On some playground as I child, I learned to sing the song “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” I guess that was to appease the bullies on the playground as we stuck out our tongues at them, but in reality it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Words do hurt and they can do great harm. Wars have been fought because of words.
There are many people who are struggling in life today not because of physical injuries on a playground but from words spoken out in anger, rage or disgust. Physical injuries through the years have healed fast and words have not healed so fast. For many, negative and destructive words play over and over like a bad movie in the heart and soul.
Words are very powerful. We listen to the words spoken to us and they impact us more than we realize. They move us, inspire us to action, comfort and encourage us, bring healing or they can crush us and devastate us. We are changed either positively or negatively simply because of words. We are even impacted by our own words and tend to follow what we have declared. You have heard people say they are not good enough, smart enough and it seems that their life follows suit. They almost become self-fulfilling prophecies.
I am reminded what the writer of Proverbs says about the power of words:
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:20
“A fool’s mouth is his undoing and his lips are a snare to his soul.” Proverbs 18:7
Be careful of what you say as it just might come to pass. I am not advocating that we never speak what is reality. If we are hurt, angry or depressed, denying it is not going to make it go away. I do think it would serve us well to take inventory of our speech. What would it be like to tape ourselves on any given today? We probably would not be very happy by what we heard. What are we declaring about ourselves on a daily basis? What is our self-talk like?
When we speak, we really are listening to our own words and those words are impacting us either positively or negatively. What would happen if our words started sounding more like God’s words about us? What would happen if were intentional about speaking words that brought life and encouragement to ourselves and others?
Our words are powerful. They are ever changing us and others around us. What kind of life do we really want to live? If our tongues have the power of life and death and you and I are going to eat the fruit of our conversations, I say it’s time to start speaking in the right direction. If we can learn to encourage, build up and not to tear down ourselves or others around us, I believe we will experience powerful changes of good “fruit" in our lives!
Tampilkan postingan dengan label life coach. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label life coach. Tampilkan semua postingan
Rabu, 14 Desember 2011
Kamis, 21 April 2011
Making A Life
Tom Paterson, in his book, “Living The Life You Were Meant To Live,” made a very interesting comment. God isn’t interested in us just making a living as He is in us “making a life.” Well said! I believe a good question we can ask is are we so consumed with making a living that we have forgotten how to make a life!
In this world of “me” focus and striving to get ahead, maybe we need to take a deep breath, step back a little and get a larger perspective on life. At the end of our lives, I don’t think it will really matter how much money you and I made or how successful we were. I think the questions we will be concerned about are did we love our God and others well? Did we make a difference in this world? It is not that success or money are a bad things, but Jesus was so right when he said that life was so much more than the things that we possess. At the end of our lives, I think it will be more important to know we were the kind of people that loved and served others well rather than what kind of car we drove, the house we lived in or how much money we made. Did we love with God’s love and did others see in us who Jesus really is.
The reality is that there are no guarantees about time. Time is precious. It waits for no one and it’s the one thing we can never get back. If we postpone what we really want to do in this life, people we want to touch or influence, or even a trip we want to take that time may never come. People wait for retirement to pursue a dream. Retirement comes and health fails and the dream never happens.
Are you making a living or making a life? Why postpone even simple joys another day? Why not take the time for a long walk and actually smell the roses and enjoy God’s beautiful creation? It won’t cost you a thing and will not only renew your senses but also clear your head. Why not take time to lay hold of courage and forgive or to tell someone that you love them? Maybe its time to be a voice of encouragement to someone who desperately needs a kind word or hug. Take the time to cultivate some new friendships or get together with old friends over coffee, dinner. What about the possibility of extending an act of service or kindness to a complete stranger just because you can.
Are you making a living or making a life? What a perspective! When we begin to be people of life instead of performing in life our lives can be not only meaningful but lived with no regrets!
In this world of “me” focus and striving to get ahead, maybe we need to take a deep breath, step back a little and get a larger perspective on life. At the end of our lives, I don’t think it will really matter how much money you and I made or how successful we were. I think the questions we will be concerned about are did we love our God and others well? Did we make a difference in this world? It is not that success or money are a bad things, but Jesus was so right when he said that life was so much more than the things that we possess. At the end of our lives, I think it will be more important to know we were the kind of people that loved and served others well rather than what kind of car we drove, the house we lived in or how much money we made. Did we love with God’s love and did others see in us who Jesus really is.
The reality is that there are no guarantees about time. Time is precious. It waits for no one and it’s the one thing we can never get back. If we postpone what we really want to do in this life, people we want to touch or influence, or even a trip we want to take that time may never come. People wait for retirement to pursue a dream. Retirement comes and health fails and the dream never happens.
Are you making a living or making a life? Why postpone even simple joys another day? Why not take the time for a long walk and actually smell the roses and enjoy God’s beautiful creation? It won’t cost you a thing and will not only renew your senses but also clear your head. Why not take time to lay hold of courage and forgive or to tell someone that you love them? Maybe its time to be a voice of encouragement to someone who desperately needs a kind word or hug. Take the time to cultivate some new friendships or get together with old friends over coffee, dinner. What about the possibility of extending an act of service or kindness to a complete stranger just because you can.
