Your fears, anxieties, and other problems have the best of you and you don’t know where to turn for help. At some point you feel totally helpless as you struggle each day. As a layman and an author of a Managing Fear book, there were times that my fears had the best of me. One of the things that I’ve learned is that you can have all the money in the world and be well known by many people, but when it comes down to it, none of it matters when it comes to dealing with your persistent fears and anxieties. Fame, money, and success will not take away your fears.
The one source that a person should use as a basis in managing their fears and anxieties is using God/Jesus as a basis in dealing with their fears. Why? The power of God is the one power that is stronger than your fears and anxieties. Also, God loves each one of us and he is the one person who has the power to solve all of our problems. He will help you if you ask him to.
The first step a person should do in dealing with their fears is to start talking and praying to God. A person can go to church or to a quiet place during the day to tell God that they are having a problem. They should tell God how they feel and ask God for some of his help. A person could also review the Bible and read some articles on trusting in God and then apply these concepts in their life. Each and every day, a person should make it up a habit to talk to God and ask him for his help.
Some people think that the answers that God provides must be religious in nature. That is not always the case. God may provide the answers in a way that might not be religious in nature. These answers could involve basic psychology and cognitive techniques that deals with how to manage fear and anxiety. The point to remember is that although a person may use these psychology methods, its important to use God/Jesus as the center of everything in your life and in your struggle.
If you have trouble, talk to a member of the clergy or a professional counselor to help deal with your fears and anxieties.
As a layman, I realize the most important thing is to continue praying and talking to God. Talk to God as if you were talking to a friend. Read the Bible and pray hard. Be persistent and be open in the avenues that God may provide to you in solving your problem. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.
Kamis, 07 April 2011
Rabu, 06 April 2011
Symphony of Human Dynamics
Copyright 2006 Marshall House
Differences are inevitable when two or more persons come together. It would be pointless and boring for two or more to come together if there are no differences. Some differences are pleasant; others can be disconcerting. Differences can accelerate to disharmony, conflict, competition, or war.
While a reasonable amount of conflict can be creative and enriching, conflict that is not properly managed can be harmful. Interpersonal conflicts — as contrasted to conflicts of ideas or principles — are in special need of careful management. Viewing conflict or disharmony as the expression of differences can help to take the fear from conflict. Of course, if it is a heated or emotionally charged conflict, just re-naming it is unlikely to defuse the charge. But it may be enough for you to find your place of harmony in the conflict.
Living in conscious harmony is like playing in a symphony — and knowing that we are playing in a symphony. At any given moment, our section of the orchestra may be in temporary harmony or temporary disharmony. Both group members and musicians must have the conscious intention to strive for harmony without being discouraged by the momentary notes of disharmony that add interest to the experience.
The symphony’s composer wrote a score which the conductor interprets and the musicians play with different instruments, in their own style, according to their ability. At some times, we are more aware of one instrument than another. Or we hear a solo or a duet.
When we listen deeply to the music, we notice space between the notes: rhythm. Colors and tones and volume add texture and interest: timbre. We have different responses to different parts: feelings.
Satisfaction increases when everyone in the orchestra reads at the same place on the same sheet of music. At some times, it’s important for a musician to play softly to blend with the rest of the sounds and add texture. At other times, it’s important to play loudly, even being the center of attention. Rhythms might change, even in the middle of a piece. Sounds might “fight” with each other to heighten drama before leading to resolution.
Joy happens when everyone perceives the symphony as all One, with each instrument playing an important part. In order to live in conscious harmony, we must embrace the concept that we are all One. Comparing the interactions of individuals in groups to a the interactions of musicians in a symphony or an orchestra can be powerful.
What is the song you will sing or the dance you will dance or the instrument you will play today?
Differences are inevitable when two or more persons come together. It would be pointless and boring for two or more to come together if there are no differences. Some differences are pleasant; others can be disconcerting. Differences can accelerate to disharmony, conflict, competition, or war.
While a reasonable amount of conflict can be creative and enriching, conflict that is not properly managed can be harmful. Interpersonal conflicts — as contrasted to conflicts of ideas or principles — are in special need of careful management. Viewing conflict or disharmony as the expression of differences can help to take the fear from conflict. Of course, if it is a heated or emotionally charged conflict, just re-naming it is unlikely to defuse the charge. But it may be enough for you to find your place of harmony in the conflict.
