"I like to think of myself as an artist, and my life is my greatest work of art. Every moment is a moment of creation, and each moment of creation contains infinite possibilities. I can do things the way I've always done them, or I can look at all the different alternatives, and try something new and different and potentially more rewarding. Every moment presents a new opportunity and a new decision."
--From Creative Visualization, by Shakti Gawain
The Holidays are filled with key moments -- and Ki Moments. Are you ready for them? Gift decisions, company parties, Holiday dinners with friends and family -- they're loaded with opportunities, aren't they? Will the pressure of the moment help you reach peak performance or will you look back later wondering why you did what you did -- again!
When your sibling does something that pushes your buttons, your children are over the top with excitement, your partner forgets the wine, and your associate forgets the most important action item, whatever you do, say, and receive back will be contingent upon what self you choose in that moment.
Give yourself and those you love and work with some unexpected gifts this season:
--The gift of your best self. When the pressure is on, breathe and come back to what you really want -- for this moment, and this relationship.
--The gift of empathy. Give up the fight and acknowledge the pressure that you and they are under.
--The gift of perspective. Laugh, love, let go, and learn.
--The gift of peace. Don't talk about peace, BE peace, in your family, your workplace, your community, and your nation. As Ghandi said, "We must be the change we wish to see in the world."
Ki (from Ai-KI-do) is the Japanese for life energy. Aikido means "the way of blending with energy." How will you extend your life energy this season? How will you receive theirs? It's your choice. Your life depends on it.
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Tampilkan postingan dengan label aikido. Tampilkan semua postingan
Selasa, 28 Desember 2010
Sabtu, 18 Desember 2010
The Greatest Gift
"Go ahead, Judy, talk to your father. What do you want to say?" With these words offered by my favorite Aunt Mimi, I was given the greatest gift—the gift of myself.
Mimi and I had gone on an aunt-niece shopping adventure, and at age 15, I became the proud owner of my first mini-skirt. Upon seeing it, my dad hit the roof, and as usual, I was angry, scared, and tongue-tied. Years of admonitions to not "talk back," had my voice stopped in my throat.
Before that moment, I believe I didn't know that I could have wishes of my own, schooled as I was in pleasing others. How could I speak my thoughts if I didn't know I had them? But with Mimi at my side, I was emboldened. I had an ally. And I found words.
I opened my mouth and talked to my father. I don't remember exactly what I said - it's not important anyway. What's important is that I talked to him. I found my self - my sense of authority over what I wanted to wear and why, my feelings in that moment, and the quiet power that comes with the acknowledgment of these things.
Every time words get stuck in my throat, that moment comes to me, and I think: "Judy, what do you want to say?" And I find my self, and the words come.
This was the greatest gift I ever received from another human being. And it was a gift I could share with my father. As I found the weight of my own convictions, I was able to communicate with him in a new way - not to hurt, retaliate, prove a point, or to show him how wrong he was, but to remove a barrier and let him see a part of me I'd not ventured to show before. It was a gift to both of us.
In the spirit of giving, what will you give yourself and your relationships? Is there a "stuckness" somewhere that could be freed up by finding your center and communicating in a new way with someone you love? Are you hiding? Or are you expecting someone to guess your feelings? Give them and yourself the greatest gift.
Mimi and I had gone on an aunt-niece shopping adventure, and at age 15, I became the proud owner of my first mini-skirt. Upon seeing it, my dad hit the roof, and as usual, I was angry, scared, and tongue-tied. Years of admonitions to not "talk back," had my voice stopped in my throat.
Before that moment, I believe I didn't know that I could have wishes of my own, schooled as I was in pleasing others. How could I speak my thoughts if I didn't know I had them? But with Mimi at my side, I was emboldened. I had an ally. And I found words.
I opened my mouth and talked to my father. I don't remember exactly what I said - it's not important anyway. What's important is that I talked to him. I found my self - my sense of authority over what I wanted to wear and why, my feelings in that moment, and the quiet power that comes with the acknowledgment of these things.
Every time words get stuck in my throat, that moment comes to me, and I think: "Judy, what do you want to say?" And I find my self, and the words come.
This was the greatest gift I ever received from another human being. And it was a gift I could share with my father. As I found the weight of my own convictions, I was able to communicate with him in a new way - not to hurt, retaliate, prove a point, or to show him how wrong he was, but to remove a barrier and let him see a part of me I'd not ventured to show before. It was a gift to both of us.
In the spirit of giving, what will you give yourself and your relationships? Is there a "stuckness" somewhere that could be freed up by finding your center and communicating in a new way with someone you love? Are you hiding? Or are you expecting someone to guess your feelings? Give them and yourself the greatest gift.
