If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?
Sometimes we forget how fleeting life is. There are no guarantees. We might be here until we're 100 years old, or we might check out in our twenties or thirties. We just don't know. But most of us tend to trick ourselves into believing that we have all the time in the world. We procrastinate, hesitate and put off the things that are truly important to us.
If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, would you have any regrets? Would you feel a sense of loss for all the things you didn't do? I'm not referring to major accomplishments like climbing a mountain. I mean the smaller, more precious moments in life. Would you regret not spending more time with your children or spouse? Would you feel disappointed that you never signed up for those dance lessons you've always wanted to take, or wrote the book that's hiding in your heart?
Think back to your childhood for a moment. Remember how slowly time seemed to move? Remember how people in their twenties seemed old, and people in their thirties and forties seemed positively ancient? My grandmother told me years ago that the older you get, time moves more quickly. I didn't believe her. I was a teenager when she told me that, and to my astonishment, more than 20 years have passed since then. How is that possible? Where did the time go? It seems like yesterday I was graduating from high school and had my whole life ahead of me. Time really does seem to move more quickly as you get older. I'll have to remember to tell that to my own grandchildren. *grin*
So, how can we live our lives in a way that will leave us with no regrets? It seems that life has gotten so busy for most of us. How do we find the time and energy to do what really matters? Most of us still have to work, we have responsibilities and demands on our time. Is filling up our schedule with more "stuff" really the answer? No, I don't think so.
I think the answer isn't so much about adding more to our lives, but rather, more deeply enjoying the lives we have now. Certainly we should follow our dreams and engage in fun activities. If you really want to sign up for those dance lessons, go for it. If you have a novel begging to be written, write it! But adding those activities alone will not transform our entire lives.
What transforms a person's life is how present they are in their day to day tasks. While you're working, immerse yourself in the work. Give it your full attention and effort and passion. When you put aside your work for the day, also put it out of your mind. When you are spending time with your family, enjoy them. Laugh, have fun, play. Engage meaningfully with your spouse. Let your family know how much you love and appreciate them.
Finally, and most importantly, allow yourself to really experience life. Take frequent moments throughout your day to breathe, feel, BE. Too many of us spend our days in a rushed fog. We don't take time to awaken and enjoy. We are sleeping through the best parts of our lives. Simply opening our spiritual eyes and looking around can refresh and invigorate us.
Cherish each moment you have on this earth. Live with passion, joy and awe. Cram as much happiness, fun and love into your life as you can. Then when regret comes knocking at your door, there is simply no room for it to come in.
Sabtu, 31 Juli 2010
Jumat, 30 Juli 2010
Creating a Life Worth Living, Part 3
Copyright 2006 Melissa Galt
Getting Launched and Letting Go
In the meantime, I was launching my own design practice six months earlier than planned. I had to put some pieces inherited from Mother up for auction to gain some working capital and pay down debt. I like to think of it as she was there to help, but it was tough because they were pieces I had grown up with.
I had never worked with an independent designer, so I was truly winging it. I made a lot of blunders, yet knowing I was pursuing my passion made it all possible. It was scary without a client for three months, so I stayed in catering for a year and a half. My classes were popular and soon I was seeing business growing. Referrals didn’t really kick in until the eighteenth month mark, not unusual, but it seemed forever. In the meantime, I focused on abundance, on prosperity, and fought back any doubts.
The Lesson: It is our doubts that betray us, and since what we think about expands, it is critical to focus exclusively (though not blindly) on positive results and achievements and let go the what ifs.
Time to Think
In 1999 I took five weeks off for a trip to Australia and New Zealand. It was during this trip that I reached some true milestones. I had unknowingly battled long-term depression since my early twenties, unknowingly since it was undiagnosed, and I just assumed that the emotional rollercoaster I was on was part of who I was. It was tough, the high highs, the rock-bottom, black lows and never predictable.
No, I didn’t qualify as bipolar; that would have been too easy. And besides, it was the age when depression was “cool.” Pop a pill everyone said. I wasn’t into medication aside from the occasional aspirin and vitamin C to ward off a hangover (I unsquared after college).
I thought that maybe this disorder ran in the family, knowing that my mother had been a big proponent of counseling and remembering the saying about great-grandfather, that genius is always next to madness. But the Australia trip was solo, and for the first time in my life I felt at home when I stepped off the plane in Sydney. I can only guess it was some unique imprinting from when I was a one-year-old and taken there to live for a year on my parents’ ranch, an indelible impression.
The Lesson: When you find your roots and a real sense of home, you experience a sense of security that is previously unknown. Perhaps you are lucky enough never to have lost it, but if you have, it is still to be found.
Fearless Results
Anyway, it seemed a big adventure and I wanted to do it all. From climbing the Sydney harbor bridge to bungee jumping and tandem hang-gliding in Queenstown, New Zealand. I suddenly realized I had no fear. I wasn’t careless or carefree, but I had been to such dark places emotionally and mentally, that I realized that each and every day is a choice for each of us.
Few like to admit that, and most immediately assume I am talking life or death. Well, I could be, but consider that so many people go through this life only partially alive; I had, and I finally realized it and made the decision to live fully going forward. And since that was the case, I was going to seize it, live it, and experience it to its fullest. Having always been very unathletic and convinced that I couldn’t do anything of that nature, this was a huge step.
Now, whenever I feel even slightly stuck, or my life seems to have stalled, I will do something new whether it is parasailing, sky diving, or attending an event where I know no one (that can be truly frightening, if you let it).
The Lesson: Life is an adventure to be lived, not a problem to be solved.
Success
I returned with new vision, new ideas, and new energy. And by 2000, after six years in my own practice, I had a full assistant on board and two other part-timers. The company was slated to break $1 million in sales and I was opening a retail venture the following year.
But, yikes, I had forgotten one of my previous lessons learned. I hated retail! I hated staying in one place all day long, relying on others to come to me for business rather than going to them. I loved setting up the storefront, the renovation, the design, buying goods for sale, inventorying and all. It was much like the best parts of my first career. But the old day-to-day operations were the same -- mundane, tedious, and not for me. Of course, opening the month of September 2001 definitely put a damper on things as well. I stuck it out for two years, but found it just wasn’t working.
I was the first kid on the block of a restored strip center in what should have been a great location but without like-minded vendors nearby and traffic really stopping, sales were weak at best. I pioneered and that can get very expensive! The good part is that I have acquired two very valuable and wonderful clients from that experience.
The Lesson: Each new experience allows us a new learning opportunity. There is no such thing as failure, just unrealized success or lessons not yet learned and therefore repeated. I learned a lot!
Regrouping
I opted to store my unsold inventory, placing it as projects arose, and return to focus solely on design services and teaching. I had even created a private certification program for decorators at my shop and moved that back to my office location.
It was a move that ultimately saved my business. I had to cut staff to bare bones and return to a revolving door of free interns every ninety days. Frustrating, but affordable. And while it has taken the last four years, we are back solidly and I am now reinventing myself again.
Once I made the decision in Australia that fear is a choice, I simply don’t choose it. Rejecting fear opened up unlimited potential and achievement for me. Most of us lose our dreams because we lose the possibility of them. I will never lose that again, because I have learned that I can redirect, refocus, and reinvent as much and as often as I need to.
I know that I have all the skills and talent needed to make my dreams a reality; I just have to persist and persevere. I want to give back, and give forward, and give today, and know that the giving I have already done is coming back to me in great abundance.
The Lesson: It is by giving of ourselves that we truly realize our worth and create a legacy for ourselves and for others.
Giving Back
I am now on a mission to share my experiences and my vision with others: to help them realize their dreams, and achieve their goals, and overcome the obstacles along the way. Too many we know stay stuck, complaining and waiting for some outside force to change what has to happen from within. It is truly disheartening to imagine how many achieve so little and wish for so much. Without purpose and passion, life is merely an existence and time filler.
The Lesson: We have this journey but once; make it count and make it yours.
Getting Launched and Letting Go
In the meantime, I was launching my own design practice six months earlier than planned. I had to put some pieces inherited from Mother up for auction to gain some working capital and pay down debt. I like to think of it as she was there to help, but it was tough because they were pieces I had grown up with.
I had never worked with an independent designer, so I was truly winging it. I made a lot of blunders, yet knowing I was pursuing my passion made it all possible. It was scary without a client for three months, so I stayed in catering for a year and a half. My classes were popular and soon I was seeing business growing. Referrals didn’t really kick in until the eighteenth month mark, not unusual, but it seemed forever. In the meantime, I focused on abundance, on prosperity, and fought back any doubts.
The Lesson: It is our doubts that betray us, and since what we think about expands, it is critical to focus exclusively (though not blindly) on positive results and achievements and let go the what ifs.
Time to Think
In 1999 I took five weeks off for a trip to Australia and New Zealand. It was during this trip that I reached some true milestones. I had unknowingly battled long-term depression since my early twenties, unknowingly since it was undiagnosed, and I just assumed that the emotional rollercoaster I was on was part of who I was. It was tough, the high highs, the rock-bottom, black lows and never predictable.
No, I didn’t qualify as bipolar; that would have been too easy. And besides, it was the age when depression was “cool.” Pop a pill everyone said. I wasn’t into medication aside from the occasional aspirin and vitamin C to ward off a hangover (I unsquared after college).
I thought that maybe this disorder ran in the family, knowing that my mother had been a big proponent of counseling and remembering the saying about great-grandfather, that genius is always next to madness. But the Australia trip was solo, and for the first time in my life I felt at home when I stepped off the plane in Sydney. I can only guess it was some unique imprinting from when I was a one-year-old and taken there to live for a year on my parents’ ranch, an indelible impression.
The Lesson: When you find your roots and a real sense of home, you experience a sense of security that is previously unknown. Perhaps you are lucky enough never to have lost it, but if you have, it is still to be found.
Fearless Results
Anyway, it seemed a big adventure and I wanted to do it all. From climbing the Sydney harbor bridge to bungee jumping and tandem hang-gliding in Queenstown, New Zealand. I suddenly realized I had no fear. I wasn’t careless or carefree, but I had been to such dark places emotionally and mentally, that I realized that each and every day is a choice for each of us.
Few like to admit that, and most immediately assume I am talking life or death. Well, I could be, but consider that so many people go through this life only partially alive; I had, and I finally realized it and made the decision to live fully going forward. And since that was the case, I was going to seize it, live it, and experience it to its fullest. Having always been very unathletic and convinced that I couldn’t do anything of that nature, this was a huge step.
Now, whenever I feel even slightly stuck, or my life seems to have stalled, I will do something new whether it is parasailing, sky diving, or attending an event where I know no one (that can be truly frightening, if you let it).
The Lesson: Life is an adventure to be lived, not a problem to be solved.
Success
I returned with new vision, new ideas, and new energy. And by 2000, after six years in my own practice, I had a full assistant on board and two other part-timers. The company was slated to break $1 million in sales and I was opening a retail venture the following year.
But, yikes, I had forgotten one of my previous lessons learned. I hated retail! I hated staying in one place all day long, relying on others to come to me for business rather than going to them. I loved setting up the storefront, the renovation, the design, buying goods for sale, inventorying and all. It was much like the best parts of my first career. But the old day-to-day operations were the same -- mundane, tedious, and not for me. Of course, opening the month of September 2001 definitely put a damper on things as well. I stuck it out for two years, but found it just wasn’t working.
I was the first kid on the block of a restored strip center in what should have been a great location but without like-minded vendors nearby and traffic really stopping, sales were weak at best. I pioneered and that can get very expensive! The good part is that I have acquired two very valuable and wonderful clients from that experience.
The Lesson: Each new experience allows us a new learning opportunity. There is no such thing as failure, just unrealized success or lessons not yet learned and therefore repeated. I learned a lot!
Regrouping
I opted to store my unsold inventory, placing it as projects arose, and return to focus solely on design services and teaching. I had even created a private certification program for decorators at my shop and moved that back to my office location.
It was a move that ultimately saved my business. I had to cut staff to bare bones and return to a revolving door of free interns every ninety days. Frustrating, but affordable. And while it has taken the last four years, we are back solidly and I am now reinventing myself again.
Once I made the decision in Australia that fear is a choice, I simply don’t choose it. Rejecting fear opened up unlimited potential and achievement for me. Most of us lose our dreams because we lose the possibility of them. I will never lose that again, because I have learned that I can redirect, refocus, and reinvent as much and as often as I need to.
I know that I have all the skills and talent needed to make my dreams a reality; I just have to persist and persevere. I want to give back, and give forward, and give today, and know that the giving I have already done is coming back to me in great abundance.
The Lesson: It is by giving of ourselves that we truly realize our worth and create a legacy for ourselves and for others.
Giving Back
I am now on a mission to share my experiences and my vision with others: to help them realize their dreams, and achieve their goals, and overcome the obstacles along the way. Too many we know stay stuck, complaining and waiting for some outside force to change what has to happen from within. It is truly disheartening to imagine how many achieve so little and wish for so much. Without purpose and passion, life is merely an existence and time filler.
The Lesson: We have this journey but once; make it count and make it yours.
Kamis, 29 Juli 2010
Creating a Life Worth Living, Part 2
Copyright 2006 Melissa Galt
The Real World
This vision was short lived. I moved home and after two weeks of working a retail, full-time job, I came home and declared I wanted to go to college. I found I wasn’t quite ready for the realities of a real job! Of course, I was paying rent, as the deal Mother made was that, if we moved home after college, it was no free ride. And college was a partial gift of my grandparents; the rest was banquet waitressing. I finished out the year and a half working but did apply to colleges. My heart was set on returning to the West Coast, where I was born and raised.
While I was in boarding school, Mother had remarried and moved to Connecticut. I applied and got into a string of schools from UC Santa Barbara to UC Denver. She suggested Cornell University but I knew I wouldn’t get in. I had only a 3.3 average and didn’t figure that was Ivy League material. She urged and I acquiesced. Then, lo and behold, I got in. Guess I didn’t know it all after all! They thought I was “well adjusted” (I guess a year in the real world had some benefits). That presented a problem; I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t want to let Mother down.
I knew it was a great educational opportunity, so I followed her dream (she had not been to college) and back-burnered my own. Sometimes it is necessary to examine the big picture and what the benefits will be when the choice doesn’t seem ideal.
The Lesson: Life is about choices, and each of us is the reflection of the choices we have made to date. We can remain as we have chosen or make new choices and change our direction and our reality.
Not the Good Old Days
I can safely say that it was a fairly miserable four years. I wanted to transfer so many times, I lost count. But I stuck it out since neither of my sisters was particularly scholastically inclined, and I didn’t want to disappoint. I wanted to live up to expectation, even if it wasn’t my own expectation. I did get a great education and always get a kick when someone looks at me wide-eyed with genuine surprise to think that I went to an Ivy League school.
I guess I am supposed to be arrogant or grand or some other something that I am clearly not. More often, I am described as down-to-earth and accessible, and willing to tell all.
The Lesson: Where we are from does not determine who we are, or where we are going. That is up to us.
As Expected
Having made it through the four years, I embarked, predictably, into a career in hospitality purchasing. Essentially, if you ate it, drank it, wrote with it, or slept on it, I bought it. For six years, I moved every eight months to a new company, a new property, a new city, and a new state. With little time for socializing, I made few friends, and fewer connections. But in each place I designed my home as if I’d be there forever.
It was my roots and my foundation. It ensured that I had a haven at the end of the day and a place to escape the daily grind. The most creative I was able to get at work was designing the storerooms and freezers. My staff would all groan when I would don a puffy thermal freezer suit and announce it was time to organize! I loved the first three months of every position, cleaning up the place, establishing systems and controls, and then I got bored. Yeah, probably attention deficit disorder. I was a big-picture thinker and found the day-to-day details tedious and boring.
The Lesson: Pay attention to the parts you enjoy and those you don’t. Consider how you can make the parts you enjoy the greater share of what you do. Reinvent yourself as needed.
Finding the Passion
I finally hit a wall, about five years after my mother passed away. She had left a huge hole in my life, dying suddenly when I was 24. I realized at age 30 that while I was making good money and one of the few women in my career path, I was miserable every day. I dreaded going in to work and couldn’t leave fast enough.
It was time for a change. I knew that my mother and great-grandfather and even my godmother had all lived their passions, and that life was too short not to go in the direction of my dreams. So I quit. I’d never quit a job before, and it was an amazing relief. I took three months off to think about my next step, and I decided to return to school for interior design in Birmingham, Alabama where I had worked previously. I already had a four-year degree and wanted the shortest, most direct route to my new career. I knew Birmingham had a low cost of living that would enable me to focus on school for six months before needing to combine that with a full-time job. I did it, and it worked!
The Lesson: Life is about risk, both known (calculated) and unknown. If we knew it all, we would have no opportunities for growth and surprise. Change your definition of risk to opportunity.
Finding the Place
So after cramming a three-year program into two years, I discovered that with all the travel Mother had shared with us and the museums we had been dragged to (kicking and screaming), I was light-years ahead of most of my peers and even a few instructors.
Being different was finally paying off. And I was ahead in that I had managed to secure a plum position with a local architecture and design firm that launched me in design. I followed that with a stint managing a local textile warehouse and then was ready for a change in scenery. I wanted to pursue life in the Windy City; I wanted to get out of the South and experience architectural history and mastery, the Art Institute, and much more.
While I landed two opportunities on a commission basis, I lacked the essential confidence to take either, and the position I most desired never materialized. So I reset my sights closer to home and explored Atlanta.
The Lesson: Be flexible in the details; the big picture is never set in stone.
The Wild Blue Yonder, Without a Net
Atlanta proved to be a fortuitous decision in 1992. I started off working with a major furniture retailer in its design department. Eighteen months later I found myself going head-to-head with my manager over vacation pay. She said I didn’t have it coming, and I claimed I did. I walked. The check showed up two weeks later. I was right, but I was also unemployed without a client in the world. I had managed to rack up some $70K in credit card debt since my mother had passed, foolishly trying to fill the gaping hole I felt with her absence. I had rent and a car payment to boot.
