Selasa, 31 Agustus 2010

Don't Forget To Smile

I like to think that I have learned a lot of things from living my life. It seems my years have been filled with a whole lot of good things with a few really hard things in between. I have had the privilege of knowing a lot of really great people and I've enjoyed countless memories with each of them. I have been happily married for quite a few years and I've been blessed with several children. I feel pretty good today, but not every day seems to go this well. Some days life is hard, the people I love the most are annoying, and all I want to do is hide myself in a closet and cry. It is on those days that I remember the advice that my mother often gave me growing up. When I was having a bad day she would say, 'Honey, whatever happens today, don't forget to smile. Nothing is as bad as it seems.'

I've found that piece of advice helpful on countless occasions as I've grown. I remember in elementary school feeling like my life had ended because my pet turtle died. I was over his death just a few hours later when my best friend invited me over for a sleepover. Our time was full of smiles and laughter. Or in high school I remember feeling like life couldn't get much worse when I didn't get asked to the prom by the guy I really wanted to go with. My mom reminded me to smile and assured me that my life would turn out just fine.

The older I've gotten the more I've learned to face every day in life with a smile. Good days and bad days alike I try to face knowing that for the most part, life tends to work itself out and return to normal after a little while.

I think the biggest thing that has taught me to live each day with a smile on my face is having children. My kids have helped to renew the sense of wonder and passion that I used to live with. They have helped me to rediscover the possibilities in new challenges and they have helped me to seize moments. They are constantly doing funny things that keeping me laughing and that keep a smile on my face regardless of the stresses of my day.

Think about your life. Do you have reason to smile today? Can you find positive things to focus on regardless of the hard things that might be happening? I hope so. I truly hope that you are able to learn that whatever happens in life, living with a smile is a great thing.

Senin, 30 Agustus 2010

Does the Fear of Rejection Control Your Life?

Jay sought my help because he wanted to get married and have children, yet the relationship of his dreams seemed to elude him. When I first met Jay, he was an attractive, creative, brilliant and successful businessman in his middle 30’s. And he had a great sense of humor. It wasn’t that women weren’t attracted to him. He had no trouble having first dates with interesting, intelligent, and attractive women. But it never went anywhere. Jay was baffled.

When I first started to counsel Jay, he was very quiet. It felt like pulling teeth to get him to share anything with me, especially his feelings. He stayed in his head, brilliant in his ability to articulate, but flat and unemotional. He words were carefully planned out and delivered. He seemed to always be tense. It was very hard to connect with him.

“Jay, something seems to be in the way of your spontaneity. Are you aware of how carefully you pick your words?”


“There must be a good reason you do this. Do you know what that is?”

“I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“And what are you afraid will happen if you say the wrong thing or make a fool of yourself?

“I will be rejected.”

“So most of the time in conversation your intention is to avoid rejection?”

“Yes. I’m terrified of rejection. I will do anything to avoid it.”

“Jay, what are you telling yourself it means if someone rejects you?”

“It means that they don’t like me because I’m inadequate and unworthy.”

“So in your mind, everyone, especially attractive women, have the power to define your adequacy and worth?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“So when you are with women, your intention is to have control over how they feel about you so they won’t reject you. Yet you seem to get rejected over and over. How do you account for that?”

“ I guess I’m just inadequate.”

“Jay, how old do you feel when you are being so careful about what you say? How old were you when you started to do this?”

“I guess when I was about 14, when I started being interested in girls. I wanted to make sure that I made a good impression.”

“What made you believe that they wouldn’t like you if you were just you?”

“Well, for one thing my older brother was always putting me down, telling me I was a dork.”

“So you learned to believe that you were not okay for who you really are – that you had to pretend to be other than you are?”

“ Yes, I think that’s correct. I always feel that I have to impress people.”

“Jay, when you then get rejected, aren’t they rejecting your created ego self rather than your real, authentic Self? Isn’t it your wounded 14 year old ego self that is inadequate, rather than your brilliant, creative, funny, successful Self? Aren’t you trying to hide your true Self because you decided, from many early experiences such as that with your brother, that you are inherently inadequate?”

“Yes, I don’t think that who I really am is good enough. So I always have to be careful about what I say.”

“Yet the few times in our sessions when you have forgotten to watch what you are saying, you are incredible – funny, insightful, interesting, and totally endearing. Your true Self is completely lovable and worthy. Yet you spend so much energy trying to hide him, squashing him down in your efforts to avoid rejection. If you were to really get to know and appreciate who you really are, you would stop worrying about rejection! You would know that you are just fine, and that if someone rejects you, it’s more about them than it is about you.”

As Jay did the inner work to reclaim his beautiful essence, his true Self, his fears of rejection gradually diminished. And, of course, when he was able to be authentic instead of controlled and controlling, everything in his life changed, including his relationships with women. After two years of satisfying dating, Jay found the woman of his dreams.

Minggu, 29 Agustus 2010

Does the American government see its citizens as its children?

In Americas 230 year history the government seems to have forgotten that there job is to run the government as the people see as best and not the government telling the people what is best for them.

The most recent example is the Internet gambling Ban signed into law last week by President Bush. The bill makes it illegal for banks and credit card companies to transfer money to casinos for the purpose of wagering on sports or games of chance, like roulette, blackjack and poker.

These games are harmlessly enjoyed regularly by millions of Americans everyday, but some people become addicted to these games so the government is telling all of its citizens that no one is allowed to play these games in an online casino.

This is not the first case of the government going against the wishes of the people, in the early 1900’s the government decided that the consumption of Alcohol should be banned, because some people were developing health and mental problems related to drinking too much. So rather then educating the people on the ill effects of prolonged Alcohol abuse the American government banned Alcohol.

But instead of reducing the consumption of Alcoholic beverages it increased, and because the government was not allowing the production or importing of Alcohol, organized grime got into the moonshine business, and eventually the Government saw the error of their decision and repealed the law.

Another great example of a failed policy to protect the people is the war on drugs that the government has been aging since the early 1980’s Billions of tax dollars a year goes into the war on drugs, but what are the results?

The price of drugs has risen, and to support their habits many drug addicts have had to commit acts of robbery and murder to get their drugs.

The American prisons are packed full of people whose only crime was possession of these illegal drugs.

Instead of being an industry that is regulated and controlled you have people selling these drugs to kids in school playgrounds, and shooting each other to protect their territory.

Had the government decided not to criminalize drugs but make it a heavily controlled industry, they could use the tax money for social programs like schools ad to give Americans universal health care.

Please do not misunderstand me I am not in favor for legalizing hard drugs, but the current system is not working at all, but I am all in favor for legalizing online casino gambling.

If I choose to play some hands of blackjack or poker from the comfort of my home what rights does the government have to tell me not to, and what sense does it make that I can not play in a casino over the internet, but I can drive down the street to the local casino and play there.

To enforce this ban millions if not billions of dollars of software and computer hardware will be needed to monitor all of the banks transactions and that money will come from taxes instead of the government taxing online casinos or even having all the online casinos government controlled then they get all the profits to be used to improve the lives of the American citizens, millions of which are bellow the poverty line if not homeless.

The American government needs to start re-thinking its policy of treating its citizens like small children, or the American people need to demand a new government.

Sabtu, 28 Agustus 2010

Do You What Are Some Of The Self Improvement Products Available Today?

1. Self improvement audio programs.

One of the most effective learning tools available. In the fast paced world of today, finding time to read can be difficult. But it is easy to use otherwise wasted commuting and traveling time productively.

You can use this self improvement product to transform boring train or flights into inspirational personal development and learning experiences.

Imagine how much information you could take in a matter of months and what it could do to for your motivation to improve your life.

There are also those self improvement Videos and DVD's. Although you may not be able to attend all the seminars and workshops that could have a dramatic impact on your personal development and growth, DVD's and Videos offer easily affordable access to the wisdom and insights of the best self motivation experts. And all this in the comfort of your own home.

2. Self improvement books & eBooks

Self improvement books were traditionally the way that most people discovered the life changing potential of a commitment personal development and self growth.

Most of the classic works of personal development are now also available as eBooks, as are many of the modern greats and bestsellers. eBooks are one of the easiest, most popular and economical ways to expand both your library and your mind.

3. Self improvement coaching & mentoring

Professional self improvement coaching or mentoring is one of the most effective methods of self improvement and one of the best ways to get more out of life generally.

Many of the most successful people in the world contribute a large part of their success, both professionally and personally to the positive influence and guidance of a coach or mentor.

It does not matter if you are an individual trying to make the most of your life, a small business owner or entrepreneur looking for guidance and inspiration, or a senior executive or CEO of a major corporation with responsibilities to shareholders and for large numbers of staff.

Your own personal Coach or Mentor can have a massive impact on your personal development, productivity, results and happiness in every area of your life. Coaching and Mentoring can be face to face, by telephone or online, or often a combination of methods.

Participating in self improvement seminars and workshops with the experts in personal development and self motivation can also be one of the most effective ways to ignite your enthusiasm and passion for life.

This is definitely one of the fastest ways to get you started on the road to a more fulfilling life, and to supercharge your progress toward your goals.

