Character Over Reputation

Political and church leaders, actors and actresses, singers, writers, athletes, professors, engineers, doctors, lawyers and practically everyone (although they may not be even aware of what it truly means) are undoubtedly concerned about their REPUTATION.

Even if we give high regards to integrity and dignity as values taught everywhere in the world, we have been continuously startled by news of moral downfalls. We’ve all heard of government officials being persecuted, famous professional athletes linked to drug usage, popular actors involved in crimes, businessmen proven to have committed unethical practices, and preachers not measuring up to what is expected from them. Sadly, the list seems endless.

More than ever, there is a necessity for us to instill in ourselves not just good reputation, but more importantly, good character. Most of us are so concerned about our image - on how others may look at us. Let me make this clear though. I am not saying there is something wrong in assuring that we maintain a good image. A learned person knows better not to give more importance to reputation than his character. There is a big distinction between the two.

William Hersey Davis has this to tell us:

The circumstances amid which you live determine your reputation...
The truth you believe determines your character...
Reputation is what you are supposed to be...
Character is what you are...
Reputation is the photograph;
Character is the face...
Your reputation is made in a moment;
Your character is built in a lifetime...
Your reputation is learned in an hour;
Your character does not come to light for a year...
Reputation grows like a mushroom;
Character lasts like eternity...
Reputation makes you rich or makes you poor;
Character makes you happy or makes you miserable...
Reputation is what men say about you on your tombstone;
Character is what the angels say about you...

We must be able to master ourselves by knowing both our internal and external characteristics. Some people cannot see beyond the appearance, but the few who can see the importance of inner beauty are more sensible.

Let us rear an honest heart. It calls for conquering our weaknesses, fears, faults and other undesirable traits. Let us wage a war against our own faults because once we know what we are fighting against, then that will lead us to take the necessary steps in order to overcome such imperfections.

What particular aspects must be given more attention to develop an ideal attitude? The answer is good deeds, because they endure. They are therefore more important than mere kind words and praises that may pass away like a wind that blows and constantly moves. By developing a good character, you also win for yourself a good reputation.

Changing The Dreaded Commute

How do you change something that you have become so accustom to dreading and turn it into a positive experience and force in your life? Many of you would look at this ad think that it isn’t possible. But, in a few simple steps there is a way to turn your commute into a healthy and fulfilling experience.

So you ask, “What will I do about it?” The answer is complicated by what is realistic to do and what you are willing to do. Let's take distance. It's not realistic to think of how to shorten the distance if you continue to work for the same company and you are not willing or can't change companies. So, what to do? Actually, there are a number of things that can be done to make the travel more comfortable, less taxing and even beneficial! And this is true for anything that is making the commute difficult.

Attitude, or perception, is everything. Without a good attitude, everything is harder - paying the bills, cleaning the bathroom, even traveling to work. When we look for problems, we find them. I am suggesting that the first and primary change that will help bring a good commute is working on changing your attitude toward it. Remembering that you did choose to take this job that is X miles from home actually puts you back in control of the situation and takes you out of the victim role. If you're like most of us, you will feel empowered by using your right to choose.

A change in attitude might have you view your commute as something that you chose to undertake in order to allow you a pleasant home environment while still making an acceptable or good salary and advancing your career. Just so we are clear, the bad attitude might go something like this, "I hate driving all this way to work. I wish I could retire. What's the use of having a nice house when I don't have any time to spend in it?" Can you feel your shoulder muscles tighten just reading this? Alternatively, a good attitude might say, “Because I live this distance from work, I can live in this community, in a beautiful house of my choosing.” Just watch those muscles relax.

Changing Beliefs of TV's Celebrity Big Brother Contestants

Ok, ok, so I admit it, I have watched one or two episodes of celebrity big brother on the TV here in the UK in past couple of weeks. I am not a reality game show fanatic, however, I find it fascinating.

One thing that I have found fascinating is how different people react to others just because of what they believed before they entered the house rather than treating individuals on the basis of how they have experienced them first hand.