Are you making a living or making a life? What a perspective! When we begin to be people of life instead of performing in life our lives can be not only meaningful but lived with no regrets!
Minggu, 07 Februari 2010
20 quick ways to greater confidence
Need a confidence boost? Here are 20 quick ways that you can increase your confidence today.
20 quick and practical methods to increase your confidence, here we go:
1. Think about someone who is confident and act, talk and walk like him or her. Model their mannerisms and behaviour. It works for them; it will work for you.
2. Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! But smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.
3. Learn from the past; don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s gone; it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time.
4. Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.
5. Are you prepared for situations? Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time? If not, get to it.
6. Play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.
7. Improve your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these are and put a plan in place to improve them over time.
8. Learn how to say no to people. Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of. Just watch the reaction on their face after you’ve said it the first time and there will be no going back.
9. Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.
10. Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is you’re answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.
11. Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and say is this really important in the grand scheme of things. A lot of the time it isn’t. Many people in life major in minor things!
12. Do you let the words of others affect you? Do you mind what they think of you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem. Change the way you think.
13. List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word – this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying “I’m enraged about this” say, “I’m a little annoyed”. Make a substitute list for the words that you use. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You’ll be surprised with the results.
14. At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day.
15. Be appreciative of what you have to be thankful for in your life right now. Who do you love? Who loves you? Who do you help out?
16. Every morning when you’re in the shower, play over in your head the events in the day as though they have already happened and they were a success. Visualize all of the meetings that you had, the people you talked to, the outcomes you had. Visualize success and confidence and it will be so.
17. Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change you body language
18. Emotion is created by motion. As in 17, make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body – it makes you feel better and more confident.
19. Learn to brag about yourself. Yes, you heard me! Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are.
20. And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in 10 or 20 years time – will what I am worrying about really matter?
20 quick and practical methods to increase your confidence, here we go:
1. Think about someone who is confident and act, talk and walk like him or her. Model their mannerisms and behaviour. It works for them; it will work for you.
2. Smile a lot more. That doesn’t mean putting a silly grin on your face! But smile when you walk down the street, when you meet people and generally be happier even if you’re not feeling that way.
3. Learn from the past; don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s gone; it’s never coming back. Instead learn from it for next time.
4. Buy yourself some new clothes, get your hair done, treat yourself to something new. It will make you feel better and will give your ego a boost.
5. Are you prepared for situations? Are you prepared enough to meet any challenge that may come up? Are you prepared for that meeting, that presentation, that job interview, when you meet someone for the first time? If not, get to it.
6. Play to your strengths. Know what you are good at and expose yourself to these opportunities at every opportunity – because you’re good at it, you’ll enjoy it and have more confidence.
7. Improve your weaknesses. Know and appreciate what these are and put a plan in place to improve them over time.
8. Learn how to say no to people. Don’t be afraid, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of. Just watch the reaction on their face after you’ve said it the first time and there will be no going back.
9. Be positive. Look on the “can do” side of things rather than the “can’t do”. You’ve accomplished lots in your life and you will accomplish lots more in the future.
10. Be in charge of your thoughts at all times. What is a thought? It’s just a question that you’ve asked yourself and the thought is you’re answer. If you’re thinking negative thoughts, you’re probably asking a negative question. Change the questions to be more positive.
11. Whenever you feel a negative thought coming, STOP, THINK, and say is this really important in the grand scheme of things. A lot of the time it isn’t. Many people in life major in minor things!
12. Do you let the words of others affect you? Do you mind what they think of you? Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. It’s not what they say to you that’s the problem it’s what you say to yourself after they have stopped talking that’s the problem. Change the way you think.
13. List the words that you use on a consistent basis when you feel let down or annoyed. People use different words to mean the same thing and depending upon the intensity of the word – this will have an effect on your confidence. Instead of saying “I’m enraged about this” say, “I’m a little annoyed”. Make a substitute list for the words that you use. Make sure they are lower in intensity and then use them. You’ll be surprised with the results.
14. At the end of each day list your achievements and successes throughout that day.
15. Be appreciative of what you have to be thankful for in your life right now. Who do you love? Who loves you? Who do you help out?
16. Every morning when you’re in the shower, play over in your head the events in the day as though they have already happened and they were a success. Visualize all of the meetings that you had, the people you talked to, the outcomes you had. Visualize success and confidence and it will be so.
17. Improve your body language. The way that you move your body has a massive impact on your confidence levels. Move your body assertively and walk with your head up, shoulders back and as though you’ve got somewhere very important to go. Feeling low in confidence? Change you body language
18. Emotion is created by motion. As in 17, make sure you move around consistently. This creates energy and gets the blood pumping around you body – it makes you feel better and more confident.
19. Learn to brag about yourself. Yes, you heard me! Talk about your achievements and successes more than you currently are.
20. And finally – You only live once, so any time that you are down just ask yourself in 10 or 20 years time – will what I am worrying about really matter?
Selasa, 05 Januari 2010
3 Keys To Boosting Your Inner Confidence
I've been coaching for a few years now, and the biggest thing I've learnt - both for me and for my clients - is that inner confidence is the key to it all.