Even if you cannot participate in person and attend a seminar or workshop, there are plenty of opportunities to tune in to a teleseminars with some of the best-known names in self improvement. Many of these are even free of charge so there's really no excuse for not joining in.

Each one of these self improvement products are made suitable to the needs of those who do not have all the time in the world but is still willing to make more out of themselves.

With all the self improvement products already out in the market, people who are bent on pursuing what they want in life have no more excuse for not doing so.

Jumat, 27 Agustus 2010

Does social anxiety lead to depression?

A defined number of people sometimes experience having a hard time in trying to interact with others. Shyness, isolation, and lack of interest prevent people from having good interaction with others. This is felt by certain individuals and gets to a certain point that is constantly just hard to manage. There are people suffering from a specific type of anxiety. Since anxiety is associated with fear and worry, social anxiety may also have the same characteristics or symptoms. People who are dealing with social anxiety feels that everyone around them is watching their every move, staring at them and whatever they might be doing, and even judging them (even if it is not really true). Socially anxious individuals cannot seem to relax and enjoy themselves while they are in public. These people think that other people are trying to evaluate them in some sort of way, being critical in what they do or say. People dealing with social anxiety feels the self consciousness and the idea of critical judgment while they are in other people's presence. It is considered hardly possible to just relax, focus, and go with the flow when one feels the anxiety and fear at the same time. Individuals dealing with this type of anxiety would probably like to be left alone. They seem to be more comfortable with doors closed behind them. Social anxiety is like paranoia, feeling that other people are observing them, criticizing them, judging them always in a negative way. Authority figures are believed to be the worst type of people that socially anxious individuals can encounter. Supervisors and bosses from their work, and also those who seem “better” then them can make them feel a higher sense of anxiety, fear, and worry.

It is a known fact that not all people are aware of this specific type of anxiety disorder. Some people get diagnosed as having schizophrenia, manic depression, panic disorders, personality disorders, or even clinical depression. All these are just misdiagnoses that may be more damaging to the person with social anxiety. Considering this situation, not all people with social anxiety knows that they have such a disorder, since this type of disorder is not generally discussed in the media. Therefore, they just tend to keep it to themselves, thinking that they are the only ones dealing with this kind of anxiety. Due to this, socially anxious people tend to feel the surge of depression. They do not talk to other people regarding their problems, their feelings and emotions. Everything seems to be negative in some ways, and all their thoughts are regarded as irrational. Social anxiety is serious if not treated as soon as possible. Proper therapy and consultation should be provided to those who are suffering from this kind of anxiety. It is better to get help from therapy professionals in order to avoid an increase in this form of anxiety, since this would worsen as time goes by. Family members can be of big help too, seeing that their loved one is suffering from such an ordeal. Proper communication is key, and social anxiety could be treated in due time.

Kamis, 26 Agustus 2010

Do You Value Yourself?

We all live. We all work. We all wish to have a family, have children, retire peacefully and then pass away. Is that all in our life? What is the true value you put to your life? What are you? What do you want to achieve so that you make a difference in the world? What memories you want to leave? These are questions all of us must ask. Billions of people in the world lead a routine life and pass away. Is that enough/ Can we not do something better? How to make ourselves valuable?

We make ourselves by giving. When we make others happy, we become happy. When we do something unselfishly, we feel good. Most of the problems in our life arise because of absence of giving. Marriages are getting broken for small reasons, because neither the husband nor the wife wants to give in. Both have their demands that must be met, otherwise separation.

Every child wants admission in the best college. Every person wants the best job. Everybody wants the best comfort. All of us want. What about giving? Few of us do that and that is our problem for dissatisfaction in our own life. We are slowly losing our self-esteem because of our own behavior.

Once we begin giving, we will be rebuilding our esteem. Try to help those around you. Tolerate few nuisances. Forgive others for their faults. Don't hurt people with harsh words. Don't act in a manner that destroys a life. Contribute to the world so that the world remembers us for our goodness. All of us may not become saints, but we can surely follow in their footsteps.

Rabu, 25 Agustus 2010

Do You Think You're in Control of Your Life?

You’re highly motivated to change, but you still can’t seem to stop behaving in ways you hate. You have excellent problem-solving skills, yet you can’t solve the personal ones that plague you the most. You know that if you do your job well, you’ll probably get a raise and/or a promotion, yet you go ahead and sabotage it. You know that if you’re considerate of people you’ll be well liked, yet you can’t stop being rude. You know that if you’re careful about saving and investing your money you’ll probably enjoy a prosperous retirement, yet you spend carelessly. Why can’t you figure out how to change your behavior and so change your life? Why, if what you’re doing is making you unhappy, can’t you stop doing it?

When we have problems that we can’t seem to solve, many of us start thinking that we’re lazy, inexperienced, or maybe even unintelligent. We do this because it’s too scary for us to conclude the alternative. What is the alternative? That it may not be possible for us to be in control of our lives. If it were so easy to be in control, wouldn’t we all just do it? Make the change, stop the pain, live happily?

Free Choice: Do You Really Have It?

This question of whether or not you actually possess free will has been a hot topic for a long, long time. From theologians to philosophers to the parents of teenagers, the question has been discussed and debated ad infinitum. Why? Because free choice and compulsive self-defeating behavior coexist in all of us.

Who Is Fighting for Control of Your Soul?

It’s not only God and the Devil who may be fighting for control of your soul—you’re right in there too. When you can’t believe that you’re behaving just like your parent did—even though you promised yourself that you’d be different when you were a parent yourself—you are entering the fray. People usually assume that they can control their lives because much of the time, by following good advice, by applying rational strategies, or by appreciating the lessons from past experience, they do in fact succeed. Yet, at the same time, many of us also recognize that our free will is limited. We recognize this most often when we come face-to-face with an example of our self-defeating behavior and we know that this behavior hasn’t budged even though we’ve done our best to overcome it. Which leads me to ask . . .

Willpower and Self-Interest: Enough to Make You Change?

When a magazine presents you with “Five Easy Steps to Losing Weight,” when an audio series offers “Four Tapes to Investment Success,” and a TV personality does back-to-back shows on “The Ins & Outs of Good Parenting,” you know that if you actually had control over life, achieving these goals and improving your life would be as simple as buying a subscription, purchasing some tapes, or turning on the TV. Nice and easy, right? Don’t we wish. But what happens when we do all of the above and we wind up failing anyway? What are we left to believe about ourselves? “I’m lazy.” “I’m stupid.” “I’m a screwup.” But here’s something to think about. Were you “lazy” when you were looking for a date on a computer dating service and you went through hundreds of potential matches? Is that what a “lazy” person does? Were you a screwup when you wanted a job and went out and made sure you got the right training to do it well? Is that what a “screwup” does? And when it came to learning how to use your new computer and you managed just fine, was that being “stupid”?

So actually, those reasons won’t work with you across the board, will they? Then what will? Because it is getting pretty frustrating not being able to use your intelligence, your energy, your determination to succeed in all areas of your life. The solution exists and it lies in our hidden self-destructive motivations.

If you could understand the nature of your hidden negative motivations, you could use that information to change. What if you had an illness, but you didn’t know it was caused by a specific germ? Your suffering could be long and needless because you might not know which of the available antibiotics was the right one to take. Or, let’s say you wanted to make yourself more attractive but you lived in a world without mirrors. It would be difficult for you to know what to do. Did you need to improve you hair, your complexion, or your teeth or your skin? These examples show us the important concept: to solve any problem and change your life . . . look for the underlying causes.

People want to be successful and happy in life. Period. So if you find yourself behaving in ways that you hate, getting bad reactions from people around you, and having little success using willpower and advice to change those actions, wouldn’t it seem that something beyond your control is dictating your actions?

You’re like a well-made ship piloted by a captain who forgot to bring the navigation charts on the voyage. All of the captain’s successes in other areas of his life won’t help him on this particular voyage. So in the next article, “The Major Behaviors We Hate” let’s roll out our own ship’s charts and see how to navigate the choppy seas of our lives.

Selasa, 24 Agustus 2010

Do you really like yourself?

When was the last time you asked yourself that question? Do I really like me? What is it about me that I like?
Most people spend their lives speculating whether other people like them: Does….like me? Am I attractive to ……? What have I done to upset…………
The upshot is you spend a considerable part of your life trying to please others. Trying not to offend others. Trying to keep the peace. No matter what.

Although you may well be successful using this method, the result is you spend most of your time doing what you think others would like. You are rarely effective.

Just think for a moment:
• How much of my day is spent trying to please others?

• How much time do I spend thinking I mustn’t say that?