Panic seemed a good option, but there was just no time. I immediately started work with a catering company, supervising their kitchen event operations on weekends. Often it meant running the hot and steamy dish machine, but it was money. I also pitched Evening at Emory and Oglethorpe University about creating and teaching classes on interior decorating for their adult education program. They both picked me up and I taught as many as five different classes during a decade. Easy it wasn’t, but it was worth it.
The Lesson: Do what you have to do, to get to doing what you want to do.
The Real World
This vision was short lived. I moved home and after two weeks of working a retail, full-time job, I came home and declared I wanted to go to college. I found I wasn’t quite ready for the realities of a real job! Of course, I was paying rent, as the deal Mother made was that, if we moved home after college, it was no free ride. And college was a partial gift of my grandparents; the rest was banquet waitressing. I finished out the year and a half working but did apply to colleges. My heart was set on returning to the West Coast, where I was born and raised.
While I was in boarding school, Mother had remarried and moved to Connecticut. I applied and got into a string of schools from UC Santa Barbara to UC Denver. She suggested Cornell University but I knew I wouldn’t get in. I had only a 3.3 average and didn’t figure that was Ivy League material. She urged and I acquiesced. Then, lo and behold, I got in. Guess I didn’t know it all after all! They thought I was “well adjusted” (I guess a year in the real world had some benefits). That presented a problem; I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t want to let Mother down.
I knew it was a great educational opportunity, so I followed her dream (she had not been to college) and back-burnered my own. Sometimes it is necessary to examine the big picture and what the benefits will be when the choice doesn’t seem ideal.
The Lesson: Life is about choices, and each of us is the reflection of the choices we have made to date. We can remain as we have chosen or make new choices and change our direction and our reality.
Not the Good Old Days
I can safely say that it was a fairly miserable four years. I wanted to transfer so many times, I lost count. But I stuck it out since neither of my sisters was particularly scholastically inclined, and I didn’t want to disappoint. I wanted to live up to expectation, even if it wasn’t my own expectation. I did get a great education and always get a kick when someone looks at me wide-eyed with genuine surprise to think that I went to an Ivy League school.
I guess I am supposed to be arrogant or grand or some other something that I am clearly not. More often, I am described as down-to-earth and accessible, and willing to tell all.
The Lesson: Where we are from does not determine who we are, or where we are going. That is up to us.
As Expected
Having made it through the four years, I embarked, predictably, into a career in hospitality purchasing. Essentially, if you ate it, drank it, wrote with it, or slept on it, I bought it. For six years, I moved every eight months to a new company, a new property, a new city, and a new state. With little time for socializing, I made few friends, and fewer connections. But in each place I designed my home as if I’d be there forever.
It was my roots and my foundation. It ensured that I had a haven at the end of the day and a place to escape the daily grind. The most creative I was able to get at work was designing the storerooms and freezers. My staff would all groan when I would don a puffy thermal freezer suit and announce it was time to organize! I loved the first three months of every position, cleaning up the place, establishing systems and controls, and then I got bored. Yeah, probably attention deficit disorder. I was a big-picture thinker and found the day-to-day details tedious and boring.
The Lesson: Pay attention to the parts you enjoy and those you don’t. Consider how you can make the parts you enjoy the greater share of what you do. Reinvent yourself as needed.
Finding the Passion
I finally hit a wall, about five years after my mother passed away. She had left a huge hole in my life, dying suddenly when I was 24. I realized at age 30 that while I was making good money and one of the few women in my career path, I was miserable every day. I dreaded going in to work and couldn’t leave fast enough.
It was time for a change. I knew that my mother and great-grandfather and even my godmother had all lived their passions, and that life was too short not to go in the direction of my dreams. So I quit. I’d never quit a job before, and it was an amazing relief. I took three months off to think about my next step, and I decided to return to school for interior design in Birmingham, Alabama where I had worked previously. I already had a four-year degree and wanted the shortest, most direct route to my new career. I knew Birmingham had a low cost of living that would enable me to focus on school for six months before needing to combine that with a full-time job. I did it, and it worked!
The Lesson: Life is about risk, both known (calculated) and unknown. If we knew it all, we would have no opportunities for growth and surprise. Change your definition of risk to opportunity.
Finding the Place
So after cramming a three-year program into two years, I discovered that with all the travel Mother had shared with us and the museums we had been dragged to (kicking and screaming), I was light-years ahead of most of my peers and even a few instructors.
Being different was finally paying off. And I was ahead in that I had managed to secure a plum position with a local architecture and design firm that launched me in design. I followed that with a stint managing a local textile warehouse and then was ready for a change in scenery. I wanted to pursue life in the Windy City; I wanted to get out of the South and experience architectural history and mastery, the Art Institute, and much more.
While I landed two opportunities on a commission basis, I lacked the essential confidence to take either, and the position I most desired never materialized. So I reset my sights closer to home and explored Atlanta.
The Lesson: Be flexible in the details; the big picture is never set in stone.
The Wild Blue Yonder, Without a Net
Atlanta proved to be a fortuitous decision in 1992. I started off working with a major furniture retailer in its design department. Eighteen months later I found myself going head-to-head with my manager over vacation pay. She said I didn’t have it coming, and I claimed I did. I walked. The check showed up two weeks later. I was right, but I was also unemployed without a client in the world. I had managed to rack up some $70K in credit card debt since my mother had passed, foolishly trying to fill the gaping hole I felt with her absence. I had rent and a car payment to boot.
Panic seemed a good option, but there was just no time. I immediately started work with a catering company, supervising their kitchen event operations on weekends. Often it meant running the hot and steamy dish machine, but it was money. I also pitched Evening at Emory and Oglethorpe University about creating and teaching classes on interior decorating for their adult education program. They both picked me up and I taught as many as five different classes during a decade. Easy it wasn’t, but it was worth it.
The Lesson: Do what you have to do, to get to doing what you want to do.
Rabu, 28 Juli 2010
Creating a Life Worth Living, Part 1
Copyright 2006 Melissa Galt
It should have been easy. Shoulda, woulda, coulda -- those words had been the essence of my life and so many other people’s lives, too. Now I’ve learned that life really isn’t about those words at all, and it isn’t about easy. Instead, each of our lives is about will and won’t and do and don’t, and the rewards that come from taking charge of our lives.
Our lives are up to us, as individuals. We are the ones in charge, whether we take that responsibility or not. So the question is, are we going to live a life by accident, a life by default, or will we have a plan, a path, a purpose? Will we end up where we want to be by intent or nowhere by accident? Will we blame others and external forces for the place we are in, or will we take charge and define by choice who we are, where we are going, and what we are doing? The choice belongs to each of us.
While my life interiors have often been a mishmash of uncoordinated elements, I have finally found my style and created a life of comfort and achievement. So let me tell you how it all began and how you can find your own passion and purpose.
The Lesson: If you aren’t living your dreams, then you are impersonating someone else’s!
Getting There
Overall, it wasn’t a bad upbringing. I’m not complaining. It had tough moments, Mom was gone a lot, and Dad wasn’t around much at all. They divorced when I was about six years old. But we didn’t lack for caregivers. I acquired an early sense of independence and eagerly took on responsibility.
My sister and I, as is typical of many close siblings, fought often. In fact, Mother nicknamed us Poke and Pinch, particularly for those long car rides when she was up front and we were in back acting up. But what I didn’t know and what I didn’t understand was that most of what I was becoming was up to me. I assumed, as so many of us do, that it was up to my parents, or up to my teachers, or up to someone, anyone else. I didn’t realize how much of it was actually in my control.
Therefore, for a long time I thought my life was about external forces and didn’t realize it was instead about my internal dynamics. I was at the “life’s not fair” stage and so nothing was my fault, I wasn’t in charge. What a bunch of baloney!
The Lesson: Life is about going confidently in the direction of your dreams, not anyone else’s. This is not a vicarious experience, but a visceral one.
The Legacy
What is funny about that belief is that all the while I knew that my mother had made her career decision early on. At age seven, if you believe her telling of the story, she had already made up her mind on a career, and then at age eleven she asked her parents to allow her to go to acting school. They agreed as long as she kept her grades up. Her grades soared because she was suddenly on purpose, on fire, and following her passion. Few of us know that early what we want or what will set us on fire.
She was a terrific actress, no less an achiever than my great-grandfather on the same side of the family who was a world-renowned architect. He also knew at a very early age that he would pursue architecture. It was about following their dream, their vision, their talents and their creativity.
The Lesson: It was about giving of themselves to the world and sharing their unique vision.
Temporary Detours
They both endured many obstacles, challenges, and crises but persevered and few knew of those setbacks. They quietly took them in stride. They didn’t complain or moan or lose sight of their goals; they just considered the setbacks temporary detours, another chance for a new experience, as it were. How many of us would weather the storms of life and career crisis better if we reframed them as temporary detours? I remember after I got into college, my mother sharing with me that she had been on welfare at one point and we never knew it. She had been without work for over a year and unemployment had run out, and welfare was next. We never knew it. She was doing everything in her power to find work; she was busy. She never let on, and we were in public school at the time and walked to school, so beyond belt-tightening on meals and no summer camp our lives were protected.
The Lesson: It is in our perception and our processing what our reality is. When we change these, we change our world.
Culture Shock Without Leaving the Country
Being a very academic adolescent, bent on making straight A’s and not in the “in” crowd, college seemed a time-wasting choice to me. I looked at it as four years of partying, and I wasn’t a partier. I was a super square. So it made sense to me to pursue the best high school education I could get, and that choice meant boarding school. Being away from home didn’t concern me at all; I was largely independent anyway. What I didn’t bank on was the cultural shock of going from the West Coast to the East Coast. You would have thought I was in a foreign country. I didn’t wear the same clothes, speak the same language, or even understand the teen lifestyle West to East. I didn’t fit in; I didn’t come close.
Needless to say, it was a very painful experience, made more so by being labeled “someone’s daughter” instead of being allowed to be myself. I got through it, even made it with honors, and, ironically, was the only one in the class not interested in college (this was a college prep school). I had my sites set on working immediately and getting my life off the ground.
The Lesson: Timing is everything, and when we are ready opportunities will appear, sometimes we have to allow the time to be ready.
It should have been easy. Shoulda, woulda, coulda -- those words had been the essence of my life and so many other people’s lives, too. Now I’ve learned that life really isn’t about those words at all, and it isn’t about easy. Instead, each of our lives is about will and won’t and do and don’t, and the rewards that come from taking charge of our lives.
Our lives are up to us, as individuals. We are the ones in charge, whether we take that responsibility or not. So the question is, are we going to live a life by accident, a life by default, or will we have a plan, a path, a purpose? Will we end up where we want to be by intent or nowhere by accident? Will we blame others and external forces for the place we are in, or will we take charge and define by choice who we are, where we are going, and what we are doing? The choice belongs to each of us.
While my life interiors have often been a mishmash of uncoordinated elements, I have finally found my style and created a life of comfort and achievement. So let me tell you how it all began and how you can find your own passion and purpose.
The Lesson: If you aren’t living your dreams, then you are impersonating someone else’s!
Getting There
Overall, it wasn’t a bad upbringing. I’m not complaining. It had tough moments, Mom was gone a lot, and Dad wasn’t around much at all. They divorced when I was about six years old. But we didn’t lack for caregivers. I acquired an early sense of independence and eagerly took on responsibility.
My sister and I, as is typical of many close siblings, fought often. In fact, Mother nicknamed us Poke and Pinch, particularly for those long car rides when she was up front and we were in back acting up. But what I didn’t know and what I didn’t understand was that most of what I was becoming was up to me. I assumed, as so many of us do, that it was up to my parents, or up to my teachers, or up to someone, anyone else. I didn’t realize how much of it was actually in my control.
Therefore, for a long time I thought my life was about external forces and didn’t realize it was instead about my internal dynamics. I was at the “life’s not fair” stage and so nothing was my fault, I wasn’t in charge. What a bunch of baloney!
The Lesson: Life is about going confidently in the direction of your dreams, not anyone else’s. This is not a vicarious experience, but a visceral one.
The Legacy
What is funny about that belief is that all the while I knew that my mother had made her career decision early on. At age seven, if you believe her telling of the story, she had already made up her mind on a career, and then at age eleven she asked her parents to allow her to go to acting school. They agreed as long as she kept her grades up. Her grades soared because she was suddenly on purpose, on fire, and following her passion. Few of us know that early what we want or what will set us on fire.
She was a terrific actress, no less an achiever than my great-grandfather on the same side of the family who was a world-renowned architect. He also knew at a very early age that he would pursue architecture. It was about following their dream, their vision, their talents and their creativity.
The Lesson: It was about giving of themselves to the world and sharing their unique vision.
Temporary Detours
They both endured many obstacles, challenges, and crises but persevered and few knew of those setbacks. They quietly took them in stride. They didn’t complain or moan or lose sight of their goals; they just considered the setbacks temporary detours, another chance for a new experience, as it were. How many of us would weather the storms of life and career crisis better if we reframed them as temporary detours? I remember after I got into college, my mother sharing with me that she had been on welfare at one point and we never knew it. She had been without work for over a year and unemployment had run out, and welfare was next. We never knew it. She was doing everything in her power to find work; she was busy. She never let on, and we were in public school at the time and walked to school, so beyond belt-tightening on meals and no summer camp our lives were protected.
The Lesson: It is in our perception and our processing what our reality is. When we change these, we change our world.
Culture Shock Without Leaving the Country
Being a very academic adolescent, bent on making straight A’s and not in the “in” crowd, college seemed a time-wasting choice to me. I looked at it as four years of partying, and I wasn’t a partier. I was a super square. So it made sense to me to pursue the best high school education I could get, and that choice meant boarding school. Being away from home didn’t concern me at all; I was largely independent anyway. What I didn’t bank on was the cultural shock of going from the West Coast to the East Coast. You would have thought I was in a foreign country. I didn’t wear the same clothes, speak the same language, or even understand the teen lifestyle West to East. I didn’t fit in; I didn’t come close.
Needless to say, it was a very painful experience, made more so by being labeled “someone’s daughter” instead of being allowed to be myself. I got through it, even made it with honors, and, ironically, was the only one in the class not interested in college (this was a college prep school). I had my sites set on working immediately and getting my life off the ground.
The Lesson: Timing is everything, and when we are ready opportunities will appear, sometimes we have to allow the time to be ready.
Selasa, 27 Juli 2010
Create Powerful Decisions From Your Vague Intentions
Copyright 2006 Andy Warren
What’s had the biggest impact on your life? Your parents, partner, career or education? Your health, social status or background? And what’s it been for the people around you? The people you work with, your friends, those you see in the media? What’s had the biggest influence in all their lives?
It all comes down to one thing. Powerful Decisions.
All great achievements can be traced back to a single Powerful Decision. When you make a decision it gives you power and control. It puts you in charge. It makes you responsible. And that’s why many people don’t like to make decisions. They want the control and power but they’re scared of the responsibility. They’re scared they may not make the right decisions and scared they might get blamed if things go wrong.
In reality, those who do make Powerful Decisions, and they are the true leaders in life, tend to get the greatest rewards. Rewards such as money, promotion, respect, admiration, personal satisfaction or some other compensation.
And those that don’t make decisions? Well they tend to get stuck in the middle management trap, where people simply stop making real decisions and their career, and their life, just grinds to a halt.
Which group feels better for you?
You’re where you are today because of the Powerful Decisions you’ve made. Each major milestone in your life has been accompanied by a Powerful Decision. As you look back, you’ll see how your Powerful Decisions stand out as markers in your life. They’re the points of change. The forks in the road that took you along the path to where you are today.
As we grow in our lives, relationships and careers, the decisions we have to make can get harder. They can have more impact and greater consequences. And some people find that hard to handle. So they stop making decisions. Can you see where that might have happened in your life? Think back to a time when you last made a really Powerful Decision. Remember how it felt. And consider how long it’s been since that last one.
Unfortunately, the more you delay a Powerful Decision the more chance it will get made for you. And it’s often not in your favour. That’s why you want to put yourself back in control and start making your own Powerful Decisions again.
Once you make a Powerful Decision you’ll find your awareness begins to open up and you start to see things that you’ve never noticed before. Opportunities and people that may have been there all along, now become apparent to you. That’s the strength of Powerful Decisions.
So is your life filled with Vague Intentions or are you making Powerful Decisions? What one Powerful Decision do you need to make today? It may be in your career, your relationship or somewhere else in your life? What Powerful Decision have you been putting off?
Make your own Powerful Decision today, and watch how your life immediately begins to change. And of course, once you’ve made your decision there’s just one more thing to do. Take Action.
What’s had the biggest impact on your life? Your parents, partner, career or education? Your health, social status or background? And what’s it been for the people around you? The people you work with, your friends, those you see in the media? What’s had the biggest influence in all their lives?
It all comes down to one thing. Powerful Decisions.
All great achievements can be traced back to a single Powerful Decision. When you make a decision it gives you power and control. It puts you in charge. It makes you responsible. And that’s why many people don’t like to make decisions. They want the control and power but they’re scared of the responsibility. They’re scared they may not make the right decisions and scared they might get blamed if things go wrong.
In reality, those who do make Powerful Decisions, and they are the true leaders in life, tend to get the greatest rewards. Rewards such as money, promotion, respect, admiration, personal satisfaction or some other compensation.
And those that don’t make decisions? Well they tend to get stuck in the middle management trap, where people simply stop making real decisions and their career, and their life, just grinds to a halt.
Which group feels better for you?
You’re where you are today because of the Powerful Decisions you’ve made. Each major milestone in your life has been accompanied by a Powerful Decision. As you look back, you’ll see how your Powerful Decisions stand out as markers in your life. They’re the points of change. The forks in the road that took you along the path to where you are today.
