly determined that continuing to do 60-hour weeks at AOL along with grad school while finalizing my divorce was too much.

I didn’t want to leave AOL altogether, but part-time was an oxymoron at that place! And anyways, we didn’t have a part-time position in my group. Once I voiced my request I wondered if “the powers that be” would think I was pulling back and decide I should leave, like now. I was stuck and afraid. What to do? What to do? What to do?

I was stuck in this quandary. Then a way to get unstuck came to me. You see, Bodacious Women have the courage to figure out what to do in uncomfortable situations. You can use it, too, for those sticky, stucky moments. Here it is:

1. Imagine the worst-case scenario of the decision you’re trying to make or the risk you want to take.

Sit down, tell it to a friend or someone you trust, and paint the complete picture with all the events, people, and especially your feelings. From your cozy chair, experience as much as possible what the worst case would feel like.

2. Ask yourself what you would do if this worse case happened.

What would you do? What would you say? To whom? How might they react? How would you react? If you can answer these kind of questions with some degree of confidence, then you can handle it. It may not be fun, it may not be pretty, but you can handle it. Likely, you’ve handled something at least as intense before. Remember?

3. Ask yourself the likelihood of the worst case happening.

Most of the time, we paint the most horrible picture, and then it doesn’t materialize. It’s a great monument to our imagination. Perhaps more of us should write movie screenplays. So, something between Terrific! and Ugh! is probably reality. Hey, good news! You’ve already determined you can handle that, too. Piece of cake. Make a decision and go for it!