Rather than try to make others fall in love with you how about falling in love with yourself. I don’t mean that in a vain, egotistical, self absorbed way where you’re always looking in the mirror and telling others how good you are. But, do you like being with yourself? Do you like the person in your body? If you met you on the street would you stop and talk to you. If you were in need of help would you stop and help you or would you quickly cross the road and avoid you?
Go on Be honest with yourself. Do you like the person in your body?
You see, when we fall in love with ourselves. When we can accept ourselves for what we are. When we know all our faults, flaws and blemishes as well as our agreeable, and delightful qualities and still want to live with ourselves then we have a chance.
When you love yourself it shows in the way you look. Your eyes sparkle, your face looks happy, you smile a lot. You feel confident. You feel comfortable. You don’t try to second guess what someone is going to say to you. You feel calm and at one with yourself. In fact, in a nutshell, you are someone everyone would like to get to know.
You don’t have to worry about pleasing others. You don’t have to worry about doing the right thing. People like what they see and gravitate towards you because the language of your eyes has changed.
All you have to do is be honest with yourself. Of course you will make mistakes. Of course not everyone will like what they see. But if you focus on being honest with yourself, on working with the real you, then gradually, as you gain more and more experience, there will be less and less mistakes.
There is a little secret. The secret is; as you become more and more at one with yourself, you become more and more composed and unruffled when you are with others.
But the best bit is: as you feel less anxious, less tense and peaceful you become happier.
Yes, you got it. The more contented you are with yourself. The more peaceful you become, the Happier you become. And it is that peace and happiness that shows on your face and then attracts others to you.

See, it’s simple. All you have to do is like the real you.

Stop thinking to yourself I mustn’t hurt that person. I don’t want to upset them. What can I do to keep them happy? Just focus on YOU.

In other words, stop banging your head against the wall, focus on the real you and do what’s best for you and watch your relationships improve.

Good Luck

Graham and Julie

Senin, 23 Agustus 2010

Do You Need Anger Management?

Anger management is not just for crazed maniacs or disgruntled executives. Learning how to manage minor and major irritations is something everyone needs to do. You may want to start by obtaining general anger management information and progress to enrolling in an anger management class. But first you need to recognize classic symptoms of uncontrolled rage that will alert you to the need for anger management.

Everyone loses their temper at times. There is no shame attached to getting upset when the dog has an accident on a freshly scrubbed carpet or a subordinate fails to complete a needed report for your one p.m. meeting. But if you find that you react in extreme ways, it may be time to consider anger management.

Anger Management - When Anger Turns to Danger

Do you raise your voice when things don’t go your way? Some people who are normally mild-mannered turn into yellers or screamers during a conflict. It can happen suddenly, where one moment you are self-controlled and soft-spoken, but the next finds your voice several octaves higher and many decibels louder. Your vocal tone and pitch, along with the words that come out of your mouth provide key indicators of whether you are a prime candidate for anger management.

Another symptom category to keep in mind when monitoring your mood is body language. Your fists may clench, your jaws tighten, and your muscles become tense as your ire begins to build. The next time this happens at home, head for the nearest mirror and study your profile. You may see things like bulging eyes, a frowning face, and a frozen posture. Conversely, serpent-like eyes and a frozen expression, coupled with a pale complexion, may suggest the need for anger management assistance.

Looking beyond the physical, it is also a good idea to seek others’ opinions about whether your temperament might benefit from anger management training. Some may suggest anger management exercises you can do on your own at home, perhaps while engaged in meditation. Others might advocate anger management counseling with a licensed, professional therapist, or anger management classes that you can work into your schedule.

You also may want to consider the consequences of any potential anger management problems you might have. For example, have you ever been written up at work for a problem stemming from your failure to practice anger management? Has your anger impacted a serious relationship in a negative way, whether it is with a spouse, child, parent, sibling, friend, or romantic interest? Has a family member or friend suggested that you need the help of anger management?

Anger is a healthy emotion that enables us to express dissatisfaction or disappointment with something in our lives. But when it becomes out of control, this personal irritation needs to be trained to remain behind wholesome boundaries. If you have questions about anger management control, visit for help in diagnosing any potential anger management situations for which you may need help or support.

Minggu, 22 Agustus 2010

Do you just Exist or Do you Really Live - You can have the life you Desire

The answer lies within your own mind. Aimlessly I’ve wondered thru my life, never knowing that I could be in control of my own future and destiny. The power lie dormant--not being utilized because I did not know how to bring it to life.

I had read success oriented books like “Think and Grow Rich,” for years. These books all pointed to utilizing my own mind. The product or vehicle for my own success was secondary.

So how does a person reprogram their own mind to keep them from living the same patterns over and over? My same mistakes were being repeated over and over again. I had been sabotaging my own success. With those same actions. I continued to receive the same outcome. But how to change the outcome--change the action which lead to the outcome. And how to change the action or what action to take was not known. Do you know the definition of insanity? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. That is what many of us do, even unconsciously.

Recently, I ran across a website that has been transforming my life into what I really want without all the struggle I had been accustomed to in trying with my own effort to achieve personal goals. This website gave me powerful techniques that revealed a secret technology that has enabled me to change my mindset and thereby start drawing into my life the situations, relationships and circumstances which are needed for my ultimate success.

This website gives information regarding 247 techniques to help a person achieve their desires. Although I’ve only implemented a few strategies so far, I am beginning to see changes in both my attitude as well as my pocketbook. My mother always told me that she could tell how much money I had in my pocketbook by the expression on my face. If only she could see me now and the changes that have been transpiring in my life.

This powerful information helped me to realize that I had developed a limiting belief system which I had developed while just a child. As an adult, I had never analyzed those beliefs, most of which I was unaware. These thought systems were still engrained within my subconscious. The information I received helped me to realize it was possible for me to reroute my mind to accept the success, prosperity and fulfillment which I rightfully deserved.

What would you do if I gave you a blank check? What would you do if you only had one year to live? What would you do differently? How many people could you influence and have a positive impact on their lives? The information I received helped me to understand myself and now make appropriate decisions for my future.

This information also helped me to create peace instead of the anxiety and depression I had previously experienced. My prayer is that it will do the same for you. My second prayer is that you “learn” to live and not merely exist. Yes, the answer is within your own mind.
Powerful techniques which can effect your own life and the lives of those you love can be learned at

Sabtu, 21 Agustus 2010

Do you just Exist or Do you Really Live - You can have the life you Desire

The answer lies within your own mind. Aimlessly I’ve wondered thru my life, never knowing that I could be in control of my own future and destiny. The power lie dormant--not being utilized because I did not know how to bring it to life.

I had read success oriented books like “Think and Grow Rich,” for years. These books all pointed to utilizing my own mind. The product or vehicle for my own success was secondary.

So how does a person reprogram their own mind to keep them from living the same patterns over and over? My same mistakes were being repeated over and over again. I had been sabotaging my own success. With those same actions. I continued to receive the same outcome. But how to change the outcome--change the action which lead to the outcome. And how to change the action or what action to take was not known. Do you know the definition of insanity? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. That is what many of us do, even unconsciously.

Recently, I ran across a website that has been transforming my life into what I really want without all the struggle I had been accustomed to in trying with my own effort to achieve personal goals. This website gave me powerful techniques that revealed a secret technology that has enabled me to change my mindset and thereby start drawing into my life the situations, relationships and circumstances which are needed for my ultimate success.

This website gives information regarding 247 techniques to help a person achieve their desires. Although I’ve only implemented a few strategies so far, I am beginning to see changes in both my attitude as well as my pocketbook. My mother always told me that she could tell how much money I had in my pocketbook by the expression on my face. If only she could see me now and the changes that have been transpiring in my life.

This powerful information helped me to realize that I had developed a limiting belief system which I had developed while just a child. As an adult, I had never analyzed those beliefs, most of which I was unaware. These thought systems were still engrained within my subconscious. The information I received helped me to realize it was possible for me to reroute my mind to accept the success, prosperity and fulfillment which I rightfully deserved.

What would you do if I gave you a blank check? What would you do if you only had one year to live? What would you do differently? How many people could you influence and have a positive impact on their lives? The information I received helped me to understand myself and now make appropriate decisions for my future.

This information also helped me to create peace instead of the anxiety and depression I had previously experienced. My prayer is that it will do the same for you. My second prayer is that you “learn” to live and not merely exist. Yes, the answer is within your own mind.
Powerful techniques which can effect your own life and the lives of those you love can be learned at

Jumat, 20 Agustus 2010

Do You Have This Bad Habit?

It's likely that all of us have this bad habit to some extent, and I nominate it for the title of the worst habit one can have. What is it? Fighting reality rather than accepting and dealing with things the way they are. Here are some examples, and a few suggestions as to how to break this habit.

Are You Fighting Reality?

Fighting reality is a subtle habit, expressing itself in everything from blaming others for our problems to getting angry at traffic, to wishful thinking. How do know when you are doing it? Watch for these clues.

Consider how rarely you complain, or are angry or annoyed because rocks are hard and water is wet. Your easy acceptance of the facts of nature is due to clearly seeing this is simply the way it is. You have no ideas that rocks should be soft or water dry. In other areas of life, however, you probably do have ideas about how things "should be." This is the first clue that you may be "fighting reality."

Of course you can work to make the world a better place, but you don't need to deny or fight reality to do that. I once failed in business because I felt that there "shouldn't be" regulations and complicated tax systems. I used these ideas as excuses for not doing all that I had to do to succeed. Entrepreneurs may agree with that laissez-faire viewpoint, but successful ones also accept that things are how they are, and deal with it.