As we grow in our lives, relationships and careers, the decisions we have to make can get harder. They can have more impact and greater consequences. And some people find that hard to handle. So they stop making decisions. Can you see where that might have happened in your life? Think back to a time when you last made a really Powerful Decision. Remember how it felt. And consider how long it’s been since that last one.
Unfortunately, the more you delay a Powerful Decision the more chance it will get made for you. And it’s often not in your favour. That’s why you want to put yourself back in control and start making your own Powerful Decisions again.
Once you make a Powerful Decision you’ll find your awareness begins to open up and you start to see things that you’ve never noticed before. Opportunities and people that may have been there all along, now become apparent to you. That’s the strength of Powerful Decisions.
So is your life filled with Vague Intentions or are you making Powerful Decisions? What one Powerful Decision do you need to make today? It may be in your career, your relationship or somewhere else in your life? What Powerful Decision have you been putting off?
Make your own Powerful Decision today, and watch how your life immediately begins to change. And of course, once you’ve made your decision there’s just one more thing to do. Take Action.
Senin, 26 Juli 2010
Create MONEY Magic –Easily Attract More Money to YOU!
What is your relationship to money? Are you creating resistance to your own wealth and abundance? Do you continue to overdraw your bank account? You attract what you give your attention to.
Money is a force; a concentrated symbol of energy and power. Like all forces in the universe, money obeys certain universal laws or principles. You gain a great power over money when you understand the universal laws and act accordingly.
Defy Normal Notions
Most people are programmed to believe that hard work, determination, and drive attract money. However, there are more hidden and subtle ways to attract money, wealth, and prosperity. As you apply the Universal Law of Attraction, money will appear seemingly out of nowhere.
Your Finances Express Your Deep Feelings About Money
What are your money feelings? They are usually similar to your other relationship feelings. How do you deal with your relationships? How do you feel about yourself?
Your inner most feelings about yourself is expressed in your relationship with money. Your financial situation is a means for you to express those deep feelings. If you are closed down and guarded, you block the inflow of money.
Begin to understand those feelings to create and change your financial situation. Be open and receptive to receive more money in your life.
Respect Money
Are you haphazard with the money in your wallet? Are your records disorganized? Respecting your money is a powerful mechanism to suddenly attract more of it. Keep precise, up-to-date accounts of it. Account for it in a timely, accurate manner. Give your money greater attention and it will respond in kind.
Your Thoughts Create
Are you holding back on paying or hoarding money? This prevents the free flow of money. Money needs to move freely in order to sustain itself. Do you have hidden fears that may be blocking money from circulating in your life? Reverse such out-moded attitudes and release old programming to bring a sudden abundant positive response and monetarial inflow to you.
Be Generous!
Are you stingy? Do you hold on tight to what money you have? When you shift your perspective from you to others, you increase the energy of attraction. Feeling generous with feelings of goodwill and gratitude attract good fortune. You automatically begin to attract more money towards you.
What Do You Really Want to Achieve?
Is your vision for the future fuzzy? Are you always thinking about your failures? A great way to attract more money is by developing a plan for improvement in your life. Decide what it is that you really want to achieve, organize the details of your vision, and carry it out with a positive attitude. Adopt an attitude of determination, commitment, and effort.
Get Clear About Your Goals and You Manifest Them
What are you visualizing? What self-talk tapes are you playing? When you get clear about your goals, you manifest them. You will attract success, wealth, and prosperity. The mere decision to act can attract results without effort.
There are NO LIMITS to How Much Prosperity YOU Can Attain
The single most powerful way to attract more money in your life is with your connection to the Divine Source of All. We live in an abundant universe. Connect with it and it will respond in kind. Open yourself to the Supreme Source and receive substantial results. Are you willing to have more abundance in your life?
Transform Your Energy to Attract Abundance
Do you squander money? Do you feel blocked? The energy that keeps you stuck in old unconscious patterns of disharmony and lack can be altered. Open yourself to manifest a life of success and abundance with joy. Re-direct unconscious energy that is preventing your abundance, well-being, harmony and love from manifesting. Let go of limiting thoughts. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Be open to receiving.
Amirah © 2006 All Rights Reserved.
You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
Money is a force; a concentrated symbol of energy and power. Like all forces in the universe, money obeys certain universal laws or principles. You gain a great power over money when you understand the universal laws and act accordingly.
Defy Normal Notions
Most people are programmed to believe that hard work, determination, and drive attract money. However, there are more hidden and subtle ways to attract money, wealth, and prosperity. As you apply the Universal Law of Attraction, money will appear seemingly out of nowhere.
Your Finances Express Your Deep Feelings About Money
What are your money feelings? They are usually similar to your other relationship feelings. How do you deal with your relationships? How do you feel about yourself?
Your inner most feelings about yourself is expressed in your relationship with money. Your financial situation is a means for you to express those deep feelings. If you are closed down and guarded, you block the inflow of money.
Begin to understand those feelings to create and change your financial situation. Be open and receptive to receive more money in your life.
Respect Money
Are you haphazard with the money in your wallet? Are your records disorganized? Respecting your money is a powerful mechanism to suddenly attract more of it. Keep precise, up-to-date accounts of it. Account for it in a timely, accurate manner. Give your money greater attention and it will respond in kind.
Your Thoughts Create
Are you holding back on paying or hoarding money? This prevents the free flow of money. Money needs to move freely in order to sustain itself. Do you have hidden fears that may be blocking money from circulating in your life? Reverse such out-moded attitudes and release old programming to bring a sudden abundant positive response and monetarial inflow to you.
Be Generous!
Are you stingy? Do you hold on tight to what money you have? When you shift your perspective from you to others, you increase the energy of attraction. Feeling generous with feelings of goodwill and gratitude attract good fortune. You automatically begin to attract more money towards you.
What Do You Really Want to Achieve?
Is your vision for the future fuzzy? Are you always thinking about your failures? A great way to attract more money is by developing a plan for improvement in your life. Decide what it is that you really want to achieve, organize the details of your vision, and carry it out with a positive attitude. Adopt an attitude of determination, commitment, and effort.
Get Clear About Your Goals and You Manifest Them
What are you visualizing? What self-talk tapes are you playing? When you get clear about your goals, you manifest them. You will attract success, wealth, and prosperity. The mere decision to act can attract results without effort.
There are NO LIMITS to How Much Prosperity YOU Can Attain
The single most powerful way to attract more money in your life is with your connection to the Divine Source of All. We live in an abundant universe. Connect with it and it will respond in kind. Open yourself to the Supreme Source and receive substantial results. Are you willing to have more abundance in your life?
Transform Your Energy to Attract Abundance
Do you squander money? Do you feel blocked? The energy that keeps you stuck in old unconscious patterns of disharmony and lack can be altered. Open yourself to manifest a life of success and abundance with joy. Re-direct unconscious energy that is preventing your abundance, well-being, harmony and love from manifesting. Let go of limiting thoughts. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Be open to receiving.
Amirah © 2006 All Rights Reserved.
You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.
Minggu, 25 Juli 2010
Craps Tournaments: Winning Tips and Guidance
Craps tournaments popularity is increasing lately. If you are a novice craps player who is still intimidated by the great selection of bets or you find the fuss around the craps tables too loud, you might not be able to enjoy playing craps tournaments. If you are an enthusiastic craps shooter, taking part in a craps tournament is a great way to enjoy a more intensive craps playing experience, meet other craps fans and, of course, a chance to win bigger cash prizes as well as the desired title.
Many casinos hold different types of craps tournaments to suit the different levels of skills and budgets of the players. Here you can find tips on the different types of casino craps tournaments including tips on how to choose the most suitable and enjoyable craps tournament as possible. In addition, you can find here tips on how to win in craps tournament.
Choosing a Craps Tournament
Cost: The cost of playing in a craps tournament can range from a free entry and a low buy in to an expensive entry fee with a high buy in. The prizes, needless to say, are corresponding; the higher the entry fee the larger the grand prize. The free tournaments are usually held on a weekly basis for promotional purposes while the high stack tourneys are pre scheduled, last for more than one day and their expensive entry fees include a cocktail party, free accommodation and other freebies.
Competition: Evaluating the level of the competition you are going to face in advance can be tough. However, the number of entrants allowed to take part in the tournament can give you a basic indication on the level of the competition.
Rules: Casinos often set different rules in craps tournaments. For example, some casinos require players to place a pass or dont pass bet each play on top of any other bets or limit the proposition bet to 25 dollars.
Winning a Craps Tournament
The main difference between playing a traditional craps game and a craps tournament is that with the latter you suddenly find yourself surrounded by competitors. While in a regular craps game you are used to compete against the house, in a craps tournament you are playing against the other entrants and especially against those who have managed to accumulate the biggest amount of chips. Therefore, playing craps tournaments requires amending of you strategy. Primarily, you can no longer ignore your opponents; you must keep an eye on their moves!
Tips
Always pay attention to your opponent’s chips; bear in mind that they might have been hiding chips to confuse the other players.
Pay attention especially to your closest opponents; watch their moves and conclude your future bets so you will stay far behind.
Start by playing conservatively; place small bets on pass and come bets.
When an opportunity comes up, for example after making two consecutive points change your pattern and make dont pass bet.
If during the final rolls you are still not leading, it is time to play aggressively; place large even bet your entire bankroll on one number and then hope for the best.
Have fun.
Many casinos hold different types of craps tournaments to suit the different levels of skills and budgets of the players. Here you can find tips on the different types of casino craps tournaments including tips on how to choose the most suitable and enjoyable craps tournament as possible. In addition, you can find here tips on how to win in craps tournament.
Choosing a Craps Tournament
Cost: The cost of playing in a craps tournament can range from a free entry and a low buy in to an expensive entry fee with a high buy in. The prizes, needless to say, are corresponding; the higher the entry fee the larger the grand prize. The free tournaments are usually held on a weekly basis for promotional purposes while the high stack tourneys are pre scheduled, last for more than one day and their expensive entry fees include a cocktail party, free accommodation and other freebies.
Competition: Evaluating the level of the competition you are going to face in advance can be tough. However, the number of entrants allowed to take part in the tournament can give you a basic indication on the level of the competition.
Rules: Casinos often set different rules in craps tournaments. For example, some casinos require players to place a pass or dont pass bet each play on top of any other bets or limit the proposition bet to 25 dollars.
Winning a Craps Tournament
The main difference between playing a traditional craps game and a craps tournament is that with the latter you suddenly find yourself surrounded by competitors. While in a regular craps game you are used to compete against the house, in a craps tournament you are playing against the other entrants and especially against those who have managed to accumulate the biggest amount of chips. Therefore, playing craps tournaments requires amending of you strategy. Primarily, you can no longer ignore your opponents; you must keep an eye on their moves!
Tips
Always pay attention to your opponent’s chips; bear in mind that they might have been hiding chips to confuse the other players.
Pay attention especially to your closest opponents; watch their moves and conclude your future bets so you will stay far behind.
Start by playing conservatively; place small bets on pass and come bets.
When an opportunity comes up, for example after making two consecutive points change your pattern and make dont pass bet.
If during the final rolls you are still not leading, it is time to play aggressively; place large even bet your entire bankroll on one number and then hope for the best.
Have fun.
Sabtu, 24 Juli 2010
Craps: Books for Beginners and Advanced Players
Although craps is not a very complicated game, many people find themselves confused by its strange terminology and large numbers of betting options. This article focuses on the most recommended craps books available in the market including beginners books, strategy books for the advanced player and books that introduce the concept of dice control.
1) Craps for the Clueless: A Beginners Guide to Playing and Winning by John Patrick
As its name indicates, it provides basic information on playing craps. The book is written in simple language that makes the terminology easy to understand even if you have never seen a craps table before. In addition to the object of the game, Craps for the Clueless, reveals the winning secrets of professional gamblers.
John Patrick is a professional gambler, an author of many gaming guidebooks and the former host of the TV show "So You Wanna be a Gambler", which was aired on national cable network for over a decade. According to Patrick, a successful gambling is a result of four essentials, he calls "The Big Four", which are a proper use of the bankroll, knowledge of the game, money management and discipline.
2) Beat the Craps Out of the Casinos: How to Play Craps and Win by Frank Scoblete
This book supplies useful information for the newbie as well as for the experienced player. The book explains how the game can be beaten including explanations on which bets can lower the house edge and which bets should by avoided by the smart player.
Frank Scoblete is one of the top selling gambling authors in the US and the director of Golden Touch, which offers seminars on craps and blackjack. Other recommended books by Scoblete are "The Captains Craps Revolution", "Forever Craps" and "Get the Edge at Craps".
3) Craps: Take the Money and Run by Henry J. Tamburin
Take the Money and Run focuses on how to make fast profits from playing at casinos. In addition to introduction on the mechanics of the game and recommendations on best bets, the book offers the Increased Odds craps betting system and the Take the Money and Run discipline, which both promise to maximize the profits. The book also provides a special chapter on using the pass line bet for maximizing your profits. Take the Money and Run has special chapters on tournaments and new variations.
Dr. Henry J. Tamburin has been playing for over 25 years, and his betting system and discipline are based on his winning experiences.
4) Dice Control for Casino Craps by Yuri Kononenko.
This guide book offers an easy to understand introduction to the concept of dice control from the mathematical and mechanical points of view.
Other recommended books that teach how to gain advantage over the house by using dice control are Frank Scoblete's "Golden Touch Dice Control Revolution" and "Craps Underground: The Inside Story of How Dice Controllers are Winning Millions from the Casinos", which offers a fascinating inside look on the game system.
Conclusion:
Unlike poker or blackjack, this game is not very popular, but in that lies the biggest opportunity. The casinos focus on getting a profit from the popular games. Take advantage of this, and make your profit at this game instead.
1) Craps for the Clueless: A Beginners Guide to Playing and Winning by John Patrick
As its name indicates, it provides basic information on playing craps. The book is written in simple language that makes the terminology easy to understand even if you have never seen a craps table before. In addition to the object of the game, Craps for the Clueless, reveals the winning secrets of professional gamblers.
John Patrick is a professional gambler, an author of many gaming guidebooks and the former host of the TV show "So You Wanna be a Gambler", which was aired on national cable network for over a decade. According to Patrick, a successful gambling is a result of four essentials, he calls "The Big Four", which are a proper use of the bankroll, knowledge of the game, money management and discipline.
2) Beat the Craps Out of the Casinos: How to Play Craps and Win by Frank Scoblete
This book supplies useful information for the newbie as well as for the experienced player. The book explains how the game can be beaten including explanations on which bets can lower the house edge and which bets should by avoided by the smart player.
Frank Scoblete is one of the top selling gambling authors in the US and the director of Golden Touch, which offers seminars on craps and blackjack. Other recommended books by Scoblete are "The Captains Craps Revolution", "Forever Craps" and "Get the Edge at Craps".
3) Craps: Take the Money and Run by Henry J. Tamburin
Take the Money and Run focuses on how to make fast profits from playing at casinos. In addition to introduction on the mechanics of the game and recommendations on best bets, the book offers the Increased Odds craps betting system and the Take the Money and Run discipline, which both promise to maximize the profits. The book also provides a special chapter on using the pass line bet for maximizing your profits. Take the Money and Run has special chapters on tournaments and new variations.
Dr. Henry J. Tamburin has been playing for over 25 years, and his betting system and discipline are based on his winning experiences.
4) Dice Control for Casino Craps by Yuri Kononenko.
This guide book offers an easy to understand introduction to the concept of dice control from the mathematical and mechanical points of view.
Other recommended books that teach how to gain advantage over the house by using dice control are Frank Scoblete's "Golden Touch Dice Control Revolution" and "Craps Underground: The Inside Story of How Dice Controllers are Winning Millions from the Casinos", which offers a fascinating inside look on the game system.
Conclusion:
Unlike poker or blackjack, this game is not very popular, but in that lies the biggest opportunity. The casinos focus on getting a profit from the popular games. Take advantage of this, and make your profit at this game instead.
Jumat, 23 Juli 2010
Courage on United Flight 93
Copyright 2006 Annette Bridges
I’ve read various theories about the final minutes of United Flight 93. But for me there is only one certain truth. The courageous actions of its passengers.
Whether or not we think a movie should have been made about this flight doesn’t change the fact that it’s part of our American history. Our national narrative. The unfolding saga in the war against terrorism. A war that often seems without obvious rules and clearly against an enemy without country or ethical boundaries.
It’s certainly not the first time that Hollywood made a movie depicting a national tragedy. The same could be said for numerous books and songs. We seem to be a people who like to record our events and feelings about those events.
Without question the actual details of those final minutes can only be guessed. Phone conversations between passengers and relatives tell us passengers became aware their hijacked plane was likely to be used as a terrorist’s weapon. And . . . that they must do something.
So, the courage of everyday people is told in a movie some refuse to see, some feel they must see, some criticize, some praise.
And what of courage?
While there are numerous stories of courage described in the Bible, the one which comes to my thought first is David battling and conquering Goliath. David was a shepherd-boy who volunteered to do what trained soldiers feared they couldn’t.
I’ve always loved this story. The setting was army against army. An enormous and frightful soldier from the enemy’s camp, Goliath, made a challenge for one man to fight him. David wasn’t in the army. But his brothers were. Their father had sent David to his brothers’ army camp to bring food.
He was obedient. He wasn’t looking for fame and glory. David’s noble desire was to help and he believed with all his heart he could.
At first the army leader questioned David’s ability to face such an experienced soldier since David was a mere boy. He said, “You can’t go and fight this Philistine. You’re too young and inexperienced – and he’s been at this fighting business since before you were born.” Yet leading spirituality author, Mary Baker Eddy wrote, individuals’ “strength is in proportion to their courage.”
What kind of courage did this young boy have, which I believe was also the kind of courage Eddy was speaking of? Not animal courage often flaunted by impetuosity, brashness or daring. But moral courage, exhibited by David’s fortitude, determination, and undaunted spirit.