Kamis, 09 Desember 2010
Thank You Very Much – Turning Problems Into Gifts
I am a martial artist and black belt in aikido, a practice that continues to teach me about life, both on and off the mat. For example, at the end of each aikido practice, I express gratitude to my partners by bowing and saying: "Thank you very much." I've found over the years that sometimes I have obvious reasons to say thank you - working with that person was exhilarating and fun. However, sometimes the reasons are not so obvious - my partner was stiff, rough, unconscious, or generally difficult to work with.
Still, I say thank you, because we're supposed to. Over the years, because I like to be congruent, I have learned to look for something to be grateful for. With my stiff partner, I find I have learned to be more flexible. With the rough opponent, I learned to take care of myself by speaking up or falling more carefully. In each case, I look for the gift. It's become fun to do this, and fun to apply this learning off the mat as well.
How might you incorporate this simple but effective practice in your daily life? Who are your attackers, and where are the unexpected gifts? After an encounter with the pokey driver ahead, if you had to say, "Thank you very much," what would you see as the gift? With a dismissive coworker or boss, if you had to look for the gift, what would it be? In each "difficult" relationship, where's the gift?
There are certain times of the year when we are more aware of being grateful for all of our blessings. My hope is that you might be grateful all year round, and not only for the obvious gifts but for the unexpected ones as well. Wishing you many of both kinds . . .
Still, I say thank you, because we're supposed to. Over the years, because I like to be congruent, I have learned to look for something to be grateful for. With my stiff partner, I find I have learned to be more flexible. With the rough opponent, I learned to take care of myself by speaking up or falling more carefully. In each case, I look for the gift. It's become fun to do this, and fun to apply this learning off the mat as well.
How might you incorporate this simple but effective practice in your daily life? Who are your attackers, and where are the unexpected gifts? After an encounter with the pokey driver ahead, if you had to say, "Thank you very much," what would you see as the gift? With a dismissive coworker or boss, if you had to look for the gift, what would it be? In each "difficult" relationship, where's the gift?
There are certain times of the year when we are more aware of being grateful for all of our blessings. My hope is that you might be grateful all year round, and not only for the obvious gifts but for the unexpected ones as well. Wishing you many of both kinds . . .
Kamis, 08 Juli 2010
Conflict Mistakes
One of the questions I receive most often from my newsletter subscribers is what do I do when I've "blown it?" As one good friend said: "I forgot all the great ways I know to address a conflict. I reprimanded an employee by basically attacking her character. I did apologize, and, thankfully, she is not quitting. But things feel awkward, and I'm wondering if there's something I can do to help the situation besides apologize."
First, this person did just the right thing—she apologized, and she didn't wait too long to do it. It's important to remember that we all react occasionally in ways that we think better of later. Once you apologize, give it time. Continue to center, breathe, smile, and treat the employee with respect.
In addition, hold the vision that with time your relationship will be back on the right track. Visualize how you want the relationship to look as you continue to work together, and begin acting on that vision in your daily communication.
Think of a physical wound--it takes time to heal. While it's healing, you treat the wound gently, keep it clean, maybe smooth some cream on it to help the healing process.
It's the same with healing a relationship. Keep your communication clean, gentle, and yet honest and direct. Say hello, how's it going? Treat her as you would under normal circumstances, yet with the awareness of what did occur. You don't pretend the conflict never happened, but you don't have to abase yourself either.
Finally, remember that it's not only up to you. You have a part in this, and so does she. You cannot do her part for her; you can only do yours. If you give the employee room, she will find her way back to the strong connection that once existed.
First, this person did just the right thing—she apologized, and she didn't wait too long to do it. It's important to remember that we all react occasionally in ways that we think better of later. Once you apologize, give it time. Continue to center, breathe, smile, and treat the employee with respect.
In addition, hold the vision that with time your relationship will be back on the right track. Visualize how you want the relationship to look as you continue to work together, and begin acting on that vision in your daily communication.
Think of a physical wound--it takes time to heal. While it's healing, you treat the wound gently, keep it clean, maybe smooth some cream on it to help the healing process.
It's the same with healing a relationship. Keep your communication clean, gentle, and yet honest and direct. Say hello, how's it going? Treat her as you would under normal circumstances, yet with the awareness of what did occur. You don't pretend the conflict never happened, but you don't have to abase yourself either.
Finally, remember that it's not only up to you. You have a part in this, and so does she. You cannot do her part for her; you can only do yours. If you give the employee room, she will find her way back to the strong connection that once existed.
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