There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence ...
I've been coaching for a few years now, and the biggest thing I've learnt - both for me and for my clients - is that inner confidence is the key to it all.
There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the three keys to real inner confidence.
1. Get To Know Your Values
Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. I make no apology for that though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are; and they’re the building blocks, the foundations and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that’s most important to you, and could include things like respect, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement or freedom.
Why is it that some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated or deflated? It’s because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed or repressed – and we experience that as a negative experience because it’s denying a fundamental piece of who you are. You know those times when you’ve felt really alive, amazing or buzzing? Those are the times when one or more of your values are being honored, and you can get more of that by living according to them.
Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. You can have absolute confidence in them because they’re there all the time just waiting for you to notice them and use them. When you get to know your values, you can start to make choices and align your life around them. It’s so simple and it feels amazing because all that really means is that you’re allowing who you are to live in the real world.
2. Trust Yourself
People spend too much time looking for signs that they’re doing the right thing or on the right path. Sometimes we get that by hearing that we’re doing well at work, sometimes it could be encouragement from a friend or loved one, and sometimes we get that feedback by seeing our material wealth or possessions growing.
But rather than looking on the outside for those signs, how about looking on the inside at what you’re telling yourself? How about trusting yourself to do the best thing and make great choices? How about trusting your own insights and using your own intuition? I’ve seen those ideas scare the bejeezus out of people and you know why? Because it makes you accountable and responsible for what you get. If you trust yourself implicitly and you make the wrong choice, you’ve got nobody else to blame.
But the fact is that we all make mistakes and we’ll all continue to make mistakes. So how would it be if you could trust yourself to get through anything and trust yourself to continue making choices that serve you well – even if sometimes you screw up? That’s the kind of trust I’m talking about, and that’s genuine inner confidence.
Start by listening to yourself and noticing what your intuition is telling you. Be aware of that little voice inside you or those gut reactions you get and pay attention to what they’re telling you. Trust yourself to make decisions, trust yourself to adapt and trust that you’re good enough to have, do or be whatever you want. True confidence will follow.
3. Exercise the Muscle
Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle you need to exercise it so that it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. How do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results you were looking for.
It’s just the same with confidence. Let’s say that you’re the kind of person that doesn’t take many risks, the kind of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you think to yourself ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘that’s not who I am’ or ‘I don’t really want it anyway.’ That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be and so the less confident they become.
To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, to try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, what you do and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity and possibility the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you’ll develop. That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?"
There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence ...
I've been coaching for a few years now, and the biggest thing I've learnt - both for me and for my clients - is that inner confidence is the key to it all.
There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the three keys to real inner confidence.
1. Get To Know Your Values
Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. I make no apology for that though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are; and they’re the building blocks, the foundations and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that’s most important to you, and could include things like respect, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement or freedom.
Why is it that some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated or deflated? It’s because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed or repressed – and we experience that as a negative experience because it’s denying a fundamental piece of who you are. You know those times when you’ve felt really alive, amazing or buzzing? Those are the times when one or more of your values are being honored, and you can get more of that by living according to them.
Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. You can have absolute confidence in them because they’re there all the time just waiting for you to notice them and use them. When you get to know your values, you can start to make choices and align your life around them. It’s so simple and it feels amazing because all that really means is that you’re allowing who you are to live in the real world.
2. Trust Yourself
People spend too much time looking for signs that they’re doing the right thing or on the right path. Sometimes we get that by hearing that we’re doing well at work, sometimes it could be encouragement from a friend or loved one, and sometimes we get that feedback by seeing our material wealth or possessions growing.
But rather than looking on the outside for those signs, how about looking on the inside at what you’re telling yourself? How about trusting yourself to do the best thing and make great choices? How about trusting your own insights and using your own intuition? I’ve seen those ideas scare the bejeezus out of people and you know why? Because it makes you accountable and responsible for what you get. If you trust yourself implicitly and you make the wrong choice, you’ve got nobody else to blame.
But the fact is that we all make mistakes and we’ll all continue to make mistakes. So how would it be if you could trust yourself to get through anything and trust yourself to continue making choices that serve you well – even if sometimes you screw up? That’s the kind of trust I’m talking about, and that’s genuine inner confidence.
Start by listening to yourself and noticing what your intuition is telling you. Be aware of that little voice inside you or those gut reactions you get and pay attention to what they’re telling you. Trust yourself to make decisions, trust yourself to adapt and trust that you’re good enough to have, do or be whatever you want. True confidence will follow.
3. Exercise the Muscle
Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle you need to exercise it so that it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to find. How do you develop your biceps or firm up your glutes? By doing exercises that are designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results you were looking for.
It’s just the same with confidence. Let’s say that you’re the kind of person that doesn’t take many risks, the kind of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you think to yourself ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘that’s not who I am’ or ‘I don’t really want it anyway.’ That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be and so the less confident they become.
To work your confidence muscle you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. You need to be willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, to try something new or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, what you do and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity and possibility the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you’ll develop. That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?"
Langganan:
Postingan (Atom)
Postingan