Living in conscious harmony is like playing in a symphony — and knowing that we are playing in a symphony. At any given moment, our section of the orchestra may be in temporary harmony or temporary disharmony. Both group members and musicians must have the conscious intention to strive for harmony without being discouraged by the momentary notes of disharmony that add interest to the experience.
The symphony’s composer wrote a score which the conductor interprets and the musicians play with different instruments, in their own style, according to their ability. At some times, we are more aware of one instrument than another. Or we hear a solo or a duet.
When we listen deeply to the music, we notice space between the notes: rhythm. Colors and tones and volume add texture and interest: timbre. We have different responses to different parts: feelings.
Satisfaction increases when everyone in the orchestra reads at the same place on the same sheet of music. At some times, it’s important for a musician to play softly to blend with the rest of the sounds and add texture. At other times, it’s important to play loudly, even being the center of attention. Rhythms might change, even in the middle of a piece. Sounds might “fight” with each other to heighten drama before leading to resolution.
Joy happens when everyone perceives the symphony as all One, with each instrument playing an important part. In order to live in conscious harmony, we must embrace the concept that we are all One. Comparing the interactions of individuals in groups to a the interactions of musicians in a symphony or an orchestra can be powerful.
What is the song you will sing or the dance you will dance or the instrument you will play today?
Selasa, 05 April 2011
How Fears Develop
There have been talks about fears and phobias, and how they affect life. Fear is really the misconception, the rejection, and the dread of life.
There are thousands of life definitions available around. Often, these meanings seek or require a happy, if not perfect, life in this world. We are urged to seek out a paradise or a niche of refuge where we can build our utopia or ideal world.
But what really is life? If we honestly study human drama in history, we would see that real life is the concoction of good and bad, sad and happy. How to be happy in all these circumstances is what you make out of your life. We all create our life meanings. We cannot just borrow others’ meanings or get one from a book. We discover real life through actual life encounters. How we end up after each ordeal gives us our real life.
Life is a concoction of both extremes. Real life entails going through these ordeals. When you reject this idea and look for other life meanings — the kind where you live happily ever after — fears start to develop. You begin to look for fairy tale stuffs in life and reject the ones you actually have. Fear comes in, rejecting what is real. People who live in war zones have a realistic idea of life: You live now; you may die the next moment. They see that life is temporary — which is the truth. Thus, they are prepared to die anytime. Fears are still intact, but considerably lessened.
People who reject the truth are afraid to look at scenes of death or tragedy. The more they reject them, the more the fear grows within them. Many books on fears tell their readers to avoid seeing violence. You ought not to look for violence and watch it, but you ought not to close your eyes to it when there is one right under your nose. Life will always show you both extremes.
Mother Theresa was a non-violent person. Yet, she watched injustice and violence everyday, right where she was. She didn’t feel fear for these daily scenes; instead she felt love and concern in the midst of it all. She knew and lived a real life. Jesus Christ and Mahatma Gandhi were for non-violence. Yet they found real meaning and real life as they were caught in the middle of chaos and turmoil. These excellent people lived the real life. They even conquered others’ fears.
The rejection of the real life is the start of real fears. Fearful and phobic people refuse reality and build their own fantasy world.
There are thousands of life definitions available around. Often, these meanings seek or require a happy, if not perfect, life in this world. We are urged to seek out a paradise or a niche of refuge where we can build our utopia or ideal world.
But what really is life? If we honestly study human drama in history, we would see that real life is the concoction of good and bad, sad and happy. How to be happy in all these circumstances is what you make out of your life. We all create our life meanings. We cannot just borrow others’ meanings or get one from a book. We discover real life through actual life encounters. How we end up after each ordeal gives us our real life.
Life is a concoction of both extremes. Real life entails going through these ordeals. When you reject this idea and look for other life meanings — the kind where you live happily ever after — fears start to develop. You begin to look for fairy tale stuffs in life and reject the ones you actually have. Fear comes in, rejecting what is real. People who live in war zones have a realistic idea of life: You live now; you may die the next moment. They see that life is temporary — which is the truth. Thus, they are prepared to die anytime. Fears are still intact, but considerably lessened.
People who reject the truth are afraid to look at scenes of death or tragedy. The more they reject them, the more the fear grows within them. Many books on fears tell their readers to avoid seeing violence. You ought not to look for violence and watch it, but you ought not to close your eyes to it when there is one right under your nose. Life will always show you both extremes.