And it’s these qualities of moral courage that I have no doubt strengthened the hearts and emboldened the actions of passengers on United Flight 93. Qualities that must surely be part of the foundation of all right thinking and acting.
What greater actions are there than to do what is right? Actions impelled by pure and selfless motives. Not prompted by ego or inspired by grandeur of self.
Do you think such qualities are reserved for the few?
With God the Father-Mother of all, my hope and expectation is that surely all of His children have all they need at every moment. Would not this include moral courage as an ability that is instilled in each of us by God? Completely independent of and unlimited by physical prowess.
Moral courage guiding our thoughts, decisions, and actions shows us how to be better men and women. Gives us the strength to overcome seemingly overwhelming human odds. Enables us to “fight the good fight.”
I have no doubt the passengers on Flight 93 fought the good fight. There’s no question their actions were compelled by moral courage. I deeply wish the outcome of their success could have resulted in their lives continuing with their loved ones. But their example of courage lives on.
Their example assures you and me that we are also armored in the strength of moral courage. That we can go forward through our lives prepared to battle and disarm any “Goliath.”
Whether or not everyone goes to see the movie of “United 93” doesn’t stop us all from honoring and remembering its passengers. Everyday people with moral courage. Courage we can discover within ourselves. Courage of better men and women who people a better world.
I’ve read various theories about the final minutes of United Flight 93. But for me there is only one certain truth. The courageous actions of its passengers.
Whether or not we think a movie should have been made about this flight doesn’t change the fact that it’s part of our American history. Our national narrative. The unfolding saga in the war against terrorism. A war that often seems without obvious rules and clearly against an enemy without country or ethical boundaries.
It’s certainly not the first time that Hollywood made a movie depicting a national tragedy. The same could be said for numerous books and songs. We seem to be a people who like to record our events and feelings about those events.
Without question the actual details of those final minutes can only be guessed. Phone conversations between passengers and relatives tell us passengers became aware their hijacked plane was likely to be used as a terrorist’s weapon. And . . . that they must do something.
So, the courage of everyday people is told in a movie some refuse to see, some feel they must see, some criticize, some praise.
And what of courage?
While there are numerous stories of courage described in the Bible, the one which comes to my thought first is David battling and conquering Goliath. David was a shepherd-boy who volunteered to do what trained soldiers feared they couldn’t.
I’ve always loved this story. The setting was army against army. An enormous and frightful soldier from the enemy’s camp, Goliath, made a challenge for one man to fight him. David wasn’t in the army. But his brothers were. Their father had sent David to his brothers’ army camp to bring food.
He was obedient. He wasn’t looking for fame and glory. David’s noble desire was to help and he believed with all his heart he could.
At first the army leader questioned David’s ability to face such an experienced soldier since David was a mere boy. He said, “You can’t go and fight this Philistine. You’re too young and inexperienced – and he’s been at this fighting business since before you were born.” Yet leading spirituality author, Mary Baker Eddy wrote, individuals’ “strength is in proportion to their courage.”
What kind of courage did this young boy have, which I believe was also the kind of courage Eddy was speaking of? Not animal courage often flaunted by impetuosity, brashness or daring. But moral courage, exhibited by David’s fortitude, determination, and undaunted spirit.
And it’s these qualities of moral courage that I have no doubt strengthened the hearts and emboldened the actions of passengers on United Flight 93. Qualities that must surely be part of the foundation of all right thinking and acting.
What greater actions are there than to do what is right? Actions impelled by pure and selfless motives. Not prompted by ego or inspired by grandeur of self.
Do you think such qualities are reserved for the few?
With God the Father-Mother of all, my hope and expectation is that surely all of His children have all they need at every moment. Would not this include moral courage as an ability that is instilled in each of us by God? Completely independent of and unlimited by physical prowess.
Moral courage guiding our thoughts, decisions, and actions shows us how to be better men and women. Gives us the strength to overcome seemingly overwhelming human odds. Enables us to “fight the good fight.”
I have no doubt the passengers on Flight 93 fought the good fight. There’s no question their actions were compelled by moral courage. I deeply wish the outcome of their success could have resulted in their lives continuing with their loved ones. But their example of courage lives on.
Their example assures you and me that we are also armored in the strength of moral courage. That we can go forward through our lives prepared to battle and disarm any “Goliath.”
Whether or not everyone goes to see the movie of “United 93” doesn’t stop us all from honoring and remembering its passengers. Everyday people with moral courage. Courage we can discover within ourselves. Courage of better men and women who people a better world.
Kamis, 22 Juli 2010
Counting Cards: How to Escape Detection
It is not a secret for anyone that casinos do not like blackjack counters and frequently ask them to leave or to play another game. Here, we will describe how casino management detects counters and how to act when caught. We also describe the countermeasures that casinos use against skilled players but most of all we show you how to count cards while not getting caught.
Do Casinos Object?
Most casinos have strict policies that ban any player from counting cards when playing blackjack, but some like those in New Jersey do not pay any attention to such players.
How Do You Know Whether A Casino Minds?
You do not. But you had better act as if they all do and thus save yourself the embarressment of being shoved out if they do mind and if they catch you red-handed.
How to Count Without Getting Detected?
Always keep in mind that since card counting is something that one does silently, the only method to detect it is through observing you and the manner you play. Thus, look out for the following:
1) Do not stare at the cards of other players. Glance once, count, and then move on.
2) Do not stare at the cards that have been discarded. Look quickly and then slowly move away by shifting your gaze nonchalantly from player to player.
3) Change your pattern of betting occassionaly.
4) Change the amount of betting money each round.
5) Even though you know it, loose a round or two. Do not bet big on those rounds. But likewise do not bet too small too. If the casino notices that you are always winning big and losing small, they might get suspicious.
6) Buy chips of different colours and then mix them around while playing to confuse the dealer.
7) Talk to the other players while playing, but this is especially difficult so practice this at home before trying it at a casino.
8) Pick your seat carefully: either the first chair or the third one so that you won't have to twist your head around as the cards are dealt.
9) Dress casually because smart and elegant clothes cause the dealers to think you are intelligent and they might watch you more closely.
10) Order an alcoholic drink and pretend to sip it because they are looking for those non-drinkers who are staying sober to count the cards.
The common denominator of all these is that you must never forget that the casino si watching you and how you play. Act accordingly!
Supposing that the Casino Catches On, What Should you Do?
Stay calm if the casino catches you counting cards and abide by their wishes quietely. Do not make a fuss. If they ask you to leave, do so. The faster you leave, the easier it will be for you to return later. Remember that if you make a fuss, they will all remember you, so desist from any unfriendly behaviour. Note that after shifts change, the new personnel won't know you so all you have to do is wait for that and then you can start playing again. You could also just enter the next casino and start earning money there instead of risking casino personnel from recognizing you.
Do Casinos Object?
Most casinos have strict policies that ban any player from counting cards when playing blackjack, but some like those in New Jersey do not pay any attention to such players.
How Do You Know Whether A Casino Minds?
You do not. But you had better act as if they all do and thus save yourself the embarressment of being shoved out if they do mind and if they catch you red-handed.
How to Count Without Getting Detected?
Always keep in mind that since card counting is something that one does silently, the only method to detect it is through observing you and the manner you play. Thus, look out for the following:
1) Do not stare at the cards of other players. Glance once, count, and then move on.
2) Do not stare at the cards that have been discarded. Look quickly and then slowly move away by shifting your gaze nonchalantly from player to player.
3) Change your pattern of betting occassionaly.
4) Change the amount of betting money each round.
5) Even though you know it, loose a round or two. Do not bet big on those rounds. But likewise do not bet too small too. If the casino notices that you are always winning big and losing small, they might get suspicious.
6) Buy chips of different colours and then mix them around while playing to confuse the dealer.
7) Talk to the other players while playing, but this is especially difficult so practice this at home before trying it at a casino.
8) Pick your seat carefully: either the first chair or the third one so that you won't have to twist your head around as the cards are dealt.
9) Dress casually because smart and elegant clothes cause the dealers to think you are intelligent and they might watch you more closely.
10) Order an alcoholic drink and pretend to sip it because they are looking for those non-drinkers who are staying sober to count the cards.
The common denominator of all these is that you must never forget that the casino si watching you and how you play. Act accordingly!
Supposing that the Casino Catches On, What Should you Do?
Stay calm if the casino catches you counting cards and abide by their wishes quietely. Do not make a fuss. If they ask you to leave, do so. The faster you leave, the easier it will be for you to return later. Remember that if you make a fuss, they will all remember you, so desist from any unfriendly behaviour. Note that after shifts change, the new personnel won't know you so all you have to do is wait for that and then you can start playing again. You could also just enter the next casino and start earning money there instead of risking casino personnel from recognizing you.
Rabu, 21 Juli 2010
Controlling Your Emotions Through Hypnosis
Feelings, feelings, feelings! Does your entire life seems to be run by the way you feel? Sometimes you feel great, other times terrible and for the majority of time you feel just all alright. When you feel great "on top of the world" doesn’t it feel like you can achieve anything? When you feel down, depressed or negative don’t you feel like nothing is worth the effort and even if it were you would probably fail anyway? As I’ve said most of the time you will find yourself somewhere in the middle, just muddling through life day by day. But, what do you think you could accomplish if you could control your emotional state and evoke any emotion you wanted?
In order to develop this skill you must first realize what an emotion is. Emotions are not monsters or masters of your state. They are merely feelings that you create from your own perceptions. You evoke emotions based on internal and external circumstances that themselves are usually based on your past experiences!
When you experience a feeling, it is only an emotion, that has been triggered by your thoughts and these thoughts, in turn, have been triggered by your memories. These memories can be either pleasant or painful depending on how you processed the situation when it initially occurred. When confronted with a similar situation or event in the present your brain replays these memories at a conscious, or usually, unconscious level and feeds back to you the emotion associated with it.
We give our emotions and feelings many different names like joy, pleasure, happiness, fear, pain, frustration, anger but there are really only two emotions. One feels good and the other feels bad!
I’m sure you know the effects of feeling good and bad. You know that when you undertake a task and feel good about it is much more likely to succeed than if you feel bad about it. In fact if your feelings are very bad you will probably not even attempt the undertaking at all! Fear takes over!
What if you could feel good in situations where before you felt bad? What do you think that would mean for you?
Your emotional responses reside in your subconscious mind. It controls them and it is responsible for feeding the feelings to you at a conscious level. This is why it can be so hard or almost impossible for you to create emotions consciously. You can’t just tell yourself to be happy and suddenly you are filled with joy. In fact the opposite usually occurs as your subconscious mind reinforces the initial emotion and thoughts with more of the same!
So how do YOU combat this?
Well since your emotional responses reside in your subconscious mind, it stands to reason that if you want to change them you need to gain access to your subconscious and reprogram it - just like a computer!
So how do YOU do this?
Well thankfully there is a way and its much easier than you think. It is, of course, called HYPNOSIS. Through the use of hypnosis or self hypnosis you can easily and quickly gain access to the subconscious mind.
"Ok that all sounds great" you may say, "but what do I do then Sherlock?"
Well a skilful hypnotist, whether in person or on a recording, can very quickly ‘anchor’ new feelings to old memories. He can take a memory that has some very bad emotional responses connected to it and neutralize those emotions. Then he will re-connect your old memory with new positive emotions.
This involves the use of some very advanced forms of NLP (which can also be used very effectively without hypnosis). The positive affects of these techniques leaves you free from old memories that block you from moving forward in your life and also reprogram your mind to feel optimistic and hopeful when confronted with similar situations in the present and future.
This is also how phobias are dealt with and explaining this process should give you some idea of the power and benefits of using it on other emotional issues. Let’s say you have a real fear of spiders. Now everyone knows that a fear of spiders is irrational in most cases and has no foundation in truth. A house spider can do you absolutely no harm! So you get a hypnosis recording to deal with your arachnophobia. So what happens?
First the hypnotist will relax your mind and body and then get you to think of a happy scene filled with lovely beautiful creatures that you like. Say for instance you love little fluffy kittens. He will immerse you in the image and guide you to the beauty of the animal and evoke kindly, loving emotions. Then he will ask you to think of a spider. He may get you to put roller-skates on it and watch it trying to walk or get you to imagine it has a funny face or kindly demeanour. In this way he will neutralize the negative feelings you currently hold about the arachnid. Then he will connect the previous image of the kittens, and thus the positive emotions associated with it, to the image of the funny spider. You will also be guided to see the beauty of this little creature and its usefulness in nature. Thus, sometimes in one session, you can completely reverse a phobia!
Likewise the emotional response to any situation, circumstance, person or event can be reversed to whatever positive emotional response you want. Such is the power of hypnosis and the creativity of your mind. You will merely learn to react in a different, more positive, way and through modern mental techniques you can learn to do it in any way you desire.
So, there is really no excuse to suffer at the hands of your negative emotions any more. You can reprogram your mind to feel any way you want. Check it out, you may just like it!
In order to develop this skill you must first realize what an emotion is. Emotions are not monsters or masters of your state. They are merely feelings that you create from your own perceptions. You evoke emotions based on internal and external circumstances that themselves are usually based on your past experiences!
When you experience a feeling, it is only an emotion, that has been triggered by your thoughts and these thoughts, in turn, have been triggered by your memories. These memories can be either pleasant or painful depending on how you processed the situation when it initially occurred. When confronted with a similar situation or event in the present your brain replays these memories at a conscious, or usually, unconscious level and feeds back to you the emotion associated with it.
We give our emotions and feelings many different names like joy, pleasure, happiness, fear, pain, frustration, anger but there are really only two emotions. One feels good and the other feels bad!
I’m sure you know the effects of feeling good and bad. You know that when you undertake a task and feel good about it is much more likely to succeed than if you feel bad about it. In fact if your feelings are very bad you will probably not even attempt the undertaking at all! Fear takes over!
What if you could feel good in situations where before you felt bad? What do you think that would mean for you?
Your emotional responses reside in your subconscious mind. It controls them and it is responsible for feeding the feelings to you at a conscious level. This is why it can be so hard or almost impossible for you to create emotions consciously. You can’t just tell yourself to be happy and suddenly you are filled with joy. In fact the opposite usually occurs as your subconscious mind reinforces the initial emotion and thoughts with more of the same!
So how do YOU combat this?
Well since your emotional responses reside in your subconscious mind, it stands to reason that if you want to change them you need to gain access to your subconscious and reprogram it - just like a computer!
So how do YOU do this?
Well thankfully there is a way and its much easier than you think. It is, of course, called HYPNOSIS. Through the use of hypnosis or self hypnosis you can easily and quickly gain access to the subconscious mind.
"Ok that all sounds great" you may say, "but what do I do then Sherlock?"
Well a skilful hypnotist, whether in person or on a recording, can very quickly ‘anchor’ new feelings to old memories. He can take a memory that has some very bad emotional responses connected to it and neutralize those emotions. Then he will re-connect your old memory with new positive emotions.
This involves the use of some very advanced forms of NLP (which can also be used very effectively without hypnosis). The positive affects of these techniques leaves you free from old memories that block you from moving forward in your life and also reprogram your mind to feel optimistic and hopeful when confronted with similar situations in the present and future.
This is also how phobias are dealt with and explaining this process should give you some idea of the power and benefits of using it on other emotional issues. Let’s say you have a real fear of spiders. Now everyone knows that a fear of spiders is irrational in most cases and has no foundation in truth. A house spider can do you absolutely no harm! So you get a hypnosis recording to deal with your arachnophobia. So what happens?
First the hypnotist will relax your mind and body and then get you to think of a happy scene filled with lovely beautiful creatures that you like. Say for instance you love little fluffy kittens. He will immerse you in the image and guide you to the beauty of the animal and evoke kindly, loving emotions. Then he will ask you to think of a spider. He may get you to put roller-skates on it and watch it trying to walk or get you to imagine it has a funny face or kindly demeanour. In this way he will neutralize the negative feelings you currently hold about the arachnid. Then he will connect the previous image of the kittens, and thus the positive emotions associated with it, to the image of the funny spider. You will also be guided to see the beauty of this little creature and its usefulness in nature. Thus, sometimes in one session, you can completely reverse a phobia!
Likewise the emotional response to any situation, circumstance, person or event can be reversed to whatever positive emotional response you want. Such is the power of hypnosis and the creativity of your mind. You will merely learn to react in a different, more positive, way and through modern mental techniques you can learn to do it in any way you desire.
So, there is really no excuse to suffer at the hands of your negative emotions any more. You can reprogram your mind to feel any way you want. Check it out, you may just like it!
Selasa, 20 Juli 2010
Controlling Behavior – How Do You Attempt to Control?
Controlling behavior: Behavior intended to control your own feelings, control how people feel about you and treat you, or control the outcome of things.
All of us have grown up learning many different ways to control – we had to as part of our survival.
Perhaps you grew up in a family that used anger and criticism as forms of control and this became the role modeling for what you do now. Or you might have been a child who picked up on anger early, had temper tantrums, and you are still using anger as your primary form of control.
If anger and criticism was used in your family, you might have learned to respond to it with compliance – being a good girl or boy. You might have learned to put aside your own feelings and needs and go along with what others wanted in the hopes of controlling their feelings and actions toward you. You might use care-taking as your primary form of control.
Or, you might have decided to go in the opposite direction and resist others’ attempts to control you. You might have decided that having control over not being controlled is what is really important. If you struggle with procrastination, you might want consider that resistance has become a major form of control for you.
Perhaps you decided as a child to just withdraw and shut out others’ attempts to control you. You might have also decided to try to control your own feelings through addictions such as food, alcohol, drugs, work, TV, gambling, spending, and so on.
Finally, you might have decided that avoiding your feelings by staying in your head instead of your heart is the way to feel safe from pain. The abandonment of your own feelings – the lack of love for yourself - results in inner emptiness. Your emptiness becomes like a vacuum on others’ energy, pulling on others to give you the love you need to fill your inner emptiness.