A great way to excuse ourselves from taking responsibility, and one of the subtle ways of fighting reality, is to blame. Seeing the role that outside factors and other people play in our problems is honesty, but focusing more on assigning blame than on how to deal with the problems is just a bad habit. It's like a child screaming "I don't want it this way!" thinking that complaints will change reality. It isn't very productive, as you may notice in friends who find many things and people to blame in their lives.

Breaking A Bad Habit

Blame the person who chooses to be cruel to you, but you are also to blame if you choose to be abused repeatedly by spending time with this person. It's a bit like sticking your hand in a fire repeatedly, hoping it will one day stop being hot. Almost, I say, because a person CAN change. However, how often do they? Be realistic here, or you are fighting reality as surely as when you put your hand into a fire.

A person can wait for his "ship to come in," or can face the fact that people create most of the "luck" they have in life, and start working toward his goals. I can work for political change or just complain and wish things were different. You can watch people succeed, while talking about the "reasons" for your failures, or you can see what they are doing to succeed and try that.

Sometimes we don't want to see the truth. To really want to see it we may need to look at the futility of fighting reality. Who is more likely to find happiness in this world, a man who demands it should be the way he wants it, or one who accepts things as they are, changes what he can, and does what he needs to do? Who will more likely succeed, a man who knows all about how things "should be," or one who sees only what is there and deals with it?

Do you need motivation to change? Start watch complainers and blamers and those who say "should" and "shouldn't" too often. Watch closely, and you'll see how they suffer for their demands on reality. This is a bad habit upon which many other bad habits are based, but it can be broken.

Kamis, 19 Agustus 2010

Do You Have A Life Plan?

Do You Have A Life Plan?

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During the course of our daily lives, we make plans. We make plans for dinner, for trips to the grocery store, and for cleaning our house. We also make long-term plans for our education, our finances, our businesses, and our vacations. However despite all the planning that we do very few of us actually make a life plan and this is a critical oversight as a life plan would encompass all those areas as well as our self development, personal relationships and happiness.

During the course of our daily lives, we make plans. We make plans for dinner, for trips to the grocery store, and for cleaning our house. We also make long-term plans for our education, our finances, our businesses, and our vacations. However despite all the planning that we do very few of us actually make a life plan and this is a critical oversight as a life plan would encompass all those areas as well as our self development, personal relationships and happiness.

We all have the capacity for happiness and success in every area of our lives including our personal development, our relationships, and our professional lives, but happiness and success do not just happen. We must actively seek them out and set in motion plans and actions that will make them not only possible but probable.

That is why you need a life plan, but actually creating one takes time and thought -- something so many of us have little to spare. However don't begrudge the time you could spend on a life plan because in the end that time is a very good investment that will help you save time and stress once you have your life plan fully developed. And isn't anything that can help you achieve happiness and success a worthwhile investment of your time and energy?

Where You Are Now

Before you can begin crafting your life plan you must evaluate your current status. Reflect on the realities of your life including your commitments, finances, and dreams. What about your life makes you happy and what makes you unhappy?

Where are you now in terms of work, recreation, relationships, finances, and anything else you consider important. For example, I consider it important that my life contributes to the greater good and I have friends who consider the long-term impact of their life is an important measure.

Rate each of these areas with a letter grade with "A" of course being the highest score for the best possible life. Then calculate your overall life grade. Obviously if you have a 4.0 then your life is on track, but anything less means there are some areas you will need to work on.

It is important to identify the areas of your life that you consider successful or at least on track to success as well as the areas that you would like to improve.

Let Your Dreams Out

A big part of creating your life plan is letting yourself dream of what your ideal life would include in all the key areas you identified above (career, relationships, etc.).

Don't worry about realities or impossibilities. Just give your heart and mind free reign to picture everything you wish your life could be in terms of relationships and family; profession and career; finances and retirement; and how you'd like to spend your time (travel, hobbies, etc.).

If money and other considerations were not a factor what would you do with your time and your life? What gets you really excited? What have you always wanted? What do you love to do (professionally or personally).

Step Back Into Reality

Note the abilities, experience and strengths you already possess that can help you live your ideal life.

Make a list of the accomplishments you are most proud of in your professional and personal life. Can any of these help you achieve your idea life?

Evaluate your work style and habits. Do you work better alone, in a group, or as a manager? What time of day is your peak performance? How many hours a day or week are you capable of working at a high level of performance?

Now Make Your Plan

Once you have created a vision of your dream life and evaluated your strengths and weaknesses then you are better able to create a plan that will help you achieve your ideal life.

Perhaps your dream is to own your business but currently you don't have any experience with management So find a way to gain that experience through your professional work or in a volunteer capacity.

Now that you know where you want your life to go and you know how far along that path you have progressed then it is simply a matter of working toward your goal to achieve that life of happiness and success you desire.

Rabu, 18 Agustus 2010

Do You Create Good Luck?

Good luck? Maybe you have heard that luck doesn't exist, but you can see that some people seem to always have better things happen to them than others. Whatever you call it, would you like to have the secrets that these people have? Here is one of them.

Be In The Right Place For Good Luck

Good luck is often the result of simply being in the right place at the right time. Fortunately, you can choose to be in these places at these times.

A friend once told me "Did you see that truck John bought for $2,000? It must be worth at least $6,000. He's so lucky!" I mentioned to my friend that John bought it at an auction, where cars often sell for less. In other words, he was in the right place.

"I went to that auction once," my friend answered, "but I didn't see any deals like that." John goes almost every other week, I told him. Of course he's more likely to be there at the right time to get the best deals. He's so lucky that way.

That's the whole lesson, but in case it didn't sink in, I'll ask a few questions to encourage you to apply it in your own life.

Where are you more likely to get a "lucky break" as a movie star: in Clinton, Ohio, or Hollywood?

Do once-a-year or every-weekend fishermen have more luck catching big fish?

Will you have better luck in love at a party, or staying home to watch TV?

If you want to be a great skier, should you move to Alabama or Colorado?

Good Luck Places

I could talk all the time about investing in real estate, and have nothing come of it. On the other hand, when I recently went to a meeting of the local real estate investors association and mentioned I was looking for a fixer-upper to invest in, it took just three days for someone to call me with a deal. Lucky people go where the action is.

This really is a simple secret. To apply it, start with a pen and paper and answer the question, "What good things would you like to happen in your life?" Then make a list of places where these things are more likely to happen. Then go to these places. Then repeat the whole process and while you are at it, apply the other secrets of good luck.

Selasa, 17 Agustus 2010

Do Not Let Your Anxieties Overcome Your Self-Confidence

Some people who struggle with anxiety may sometimes lose their self esteem and self-confidence during the process. As a result, here is a list of techniques a person can use to help manage their anxieties, fears, and self esteem.

Remember that practice makes perfect. Whenever it comes to dealing with your anxieties or any other task; practice, patience, and persistence is the name of the game. If you don’t get the desired results the first time around, then keep trying until you do get the results. Through practice, you will become better at the task at hand and your self-confidence will increase. This also applies to managing your anxieties.

In every anxiety-related situation you experience, begin to learn what works, what doesn’t work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties. For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a walk to help you feel better. The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a walk. This will give you the confidence to manage your anxiety the next time around.

Sometimes, we can get anxious over a task that we will have to perform in the near future. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that you’re playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation and increase your self-confidence.

Don’t forget to Pray and ask God for help. A person can only do so much. Asking God for help can give us additional resources to help manage our fears and self-confidence. It is not always easy, however God is in control and he will help you if you ask him.

Write down on a list everything that you are thankful for. Do not take anything for granted. The next time you feel down, take out your list and review everything that you have listed. This is a great way to remind us of what we have.

As a layman, I realize it can be difficult to manage our anxieties and self-esteem. If you have trouble then talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears, anxieties, and self esteem. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. In the meantime, remember to take it one day at a time.

Senin, 16 Agustus 2010

Do Not Let Your Anxieties Get The Better Of You In The Business World

When doing business, do not let your anxieties get the best of you in the business world. It is important to know how to handle your anxieties and stresses. As a result, here is a list of techniques and suggestions on what to do in managing your business related stresses and anxieties.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, the first thing you can do is to divide the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

Sometimes we get stressed out when everything happens all at once. When this happens, a person should take a deep breathe and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get their mind off of the problem. A person could get some fresh air, listen to some music, or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things.

Sometimes we encounter a scary situation that gets us all upset. When encountering these events, always remember to get all of the facts of the given situation. Gathering the facts can prevent us from relying on exaggerated and fearful assumptions. By focusing on the facts, a person can rely on what is reality and what is not.

A technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that make us feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket. Whenever you feel depressed, open up your small notebook and read those statements.

Sometimes, it helps to be able to talk to someone about our stressful situations. Talking to a trusted friend, counselor, or clergyman can not only make us feel better, but they might be able to give you additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem.

Although I am a layman and not a professional I have interviewed many psychologists and clergyman and I have over fifteen years of experience in dealing with fear. Dealing with our persistent fears is not easy, however there are many helpful resources available to us if you look hard enough.