There is a young musician from a fabulous band in the Big Brother house called Preston and he voted for a lady called Faria to be evicted from the house simply because of the fact that she is famous for a kiss and tell story with England football coach Sven Goran Erickson. The first evictee, Jodie Marsh, was also cold and unpleasant to Faria on the first night for the very same reasons and expressed that to Dennis Rodman in the house. Neither of them judged Faria on how they found her or on their own personal experience of her.

Jodie and Preston both openly stated beliefs that they thought she was not a “proper celebrity” (whatever that is) because of how she was famous and Jodie Marsh actually said, when she was evicted from the house last week, that she thought Faria was lovely!! Amazing stuff. When she got to know her beyond what she originally believed, she discovered something that was liberating and kind instead of to the contrary.

Your beliefs are pretty much the rules of your life, well at least they are the rules that you will no doubt be living by. These rules may be what sets you free to achieve things in your life and live the way that you think is important. These beliefs may well also be restricting you and holding you back; they may even be creating the belief that you are incapable of achieving your goals. Or as in the case of contestants from Celebrity Big Brother, stop you from being agreeable to someone!

I wonder how many of you are already losing sight of your New Year goals or resolutions? Your beliefs may well be affecting your degree of success.

I believe in gravity and am guessing that you all believe in it too. Gravity is not influenced or altered in any way, shape or form by my belief in it. However, our relationships, abilities and possibilities are all influenced by our beliefs about them.

We tend to form our beliefs as the result of our experiences and then we act as if they are true. In one sense they are self-fulfilling propphecies. If you believe you are a likeable person, you will act that way, approach people openly and enjoy being with them. They will warm to you and so confirm your belief. We think that beliefs are formed by experiences, but equally experiences are the results of beliefs.

So this then means that you can choose your beliefs!

Understand that the belief that beliefs are changeable is in itself a challenging belief to many people because they tend to think of beliefs as possessions. People talk about 'holding' and 'having' beliefs, 'losing' or 'gaining' them. No one wants to 'lose' something. It would be better talking about them 'leaving' or 'outgrowing' beliefs rather than 'losing' them.

What's more, we all have a personal investment in our own beliefs. When the world confirms them, then they make a lot of sense to us, they are then predictable and give us a sense of security and certainty. We even may take a perverse pleasure in disaster, providing we have predicted it; how many of you have used the term 'I told you so' and found it to be a satisfying phrase? Not because you necessarily wanted anything to go wrong, but because your beliefs were proved correct.

Limiting beliefs are the major offender stopping us from achieving our goals and living our dreams. They act as rules that stop us from getting what exists within us as potential and we all have so much potential that we do not tap into nearly enough. Limiting beliefs hold us back from achieiving what we are actually capable of and what we deserve.

So have a good think about this question; "What is stopping you from achieving your goal?" and know that the answers are very often your limiting beliefs.

Early limiting beliefs may come from childhood influences such as parents or teachers or people whose beliefs we deemed worthy of believing ourselves. These early beliefs often stay hidden and we do not consciously evaluate them as adults. We also pick up limiting beliefs from the media. The numerous soap operas that take up so many hours of TV time set up situations where the characters have to act out ridiculous limitations, otherwise there simply is no drama to compulsively view!

Here are some typical limiting beliefs that are amazingly common;

"No pain - no gain."
"I need to have lots of money to be happy."
"I can't trust anybody."
"You can't get over a bad start in life."
"I am too old to learn to use a computer."
"I never get what I am after."
"Other people are better than me."
"I do not deserve to be successful."
"I have reached my limits."
"I need to work very hard to have enough money to live."
"Success takes a very long time."

These and similar beliefs are only true if you act as if they are. Suppose they are mistaken? what difference would that make?

In the process of achieving your goals, sometimes just being able to articulate any existing limiting beliefs and in turn noticing their effect is enough to alter or dissolve your old unwanted belief and therefore change and update your own reality.

It has certainly been my experience that the majority of people are not usually aware of their limiting beliefs. So the first step is to put them into language or to write them down. Then they are exposed and can be examined and ideally let go of. There are two simple ways to do this:

The first way is to simply ask yourself what the reasons are that you are not currently achieving your goal. What do you think is holding you back? Ask yourself that question and answer as truthfully and thoroughly as you can. The answers will reveal what it is that you perceive to be limitations. More often than not, these limits will be more about you than about the world. When they are about you, they are something that can be changed or updated.