Most people chose a combination of the above ways of trying to control. For example, you might be a caretaker in the hopes of getting people to love and approve of you, and then you might turn to anger when that doesn’t happen. You might find yourself giving in to what people want to a certain extent, and then retreating or resisting their attempts to control you. You might find yourself being furious at someone’s attempts to control you, but then giving in anyway to avoid his or her upset with you. Or perhaps you are a mellow person until you drink, and then you unleash your rage. Or vice versa – you are nice only when you drink and you are a rageaholic the rest of the time. Or, on the surface you might be a nice and giving person, all the while pulling energetically for others’ love, attention, and approval.
All of these behaviors are intended to protect you from some form of pain – the pain of rejection, of engulfment, of failure. Most people attempt in numerous ways to have control over getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe.
Yet it is these very behaviors that, as adults, are causing most of our pain. Anger feels terrible in the body, as does compliance. Being stuck in procrastination or withdrawal also feels awful, as does the emptiness of staying in your head instead of your heart. All these behaviors result in feeling alone inside, because they are all ways to abandon yourself. Controlling behavior is not loving to yourself or to others.
We’ve all heard that you can’t love others until you love yourself, and this is very true. Loving yourself means that your focus is on what is truly in your highest good – what fills your heart with peace and joy and a deep sense of integrity and self worth. Loving yourself means that you are asking throughout the day, “What is in my highest good in this moment?” It is never in your highest good to try to control others or use them to fill your own emptiness. Nor is it in your highest good to harm yourself or others in any way.
Try practicing throughout the day asking this question, “What is in my highest good right now?” Answers will come to you, and then you can take the loving action. This one shift in your thinking can change your life!
All of us have grown up learning many different ways to control – we had to as part of our survival.
Perhaps you grew up in a family that used anger and criticism as forms of control and this became the role modeling for what you do now. Or you might have been a child who picked up on anger early, had temper tantrums, and you are still using anger as your primary form of control.
If anger and criticism was used in your family, you might have learned to respond to it with compliance – being a good girl or boy. You might have learned to put aside your own feelings and needs and go along with what others wanted in the hopes of controlling their feelings and actions toward you. You might use care-taking as your primary form of control.
Or, you might have decided to go in the opposite direction and resist others’ attempts to control you. You might have decided that having control over not being controlled is what is really important. If you struggle with procrastination, you might want consider that resistance has become a major form of control for you.
Perhaps you decided as a child to just withdraw and shut out others’ attempts to control you. You might have also decided to try to control your own feelings through addictions such as food, alcohol, drugs, work, TV, gambling, spending, and so on.
Finally, you might have decided that avoiding your feelings by staying in your head instead of your heart is the way to feel safe from pain. The abandonment of your own feelings – the lack of love for yourself - results in inner emptiness. Your emptiness becomes like a vacuum on others’ energy, pulling on others to give you the love you need to fill your inner emptiness.
Most people chose a combination of the above ways of trying to control. For example, you might be a caretaker in the hopes of getting people to love and approve of you, and then you might turn to anger when that doesn’t happen. You might find yourself giving in to what people want to a certain extent, and then retreating or resisting their attempts to control you. You might find yourself being furious at someone’s attempts to control you, but then giving in anyway to avoid his or her upset with you. Or perhaps you are a mellow person until you drink, and then you unleash your rage. Or vice versa – you are nice only when you drink and you are a rageaholic the rest of the time. Or, on the surface you might be a nice and giving person, all the while pulling energetically for others’ love, attention, and approval.
All of these behaviors are intended to protect you from some form of pain – the pain of rejection, of engulfment, of failure. Most people attempt in numerous ways to have control over getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe.
Yet it is these very behaviors that, as adults, are causing most of our pain. Anger feels terrible in the body, as does compliance. Being stuck in procrastination or withdrawal also feels awful, as does the emptiness of staying in your head instead of your heart. All these behaviors result in feeling alone inside, because they are all ways to abandon yourself. Controlling behavior is not loving to yourself or to others.
We’ve all heard that you can’t love others until you love yourself, and this is very true. Loving yourself means that your focus is on what is truly in your highest good – what fills your heart with peace and joy and a deep sense of integrity and self worth. Loving yourself means that you are asking throughout the day, “What is in my highest good in this moment?” It is never in your highest good to try to control others or use them to fill your own emptiness. Nor is it in your highest good to harm yourself or others in any way.
Try practicing throughout the day asking this question, “What is in my highest good right now?” Answers will come to you, and then you can take the loving action. This one shift in your thinking can change your life!
Senin, 19 Juli 2010
Controlling Anger
All of us get angry. Some of us get angry very often. Some are able to control the anger. Some of us express our anger freely, whereas some suppress it. Why do we get angry? Is there any way to control the anger? How to do that?
We get angry when we are stopped doing something. Or when we don't get our way. We get angry when our desires are not fulfilled, or when people don't agree to our viewpoint. Many times we get angry when we find our views at great variance with others and are not able to understand the other viewpoint and disagree with that.
List your friends. Think about a situation and imagine the reactions. For example, let us say that the situation is this - your friend is sitting in a restaurant and someone spills something hot on his/her hands unintentionally. Now imagine the reactions from your list. You will write reactions that will vary greatly. You will imagine a friend of yours laughing it off and another friend calling the manager and making a big scene. The reactions are different because they are controlling their anger differently. How?
Some of us never take things very seriously. So they don't get angry over small things at all. That is the nature of these people. Can we use any techniques to control anger? Let us examine. Do you react immediately, or think about what went wrong before reacting? Those of us who react spontaneously, get angry fast. Those who think about it before reacting are able to understand and control their emotions better. Why not count up to ten before reacting?
Understanding others viewpoint helps in many situations. As we have our viewpoint, so do others. Why try to enforce our thoughts on them? Why not at least try and understand what they think and why? If your boss is angry with you, you need not react immediately. Give some time and think about all the possible reasons and you may find the answer to his anger. If at the end you realize that his/her anger was totally unjustified, you chose to forgive and not react angrily.
Emotions such as anger can be controlled. It needs reflection. It needs practice to exercise restraint. By winning over your anger you will become a better person. Make your anger your slave and not get enslaved by it.
We get angry when we are stopped doing something. Or when we don't get our way. We get angry when our desires are not fulfilled, or when people don't agree to our viewpoint. Many times we get angry when we find our views at great variance with others and are not able to understand the other viewpoint and disagree with that.
List your friends. Think about a situation and imagine the reactions. For example, let us say that the situation is this - your friend is sitting in a restaurant and someone spills something hot on his/her hands unintentionally. Now imagine the reactions from your list. You will write reactions that will vary greatly. You will imagine a friend of yours laughing it off and another friend calling the manager and making a big scene. The reactions are different because they are controlling their anger differently. How?
Some of us never take things very seriously. So they don't get angry over small things at all. That is the nature of these people. Can we use any techniques to control anger? Let us examine. Do you react immediately, or think about what went wrong before reacting? Those of us who react spontaneously, get angry fast. Those who think about it before reacting are able to understand and control their emotions better. Why not count up to ten before reacting?
Understanding others viewpoint helps in many situations. As we have our viewpoint, so do others. Why try to enforce our thoughts on them? Why not at least try and understand what they think and why? If your boss is angry with you, you need not react immediately. Give some time and think about all the possible reasons and you may find the answer to his anger. If at the end you realize that his/her anger was totally unjustified, you chose to forgive and not react angrily.
Emotions such as anger can be controlled. It needs reflection. It needs practice to exercise restraint. By winning over your anger you will become a better person. Make your anger your slave and not get enslaved by it.
Minggu, 18 Juli 2010
Controlled By Beliefs!
Have you ever had someone attacking you and you can't figure out why?
They may say it is because of something you said, did or wrote, yet you know that it had nothing to do with them.
This happens more than we realize. And knowing how to recognize it and how to deal with it, is important in business and life. Quite often, an angry or even violent reaction from another person is due to a conflict or perceived threat with his or her inner belief system. On a fundamental level, the information or action triggered fear for their survival.
You see, when our inner beliefs are challenged, when tend to go into protection mode. It can shut down our ability to think and respond clearly. And quite often, we are not even aware of what these inner beliefs are.
Many if not most of them were developed in our childhood when we were learning how to survive and how everyone around us did things.
This is why, you can have two or more people in the identical situation and they all react differently. It's not the situation that's good or bad, it is just the viewpoint of the person experiencing it.
When we look at these beliefs, we can find that many of them no longer serve us. One destructive belief that I have seen people hold is that they can’t be wrong, ever. It apparently is a death sentence to be or even appear to be wrong. So when someone else has a difference of an opinion, then it becomes about right / wrong as apposed to just being different.
I have seen people shake and go red when someone else gives a different perspective on an issue then what they thought. This is very destructive in business. It stops production, and destroys teamwork. It can cause other people to be nervous about saying or doing anything, especially if the reaction came from a boss, team leader or supervisor.
So, what do you do when some one is freaking at you?
Getting mad or shouting back rarely if ever resolves the situation. This will only escalate the situation. Neither will insulting them work, as they probably don’t even know the real reason for their reaction. As far as they are concerned in that moment, it is something that you said or did.
It is important to remain as calm as possible and ask, "Why are you angry?"
The answer at first will probably be about what you said or did. Then repeat the question and ask, "But why are you really mad? What is it about this that has you so upset?"
However, there are situations where it's best to get away from the person for safety reasons. You can say that you would love to talk with them when they are calmer. It can often help to write a letter to the person, because when they are angry they are not listening anyway.
Most people don't even understand that they are reacting to something else and if given a chance; they will realize that it had little or nothing to do with the person that they are focusing their anger on.
It also helps to have a third party suggest that the person look at the real issue. Many psychologists have stated that people are never angry for the reason they think. And when they can look at it and communicate with themselves and others about it, they can then make real inroads at never being controlled by the destructive belief in the future.
Actually, we can all do this. Start noting when you are reacting instead of responding and then ask yourself, "Why do I feel strongly about this?" When we take the time to make insights into our own behaviour, we can release the control the destructive beliefs hold over us. Then we can have a happier more productive life.
They may say it is because of something you said, did or wrote, yet you know that it had nothing to do with them.
This happens more than we realize. And knowing how to recognize it and how to deal with it, is important in business and life. Quite often, an angry or even violent reaction from another person is due to a conflict or perceived threat with his or her inner belief system. On a fundamental level, the information or action triggered fear for their survival.
You see, when our inner beliefs are challenged, when tend to go into protection mode. It can shut down our ability to think and respond clearly. And quite often, we are not even aware of what these inner beliefs are.
Many if not most of them were developed in our childhood when we were learning how to survive and how everyone around us did things.
This is why, you can have two or more people in the identical situation and they all react differently. It's not the situation that's good or bad, it is just the viewpoint of the person experiencing it.
When we look at these beliefs, we can find that many of them no longer serve us. One destructive belief that I have seen people hold is that they can’t be wrong, ever. It apparently is a death sentence to be or even appear to be wrong. So when someone else has a difference of an opinion, then it becomes about right / wrong as apposed to just being different.
I have seen people shake and go red when someone else gives a different perspective on an issue then what they thought. This is very destructive in business. It stops production, and destroys teamwork. It can cause other people to be nervous about saying or doing anything, especially if the reaction came from a boss, team leader or supervisor.
So, what do you do when some one is freaking at you?
Getting mad or shouting back rarely if ever resolves the situation. This will only escalate the situation. Neither will insulting them work, as they probably don’t even know the real reason for their reaction. As far as they are concerned in that moment, it is something that you said or did.
It is important to remain as calm as possible and ask, "Why are you angry?"
The answer at first will probably be about what you said or did. Then repeat the question and ask, "But why are you really mad? What is it about this that has you so upset?"
However, there are situations where it's best to get away from the person for safety reasons. You can say that you would love to talk with them when they are calmer. It can often help to write a letter to the person, because when they are angry they are not listening anyway.
Most people don't even understand that they are reacting to something else and if given a chance; they will realize that it had little or nothing to do with the person that they are focusing their anger on.
It also helps to have a third party suggest that the person look at the real issue. Many psychologists have stated that people are never angry for the reason they think. And when they can look at it and communicate with themselves and others about it, they can then make real inroads at never being controlled by the destructive belief in the future.
Actually, we can all do this. Start noting when you are reacting instead of responding and then ask yourself, "Why do I feel strongly about this?" When we take the time to make insights into our own behaviour, we can release the control the destructive beliefs hold over us. Then we can have a happier more productive life.
Sabtu, 17 Juli 2010
Control Your Fear Before It Will Control You!
"Fear Factor" has been one of my favorite TV shows. It highlights the courage of the participants to engage in the most fearsome and disgusting acts.
Most of the contestants are willing to sacrifice their dignity for the sake of the prize money. So what does that imply?
It implies that with the proper mindset, determination, and will power, you can conquer your fear.
Everyone has some sort of fear. It may be brought about by any one or more of the following reasons.
1) by a traumatic past incident (like being bitten by a dog)
2) by the influence of other people
3) by their own negative way of thinking
But are you going to let fear take over your life? Will you remain a hostage of your fear forever?
You must take the necessary steps to overcome your fright. It's all in the mind.
Do you envy other people when you see them enjoying wild rides, and you're just stuck in a corner because you're too terrified to give it a try?
My suggestion is to face your fear head-on. Imagine yourself enjoying the experience instead of exaggerating the things that make you worry. (Unless of course you
have health problems, then taking wild rides may not be a good idea).
Do you want to be a doctor but you're afraid that your intellect can't handle the pressure or you're worried about financial insecurity?
Well here's the good news. If you're really determined to achieve your deepest desires, a powerful force will enable you to reach them amidst every obstacle that comes in the way. I'm not kidding.
Someone or something will always be there to help you attain your goals. Just have faith in your abilities. Your will power have the utmost capacity to accomplish anything with the proper mindset.
You could use visualization to help you in defeating any kind of fear.
Are you afraid of heights? Then imagine yourself being on top of a mountain, overseeing the magnificent sights. Enjoy and feel the moment. Take away all worries and anxieties.
Then just do it! Face it head on! Go to the top of a building and savor the great feeling of being able to face your fear.
This applies to whatever thing that triggers your fear factor. Just imagine being able to defeat it, then confront it with the definite belief that you have the capacity to do everything you want if you just put your
mind to it.
Face the thing you fear the most and you'll never have to fear anything again in your life.
Most of the contestants are willing to sacrifice their dignity for the sake of the prize money. So what does that imply?
It implies that with the proper mindset, determination, and will power, you can conquer your fear.
Everyone has some sort of fear. It may be brought about by any one or more of the following reasons.
1) by a traumatic past incident (like being bitten by a dog)
2) by the influence of other people
3) by their own negative way of thinking
But are you going to let fear take over your life? Will you remain a hostage of your fear forever?
You must take the necessary steps to overcome your fright. It's all in the mind.
Do you envy other people when you see them enjoying wild rides, and you're just stuck in a corner because you're too terrified to give it a try?
My suggestion is to face your fear head-on. Imagine yourself enjoying the experience instead of exaggerating the things that make you worry. (Unless of course you
have health problems, then taking wild rides may not be a good idea).
Do you want to be a doctor but you're afraid that your intellect can't handle the pressure or you're worried about financial insecurity?
Well here's the good news. If you're really determined to achieve your deepest desires, a powerful force will enable you to reach them amidst every obstacle that comes in the way. I'm not kidding.
Someone or something will always be there to help you attain your goals. Just have faith in your abilities. Your will power have the utmost capacity to accomplish anything with the proper mindset.
You could use visualization to help you in defeating any kind of fear.
Are you afraid of heights? Then imagine yourself being on top of a mountain, overseeing the magnificent sights. Enjoy and feel the moment. Take away all worries and anxieties.
Then just do it! Face it head on! Go to the top of a building and savor the great feeling of being able to face your fear.
This applies to whatever thing that triggers your fear factor. Just imagine being able to defeat it, then confront it with the definite belief that you have the capacity to do everything you want if you just put your
mind to it.
Face the thing you fear the most and you'll never have to fear anything again in your life.
Jumat, 16 Juli 2010
Continuing Professional Development
According to the dictionary, “Continuing professional development is the means by which members of professional associations maintain, improve and broaden their knowledge and skills and develop the personal qualities required in their professional lives.” Continuing professional development ensures that professionals keep developing their knowledge and skills, as well as improve their competence.
One can undertake a continuing professional development program through the following modes: home-based learning with the use of audio, video or multi-media resources and other distance-learning material; action-based learning or studying problem solution methods through workplace experience; supervised research; and conferences, seminars, workshops or other technical and professional events and meetings.
Continuing professional development accentuates a person’s education, development and effective professional performance. In the US, professional organizations are also making continuing education mandatory, either as a requirement of membership renewal or licensing retention. Government organizations, professional bodies, employment organizations, individual employees and professional development providers are increasingly stressing continuing professional development programs. A continuing professional development program requires systematic, ongoing, and self-directed learning that would ensure continued competence and an indisputable professional responsibility.
These programs offer courses that can provide the flexibility of a part-time study together with world-class postgraduate education and professional development. A professional can develop his skills through a variety of workshops, seminars, short courses, certificates, diplomas and master’s degrees as well as online courses across a wide range of disciplines. You can also study for short non-accredited specialist courses, which gives a person opportunity to be abreast with the latest changes in his profession.
Continuing professional development is important for the development of one’s career and can be used by organizations and individuals to investigate how learning can be best applied to support organizational objectives and sustain a competitive advantage.
One can undertake a continuing professional development program through the following modes: home-based learning with the use of audio, video or multi-media resources and other distance-learning material; action-based learning or studying problem solution methods through workplace experience; supervised research; and conferences, seminars, workshops or other technical and professional events and meetings.