Minggu, 15 Agustus 2010

Do I Need Xenical Hgh Phentermine Detox To Stop Smoking?

Every smoker needs a good combination of quit smoking aids and products with a strong will to cease cigarettes. Though quitting is not easy always. Here in, I am taking up a quit smoking aid named as xenical hgh phentermine quit smoking detox.

Whether you use xenical hgh phentermine quit smoking detox or any other quit smoking aid, the main problem related to every type of smoking, be it a cigarette or a pipe, is how to tame the destructive, never-say-die agent, nicotine!

Nicotine is such a powerful, deeply entrenched enemy of the smoker that to dislodge it, clever and persistent efforts are required. All smokers have will power but many do not know that they have will power! They never get an opportunity to test it.

Xenical hgh phentermine quit smoking detox refers to a pill- a diet pill. The main purpose of any drug is to restore the balance. The balance that is lost by the body due to wrong living or may be due to any other reasons! The acceptable theory is that drugs as sertraline alter the receptors in xenical hgh phentermine quit smoking detox manner that restores the balance.

Xenical hgh phentermine quit smoking detox does another job as well. It participates in the battle of bulge. Such multi-benefit drugs need to be viewed with an analytical mind. There is nothing to feel happy about the cost saving involved. The side-effects phenomena need to be studied very carefully, before owning the drug for regular consumption.

The side effects about which there is near unanimity are, dry mouth and constipation. It is also believed that some illnesses such as depression are caused by phentermine. The use of alcohol combined with phentermine is likely to increase your risk for liver damage.

The pill goes straight into your blood stream. The results of any stuff that goes straight into the blood will be immediate, good or bad.

In the final analysis, there is lots of hype about xenical hgh phentermine quit smoking detox-and lots of doubts as well. As per the present research indications, the scale is weighing against it, and therefore, caution is the watchword before starting regular course of pills!

Sabtu, 14 Agustus 2010

Diversity And Unity: Embracing Our Similarities

Have you ever felt uncomfortable with someone because they were different than you? Maybe they had a different ethnic background or skin color, or maybe they were "book smart" while you are more "street smart". Maybe they dressed differently than you do, or maybe you were just repulsed by them and you're not sure why.

I had a disturbing experience this week, in which a person was publicly ridiculing me for my spiritual beliefs. I can't lie, it stung. We all want to be liked and accepted, and it hurts when we are rejected. I didn't even know this person, he just took exception to me because I was different than he was. He didn't give me a chance and try to find out if I was someone he might like to know. He assumed I was not acceptable because of one thing about me that didn't sit well with him.

Maybe you've had a similar experience? Have you been rejected by someone because of your religious beliefs, skin color, body size, ethnic background or some other reason? It doesn't feel good, does it? Over time, such experiences can make us question our own self-worth. What is really happening when a person is intolerant of another? I believe there are two dynamics playing out beneath the surface.

First, fear of the unknown. If we have no personal experience with people of different cultures, religions and societal "classes", we are usually laboring under stereotypes. Webster's New World Dictionary defines stereotype as, "a fixed or conventional notion or conception". In other words, we have been taught to believe certain things about certain types of people. If you saw a muscular man in a deerskin loincloth carrying a spear and wearing colored paint on his face, what would you think? Savage, right? If you were to encounter him while traipsing through the jungle, you would likely feel very fearful, and wonder if he meant you harm. For all you know, he might be the doctor or religious leader of his village. If you encountered him on the streets of New York City, you'd probably think that he had escaped from a mental institution. Not because he is acting insane, but because he appears different than everyone else. We fear what we do not know or understand.

Another reason we fear people who are different is because we often feel threatened by them. If someone's religious beliefs are right, then ours must be wrong. If a particular manner of dress becomes popular and we don't follow along, we are ridiculed and considered to be behind the times. We must drive the right car, buy all the latest electronic gadgets, and move within the right social circles. This is called "Competitive Thinking". In order for us to be right, someone else must be wrong. In order for us to be accepted, we must reject those who are different than we are.

This type of thinking usually stems from feelings of insecurity. When we feel insecure about ourselves (or aspects of ourselves), we often try to act over-confident, to hide that insecurity from others. In our competitive society, showing weakness of any kind can be the kiss of death. We often feel the need to tear others down, to build ourselves up. We can then look like the "winner". But do we really win in a situation like that? By tearing someone down in order to build yourself up, you only succeed in diminishing your own image. Most people will not see you as a Winner, but as a Bully. They may not verbalize it (otherwise you might turn your anger on them!), but they will be thinking it. That is not self-confidence, but arrogance.

A person who is truly self-confident feels no need to tear others down or ridicule or reject others. Rather, they seek to build others up, because they know that by doing so they build themselves up. A self-confident person is not threatened by someone who is different. They are interested in getting to know someone who is different. They see value in learning from others, and sharing with others.

No matter how different we appear to be from each other, we have alot more in common than we think. I have said many times that we are all connected on a spiritual level, and I truly believe that. You may have seen glimpses of that from time to time in your own life. Have you ever made eye contact with someone you didn't know, and exchanged a genuine smile with them? It may be in a crowded elevator or at a large gathering, or even on the street. For one split second, you are Friends with that person, even if you have never spoken to them. There is an exchange of energy taking place, and you recognize the God within them, as they also recognize the God within you. On a more physical level, we are also very much alike in the sense that we all want to be loved and accepted. We all want to provide security and safety for our families. We all want to live productive, happy lives. At our core, we are more alike than we are different.

Strive to focus on those things that we all have in common. No matter how different someone appears to be, try to recognize the things that make them similar. And honor those things that do make them different. Diversity is a wonderful thing. How incredibly boring this world would be if we were all exactly alike.

I leave you with a popular Sanskrit word ~ Namaste ~ (pronounced nah-mah-STAY), which means "the Divine in me recognizes and bows to the Divine in you". What a beautiful sentiment, to recognize and honor the spark of God in each of us. May we always strive to do so in our daily lives.

Jumat, 13 Agustus 2010

Discover The Hidden Superpower Of Your Mind

The mind is an infinite wonder. It has the fantastic ability to transmute your desires into their physical counterparts. You can do anything that your mind can conceive, as long as you have the belief and will power to back it up.

Take the case of cancer patients who were given placebo pills. These are just plain pills that have no healing capabilities. So how did they get well?

The power came from their thoughts. They were told that these pills contain the highest amounts of cancer-fighting ingredients which can effectively cure them in a matter of days.

See how powerful your mind is?

They believed that their health will be restored. They have registered in their minds that these pills will cure them of their illnesses. In the process, the belief embedded within their subconscious came to reality.

So how can you use your mind to achieve your dreams? One of the most effective ways is to use the "as if" principle.

Act as if you are the person you want to be. Act as if you are already in possession of whatever you long to have.

So what do you want to be? You want to be a lawyer, doctor, athlete, or newscaster? Think, act, and feel like one. You'll be much closer to your goal if you're constantly intact with your objective. Be obsessed with your dream. It doesn't mean that if you want to be Superman you'll fly out the window. Not a good idea!

It's not enough that you act like one, but you have to actually ACT. Do what needs to be done. You might get so lost in your fantasy dream world that you've forgotten to take some action. Let your visions encourage and motivate you to actualize your purpose.

The problem with the people of the modern world is that they are too preoccupied with worries, anxieties, and negative emotions. As a result, they are adversely affecting their state of health.

White lies have become prevalent nowadays in order to ease the burdens or to persuade others to do things that they thought are unattainable.

There was once a weightlifter who couldn't lift weights in excess of 300 lbs. So his coach devised a clever idea and told him that the barbell he has to carry weighs only 300 lbs. With all his might, the weightlifter managed to put it above his head. After he puts it down, the coach told him that he has just lifted 350 lbs. of weight! It's all in the mind!

A famous person once said, "Whenever you think you can or you can't, you're right."

If you think you are poor, then you are; unless you properly condition your thoughts to the positive mindset. I know it's hard to think rich if your environment is not conducive to such way of thinking. Use your imagination then! Visualize your house to be a mansion, your old car to be a limousine,... Well you get the picture.

There is absolutely no limit with what the mind can achieve. But you have to combine belief, will power, and action with positive thinking in order to arrive at your intended destination.

Kamis, 12 Agustus 2010

Did You Check Your Confidence Level?

Would you like to be confident? Your answer may be - YES.

I do want to be confident.

However, this answer lacks the impact. It is too generalized.

Just like everybody wants to do well in life and be rich but not many ever realize this wish. This is because to actually get somewhere in life, you need to quantify your confidence. You need to define the task for which you need to be confident so that you can execute it successfully.

A mere wish to be confident won’t take you anywhere. The dream must have a deadline as well!

Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups.

For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors.

For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to a new independent venture and so on. To execute their respective tasks, these people need a certain level of confidence, which would see them through.

Every task requires a minimum level of confidence to be able to be executed. Do you have a task in your mind to be done? Do you have the level of confidence required? Let us check it out!