Now, I have found that when people do ask themselves these questions in their own mind, they are rarely honest with themselves, so here is another approach that I use a lot with my one to one clients to discover what, if any, limiting beliefs you have;

Step one: Take a piece of paper and write down an important goal. Have a good look at that goal and really think about it.

Step two: As you think about that goal, assess and score each of the following statements;

Score each of these statements by giving it a score out of 10. Where 1 means you do not believe this statement and 10 means that you believe it without a doubt at all.

I deserve to achieve my goal.

I have the skills and abilities necessary to achieve this goal.

It is possible to achieve my goal.

My goal is clear and defined.

My goal is desirable to me.

My goal is worthwhile.

Look at the lowest scores for any of your answers and begin to explore them. This can be wonderfully enlightening. Low scores highlight and indicate a limiting belief or that you have not thought about the goal sufficiently. If you have discovered some doubts in some areas of your goals, now begin to ask your self about the reasons you are doubtful or what could be making you doubt this?

When you begin to question and examine your beliefs you can unearth what might be limiting beliefs and then you can begin to heighten your awareness of whether or not your beliefs are preventing you from achieving your goals.

Change Your Self Talk Through The Subliminal Message

Many of us have unwanted and undesirable traits and behaviours that if given the choice we would eliminate and replace with their positive opposite. Have you ever tried to change a behaviour or character trait merely through will-power and conscious effort? I'm sure you have. You will therefore be well aware of just how much energy and diligence this takes. In many cases the energy it takes to overcome your own internal resistance to change is so great that you just give-up. So what if there was an easier effortless way to achieve these same changes and also remove your own resistance? Well there is and it's achieved through the use of Subliminal Message programming!

To better comprehend the process we must first look quickly at your behaviours and your motivations that drive them. Every form of behaviour that you display is motivated by your thoughts. Regardless of whether you consider your behaviour to be positive or negative you will find, upon introspection, that this behaviour has a thought or series of thoughts that drive it. This is great news because if you have unwanted behaviour that is directed by your thought then all you have to do is change your thinking and your behaviour will change automatically.

When you look further into this and ask yourself why you think in a certain way you will find that at its core your thinking is directed by your emotions. This is also great news for although many people fail to realise it you should understand that your emotional responses are also under your control. For example you had the desire to read this article. That desire lead to the thought "I am going to read this article" which in turn lead to the reading of the article or the action of actually doing it.

If you want to create change in your behaviours and actions, which will inevitably lead to changes in your life, all you need to do is change the motivations and thoughts which drive your actions.

Now doing this consciously can be a great up-hill struggle. For this reason many great technologies were devised to make this process speedier and more comfortable. Hypnosis is a great tool for self change as is visualisation and the use of affirmations but one of the most effective methods, which requires the least amount of effort, is Subliminal programming.

In order to get the most from using subliminal technology all you need is the decision to change and the persistence to listen to your chosen Subliminal Message program. For this reason the entire process becomes incredibly simple an deasy. Once you have made the decision to change the rest of the process is relatively straight forward. As with anything in life after a decision has been made it must be backed by the appropriate action.

If you make a decision to learn golf then sitting at home watching day-time TV isn't going to progress you forward in that goal. Instead you must study the basics and then the advanced techniques of golf while you practise actually playing the game. Self improvement is no different. However with subliminal programming and the use of subliminal messages you can make the transition painless and a lot faster than you could with conventional methods.

To eliminate unwanted behaviours and create new ones you now know that you must change your emotional responses and thoughts regarding certain things in your life. The quickest way to do this is to change your internal dialogue or self-talk.

The way you speak to yourself is a very important factor in how you view the world and your place in it. You inner dialogue determines your predominant thoughts and actions and thus is the most important driving force behind your behaviours. So through subliminal technologies is very easy to change this self-talk and guide it from where it is now to where you wish it to be.