Continuing professional development accentuates a person’s education, development and effective professional performance. In the US, professional organizations are also making continuing education mandatory, either as a requirement of membership renewal or licensing retention. Government organizations, professional bodies, employment organizations, individual employees and professional development providers are increasingly stressing continuing professional development programs. A continuing professional development program requires systematic, ongoing, and self-directed learning that would ensure continued competence and an indisputable professional responsibility.
These programs offer courses that can provide the flexibility of a part-time study together with world-class postgraduate education and professional development. A professional can develop his skills through a variety of workshops, seminars, short courses, certificates, diplomas and master’s degrees as well as online courses across a wide range of disciplines. You can also study for short non-accredited specialist courses, which gives a person opportunity to be abreast with the latest changes in his profession.
Continuing professional development is important for the development of one’s career and can be used by organizations and individuals to investigate how learning can be best applied to support organizational objectives and sustain a competitive advantage.
Kamis, 15 Juli 2010
Consejos Sabios para Llenar el Alma
Aquí te presento una lista de consejos para que no te sientas vació, y observar al pasado con una sonrisa. Las he obtenido de una persona que estaba al final de su vida y sintió que hubiera hecho muchas cosas diferentes y ha recetado una serie de consejos para aquel que este interesado en cambiar.
1) Habla menos; escucha más.
2) Escucha a las historias de tus abuelos a cerca de su juventud. Cuando ya no este, revivirás sus llamas por sus memorias.
3) Invita a amigos para cenar o picar algo, a pesar de que tu casa no este en condiciones.
4) Come mucho chocolate.
5) Invita amigos con chicos a tu casa a pesar de que hagan lió.
6) Siéntate en el pasto a pesar de que ensucie tus pantalones.
7) No compres algo solo porque durara mucho tiempo o porque es practico, hazlo porque quieres.
8) Quédate en cama relajado si te sientes enfermo y no pretendas que el mundo no puede continuar sin ti por un día.
9) Prende las velas que tienes de adorno en el salón y déjalas encendidas. No las dejes sin uso en el armario.
10) Comparte responsabilidades de la vida con un compañero, no solo las expensas.
11) (Para las mujeres) En vez de esperar al embarazo a que se termine, disfruta cada momento en tu corazón. Aprende que la vida dentro de ti es la única oportunidad que tienes de ayudar a Dios a crear magia.
12) Deja que tus hijos de abrasen y besen cuando quiera que lo deseen. No los detengas por ninguna razón como: "mas tarde", "ve a lavarte las manos", "deberemos comer" o demás.
13) Di las próximas dos frases lo más seguido que puedas: "Te Amo" y "Lo siento."
14) Deja de preocuparte por quien te quiere o no te quiere, o que tiene quien o no tiene.
15) Valora todas las relaciones humanas personales.
16) Juega con una mascota cuando puedas. Riete y corre con ella y toma parte en sus juegos.
17) Pasa el mayor tiempo posible con la gente que te quiere.
18) Deja de transpirar por todos los pequeños detalles y problemas sin sentido de la vida.
19) Toma cada momento, míralo y déjalo. Nunca volverá de nuevo.
La persona que escribió estos sabios consejos se llamaba Susana, y tenia una hija de seis años. Susana enseño estos ideales básicos a un conocido mío y yo los he tratado de seguir también en honor a su memoria. Creo que puedo decir que convertirá a quienquiera que lo haga en una mejor persona, un mejor esposa o esposa, y en general una persona mas feliz. Inclusive ahora creo que D'os ha bendecido a cada uno de nosotros, y deberemos aceptar estas bendiciones e intentar buscar sentirnos mas fuertes físicamente, mentalmente, y emocionalmente. Recuerda que todos tenemos la suerte de estar aquí, y aprovechar vivir la vida de la mejor manera posible, así que consejos para esa receta nunca están de mas.
1) Habla menos; escucha más.
2) Escucha a las historias de tus abuelos a cerca de su juventud. Cuando ya no este, revivirás sus llamas por sus memorias.
3) Invita a amigos para cenar o picar algo, a pesar de que tu casa no este en condiciones.
4) Come mucho chocolate.
5) Invita amigos con chicos a tu casa a pesar de que hagan lió.
6) Siéntate en el pasto a pesar de que ensucie tus pantalones.
7) No compres algo solo porque durara mucho tiempo o porque es practico, hazlo porque quieres.
8) Quédate en cama relajado si te sientes enfermo y no pretendas que el mundo no puede continuar sin ti por un día.
9) Prende las velas que tienes de adorno en el salón y déjalas encendidas. No las dejes sin uso en el armario.
10) Comparte responsabilidades de la vida con un compañero, no solo las expensas.
11) (Para las mujeres) En vez de esperar al embarazo a que se termine, disfruta cada momento en tu corazón. Aprende que la vida dentro de ti es la única oportunidad que tienes de ayudar a Dios a crear magia.
12) Deja que tus hijos de abrasen y besen cuando quiera que lo deseen. No los detengas por ninguna razón como: "mas tarde", "ve a lavarte las manos", "deberemos comer" o demás.
13) Di las próximas dos frases lo más seguido que puedas: "Te Amo" y "Lo siento."
14) Deja de preocuparte por quien te quiere o no te quiere, o que tiene quien o no tiene.
15) Valora todas las relaciones humanas personales.
16) Juega con una mascota cuando puedas. Riete y corre con ella y toma parte en sus juegos.
17) Pasa el mayor tiempo posible con la gente que te quiere.
18) Deja de transpirar por todos los pequeños detalles y problemas sin sentido de la vida.
19) Toma cada momento, míralo y déjalo. Nunca volverá de nuevo.
La persona que escribió estos sabios consejos se llamaba Susana, y tenia una hija de seis años. Susana enseño estos ideales básicos a un conocido mío y yo los he tratado de seguir también en honor a su memoria. Creo que puedo decir que convertirá a quienquiera que lo haga en una mejor persona, un mejor esposa o esposa, y en general una persona mas feliz. Inclusive ahora creo que D'os ha bendecido a cada uno de nosotros, y deberemos aceptar estas bendiciones e intentar buscar sentirnos mas fuertes físicamente, mentalmente, y emocionalmente. Recuerda que todos tenemos la suerte de estar aquí, y aprovechar vivir la vida de la mejor manera posible, así que consejos para esa receta nunca están de mas.
Rabu, 14 Juli 2010
Consejos Sabios para Lenar el Alma
Aquí te presento una lista de consejos para que no te sientas vació, y observar al pasado con una sonrisa. Las he obtenido de una persona que estaba al final de su vida y sintió que hubiera hecho muchas cosas diferentes y ha recetado una serie de consejos para aquel que este interesado en cambiar.
1) Habla menos; escucha más.
2) Escucha a las historias de tus abuelos a cerca de su juventud. Cuando ya no este, revivirás sus llamas por sus memorias.
3) Invita a amigos para cenar o picar algo, a pesar de que tu casa no este en condiciones.
4) Come mucho chocolate.
5) Invita amigos con chicos a tu casa a pesar de que hagan lió.
6) Siéntate en el pasto a pesar de que ensucie tus pantalones.
7) No compres algo solo porque durara mucho tiempo o porque es practico, hazlo porque quieres.
8) Quédate en cama relajado si te sientes enfermo y no pretendas que el mundo no puede continuar sin ti por un día.
9) Prende las velas que tienes de adorno en el salón y déjalas encendidas. No las dejes sin uso en el armario.
10) Comparte responsabilidades de la vida con un compañero, no solo las expensas.
11) (Para las mujeres) En vez de esperar al embarazo a que se termine, disfruta cada momento en tu corazón. Aprende que la vida dentro de ti es la única oportunidad que tienes de ayudar a Dios a crear magia.
12) Deja que tus hijos de abrasen y besen cuando quiera que lo deseen. No los detengas por ninguna razón como: "mas tarde", "ve a lavarte las manos", "deberemos comer" o demás.
13) Di las próximas dos frases lo más seguido que puedas: "Te Amo" y "Lo siento."
14) Deja de preocuparte por quien te quiere o no te quiere, o que tiene quien o no tiene.
15) Valora todas las relaciones humanas personales.
16) Juega con una mascota cuando puedas. Riete y corre con ella y toma parte en sus juegos.
17) Pasa el mayor tiempo posible con la gente que te quiere.
18) Deja de transpirar por todos los pequeños detalles y problemas sin sentido de la vida.
19) Toma cada momento, míralo y déjalo. Nunca volverá de nuevo.
La persona que escribió estos sabios consejos se llamaba Susana, y tenia una hija de seis años. Susana enseño estos ideales básicos a un conocido mío y yo los he tratado de seguir también en honor a su memoria. Creo que puedo decir que convertirá a quienquiera que lo haga en una mejor persona, un mejor esposa o esposa, y en general una persona mas feliz. Inclusive ahora creo que D'os ha bendecido a cada uno de nosotros, y deberemos aceptar estas bendiciones e intentar buscar sentirnos mas fuertes físicamente, mentalmente, y emocionalmente. Recuerda que todos tenemos la suerte de estar aquí, y aprovechar vivir la vida de la mejor manera posible, así que consejos para esa receta nunca están de mas.
1) Habla menos; escucha más.
2) Escucha a las historias de tus abuelos a cerca de su juventud. Cuando ya no este, revivirás sus llamas por sus memorias.
3) Invita a amigos para cenar o picar algo, a pesar de que tu casa no este en condiciones.
4) Come mucho chocolate.
5) Invita amigos con chicos a tu casa a pesar de que hagan lió.
6) Siéntate en el pasto a pesar de que ensucie tus pantalones.
7) No compres algo solo porque durara mucho tiempo o porque es practico, hazlo porque quieres.
8) Quédate en cama relajado si te sientes enfermo y no pretendas que el mundo no puede continuar sin ti por un día.
9) Prende las velas que tienes de adorno en el salón y déjalas encendidas. No las dejes sin uso en el armario.
10) Comparte responsabilidades de la vida con un compañero, no solo las expensas.
11) (Para las mujeres) En vez de esperar al embarazo a que se termine, disfruta cada momento en tu corazón. Aprende que la vida dentro de ti es la única oportunidad que tienes de ayudar a Dios a crear magia.
12) Deja que tus hijos de abrasen y besen cuando quiera que lo deseen. No los detengas por ninguna razón como: "mas tarde", "ve a lavarte las manos", "deberemos comer" o demás.
13) Di las próximas dos frases lo más seguido que puedas: "Te Amo" y "Lo siento."
14) Deja de preocuparte por quien te quiere o no te quiere, o que tiene quien o no tiene.
15) Valora todas las relaciones humanas personales.
16) Juega con una mascota cuando puedas. Riete y corre con ella y toma parte en sus juegos.
17) Pasa el mayor tiempo posible con la gente que te quiere.
18) Deja de transpirar por todos los pequeños detalles y problemas sin sentido de la vida.
19) Toma cada momento, míralo y déjalo. Nunca volverá de nuevo.
La persona que escribió estos sabios consejos se llamaba Susana, y tenia una hija de seis años. Susana enseño estos ideales básicos a un conocido mío y yo los he tratado de seguir también en honor a su memoria. Creo que puedo decir que convertirá a quienquiera que lo haga en una mejor persona, un mejor esposa o esposa, y en general una persona mas feliz. Inclusive ahora creo que D'os ha bendecido a cada uno de nosotros, y deberemos aceptar estas bendiciones e intentar buscar sentirnos mas fuertes físicamente, mentalmente, y emocionalmente. Recuerda que todos tenemos la suerte de estar aquí, y aprovechar vivir la vida de la mejor manera posible, así que consejos para esa receta nunca están de mas.
Selasa, 13 Juli 2010
Consciously Choosing A Positive Attitude
Do you consciously choose your attitude each day? If you're like most people, probably not. Most of us tend to let our circumstances choose our attitude for us. We're in a good mood as long as we get up on time, the kids cooperate and get to school on time, the car starts without a problem, we don't encounter any traffic jams on the way to work, the boss doesn't yell, our workload is manageable, etc. This system can work fine as long as everything runs smoothly in our lives.
But that's not always the case, is it? Situations don't always adhere to our expectations. Accidents happen. Delays happen. Spouses and bosses can be difficult to please. Vehicles break down. Kids may resist our efforts to keep the schedule running smoothly. What happens to our attitude then? If we don't make the effort to consciously choose a positive attitude, we run the risk of developing a negative one at random.
How would our lives change if we consciously chose a positive attitude each day? For starters, we'd feel much happier about our lives. We'd feel more motivated about pursuing our dreams because we'd believe in the possibilities for making them a reality. We'd be able to enjoy the time spent with our friends and families more, because we'd want to share our joy with others. We'd feel strong and empowered in our ability to do anything we set our minds to. We'd be able to overcome challenges with ease because we'd have a strong belief in our own skills and abilities. We'd be able to love deeply and completely without fear of rejection or betrayal. We would pause to enjoy the smaller, more precious moments in life, without feeling pressured to do more, be more, or prove our worthiness.
Wow, it sounds awesome, doesn't it? Is it really possible to feel that way all the time? Yes, but probably not in the way you're imagining it. Just because we choose a positive attitude doesn't mean that our lives will transform into smoothly-flowing works of art and stay that way forever. Choosing a positive attitude is a process. We don't just choose it once and expect everything to be perfect from that moment on. We will still experience setbacks, delays, accidents, frustrations, arguments, fatigue, and fear. The secret is how we choose to react to these experiences. Do we want to let them ruin our day, or do we choose to pick ourselves up and look hopefully to the future again? We do have the power to choose.
You may be asking what the point of a positive attitude is. If we'll still experience negative circumstances, why bother with choosing a positive attitude? Ah, that's the true beauty of the creative process. What we choose to focus on the most, we create in our lives.
By choosing a positive attitude each day, we are actually attracting more positive experiences, and reducing the likelihood of negative experiences. You may have noticed that each experience often determines the quality of the next experience, causing a chain reaction in our lives. If one little thing goes wrong, it can throw off our plans for the rest of the day. In this context, it's easy to see how a positive attitude would be powerful. Rather than allowing one little thing to ruin our day, we would be able to shrug it off and continue on without a hitch.
Over time, this resiliency begins to strengthen and empower us, which will show through in our demeanor. We begin attracting people and experiences that more closely match our attitude, and our lives eventually transform into more positive, fulfilling expressions of joy.
And it all begins with a little thing called attitude! Again, this is a process, so go easy on yourself if you're trying to adopt a more positive attitude. Simply focus on developing a stronger awareness of your attitude moment to moment in your daily experiences, and begin choosing a more positive one more often. It takes time to realize the full benefits of this type of mindset, but it is time well-spent.
Before you know it, you'll be one of those people you used to admire for their tenacity and strength, and your life will transform in amazing ways.
But that's not always the case, is it? Situations don't always adhere to our expectations. Accidents happen. Delays happen. Spouses and bosses can be difficult to please. Vehicles break down. Kids may resist our efforts to keep the schedule running smoothly. What happens to our attitude then? If we don't make the effort to consciously choose a positive attitude, we run the risk of developing a negative one at random.
How would our lives change if we consciously chose a positive attitude each day? For starters, we'd feel much happier about our lives. We'd feel more motivated about pursuing our dreams because we'd believe in the possibilities for making them a reality. We'd be able to enjoy the time spent with our friends and families more, because we'd want to share our joy with others. We'd feel strong and empowered in our ability to do anything we set our minds to. We'd be able to overcome challenges with ease because we'd have a strong belief in our own skills and abilities. We'd be able to love deeply and completely without fear of rejection or betrayal. We would pause to enjoy the smaller, more precious moments in life, without feeling pressured to do more, be more, or prove our worthiness.
Wow, it sounds awesome, doesn't it? Is it really possible to feel that way all the time? Yes, but probably not in the way you're imagining it. Just because we choose a positive attitude doesn't mean that our lives will transform into smoothly-flowing works of art and stay that way forever. Choosing a positive attitude is a process. We don't just choose it once and expect everything to be perfect from that moment on. We will still experience setbacks, delays, accidents, frustrations, arguments, fatigue, and fear. The secret is how we choose to react to these experiences. Do we want to let them ruin our day, or do we choose to pick ourselves up and look hopefully to the future again? We do have the power to choose.
You may be asking what the point of a positive attitude is. If we'll still experience negative circumstances, why bother with choosing a positive attitude? Ah, that's the true beauty of the creative process. What we choose to focus on the most, we create in our lives.
By choosing a positive attitude each day, we are actually attracting more positive experiences, and reducing the likelihood of negative experiences. You may have noticed that each experience often determines the quality of the next experience, causing a chain reaction in our lives. If one little thing goes wrong, it can throw off our plans for the rest of the day. In this context, it's easy to see how a positive attitude would be powerful. Rather than allowing one little thing to ruin our day, we would be able to shrug it off and continue on without a hitch.
Over time, this resiliency begins to strengthen and empower us, which will show through in our demeanor. We begin attracting people and experiences that more closely match our attitude, and our lives eventually transform into more positive, fulfilling expressions of joy.
And it all begins with a little thing called attitude! Again, this is a process, so go easy on yourself if you're trying to adopt a more positive attitude. Simply focus on developing a stronger awareness of your attitude moment to moment in your daily experiences, and begin choosing a more positive one more often. It takes time to realize the full benefits of this type of mindset, but it is time well-spent.
Before you know it, you'll be one of those people you used to admire for their tenacity and strength, and your life will transform in amazing ways.
Senin, 12 Juli 2010
Conquer Your Fear! Learn To Be Confident In Public Speech
In public speaking, fear maybe viewed as negative leading to ineffective communication. This is the tendency if you predict bad situations. Fear can be easily seen through physical manifestations: hands cold and clammy, rumbling speech, slouching and unwanted movements.
In public speaking, fear comes from the “fear of the unknown.” Most people are afraid of not being liked, offending someone, forgetting everything, of stumbling and falling or ruining the effort.
But fear can be seen in a positive aspect as well. According to Kenneth McFarland, “it is not necessary to banish fear in order to gain confidence. A wholesome fear of failure is one of the best guarantees of success.”