Following is a simple questionnaire. You have to answer to these in a YES or NO

1. Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you?
2. Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure?
3. Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings?
4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company’s efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss?
5. Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare?
6. Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no?
7. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you?
8. Do you fear taking risks?
9. Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance?
10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings – being amongst lots of people?

If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks.

Don’t Panic, as it is good that you found out since now you are aware of a potential problem of your life. The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.

Here are some more questions you may answer.

1. Have you accomplished anything in the past?
2. Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion?
3. Do you feel you are well respected by others?
4. Do you think you have the potential to succeed?
5. Are you a happy and loving person?
6. Are you satisfied with your career graph?
7. Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications?
8. Do you feel in control of your life?
9. Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now?
10. Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person?

If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels.

However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very much possible.

It’s important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.

Rabu, 11 Agustus 2010

Developing Self-Discipline And Moderation

What is self-discipline exactly, and why is it important? I think many people in our modern society struggle with self-control (I know I do). There are so many temptations staring us in the face each day. Advertising is purposely geared to appeal to our emotional desires of wanting to be attractive, admired, successful and content. We are always on the search for the next best thing that will make us feel better about ourselves or enhance our lives in some way.

There is nothing wrong or immoral about our desires, except for one thing: When we consistently allow the desires of the "flesh" (i.e. physical selves) to overtake our minds and spirits, we eventually become very weak, and it becomes harder and harder to resist further temptation. Before we know it, we are unable to resist even the smallest desire, and we lose control of ourselves and our lives.

We know smoking is unhealthy. We know junk food is no good for us. We know we should be exercising each day, and getting enough sleep each night. We know that excessive debt is dangerous and unnecessary. Do we apply this knowledge in our lives? For many of us, the answer would have to be "no." Why? Because we live in a society of instant gratification. We can't fathom having to wait and save money for something we want to buy. Instead we whip out the credit card and pay much more for that item once the interest is added in. We can't imagine saying no to that plate of cookies on our co-worker's desk. They call to us, we find ourselves drifting powerlessly toward them and end up eating more than we should.

Have you had experiences like this where your mind says "no" but you seem unable to resist? I have too. So what can we do about it?

The dictionary defines Discipline as:

1) training that develops self-control, efficiency, etc.
2) strict control to enforce obedience
3) orderly conduct
4) a system of rules, as for a monastic order
5) treatment that corrects or punishes
(Webster's New World Dictionary © 1990, 1995 Simon & Schuster Inc.)

Self-Discipline is obviously applying these techniques to ourselves. Why would a person want to do this? What benefits are there in self-discipline? Who cares if we have horrible self-control? Who are we hurting? Ourselves, for one. In some cases, our family and friends. It depends on what we're having trouble resisting, and how often. Alcohol and drug abuse, compulsive gambling or shopping, excessive eating - these things can greatly erode the quality of our lives.

Strengthening our self-control is a powerful thing to do because it frees us. We are no longer victims of our own desires. Imagine being able to say "no, thank you" to that extra dessert, and meaning it. Imagine paying down your debt and owing only your current living expenses. Imagine having a strong, healthy body and a clear mind, free of chemicals. Talk about freedom. This is possible for all of us, if we are willing to sacrifice and put forth the effort.

For some of us, there is a whole wagon load of emotional issues that come along with our cravings. Maybe we smoke in order to smother our anger, rather than speaking up. Maybe we eat in order to numb our dissatisfaction with our lives. Very often addictions are born as a coping tool for emotions that we are not willing to face. When we begin practicing self-control, these re-awakened emotions will need to be dealt with and worked through. They won't go away on their own.

What it comes down to is asking ourselves this question: is it worth the effort? How much will our lives improve if we strengthen ourselves so we can resist temptation? If your worst habits are minor, such as having a few coffees in the morning, it might not matter to you very much if you strengthen your will or not. If you are a heavy smoker, drinker and compulsive eater, the matter becomes much more serious.

I think the most important thing to do is look honestly at our lives, and determine if we are out of control in any areas. For some of us, the answer will be no. For others, the answer will be a big, whopping YES. We also need to look at the level of desire for our activities. Just because a person chooses to drink several cups of coffee a day, does not mean they have an addiction. The key way to tell if we have a problem is to ask ourselves, "Could I live without it for a day?" Based on our answer, we can clearly see if that substance or activity is a problem or not.

Strengthening our will and resisting our desires is difficult. Many of us have become so weak that we can't imagine saying "no" to something we really want. It takes immense strength and conviction to resist those impulses. It also takes a strong desire to improve ourselves and our lives. Without desire, we probably won't be very successful in making lasting changes.

If the desire is there, however, even a tiny spark of desire, it is enough. Then we can begin the work that will change our lives in ways we never dreamed possible, and set ourselves free in the process.

Selasa, 10 Agustus 2010

Developing Patience

Webster's defines be patient as bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint, or being steadfast despite opposition, difficulty or adversity. I believe this why patience is called a virtue. It is little practiced, but much needed. At the first sign of difficulty, many jump to an easier, smoother path, hoping to avoid the pain and suffering that is necessary on the road to personal growth. But it is only by taking this rough road do we gain the experience necessary to develop our character. Impatience robs us of these types of life experiences. How would your world be different if you practiced more patience?

Patience is the ability to hang on when everyone else has given up. Patience is ability to release your need for immediate gratification and wait for the things to come in their own time frame. Patience overcomes criticism and intolerance. Patience develops committed relationships in marriage, family, church, community and career. Many a great leader have displayed patience by looking before they leaped, thinking before they acted, and considering before they decided. Patience is the mark of maturity. So now we know the virtues of patience, how do we develop more patience?

First, realize that no one is perfect, including yourself. Accept yourself and others, imperfections and all. Everyone is struggling with their own set of fears, weaknesses, obstacles and crises. We are all on the road of personal growth together and can help each other by showing more patience and kindness to each other.

Second, develop a consistent philosophy of life based upon a value system you believe in. Then when you are confronted with a situation, you can make your choice based upon the value system rather than an instant gratification response. With every choice is a consequence. Do you act now and settle? Or do you wait to get the result you truly desire?

Third, change your perspective on the past, present and the future. Stop dwelling on your mistakes and failures. They cannot be changed. Instead, focus and what you can do now to make a difference. Life is a blessing and each day should be lived as if it were your last. Start fresh everyday and remember the future comes one day at a time. What can you do today to change the results you have in the future?

Fourth, confront your fears rather than avoid them. Do the thing you fear the most and the fear will go away. "That which we persist in doing becomes easier to do, not that the nature of the thing has changed, but our ability to do it has increased." By doing more, it becomes easier, and when it becomes easier it becomes fun rather than stressful.

Finally, realize that all things come to those who wait. The Universe, the infinite force that connects us all, will bring the people who can help, the answers you may need, the tools and resources you are looking for when you need them. You must have faith and be patient and believe in your goals, realizing that they will often not be accomplished according to your original plans. Circumstances change. People change. Things change. Let go of your anxiety, disbelief and doubt about achieving your goal. Know that The Universe is constantly supporting you and will always help you achieve the things you desire. Just be patient!

Senin, 09 Agustus 2010

Developing An Optimistic Attitude

How's your attitude lately? I caught myself doing something surprising a few days ago: being a pessimist!

I was working on a big project and making great progress, when suddenly I encountered a big obstacle that would take more time and energy to get through than I had anticipated. The first words out of my mouth were, "Of course, everything always goes wrong for me." Gasp! Who said that?

I tend to think of myself as a positive person most of the time. I almost always have a smile or laugh available, and I try to look on the bright side of things. But I wasn't always like that. I spent most of my early life stuck in negative thinking. For the past few years I've worked very hard on changing my mindset to a positive one, and helping others to do the same. The other day I realized just how easy it is to slip back into negative thinking again.

To be fair to myself, I was frustrated when I uttered that negative phrase. It's understandable that we get upset when things go wrong. However, what I said simply isn't true. Everything always goes wrong for me. At that moment, all of the hard work I've done on myself over the past few years vanished. I was right back where I used to spend most of my time: being a "victim."

I like to joke that I own lakefront property in "Victimville." ;-) But I don't have to stay there. None of us do.

Expecting the Best
You've probably heard the phrase, "Expect the Best, but Prepare for the Worst." Do you really expect the best? Or are you just waiting for something negative to happen so you can say, "Everything always goes wrong for me." Isn't preparing for the worst the same as expecting the worst?

We can't expect the best AND the worst. We have to choose. In my moment of frustration, I was expecting the worst. Once I realized what I was doing, I decided to change it around. One obstacle does not mean my whole project is ruined. It just means I might have to work a little harder, or a little longer to reach my goal. What's the big deal? At that moment, the big deal was that I wouldn't achieve the outcome I was expecting, in the timeframe I expected to do it. Ah, notice the word "expect" sprinkled throughout that statement. How often do our expectations get us into trouble? For most of us, quite often!

So I uttered a phrase that would cancel out my previous negative one: It's all good. Whether I meet my goals or not, it's all good. Even if more obstacles come up, it's still all good. Everything happens exactly when it's meant to. That phrase has the power to relieve all pressure and stress, if we allow it to.