Do you want to think like a millionaire? Would you like to change your iner dialogue to reflect that of a thin fit person who loves exercise and never indulges on fatty life-threatening foods? Would you like to continually motivate yourself through your thoughts and the inner words you speak?

If the answer is yes then subliminal programming is probably the fastest most effortless way to do it. You can literally reprogram any habit or behaviour and install new self-talk on any subject you wish. You can change any area of your life and direct your destiny through the power of your thoughts, emotions and actions!

If given the choice and you knew it would happen in what areas of your life would you like to see a change?

Change Up! - Attitude Is Everything

"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." - William James

Attitude is everything. I know that you've heard this before and either agreed or disagreed. Either way, you were confirming its truth. Attitude is a filter for everything going into your mind and everything coming out of your mind. Right now, I have no idea what you are thinking because your attitude is unique to you.

It's not a matter of having a bad or good attitude. Everyone's attitude is influenced by so many thoughts at one time that it is almost inevitable that your attitude is always a mixture of positive and negative words and images. While most people speak at 150 to 200 words per minute, research suggests that we think at about 1,300 words per minute. Additionally, many of our thoughts are images, which could encompass thousands of words at once.

Like Herding Cats. I know this seems a bit overwhelming at the moment, but if you stick with me, it will become clear. As with most complex issues, there are many causes and variations within the issues. There can literally be thousands of permutations with any issue. However, as Dr. Phil said on a recent show, "while the problems are complex, the solutions are simple".

Don't Yell at the Computer. What I'm about to write may shock you, but here goes. There are really only three emotions: love, anger, and fear. Love draws you toward something, anger pits you against something, and fear chases you away from something. All of your feelings are a combination of these three emotions. Whether you're happy, sad, worried, anxious, depressed, afraid, or content, these feelings all stem from these emotions.

This is good news. If we can understand what's driving our thoughts, then we can change them. When you make a decision, you can trace that decision back to your thoughts at the time you were deciding. Even though you may not be aware, you are always talking to yourself. Some of you just said to yourself, "no I'm not".

The way to change your behavior is to change your attitude. To change your attitude, you must separate the stimulus from the response. Unlike animals, humans have the ability to choose their response to any situation. There is a space, even though it can be milliseconds at times, that we may choose how to react in every situation. Many people allow their subconscious to make these decisions, which is why they feel so out of control. We can take back control.

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company ...a church ...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past ...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.

We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude ...I am convinced that life is 10hat happens to me and 90ow I react to it. And so it is with you ...we are in charge of our attitudes." - Charles Swindoll

Change

One thing in life is certain---change. Things never stay the same. If you are hoping for the status quo, then I’m afraid you will be disappointed. Just think back to how things were five years ago and you will realize that there is so very much that’s already different in a very short time.

I’m sure there are some of you who know people who refused to adapt to the computer age. I still know some “old timers” who want to use word processors or even typewriters instead! Imagine. What is up with that?

Well, when change comes we have several options, some of which are more adaptive than others. Let’s take a look at them.

The first option is to refuse to change or adapt to any new circumstances, just like the person who still uses a word processor. These are generally people who are afraid of change. I also think that underlying that fear is the fear of being inadequate. When change requires new learning, as it often does, some people don’t think they will be able to master the new skills so it is easier to simply renounce the changes than adapt. The problem is that these are the people who are left in the dust.

The second possibility is the slow starter. These people usually start out in one of the first two mentioned roles---either refusing to change or anxiously running around trying to figure out what to do about it. They do not like change any more than the next person and they resist and resist until one day, they realize that the change may actually bring benefits. Once they see that there is a payoff for them, they fairly easily do the necessary things to adapt to the change.

A third possibility is what we see in the over anxious people in our midst. You know who they are. They are the ones who are always making mountains out of molehills and have a nervous energy about them whenever confronted with a novel situation. They imagine all the possible scenarios about what could occur and seem to just go around in circles. They don’t adapt to the change; they just worry themselves sick over it.

The final and most rewarding possibility are the people who understand that change is a part of everything. When we stop evolving, we start eroding. These people welcome change, in fact, they frequently generate it. They realize that change is what makes things happen. Change propels us forward. These people are quick to make the necessary adaptations and suffer the least from the inevitable.