Mother Theresa was a non-violent person. Yet, she watched injustice and violence everyday, right where she was. She didn’t feel fear for these daily scenes; instead she felt love and concern in the midst of it all. She knew and lived a real life. Jesus Christ and Mahatma Gandhi were for non-violence. Yet they found real meaning and real life as they were caught in the middle of chaos and turmoil. These excellent people lived the real life. They even conquered others’ fears.
The rejection of the real life is the start of real fears. Fearful and phobic people refuse reality and build their own fantasy world.
Senin, 04 April 2011
Like Your Garden Your Mind Can Grow Weeds Too!
How many of you have a garden in your backyard where you grow your favorite vegetables. You plant them from seeds or seedlings and give them everything they need in order to grow and thrive. You water, fertilize and provide adequate sun. After several months they grow to be big and strong. You run out to pick them daily as they ripen and think to your self. “ I grew these and they taste so good.”
What happens though if you plant your vegetables and forget about them? WEEDS! That’s right your garden now begins to become overtaken by nasty weeds and other plants you have no idea what they may be. Your precious vegetables start to have problems thriving and eventually die or produce fruit you have no desire to eat.
Your garden is like your mind. When you are a child you are given the proper care and nurturing by you parents to give you good habits, a good education and the tools you need to succeed and grow up strong and confident.
What happens along the way is kind of sad. You are exposed to weeds. Just like your garden. Bad influences in your life sometimes become planted in your mind if you can not fight them off. Things such as smoking, nail biting, procrastination, having a bad temper, being lazy, using drugs or being overweight. Theses are only a few of the many habits or should we say weeds, which your mind is susceptible too.
With all these negative influences one might think that there in no chance of changing habits or negative behavior. Well, This is not the case. The mind is a very strong. In fact what you say and think about yourself does come true. If you believe that you want to change your mind will follow. Once your subconscious is reprogrammed the negative things or weeds will be replaced with positive thoughts and behaviors. The unconscious labels we have created for ourselves are changed releasing us from our old behavior patterns or habits. As we remove the old labels new positive ones are created leaving us feeling better about ourselves and what we have accomplished.
Just like the happy, joyful feeling you have while eating the big juicy red tomato from your garden, which you worked so hard on. You will feel ecstatic and excited that you changed the behaviors you disliked about yourself. That feeling can not be matched by any other, The feeling that you are in control.
What happens though if you plant your vegetables and forget about them? WEEDS! That’s right your garden now begins to become overtaken by nasty weeds and other plants you have no idea what they may be. Your precious vegetables start to have problems thriving and eventually die or produce fruit you have no desire to eat.
Your garden is like your mind. When you are a child you are given the proper care and nurturing by you parents to give you good habits, a good education and the tools you need to succeed and grow up strong and confident.
What happens along the way is kind of sad. You are exposed to weeds. Just like your garden. Bad influences in your life sometimes become planted in your mind if you can not fight them off. Things such as smoking, nail biting, procrastination, having a bad temper, being lazy, using drugs or being overweight. Theses are only a few of the many habits or should we say weeds, which your mind is susceptible too.
With all these negative influences one might think that there in no chance of changing habits or negative behavior. Well, This is not the case. The mind is a very strong. In fact what you say and think about yourself does come true. If you believe that you want to change your mind will follow. Once your subconscious is reprogrammed the negative things or weeds will be replaced with positive thoughts and behaviors. The unconscious labels we have created for ourselves are changed releasing us from our old behavior patterns or habits. As we remove the old labels new positive ones are created leaving us feeling better about ourselves and what we have accomplished.
Just like the happy, joyful feeling you have while eating the big juicy red tomato from your garden, which you worked so hard on. You will feel ecstatic and excited that you changed the behaviors you disliked about yourself. That feeling can not be matched by any other, The feeling that you are in control.
Minggu, 03 April 2011
Use Your Commute
Two commutes a day, ten a week, forty a month, about 440 times a year. If you commute 45 minutes to work, that is ninety minutes a day, 1,650 hours a year!
You know those goals you’ve been meaning to achieve? Why not use this time to work on them! How you choose to use the time is as broad as your imagination.
So much of our commuting time now is spent as a negative experience, that it drains us for other activities in our day. When we use our commuting time to benefit ourselves and make accomplishments, it not only will benefit us, but you will see positive impacts at work, home and play!