Reinforcing Postive Thoughts
The truth is, positive thinking takes consistent effort. It would be great if we could "fix" our negative thinking once and for all, and never have to worry about it again. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. We have the tendency to form habits around our most common routines, whether physical or mental. In order to change negative thinking into positive thinking, we need to work at it constantly.

There are two ways to do this:

Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones - It takes practice, but you can actually catch yourself thinking negative thoughts. Begin to form an awareness of when this happens. Because I've been working at this for so long, I immediately noticed when I uttered that negative phrase. If you are new to positive thinking, it might take some time for you to notice when negative thoughts come barging in. When you do notice them, immediately question the thought. Is it really true? Does it accurately reflect your reality? Even if it does, you can still choose something else. What reality would you like to create? Then form a positive statement that will cancel out the negative one. Every time you come across a negative thought, go through this same inner process. Question the negative thought and then replace it with a positive one.

Preventative maintenance - You don't have to wait for negative thoughts to come up in order to start thinking more positively. Make it a habit to purposely feed your mind positive thoughts each day -- several times a day. Keep it simple. Say things like, "I am a good person." -- "I love my life." -- "I'm good at what I do." -- "I make my own good luck." -- "I choose to be happy." -- and my personal favorite, "It's all good."

At first you might not really believe these positive thoughts, and that's okay. Keep at it. Say them as if you really did mean them, and eventually you will begin to believe it. Remember that our negative thinking patterns are a result of YEARS of reinforcement. Changing negative thinking patterns to positive ones takes time.

I'm in this journey with you, you are not alone. Remember that it IS a journey. We don't have to rush to the finish line, we just need to enjoy the scenery. It's all good -- really! :-)

Minggu, 08 Agustus 2010

Developing An Attitude Of Gratitude

What does Gratitude really mean? Most of us are thankful for the blessings we have in our lives. We have families we love, jobs that help us provide the necessities of daily living, good health, friends to laugh and play with, freedom and Free Will to live our lives the way we want to.

Most of us are very grateful for these blessings, but how often do we stop to focus and reflect on that? Probably not as often as we should. Why is Gratitude even important? Sure, we're thankful for what we have, but why should we have to dwell on it?

There is a very good reason! Have you ever given someone a gift, and when they open it they react with very little enthusiasm? They say flatly, "Oh yeah, thanks, I've been wanting one of those." Their words say "thank you" but their heart says, "big deal". You can feel that, can't you? Does it inspire you to want to give them another gift? Probably not. On the other hand, if you give someone a gift and they exclaim, "Oh THANK YOU, I just love it!", doesn't that lift your heart? You feel appreciated, and happy that you made them feel appreciated.

The one Universal Law that has had the most profound effect in my life is, Like Attracts Like. When we are truly grateful for the blessings in our lives, and we take time to reflect on them, we automatically begin to draw more blessings to ourselves. Why? Because we create what we focus on.

True gratitude isn't the act of mechanically listing the blessings in our lives every night before we go to sleep. Gratitude is an Attitude. It's a mindset of thankfulness and joy for the wonderful blessings in our lives. Our hearts and minds are lifted in joy when we reflect on the beauty and love surrounding us. It's a heartfelt acknowledgement that our lives would not be as happy as they are now if we didn't have those blessings.

Okay, so maybe not everything in our lives is perfect right now. Gratitude can be hard to foster when we are also experiencing struggle at the same time. Maybe we've just lost a job, or a loved one. Maybe we have difficult financial struggles. Maybe we are mired in depression and sadness. It's hard to feel grateful during moments like that.

That's where Faith comes in. Gratitude and Faith go hand in hand. Gratitude is reflecting on and being thankful for the blessings we do have, while Faith affirms that more are on the way. Maybe not everything in our lives is the way we want it to be, but some things are wonderful, and the things that aren't so wonderful will get better in time. Another job is just around the corner. Peace and healing will come to us as we go through the grieving process for our loved one. Financial struggles come and go. Depression and sadness will lift (seeking treatment may be necessary in some cases), and the sun will shine once again. Believe this. Know it in your heart. Affirm it to the Universe, and it will be so.

You know what I'm grateful for? You. Every single one of you who is reading these words right now. I'm deeply grateful that I'm given the opportunity to send even a tiny ray of sunshine into your lives each week. The letters I get back from you telling me that I've made a difference in your life, no matter how small, fill my heart to overflowing.

Be thankful for the ways in which you touch the lives of others. Some of them you may not even be aware of, and that's okay. Know that they do exist.

Take time to reflect on the good things in your life, not just today, but every day. Really let yourself feel the goodness and love surrounding you. Tell your loved ones what they mean to you. Embrace them and be thankful for their presence in your life. Focus on the Love, for it's all that really matters.

Sabtu, 07 Agustus 2010

Death changes perspective of living

We live and we die. But while living, most of us don't keep the thought of death in mind. A person suffering from an incurable disease may keep it in his/her mind, but not a normal person suffering from ordinary ailments. For a very big population on the earth, life is perpetual. That is how they think and live. Is this a right attitude? To a certain extent this is a right attitude and at times, wrong. Let us analyze further.

We not only live our life thinking that we will not die, but we also behave with others as if they will also not die. Let me give you an example. Let us talk about a friend. He/she does something or speaks something. We are deeply hurt. We feel bad, and we begin blaming the other person for many things. We don't think of forgiving and carrying on. Why? Suppose that friend of ours meets his/her death after a week. What will be our reaction? We will go in a remorseful mood and blame ourselves. The bad feelings that we had for that person loses all the meaning. That person is no more and no critical analysis or one-upmanship will help now. The situation has changed totally.

Accidents occur everyday. Anyone of us may die at any moment. No one knows about the time of his/her death. We all believe that we will live to a ripe old age and will die only after that. Sometimes, we don't even think of that. How about changing our perspective? How about keeping the thought in our mind at all times that - the person I am hating so much now, or I am arguing with so much now, may even die after an hour by meeting with some freak accident. This may change our perspective about all our relationships. Is this not true? It will change our thoughts about ourselves also. We will all begin thinking more of today and worry less about tomorrow.

Life is precious. Every life is very precious. Every heart is precious. Why hurt anyone including your ownself? Forgive everyone. Begin with yourself. Let death change our perspective.

Jumat, 06 Agustus 2010

Dealing With An Angry Person

Everyone is periodically faced with an angry person, and can be challenging to deal with. I’d like to share a few ideas in how to react to another’s anger, whether it’s a spouse, friend, or even a stranger. Some of these will also apply if you are angry yourself, which of course is something to avoid in the first place.

Listen - Let the person vent a little, and get their words and feelings out. If you interrupt them too quickly to defend yourself, it’s going to just make things worse. Wait for them to finish or for a pause. Being a good listener is an important skill in many other situations also. A good technique for listening is to ask questions. It not only helps you understand them better, but shows them you truly care to understand.

Stay Calm - Don’t go into anger mode yourself, it just compounds the situation. Just remind yourself that anger is unlikely to accomplish anything good, so why do it.

Validate - Validate their anger, do not just dismiss their emotions just because you feel it’s unjustified. The fact is that they feel this way, and you will help the situation by accepting and acknowledging the way they feel. Let them know this with phrases such as “I see that you’re really upset with me and am sorry this had to happen”.

Take Responsibility - Don’t let you ego assume that you are totally without fault in their anger. You may not be fully aware of how you come across or what you did. Just accept that your actions could have been responsible, regardless of whether the actions were justified. Find things that you can freely admit you were in error about, and this may help resolve the other person’s anger.

Time-Out - If possible, take a time-out, and let the other person cool down. Trying to debate the situation immediately will often make it worse. Give ti some time to settle down, and then discuss it if necessary. People will require different amounts of time to release their initial anger, so be adaptive to their needs.

Agree to Disagree - Sometimes you’re not going to ever decide that someone was right or wrong, and the debate can go on endlessly with each party trying to convince the other. In these cases, it’s best to just acknowledge that you each have different options, and leave it at that. We don’t always have to agree on things. Just “Agree to Disagree” then change the subject and move on to something else quickly. If you can find a win/win solution to the issue that’s great, however it’s not always possible.

Keep Perspective - Keep things in perspective, and ask yourself how important the topic of the argument really is in the big picture. It’s so easy to get into a huge argument over what is a trivial thing, and the debate becomes more a personal issue of proving something which really doesn’t matter. Be willing to just let it go.

Release the Anger - If you’re holding a lot of anger yourself, find a good way to release it. What works best will be different for each of us, but some ideas include: talking a walk, go for a bike ride, play a video game, work in the garden, phone a friend, go shopping, take a bath, or anything that will take your mind off it. Time is a great healer.

Avoid Violence - Never use physical violence against another in anger, if you are doing this you should seek professional help before you hurt someone. If you are the recipient of violent anger, then you need to physically get away from that person, as quick as you can.

With anyone you spend a lot of time with, you should work together towards ending anger. Make a pact to try to avoid this emotion which does your relationship no good. If you can both become better listeners, it will go a long ways towards reducing anger, because people will know they can count on you to listen to them. Anger will otherwise become their tool to get your attention.