Do you recognize your own character in any of the above descriptions? Have you read Spencer Johnson’s book, Who Moved My Cheese? This book is an excellent description of the four possible characters in the Change Game. In the book, the first character was a little person named Hem. Hem was afraid of change and believed it would make things worse. He avoided it at all costs. The second character was a mouse named, Scurry. Scurry ran around in circles, just attempting to do something, anything. Sometimes he was right, sometimes wrong but he was constantly in motion. The third character was a little person named Haw. Haw was slow to figure things out but eventually he adapted to the change and realized that the change could bring something better. However, the real winner was the mouse, Sniff. Sniff jumped into action early, sniffing out the terrain and making a choice on what to do next. He adapted the quickest.

Which character are you? Who would you like to be? What would you have to give up to be the character you really want to be? Would you like to make a plan right now to implement these changes into your life? It will require a commitment and a good plan.

This is where a coach can be helpful. When you identify an area in your life that requires some attention and you commit to making the necessary adjustments, it’s strange how life gets in the way sometime and we revert back to our previous ways. A coach is someone who can keep you on track and pointed in the direction of your goals. A coach will support your progress and hold you accountable for the goals you set.

Challenging Life For Inner Peace

By the time I finish writing this article I am going to need peace my self. Writing is a journey that sometimes like life is frustrating. The career of writing like life put demands, stress, and sweat from hard work on persons, while giving little in return. If you believe that last remark, let me tell you another one.

Writers are gifted people and the rewards are there, but like everything else, they arrive at a slow pace. Inner peace is similar to writing; since you work…work…work…work…and the rewards of your efforts seem miles away.

Do you want inner peace? Sure, we all want inner peace, or at least nearly all of us do. How do you achieve inner peace? Do you have the ability to use your mind over matter to control your psyche? If not then you must live, learn, read, and practice in order to reach your peace of mind.

What are you doing to achieve your inner peace? Some people go to Church believing it is the answer to finding inner quietness of the mind. This is not true in many cases, because unfortunately (like many other sources in life) churches do not always have the truth.

What is the truth? Do you know? Do you scramble through each day searching by means of the subconscious mind to find answers to your question, yet fell to see the answers because you are afraid to meet your subconscious mind?

Until you find truth, you will not find inner peace. Regardless of what you’ve heard throughout your lifetime the truth is somewhere within you. Even if you do not have the entire truth, you have more than you think. We are all born with the gift of inner peace and the gift of truth. Ethnic is truth. Thus, it is people of all natures living in the world of havoc to join in union.

Peace in true definition is a quietness of the mind. If the mind requires quietness then it is up to you to shut up the argumentation that goes on between the emotions, subconscious, and conscious mind.

The subconscious mind has goodies waited inside, and it is up to you to hunt them down and find it. Once you make contact with your subconscious, you will be surprised what comes out. To do this, it takes skill, effort, patients, long-suffering, and the ability to find your way out of havoc and into inner peace.

Quietness of the mind means there is no area for suffering, pain, and was obtained will go to lengths to remain in tact from the chaos.

During your time searching for inner peace, you will need to learn how to liberate the mind. Liberating the mind means, you are willing to give all your guilt, prejudices, shame, lies, negative thoughts, and other harmful thinking to God and let go for life.

Once you reach this agreement with self then you will feel peace within your being and once you gain this feeling continue to let go and fight for your inner peace.

Well, we are nearing the end now of this article. I hope that you have learned from this work, since peace is everything, and like you, I want inner peace for everyone. This brings us to another point. We cannot control others; therefore, we must learn to control self. When you spend time controlling others you are burning up energy that could be utilized to find and save your inner peace.

Asking questions will bring forth light. Thus, finding inner peace means that you must learn to communicate with self. Once you learn the strategies of communication, or the creativity of communication you will have the tool you need to move along without stumbling along the way. Do you believe what I said in the last few words of the sentence? If you think, you are not going to stumble along the way to finding inner peace, stop and read this article again.