Fear can be a motivating force for the public speaker that adds strength, energy and conviction to otherwise lifeless ideas. Your courage is the ability to see fear in a realistic perspective. The way to curb your fear is to prepare thoroughly. But fear cannot be eliminated fully. It is meant to be conquered.
In any public speaking experience, stage fright and anxiety are hindrances to building your self-confidence. Stage fright is an emotional state that affects people the minute they stand before an audience. Having positive thoughts greatly help in managing stage fright. Believing that you are going to succeed, that you are effective as a speaker and that your audience will trust you and gain respect for you are sure winners to combat fear. Furthermore, being aware that nobody is perfect and everybody is prone to mistakes are effective thoughts to calm you down. Best of all, think that the audience is your friend.
If you need to know more on how to build your self-confidence, here are some practical tips:
1. Share your personal experience to begin your talk. Why? Because no one knows better than you do.
2. The most effective way out, if fear attacks you, is to do it. Conquer your fear. Do not hesitate just because you think that someone can do better that you do.
3. Accept that you know. Be confident to share about it.
4. As a public speaker, you ought to assume the delivery man role and that you carry an important message that you need to get across.
5. Apologizing in public speaking is a sin. Do not apologize for your material or even your lack of experience.
6. Be yourself and be confident. Do not imitate government officials in the way they speak. Speak in your own “official capacity”.
7. Prepare for the occasion by dressing appropriately and then forget how you look.
Confidence is a key element in achieving success. But remember, be on guard against overconfidence.
In public speaking, fear comes from the “fear of the unknown.” Most people are afraid of not being liked, offending someone, forgetting everything, of stumbling and falling or ruining the effort.
But fear can be seen in a positive aspect as well. According to Kenneth McFarland, “it is not necessary to banish fear in order to gain confidence. A wholesome fear of failure is one of the best guarantees of success.”
Fear can be a motivating force for the public speaker that adds strength, energy and conviction to otherwise lifeless ideas. Your courage is the ability to see fear in a realistic perspective. The way to curb your fear is to prepare thoroughly. But fear cannot be eliminated fully. It is meant to be conquered.
In any public speaking experience, stage fright and anxiety are hindrances to building your self-confidence. Stage fright is an emotional state that affects people the minute they stand before an audience. Having positive thoughts greatly help in managing stage fright. Believing that you are going to succeed, that you are effective as a speaker and that your audience will trust you and gain respect for you are sure winners to combat fear. Furthermore, being aware that nobody is perfect and everybody is prone to mistakes are effective thoughts to calm you down. Best of all, think that the audience is your friend.
If you need to know more on how to build your self-confidence, here are some practical tips:
1. Share your personal experience to begin your talk. Why? Because no one knows better than you do.
2. The most effective way out, if fear attacks you, is to do it. Conquer your fear. Do not hesitate just because you think that someone can do better that you do.
3. Accept that you know. Be confident to share about it.
4. As a public speaker, you ought to assume the delivery man role and that you carry an important message that you need to get across.
5. Apologizing in public speaking is a sin. Do not apologize for your material or even your lack of experience.
6. Be yourself and be confident. Do not imitate government officials in the way they speak. Speak in your own “official capacity”.
7. Prepare for the occasion by dressing appropriately and then forget how you look.
Confidence is a key element in achieving success. But remember, be on guard against overconfidence.
Minggu, 11 Juli 2010
Conoce a la Realeza y Aristocracia Europea
Una de las maneras más fáciles para conocer a tu príncipe o princesa es en los prestigiosos casinos de Europa. La realeza y Aristocracia salen a divertirse en cinco casinos en especial, y si estas adentro puedes hablar con ellos. También podrás jugar con ellos, y en contra de ellos, y si eres lo suficientemente bueno, podrás ganarles. Es emocionante la idea de haberle ganado a un rey. Estos cinco Hoteles Casinos te dan esta oportunidad.
Aquí deberás ir vestido elegante con traje o chaqueta y moño y zapatos elegantes, solo así te dejaran entrar y ser parte de la aristocracia europea, para jugar a un partido o dos de bacará con ellos.
Los Casinos alistados aquí son los mas grandes y lujosos en Europa. Su clientela no es de turistas de la temporada, sino la alta sociedad. Así que si estas buscando una forma lujosa de pasar un tiempo en el casino jugando a Dados u otro juego, puedes tirar los dados en uno de los casinos alistados aquí mientras que tus compañeros de viaje se relajan en la rivera francesa, o hacen compras en las casas de renombre en Londres o Moscú.
1) Casino de Monte Carlo, Mónaco:
Este es el sitio favorito de los ricos y famosos en Europa por mas de 150 años con el primer casino fundado por el Príncipe Carlos III de Mónaco en 1863. EL Casino de Monte Carlo es un complejo de cinco casinos "posh" ubicados en la costa decorados con un etilo rococó francés con columnas enmarmoladas, ornamentos de oro y candelabros de cristal. El ambiente te hará sentir como un participante en una película de época francesa.
2) Casino Metropol, Moscú:
La Federación Rusa tiene la mayor cantidad de casinos y maquinas tragamonedas en Europa del Este. Los mejores casinos para turistas son desde ya los que están ubicados en los hoteles. Casino Metropol, que no solo es uno de los mas elegantes en la zona sino que también es conveniente localizado en el centro de la ciudad de Moscú a solo unos minutos del Kremlin. El monto mínimo para las apuestas es de 25 en cada mesa y una noche en la suita presidencial cuesta 2,000 dólares.
3) Baden Baden Casino, Alemania:
El casino veterano europeo fue fundado en 1809 y a pesar de que ha cambiado varios dueños desde entonces, su reputación como uno de los más finos en Europa y en Alemania especialmente no ha cambiado. Hoy en día, el Casino Baden Baden es una de las atracciones principales en la ciudad junto con los famosos baños termales. Si ignoras a los juegos de mesa y las maquinas tragamonedas. Caminar por la enorme sala se siente similar a una visita a un museo de arte europea, con exhibiciones permanentes de óleo y esculturas.
4) Clermont Club, Londres Inglaterra:
Si visitas Inglaterra, no puedes solo ir a cualquier casino sin ser miembro previamente. SI decidas seguir ese procedimiento, el Clermont Club en Berkley es uno de los clubes de apuestas con mejor reputación alrededor. Construido en el siglo 17, fue diseñado para parecerse al Great Hall en Holkham. También, el casino Clermont Club incluye una sala de apuestas amistosa y conveniente, con un bar donde los miembros y sus invitados pueden disfrutar de un banquete con una botella de champaña de estilo. Recuerda que jugar en casinos en línea es legal ahora en Inglaterra así que puedes hacerlo desde cualquier café online.
5) Casino Barriere de Deauville, Francia:
El elegante casino resort ha inspirado a Ian Fleming en su primera novela de James Bond Casino Royale. Fundado en 1860 por Duc de Morny, este extravagante lugar es uno de los hermosos casinos en el mundo. Además de sus facilidades en apuestas, Casino Barriere ofrece variedad de entretenimiento exclusivo, espectáculos y eventos artísticos.
Aquí deberás ir vestido elegante con traje o chaqueta y moño y zapatos elegantes, solo así te dejaran entrar y ser parte de la aristocracia europea, para jugar a un partido o dos de bacará con ellos.
Los Casinos alistados aquí son los mas grandes y lujosos en Europa. Su clientela no es de turistas de la temporada, sino la alta sociedad. Así que si estas buscando una forma lujosa de pasar un tiempo en el casino jugando a Dados u otro juego, puedes tirar los dados en uno de los casinos alistados aquí mientras que tus compañeros de viaje se relajan en la rivera francesa, o hacen compras en las casas de renombre en Londres o Moscú.
1) Casino de Monte Carlo, Mónaco:
Este es el sitio favorito de los ricos y famosos en Europa por mas de 150 años con el primer casino fundado por el Príncipe Carlos III de Mónaco en 1863. EL Casino de Monte Carlo es un complejo de cinco casinos "posh" ubicados en la costa decorados con un etilo rococó francés con columnas enmarmoladas, ornamentos de oro y candelabros de cristal. El ambiente te hará sentir como un participante en una película de época francesa.
2) Casino Metropol, Moscú:
La Federación Rusa tiene la mayor cantidad de casinos y maquinas tragamonedas en Europa del Este. Los mejores casinos para turistas son desde ya los que están ubicados en los hoteles. Casino Metropol, que no solo es uno de los mas elegantes en la zona sino que también es conveniente localizado en el centro de la ciudad de Moscú a solo unos minutos del Kremlin. El monto mínimo para las apuestas es de 25 en cada mesa y una noche en la suita presidencial cuesta 2,000 dólares.
3) Baden Baden Casino, Alemania:
El casino veterano europeo fue fundado en 1809 y a pesar de que ha cambiado varios dueños desde entonces, su reputación como uno de los más finos en Europa y en Alemania especialmente no ha cambiado. Hoy en día, el Casino Baden Baden es una de las atracciones principales en la ciudad junto con los famosos baños termales. Si ignoras a los juegos de mesa y las maquinas tragamonedas. Caminar por la enorme sala se siente similar a una visita a un museo de arte europea, con exhibiciones permanentes de óleo y esculturas.
4) Clermont Club, Londres Inglaterra:
Si visitas Inglaterra, no puedes solo ir a cualquier casino sin ser miembro previamente. SI decidas seguir ese procedimiento, el Clermont Club en Berkley es uno de los clubes de apuestas con mejor reputación alrededor. Construido en el siglo 17, fue diseñado para parecerse al Great Hall en Holkham. También, el casino Clermont Club incluye una sala de apuestas amistosa y conveniente, con un bar donde los miembros y sus invitados pueden disfrutar de un banquete con una botella de champaña de estilo. Recuerda que jugar en casinos en línea es legal ahora en Inglaterra así que puedes hacerlo desde cualquier café online.
5) Casino Barriere de Deauville, Francia:
El elegante casino resort ha inspirado a Ian Fleming en su primera novela de James Bond Casino Royale. Fundado en 1860 por Duc de Morny, este extravagante lugar es uno de los hermosos casinos en el mundo. Además de sus facilidades en apuestas, Casino Barriere ofrece variedad de entretenimiento exclusivo, espectáculos y eventos artísticos.
Sabtu, 10 Juli 2010
Connecting To The Other Side
I was sitting in my living room one day when a commercial came on for the Sci-Fi channel that said some guy was going to talk with the dead. This naturally grabbed my attention and the more I listened to how this person was going to connect with friends and loved ones who have crossed over a light switch flipped on for me. I had the “Ah-Ha” moment.
I immediately wondered how John Edward did what he did. I started watching every show there was to watch and became obsessed with trying to communicate to the other side. I just knew that it was something that I had to try and do. I watched every show over and over again to see how John received the information. I grabbed every book that I could to see how others used their abilities. Some I resonated with and some I did not. Then I went to the internet to talk with other Psychics about how they received their information. Most were helpful but there were some psychics who I felt were limiting themselves. They had told me not to worry about getting certain types of information. “Don’t worry about names” they said. But I knew that it was possible. John did it all the time. That became my mantra after a while. “Well John does it, why can’t I”?
After time and dedication and quitting my “real” job as a morning television host, I became a professional psychic medium. I have built up what I consider to be a successful practice doing readings, teaching classes and yes, doing Galleries. I also refer to them as “Psychic Tupperware Parties”. Much of what I do comes from watching John on Television and I hope that I will meet him one day to let him know how much he has changed my life.
The first hurdle that you will have to get over is the recognition and the openness to know that the information you receive could be coming from a higher source. Once you have acknowledged this inside of your self you have come eighty percent of the way. The rest is passion, desire and commitment. This is a field where you get out of it exactly what you put into it. Technically, the same is true of life itself. It’s like learning to sing or play soccer. How much effort and practice you put in is up to you. Do you want to sing at the Grand ‘Ol Opry or are you content with singing to your hearts content in the shower?
Many people do not want to work professionally such as I do or like John Edward. That’s okay…just because you get into this doesn’t mean that you are committed to doing readings and galleries. Some people just want to know that they are not going crazy. They want their lives to go a bit smoother by listening to that inner voice.
So what is your first step? Find out what your strength is. Do you have a very good imagination? Do you see things a little differently than other people? Do you always seem to get that gut feeling when something is not right? Break out in a sweat? What about when you come home, turn on the light and the light flickers?....sometimes it’s a sign….other times it just means that you have to go to Wal-Mart and get new bulb! My point is, don’t get too deep with this. It is very easy to go overboard and see too much into something and that can be just as clogging to the process as anything else.
So, back to your senses. Once you have figured out your strength, that is a good place to start. In future articles I will have some tips on how to find your strengths and enhance your psychic ability for whatever purpose you wish.
I immediately wondered how John Edward did what he did. I started watching every show there was to watch and became obsessed with trying to communicate to the other side. I just knew that it was something that I had to try and do. I watched every show over and over again to see how John received the information. I grabbed every book that I could to see how others used their abilities. Some I resonated with and some I did not. Then I went to the internet to talk with other Psychics about how they received their information. Most were helpful but there were some psychics who I felt were limiting themselves. They had told me not to worry about getting certain types of information. “Don’t worry about names” they said. But I knew that it was possible. John did it all the time. That became my mantra after a while. “Well John does it, why can’t I”?
After time and dedication and quitting my “real” job as a morning television host, I became a professional psychic medium. I have built up what I consider to be a successful practice doing readings, teaching classes and yes, doing Galleries. I also refer to them as “Psychic Tupperware Parties”. Much of what I do comes from watching John on Television and I hope that I will meet him one day to let him know how much he has changed my life.
The first hurdle that you will have to get over is the recognition and the openness to know that the information you receive could be coming from a higher source. Once you have acknowledged this inside of your self you have come eighty percent of the way. The rest is passion, desire and commitment. This is a field where you get out of it exactly what you put into it. Technically, the same is true of life itself. It’s like learning to sing or play soccer. How much effort and practice you put in is up to you. Do you want to sing at the Grand ‘Ol Opry or are you content with singing to your hearts content in the shower?
Many people do not want to work professionally such as I do or like John Edward. That’s okay…just because you get into this doesn’t mean that you are committed to doing readings and galleries. Some people just want to know that they are not going crazy. They want their lives to go a bit smoother by listening to that inner voice.
So what is your first step? Find out what your strength is. Do you have a very good imagination? Do you see things a little differently than other people? Do you always seem to get that gut feeling when something is not right? Break out in a sweat? What about when you come home, turn on the light and the light flickers?....sometimes it’s a sign….other times it just means that you have to go to Wal-Mart and get new bulb! My point is, don’t get too deep with this. It is very easy to go overboard and see too much into something and that can be just as clogging to the process as anything else.
So, back to your senses. Once you have figured out your strength, that is a good place to start. In future articles I will have some tips on how to find your strengths and enhance your psychic ability for whatever purpose you wish.
Jumat, 09 Juli 2010
Connecting the Past and the Present: Healing Abandonment and Abuse through Awareness
Many people I work with in therapy or in my writing-as-healing classes discover stories that surprise them—stories about the mistakes they felt their parents made, power imbalances in the family, or stories about physical or sexual abuse. The darker stories are often a surprise: when writers sat down to write, those issues were not directly on their minds, but deep, revealing stories erupted from the pen. Though they were unexpected, for some they were a relief. People who have been in therapy have had the same kind of experience—the subject matter in the forefront of the mind is not the material that “accidentally” arises during the session. The therapy session begins with a particular subject in the present—for example dissatisfaction at work or trouble in a relationship, but often travels back in time with associations to parents, school, or past relationships.
It has become a cliché to talk about “dysfunctional” relationships and families, but most people do not have perfect families, and many have had to struggle with a range of problems—alcoholism, abuse—physical, sexual, or emotional, eating disorders, and depression, to name a few. No one likes to be reminded of the past but when it keeps coming up, we are pushed to learn new responses as we search for more peace and positivity in our lives.
The past is not dead—it’s not even past. -William Faulkner
Different kinds of abandonment
For people who have been abandoned, either literally by actual physical absence, or emotionally—a parent can be in the home and not there for us—the abandoned child syndrome may remain years later, showing up through insecurities and fears, clinging behaviors or its opposite—walls to intimacy. The abandoned child inside the adult can create havoc such as alcohol abuse, repeating their own abandonment by abandoning children, or refusal to have children out of fear of repetition. Depression, lack of energy and creativity, anger, and trying to fill up the emptiness may be manifestations of these issues.
When the abandoned child is feeling its pain and loss, the rest of the adult person is unable to find emotional balance. New skills are needed to help sort out the confusion, and to create new, healthier patterns. Part of the healing may include grieving and anger, as those repressed feelings are released. But it is equally important to look at strengths: how well you are doing and what you want to contribute to the world as well as the positive side of parents and caretakers. Most people do the best they can.
Healing is a process of peeling the onion, so to speak. Revealing one layer after another, with time for rest and integration, leads to inner peace, resolution, and forgiveness.
Here are some suggestions:
1. Write about parallels between the past and the present. Become more aware of old patterns finding their way into your current life.
2. List all the ways you feel you were abandoned. Don’t worry if the list doesn’t make logical sense or is too long or short. Just write what you feel and remember.
3. Look at photographs of you and your family from those time periods as a way to help you remember details. Becoming more aware of the past can help you sort issues in the present.
4. Write an “unsent letter”—do not send it!—to your mother, telling her all the ways you appreciated her.
5. Now write an “unsent letter” listing the ways she let you down. DO NOT send unsent letters in the exercise—these are just ways for you to help yourself to heal.
Do the same for your father.
1. Write about your intentions for today, this week—what do you want to change? What are you goals in your life now?
2. What are you doing well now, and how is it different and better than what you or your family might have done in the past?