Kamis, 05 Agustus 2010

Croisière Pour Lune de Miel

Les bateaux de croisière sont de plus en plus spacieux, afin de vous offrir le meilleur en matière de détente et relaxation et vous proposent de découvrir de plus en plus de destinations de rêves, de l'Alaska aux Caraïbes en passant par l'Europe.

Les croisières vous offrent un confort digne d'un cinq étoiles, son lot d'aventures, ainsi que l'opportunité de connaître de nouvelles personnes et de vous faire de nouveaux amis.

Mais pour la réussite de votre lune de miel, la croisière doit comprendre à son bord:
1) Du Champagne et des fraises dès votre montée à bord
2) Des canapés et autres attentions dans votre cabine un soir de votre choix
3) Une soirée "Lune de Miel" spécialement destinée à votre attention
4) Mettre à votre disposition des photographes

Pour cela, choisissez bien votre bateau. Celui-ci doit vous offrir les salles et le confort minimal suivant:

1) Des Restaurants devant vous fournir des repas de haute qualité,

2) Des Pubs, vous proposant les meilleures bières irlandaises ainsi que du champagne, doivent être disponible aux quatre coins du bateau et près des salles de SPA et solarium,

3) Au minimum un Centre de conférence,

4) Des activités sportives comme un Centre de Fitness, parours de golf, terrains de basket ball et volley ball, mur d'escalade, piste de jogging, patinoire, jeu de palets et bien d'autres encore;

5) Des activités sportives et éducatives pour les enfants telles le Club enfants pour les enfants de 3 à 17 ans comprenant une discothèque, des jeux vidéo et même un espace où leur est servi un repas;

6) Des Salons de beauté, un Complexe thermal complet incluant Sauna, Spa et Solarium;

7) Pour vos loisirs: Piscines, Jacuzzis, Casino pour pouvoir vous divertir dans une ambiance Las Vegas à l'aide de ses machines à sous, Discothèque, Salle de spectacles, Salle de cartes, Café internet, un théâtre.

8) Mais aussi des services du quotidiens tels: Galerie Marchande (avec bijouterie, magasin de souvenirs, de photos), Bibliothèque, Centre médical, Blanchisserie, et enfin une Chapelle nuptiale.

Les bateaux recommandés pour ce genre de séjour dépendent énormément de vos goûts et du choix de votre destination, à savoir si vous rechercher une évasion romantique au travers des forets tropicales et des plages ensoleillées ou culturelle pour visiter des monuments historiques et découvrir des mentalités étrangères. Pour cela, les listes ne seraient être complètes.

Les deux bateaux de croisières les plus connus sont les suivants:
1) Jewel of the Seas:
Mis en service en mai 2004, le Jewel of the Seas est caractérisés par l'allure innovante des super-yachts. Il possède un design avancé avec ses grandes surfaces vitrées dans les espaces publics et des ascenseurs de verre donnant sur l'océan.

2) Explorer of the Seas:
En route vers les Antilles. Ce paquebot est le plus grand au monde. Vous y trouverez plus d'activités et d'expériences que vous ne pouvez imaginer. Découvrez des aspects novateurs tels que le mur d'escalade vous permettant de vous élever au dessus de l'océan, la patinoire où vous pourrez déguster un chocolat chaud. Le soir, les boutiques, les cafés et autres animations du Royal Promenade s'ouvrent à vous. Cette esplanade, où il fait bon se promener, s'étale sur une longueur équivalente à deux terrains de football et fait 4 ponts de hauteur.

Rabu, 04 Agustus 2010

Crisis Management: The Most Basic Of Needs

Crisis management is something that every individual needs to consider. Whether you are preparing yourself for a crisis situation or if you are responsible for a school full of children, it is necessary to be prepared. There are excellent resources to help you do this and it also helps to take a good look at your individual situation. There are many types of crisis management situations and we will discuss that here.

Business Related Crisis Management:

• Public relation crisis: Could you be involved in negative publicity? It could destroy a company. Preparing for it is necessary.

• Financial crisis: Probably the most important type of crisis management that is needed has to do with money.

• Strategic crisis: What if the company is no longer viable? What would you do?

In these cases, you will want to prepare your company or business to handle any such situation. You will want to prepare plans to handle the immediate and long term needs of the company. The planning is necessary in every business out there.

International Crisis Management:

In this case, mostly dealt with and by government agencies, there is a strong need for preparation. The what if’s need to be decided upon long before there is a problem. Most government agencies have crisis management teams that are continuously updating as need for their information and strategies for protection.

School Crisis Management:

Most schools have an obligation to protect their children through crisis management. What would happen if there was a fire, a tornado or some other disaster? What if there was a bomb threat? Now, there are also crisis management strategies developed for dealing with violence and gun fire. You will also find that most schools have management plans in place for unwelcome visitors as well as a death or other emergency a child may experience.

At Home:

It is necessary for families to have crisis management plans in place as well. You will find that these are necessary in helping families to find a way out of problems such as natural disasters, fires and robberies. Dealing with violence, bombs, and even just an emergency in general is necessary.

Preparation is the key to the best laid crisis management plans.

Selasa, 03 Agustus 2010

Creativity And The Jack Of All Trades

You may be familiar with the saying, "Jack of all trades and master of none."

Well, I say, "Hooey." That's right. In fact, let me say it again. "Hooey."

It is perfectly possible to be a multipassionate person and do several things well. Many, even. I'm a writer, a mother, a photographer, a friend, an entrepreneur. Sometimes not all at the same time, but I do them all, and do them all well.

But I think one reason many people can't do many things well, or think other people can't, is a lack of creativity.

It takes a lot of gumption to juggle two small kids, a deadline on an article, a pan of spaghetti, and a friend who wants to talk about a problem at work.

It takes even more gumption, and creativity, to juggle five projects, and those same two kids and that same friend.

Sometimes the creativity is required to figure out how you can manage one thing later. "Jack, I know you want to show your new game to me right now, but actually, I've been asleep for about an hour. Could we do it in the morning?"

Sometimes the creativity is figuring out how to handle two projects at once. "Hmmm. If I write an article on creativity AND writing, I could use it in my writing ezine AND my creativity ezine.

Sometimes the creativity is in finding a sensitive way to say, "I can't right now." "Samantha, I know you want to play badminton. I have an abscessed tooth and can't move my head. How about Old Maid on the bed instead?"

And sometimes the creativity is just in remembering that these are people, things and situations you love and want to enjoy, and then going and enjoying them.

Senin, 02 Agustus 2010

Creating Your Own Spring Break Without Traveling Anywhere

Remember Spring Break as a kid? Maybe you traveled somewhere fun, or maybe you visited family, or maybe you stayed home and played.

It didn’t matter.

After a winter that seemed to never stop, and school everyday, you were ready for that break . . . ready for something to revive and refresh you . . . something to change your perspective and help you get through to the end of the school year.

Now you are an adult, and your time horizon is a bit longer. You aren’t just trying to get to the end of the school year, but you may still feel those some late winter blahs. Even as adults we need a break at the start of spring.

The rest of this article is going to offer you five pairs of questions that can use to create a spring break for yourself without ever leaving your home or office. Even if you’ve taken a spring break trip or vacation recently, read on.

The Questions

What makes work most fun? / How can I do more of that today and everyday?

What would WOW my Customers today? / How do I know?

What risk have I taken lately? / What did I learn from that experience?

What was my childhood dream? / What does it tell me about myself now?

What is one thing I could do to refresh my perspective? / When will I do it?

How to Use Them

Reading the questions is a nice start, but that alone won’t create your mental break (or breakthrough). The questions are useful, but it is your answers that will help you reframe, re-focus, refresh, rejuvenate, and recuperate – just like spring breaks used to do. In other words, the most important thing to do with these questions is to think about your answers to them.

Here are some steps that will help you use these questions to create new perspectives and ideas.

1. Read the questions again. Make a note (mentally or on paper) the pair or pairs that seem to jump out at you the most.
2. Spend 10-15 minutes today reflecting on the pair of questions you noted.
3. Jot down your thoughts and ideas on a piece of paper, in your planner, or your journal.
4. Read your answers tomorrow morning and reflect on the fresh perspective, energy and excitement you feel.
5. Repeat these steps for any or all of the other question pairs.

Do this for all five question pairs and you have created a five day mental vacation!

If this sounds like it will take some time, you are right. But when you consider the results you will gain, and that it is a lot cheaper than booking a flight to a spring break destination, you’ll realize the time is well worth it.

Remember that better questions help us produce better answers. And that better answers, when put into action can change our lives.

Invest these few minutes in thinking and you’ll reap the benefits of a fresh perspective and gain new outlook on the spring and early summer. Your answers will help you be more productive and enjoy your days more.

Many people go on vacation to relax and rejuvenate themselves. They spend hours in planning and preparation. Most people spend an hour or more to plan their weekend activities. Investing one hour over the next several days with these questions and the process I’ve outlined will give you a greater return than those other time investments and will make a difference in your life and results.