Using the time to organize your day at work will help you to be more productive at work and less time will be spent away from home and play. The more you are able to achieve, the goals you have been putting off will no longer seem like clouds hanging over you, and will free you up to both mentally and physically.
If you have things to do for the day call into the office (on speaker phone) and go over things that will make your day at the office more organized. If you never have time to write, bring a tape recorder and narrate your stories in your car. If you’re into exercise, isometrics (muscle contractions held for a count of 10 and repeated; do not do this if you are hypertensive or have a heart disorder) are well-documented to work in developing muscle. There are, of course, books on tape and even courses on various subjects. Why not take the time to enrich your life.
The commute is also a great time to schedule the day or review how the day went. Whatever you choose to do, getting value out of the commute helps to change your attitude about the commute and relaxes you throughout the time because you are focused on something more interesting than counting the minutes or the traffic jams. So now, instead of a major block to living, the commute can actually become an opportunity to advance your life.
Think of ten activities that you can do during your commute, and prepare some of them ahead of time. This way if you don’t feel like doing one, you have another ready to go, even if it’s just as simple as listening to your favorite music. You won’t always want to read or listen to music, so you might be prepared to work on a puzzle or compose a letter or song in your head. Your commute is as open to possibilities as you are!
You know those goals you’ve been meaning to achieve? Why not use this time to work on them! How you choose to use the time is as broad as your imagination.
So much of our commuting time now is spent as a negative experience, that it drains us for other activities in our day. When we use our commuting time to benefit ourselves and make accomplishments, it not only will benefit us, but you will see positive impacts at work, home and play!
Using the time to organize your day at work will help you to be more productive at work and less time will be spent away from home and play. The more you are able to achieve, the goals you have been putting off will no longer seem like clouds hanging over you, and will free you up to both mentally and physically.
If you have things to do for the day call into the office (on speaker phone) and go over things that will make your day at the office more organized. If you never have time to write, bring a tape recorder and narrate your stories in your car. If you’re into exercise, isometrics (muscle contractions held for a count of 10 and repeated; do not do this if you are hypertensive or have a heart disorder) are well-documented to work in developing muscle. There are, of course, books on tape and even courses on various subjects. Why not take the time to enrich your life.
The commute is also a great time to schedule the day or review how the day went. Whatever you choose to do, getting value out of the commute helps to change your attitude about the commute and relaxes you throughout the time because you are focused on something more interesting than counting the minutes or the traffic jams. So now, instead of a major block to living, the commute can actually become an opportunity to advance your life.
Think of ten activities that you can do during your commute, and prepare some of them ahead of time. This way if you don’t feel like doing one, you have another ready to go, even if it’s just as simple as listening to your favorite music. You won’t always want to read or listen to music, so you might be prepared to work on a puzzle or compose a letter or song in your head. Your commute is as open to possibilities as you are!
Sabtu, 02 April 2011
Managing The Fear Of Rejection In Today’s World
We have all gotten turned down from a job interview, sports team try out, or even a date. It can sometimes be difficult to overcome the feelings of rejection and to try again. As a result, here is a list of techniques a person can use to help get over the feelings of not making it on the first or second try.
When getting turned down, the key is to learn from your mistakes and to give it another try. Doing anything in life requires practice and persistence. For example, remember the time when you first learned to ride a bike. The first few times, you kept following off the bike. With some practice and some time, you were able to ride your bike with no problem. Everything we do is a learning experience so do not get discouraged if you don’t make it on the first or second time.
Sometimes, our negative thoughts will get the best of us when we fail to get what we want. A technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that make us feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket. Whenever you feel discouraged, open up your small notebook and read those statements.
If you have trouble accomplishing a certain task, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that your playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Use this same technique in your situation. Visualize yourself succeeding at your goal.
Asking for help can make a difference. Talking to someone who has been there can give us insights on how to overcome our current situation. A friend can also provide encouragement and remind us that we are not alone. Also remember to take it one day at a time. Focus on the present and try not to predict what may happen down the road.
As a Layman and author of an anxiety book, I have gone through much adversity in dealing with fear and anxiety. The key is not to give up and to learn from your mistakes. In time, you will become more knowledgeable and experienced and eventually you will accomplish your goals.