3. What are your strengths? Name 10 things your friends would say are your best traits.
4. Write about how you are your best friend. How you take care of yourself and like yourself.
It has become a cliché to talk about “dysfunctional” relationships and families, but most people do not have perfect families, and many have had to struggle with a range of problems—alcoholism, abuse—physical, sexual, or emotional, eating disorders, and depression, to name a few. No one likes to be reminded of the past but when it keeps coming up, we are pushed to learn new responses as we search for more peace and positivity in our lives.
The past is not dead—it’s not even past. -William Faulkner
Different kinds of abandonment
For people who have been abandoned, either literally by actual physical absence, or emotionally—a parent can be in the home and not there for us—the abandoned child syndrome may remain years later, showing up through insecurities and fears, clinging behaviors or its opposite—walls to intimacy. The abandoned child inside the adult can create havoc such as alcohol abuse, repeating their own abandonment by abandoning children, or refusal to have children out of fear of repetition. Depression, lack of energy and creativity, anger, and trying to fill up the emptiness may be manifestations of these issues.
When the abandoned child is feeling its pain and loss, the rest of the adult person is unable to find emotional balance. New skills are needed to help sort out the confusion, and to create new, healthier patterns. Part of the healing may include grieving and anger, as those repressed feelings are released. But it is equally important to look at strengths: how well you are doing and what you want to contribute to the world as well as the positive side of parents and caretakers. Most people do the best they can.
Healing is a process of peeling the onion, so to speak. Revealing one layer after another, with time for rest and integration, leads to inner peace, resolution, and forgiveness.
Here are some suggestions:
1. Write about parallels between the past and the present. Become more aware of old patterns finding their way into your current life.
2. List all the ways you feel you were abandoned. Don’t worry if the list doesn’t make logical sense or is too long or short. Just write what you feel and remember.
3. Look at photographs of you and your family from those time periods as a way to help you remember details. Becoming more aware of the past can help you sort issues in the present.
4. Write an “unsent letter”—do not send it!—to your mother, telling her all the ways you appreciated her.
5. Now write an “unsent letter” listing the ways she let you down. DO NOT send unsent letters in the exercise—these are just ways for you to help yourself to heal.
Do the same for your father.
1. Write about your intentions for today, this week—what do you want to change? What are you goals in your life now?
2. What are you doing well now, and how is it different and better than what you or your family might have done in the past?
3. What are your strengths? Name 10 things your friends would say are your best traits.
4. Write about how you are your best friend. How you take care of yourself and like yourself.
Kamis, 08 Juli 2010
Conflict Mistakes
One of the questions I receive most often from my newsletter subscribers is what do I do when I've "blown it?" As one good friend said: "I forgot all the great ways I know to address a conflict. I reprimanded an employee by basically attacking her character. I did apologize, and, thankfully, she is not quitting. But things feel awkward, and I'm wondering if there's something I can do to help the situation besides apologize."
First, this person did just the right thing—she apologized, and she didn't wait too long to do it. It's important to remember that we all react occasionally in ways that we think better of later. Once you apologize, give it time. Continue to center, breathe, smile, and treat the employee with respect.
In addition, hold the vision that with time your relationship will be back on the right track. Visualize how you want the relationship to look as you continue to work together, and begin acting on that vision in your daily communication.
Think of a physical wound--it takes time to heal. While it's healing, you treat the wound gently, keep it clean, maybe smooth some cream on it to help the healing process.
It's the same with healing a relationship. Keep your communication clean, gentle, and yet honest and direct. Say hello, how's it going? Treat her as you would under normal circumstances, yet with the awareness of what did occur. You don't pretend the conflict never happened, but you don't have to abase yourself either.
Finally, remember that it's not only up to you. You have a part in this, and so does she. You cannot do her part for her; you can only do yours. If you give the employee room, she will find her way back to the strong connection that once existed.
First, this person did just the right thing—she apologized, and she didn't wait too long to do it. It's important to remember that we all react occasionally in ways that we think better of later. Once you apologize, give it time. Continue to center, breathe, smile, and treat the employee with respect.
In addition, hold the vision that with time your relationship will be back on the right track. Visualize how you want the relationship to look as you continue to work together, and begin acting on that vision in your daily communication.
Think of a physical wound--it takes time to heal. While it's healing, you treat the wound gently, keep it clean, maybe smooth some cream on it to help the healing process.
It's the same with healing a relationship. Keep your communication clean, gentle, and yet honest and direct. Say hello, how's it going? Treat her as you would under normal circumstances, yet with the awareness of what did occur. You don't pretend the conflict never happened, but you don't have to abase yourself either.
Finally, remember that it's not only up to you. You have a part in this, and so does she. You cannot do her part for her; you can only do yours. If you give the employee room, she will find her way back to the strong connection that once existed.
Rabu, 07 Juli 2010
Conflict and Change: Managing Emotional Energy
The beginning of a new year, like the beginning of anything, brings with it thoughts of change, rejuvenation, new life, and resolutions about how to accomplish these changes. Life offers possibilities of a fresh start for our relationships. But we don't always carry through on our resolutions.
There's a great difference between wanting to change and actually doing it. It's one thing to know how we want to be, quite another to be that person. An example most of us can relate to is the way we react to stress and conflict. In spite of our intentions to do otherwise, we often react to conflict in the same habitual ways. How many times have you walked away from a conflict saying: "I can't believe it. I did it again. That's not how I wanted to handle that!"? These habits seem hard-wired.
Can we change our patterning? I think so. With an awareness of the desire to change, we are already beginning the process. We can learn new skills. And then it's a matter of time and practice, until the new skills become new habits. Not until our body responds automatically will the new behavior really be ours. Until then, we choose it with awareness – the beginning of change.
An important capacity in emotional intelligence is the ability to bring awareness to our emotional energy. With awareness comes an ability to manage that energy. A mind-body skill that is critical to increasing our awareness and choice in the moment is the skill of centering. Most of us talk about being centered (and uncentered), but what is it really?
Scientists say that any object has a center of gravity--a very small point upon which that object can be balanced. Our bodies have a center of gravity, too, and it's approximately two inches below our navel. Because we are not just physical objects, our center is a point of emotional balance as well. By breathing deeply into this spot and directing our weight toward the center point, we become more calm, focused and able to handle whatever may come. We reconnect with intuition, purpose, and power, and we feel more confident and in control.
If practiced consistently, the art and skill of centering can change the way we respond to any conflict. Instead of reacting from old patterns of behavior, we can choose a response based on who we are now. Conflict becomes an opportunity practice, change, learn, and evolve.
Tried and true ways to begin your practice of centering include:
• Center now. You can train yourself to center by standing in a relaxed posture and directing the weight of your body toward your physical center. Breathe into this center point of your body. Breathe out from this same point. You will begin to feel more composed, confident, and in charge of yourself, both physically and emotionally.
• Start your day centered. Physical exercise, deep breathing, meditation, prayer, and quiet reflection are all ways to become more centered. You may have your own way to do it. By starting your day with a centering activity, you will return to the centered state more easily as the day’s events unfold.
• Create triggers. Triggers are objects, behaviors, people, or events that remind you to re-center periodically. Place posters or quotations on the wall that reinforce your vision. Keep a book of affirmations close at hand, or a picture of a loved one to help you remember what is really important. Listen to one of your favorite centering tapes as you drive to and from work. When you push open the door to your office, let it be a trigger to center yourself
Remember that our awareness is always in training. We can learn and practice new skills that can change the way we handle conflict and the way we live. Good luck, and good practice!
© 2005 Judy Ringer, Power & Presence Training
There's a great difference between wanting to change and actually doing it. It's one thing to know how we want to be, quite another to be that person. An example most of us can relate to is the way we react to stress and conflict. In spite of our intentions to do otherwise, we often react to conflict in the same habitual ways. How many times have you walked away from a conflict saying: "I can't believe it. I did it again. That's not how I wanted to handle that!"? These habits seem hard-wired.
Can we change our patterning? I think so. With an awareness of the desire to change, we are already beginning the process. We can learn new skills. And then it's a matter of time and practice, until the new skills become new habits. Not until our body responds automatically will the new behavior really be ours. Until then, we choose it with awareness – the beginning of change.
An important capacity in emotional intelligence is the ability to bring awareness to our emotional energy. With awareness comes an ability to manage that energy. A mind-body skill that is critical to increasing our awareness and choice in the moment is the skill of centering. Most of us talk about being centered (and uncentered), but what is it really?
Scientists say that any object has a center of gravity--a very small point upon which that object can be balanced. Our bodies have a center of gravity, too, and it's approximately two inches below our navel. Because we are not just physical objects, our center is a point of emotional balance as well. By breathing deeply into this spot and directing our weight toward the center point, we become more calm, focused and able to handle whatever may come. We reconnect with intuition, purpose, and power, and we feel more confident and in control.
If practiced consistently, the art and skill of centering can change the way we respond to any conflict. Instead of reacting from old patterns of behavior, we can choose a response based on who we are now. Conflict becomes an opportunity practice, change, learn, and evolve.
Tried and true ways to begin your practice of centering include:
• Center now. You can train yourself to center by standing in a relaxed posture and directing the weight of your body toward your physical center. Breathe into this center point of your body. Breathe out from this same point. You will begin to feel more composed, confident, and in charge of yourself, both physically and emotionally.
• Start your day centered. Physical exercise, deep breathing, meditation, prayer, and quiet reflection are all ways to become more centered. You may have your own way to do it. By starting your day with a centering activity, you will return to the centered state more easily as the day’s events unfold.
• Create triggers. Triggers are objects, behaviors, people, or events that remind you to re-center periodically. Place posters or quotations on the wall that reinforce your vision. Keep a book of affirmations close at hand, or a picture of a loved one to help you remember what is really important. Listen to one of your favorite centering tapes as you drive to and from work. When you push open the door to your office, let it be a trigger to center yourself
Remember that our awareness is always in training. We can learn and practice new skills that can change the way we handle conflict and the way we live. Good luck, and good practice!
© 2005 Judy Ringer, Power & Presence Training
Selasa, 06 Juli 2010
Conducta de
Una de las principales reglas de los casinos es que el cliente siempre tiene la razón. Sin embargo, el casino tiene sus propias reglas de comportamiento y etiqueta que hay que tener en cuenta a la hora de jugar. Para ser mas profesional en los casinos y no llevarte malos momentos es importante que tengas estas reglas en cuenta.
Primero y principal, debes ser mayor de 21 años para entrar en el casino y jugar. Todos los casinos son estrictos con esa norma, así que si todavía eres menor de edad, debes esperar tu turno.
Segundo, los objetos electrónicos como teléfonos celulares, están bloqueados en el casino, así que recuerda dejarlos en casa a la hora del juego. Esto es debido a que pueden transferir información de un lado a otro, muy peligroso para los casinos. Tampoco la cámara digital o filmadora está autorizada, aunque esas son más flexibles.
A los fumadores: Asegurarse de que el casino al que vayan este permitido fumar. Aunque en la mayoría de los casinos permiten fumar, hay salas de no- fumadores o casinos de-no fumadores, una ley que empezó a popularizarse mas ahora. EN las salas de maquinas tragamonedas tampoco esta permitido fumar. Recuerda usar cenicero si fumas.
Es una costumbre darle propina al crupier luego de haber ganado una mano. Especialmente en los casinos de Estados Unidos. El monto es 1$ en general pero depende de lo que hayas ganado. En países como Inglaterra o Australia darles propina esta prohibido.
Recuerda aprender las reglas de los juegos antes de comenzar a jugar. No vaya a ser que los demás jugadores o el crupier te tengan que explicar en el momento del juego. Muestra sensación de respeto y seguridad en el casino, hay muchas guías y libros que te pueden ayudar a aumentar tu conocimiento. Observar juegos ajenos también ayuda.
Es importante no dar consejos o sugerencias a otros jugadores en el momento del juego. Aunque tengas buenas intenciones, no es aceptable para los demás jugadores que ayudes a uno y a otros no. Esto puede hacer a quejas y enojos en los jugadores, y eso es lo último que el casino quiere. Todos tienen la libertad de elegir sus jugadas y equivocarse o ganar correspondientemente. Esa es la gracia del casino.
Todas estas reglas son parte de los requisitos del casino, y esenciales para sentirte conectado a los juegos y al resto de las actividades del casino. Así, es muy probable que no te sientas perdido vagando por la sala sin saber a donde ir. Recuerda que nadie nació sabiendo y que la experiencia se gana con el tiempo.
Primero y principal, debes ser mayor de 21 años para entrar en el casino y jugar. Todos los casinos son estrictos con esa norma, así que si todavía eres menor de edad, debes esperar tu turno.
Segundo, los objetos electrónicos como teléfonos celulares, están bloqueados en el casino, así que recuerda dejarlos en casa a la hora del juego. Esto es debido a que pueden transferir información de un lado a otro, muy peligroso para los casinos. Tampoco la cámara digital o filmadora está autorizada, aunque esas son más flexibles.
A los fumadores: Asegurarse de que el casino al que vayan este permitido fumar. Aunque en la mayoría de los casinos permiten fumar, hay salas de no- fumadores o casinos de-no fumadores, una ley que empezó a popularizarse mas ahora. EN las salas de maquinas tragamonedas tampoco esta permitido fumar. Recuerda usar cenicero si fumas.
Es una costumbre darle propina al crupier luego de haber ganado una mano. Especialmente en los casinos de Estados Unidos. El monto es 1$ en general pero depende de lo que hayas ganado. En países como Inglaterra o Australia darles propina esta prohibido.
Recuerda aprender las reglas de los juegos antes de comenzar a jugar. No vaya a ser que los demás jugadores o el crupier te tengan que explicar en el momento del juego. Muestra sensación de respeto y seguridad en el casino, hay muchas guías y libros que te pueden ayudar a aumentar tu conocimiento. Observar juegos ajenos también ayuda.
Es importante no dar consejos o sugerencias a otros jugadores en el momento del juego. Aunque tengas buenas intenciones, no es aceptable para los demás jugadores que ayudes a uno y a otros no. Esto puede hacer a quejas y enojos en los jugadores, y eso es lo último que el casino quiere. Todos tienen la libertad de elegir sus jugadas y equivocarse o ganar correspondientemente. Esa es la gracia del casino.
Todas estas reglas son parte de los requisitos del casino, y esenciales para sentirte conectado a los juegos y al resto de las actividades del casino. Así, es muy probable que no te sientas perdido vagando por la sala sin saber a donde ir. Recuerda que nadie nació sabiendo y que la experiencia se gana con el tiempo.
Senin, 05 Juli 2010
Concept Combination For Creative Problem Solving
There are many creative problem solving techniques used by inventors to come up with new solutions to old problems. For sheer innovation, though, it's hard to beat the technique of concept-combination. Just start combining ideas and things, and voila, you're having fun - and maybe creating something new.
Innovation or Inovation?
Combining the concept of search engine misspellings with article writing gave me "inovation." What good is that? Well, now that I've used the misspelled word twice, the thousand people every month that type "inovation" into search engines can find this article.
"Search engine" combined with "people," could lead to the first search engine devoted entirely to information on individuals. "People" plus "advertising" might lead to the first large-scale paid-tatoo-placement campaign. Want a monthly stipend for having a Coke logo on your forehead?
Much of the innovation you see in the business world is nothing more than combining existing ideas. For a ton of new business ideas, just combine the concept of "home delivery" with almost anything. Parties, tax preparers, rental swimming pools? Would people pay to have these things delivered?
Using Creative Problem Solving Techniques
In the process of innovation, you need to be careful not to stifle creativity. This means allowing ideas to come without judging them at first. It also means using techniques only as tools, not as a rules. If your mind goes off on a creative tangent - let it.
Randomly combining things is a great mental exercise when you're driving or daydreaming. A boat and a bicycle becomes a waterski-bike that glides across the lake using pedal-power. Combining stock-trading and McDonalds has you imagining the selling of stocks and bonds at drive through windows.
For more specific problems, you just look for things to combine with what you already have. If your taxi business is struggling, combining "taxi" and "pets" might lead to a successful arrangement with a kennel, to pick up and deliver their client's cats and dogs. "Famous people," might give you the idea to run some sort of tour of the town, like they do in Hollywood.
For maximum creativity in your innovation, look far and wide for concepts to combine. "Meditation" and "amusement parks" seem too unrelated to yield interesting combinations, but I'll bet people at a carnival would pay to be put into a meditative trance using the latest brainwave entrainment technologies.
Innovation or Inovation?
Combining the concept of search engine misspellings with article writing gave me "inovation." What good is that? Well, now that I've used the misspelled word twice, the thousand people every month that type "inovation" into search engines can find this article.
"Search engine" combined with "people," could lead to the first search engine devoted entirely to information on individuals. "People" plus "advertising" might lead to the first large-scale paid-tatoo-placement campaign. Want a monthly stipend for having a Coke logo on your forehead?
Much of the innovation you see in the business world is nothing more than combining existing ideas. For a ton of new business ideas, just combine the concept of "home delivery" with almost anything. Parties, tax preparers, rental swimming pools? Would people pay to have these things delivered?
Using Creative Problem Solving Techniques
In the process of innovation, you need to be careful not to stifle creativity. This means allowing ideas to come without judging them at first. It also means using techniques only as tools, not as a rules. If your mind goes off on a creative tangent - let it.
Randomly combining things is a great mental exercise when you're driving or daydreaming. A boat and a bicycle becomes a waterski-bike that glides across the lake using pedal-power. Combining stock-trading and McDonalds has you imagining the selling of stocks and bonds at drive through windows.
For more specific problems, you just look for things to combine with what you already have. If your taxi business is struggling, combining "taxi" and "pets" might lead to a successful arrangement with a kennel, to pick up and deliver their client's cats and dogs. "Famous people," might give you the idea to run some sort of tour of the town, like they do in Hollywood.
For maximum creativity in your innovation, look far and wide for concepts to combine. "Meditation" and "amusement parks" seem too unrelated to yield interesting combinations, but I'll bet people at a carnival would pay to be put into a meditative trance using the latest brainwave entrainment technologies.
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