When getting turned down, the key is to learn from your mistakes and to give it another try. Doing anything in life requires practice and persistence. For example, remember the time when you first learned to ride a bike. The first few times, you kept following off the bike. With some practice and some time, you were able to ride your bike with no problem. Everything we do is a learning experience so do not get discouraged if you don’t make it on the first or second time.
Sometimes, our negative thoughts will get the best of us when we fail to get what we want. A technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that make us feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket. Whenever you feel discouraged, open up your small notebook and read those statements.
If you have trouble accomplishing a certain task, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that your playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Use this same technique in your situation. Visualize yourself succeeding at your goal.
Asking for help can make a difference. Talking to someone who has been there can give us insights on how to overcome our current situation. A friend can also provide encouragement and remind us that we are not alone. Also remember to take it one day at a time. Focus on the present and try not to predict what may happen down the road.
As a Layman and author of an anxiety book, I have gone through much adversity in dealing with fear and anxiety. The key is not to give up and to learn from your mistakes. In time, you will become more knowledgeable and experienced and eventually you will accomplish your goals.
Jumat, 01 April 2011
How to Start Your Own Small Business
Opening your own business can be a real big gamble. If you do not do your research well, you will wind up like most small businesses, and that is out of business in less then 6 months.
The most important thing to remember when opening up new business is the location. When doing your research for your new business you want to make sure you are the only business of your time in the area. If you are opening a video store you do not want to open near another video store. Remember if you are exclusive to the area, you will automatically get the business of those living in that area.
The next most important thing about opening a small business is you supplier. Do not have just one place to get supplies from, you should have several. By having more then one you can assure yourself that you are getting the lowest prices from them. And if they know about each other they will try to outdo each other to get your business.
Make sure that the products or services that you will be offering are desired, do not just decide to open up a store with out doing any market research is like playing craps, dangerous unless you really know what you are doing.
Advertising is important. Remember just like a casino you are trying to make money and not lose it. By spending some money on advertising you will increase your sales from your opening day. It is best to have a professional help you with your advertising rather then dong it yourself, there is no point in spending money on advertising if no one in your target demographic is going to see it. An example of this would be like using facial expressions to bluff in a poker game against blind players.
When picking your stock it is sometime better to have a better selection of items and maybe not so many of each item, this way you can see which items sell best and order more of those more popular items, and less of the less desired ones.
In business you should not try to open a business unless you already have experience running a related business. You may think you know how to, but to do it correctly you really need experience, after all if you were in a casino and looking to play poker you would not want a roulette dealer who is trying to figure out the rules as he goes would you? Chances are you would want an experienced poker dealer.
Depending on the type of business you are opening try keep your staff as small as possible, and if it is possible try to get friends and family to help you out. This will allow you to keep your costs low until you can really get a good idea of if you are making money or not. Once you are making money you can go out and hire people.
The most important thing to remember when opening up new business is the location. When doing your research for your new business you want to make sure you are the only business of your time in the area. If you are opening a video store you do not want to open near another video store. Remember if you are exclusive to the area, you will automatically get the business of those living in that area.
The next most important thing about opening a small business is you supplier. Do not have just one place to get supplies from, you should have several. By having more then one you can assure yourself that you are getting the lowest prices from them. And if they know about each other they will try to outdo each other to get your business.
Make sure that the products or services that you will be offering are desired, do not just decide to open up a store with out doing any market research is like playing craps, dangerous unless you really know what you are doing.
Advertising is important. Remember just like a casino you are trying to make money and not lose it. By spending some money on advertising you will increase your sales from your opening day. It is best to have a professional help you with your advertising rather then dong it yourself, there is no point in spending money on advertising if no one in your target demographic is going to see it. An example of this would be like using facial expressions to bluff in a poker game against blind players.
When picking your stock it is sometime better to have a better selection of items and maybe not so many of each item, this way you can see which items sell best and order more of those more popular items, and less of the less desired ones.
In business you should not try to open a business unless you already have experience running a related business. You may think you know how to, but to do it correctly you really need experience, after all if you were in a casino and looking to play poker you would not want a roulette dealer who is trying to figure out the rules as he goes would you? Chances are you would want an experienced poker dealer.
Depending on the type of business you are opening try keep your staff as small as possible, and if it is possible try to get friends and family to help you out. This will allow you to keep your costs low until you can really get a good idea of if you are making money or not. Once you are making money you can go out and hire people.
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