Copyright 2006 Marshall House
How well do you listen? Most people listen selectively. There is really nothing wrong with that. You can not listen to everything. In each situation, you need to determine how, what, how much, and where to listen. You can listen and learn anyplace. Life takes place in little vignettes.
At the Cleaners
My dry cleaners is remodeling, producing strain on limited parking. The other day, several of us were frustrated when we finally arrived at the counter.
One woman said, "Are you going to have more parking when all this construction is complete?" The wise counter person deferred to the owner standing nearby. The owner responded to the words of the question rather than taking into consideration the frustration in her voice and energy field.
His well-rehearsed dissertation gave us plenty of facts: one parking space is lost to the construction, persons pose as customers to try to fool the parking attendant, a plan of parking validation, etc. But the Right-Now-in-the-Moment situation with real-live human beings with emotions and needs was essentially ignored.
Had he listened to the information beneath the surface of the words of his customer's question, he would have presented us with fewer facts and perhaps said something like, "We have several plans for improving the parking -- it's quite frustrating right now, isn't it?" A compassionate statement such as this would have diffused the frustration, let her know that he heard the words of the question and more, and invited her to take the conversation in any direction she wanted, if at all.
On the Airplane
On a flight to Vancouver, I appreciated viewing one flight attendant engaging with the passengers. Here is one incident. The attendant spilled hot water near a passenger. He quickly grabbed napkins to mop up the mess, none of which ever touched the passenger. When nearly done, the flight attendant looked at her with a friendly smile and said, "gosh, that was pretty scary, wasn't it?" He didn't gush with apologies or over-react to the situation or blame the bumpy flight. Messes happen.
This flight attendant seemed more interested in his passenger than in how he might be perceived -- what a concept! He is trained to put the comfort and safety of the passengers ahead of his own. And he demonstrated this well.
Anyplace in Life
I often observe how people listen -- or do not listen -- to each other. Listening is an underrated and underdeveloped skill, yet the most important skill in healthy interactions. In a society that emphasizes outward actions, people sometimes forget the value of the inner process.
The words you say are not nearly as important as the consciousness from which you speak. Compassion is a consciousness which is received more deeply than the accompanying words. Phrases are easier to teach than compassion; however, it is the compassion that is most important to learn to embody. When you do, the words follow naturally and are appropriate.
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Questions. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label Questions. Tampilkan semua postingan
Kamis, 12 Januari 2012
Senin, 02 Agustus 2010
Creating Your Own Spring Break Without Traveling Anywhere
Remember Spring Break as a kid? Maybe you traveled somewhere fun, or maybe you visited family, or maybe you stayed home and played.
It didn’t matter.
After a winter that seemed to never stop, and school everyday, you were ready for that break . . . ready for something to revive and refresh you . . . something to change your perspective and help you get through to the end of the school year.
Now you are an adult, and your time horizon is a bit longer. You aren’t just trying to get to the end of the school year, but you may still feel those some late winter blahs. Even as adults we need a break at the start of spring.
The rest of this article is going to offer you five pairs of questions that can use to create a spring break for yourself without ever leaving your home or office. Even if you’ve taken a spring break trip or vacation recently, read on.
The Questions
What makes work most fun? / How can I do more of that today and everyday?
What would WOW my Customers today? / How do I know?
What risk have I taken lately? / What did I learn from that experience?
What was my childhood dream? / What does it tell me about myself now?
What is one thing I could do to refresh my perspective? / When will I do it?
How to Use Them
Reading the questions is a nice start, but that alone won’t create your mental break (or breakthrough). The questions are useful, but it is your answers that will help you reframe, re-focus, refresh, rejuvenate, and recuperate – just like spring breaks used to do. In other words, the most important thing to do with these questions is to think about your answers to them.
Here are some steps that will help you use these questions to create new perspectives and ideas.
1. Read the questions again. Make a note (mentally or on paper) the pair or pairs that seem to jump out at you the most.
2. Spend 10-15 minutes today reflecting on the pair of questions you noted.
3. Jot down your thoughts and ideas on a piece of paper, in your planner, or your journal.
4. Read your answers tomorrow morning and reflect on the fresh perspective, energy and excitement you feel.
5. Repeat these steps for any or all of the other question pairs.
Do this for all five question pairs and you have created a five day mental vacation!
If this sounds like it will take some time, you are right. But when you consider the results you will gain, and that it is a lot cheaper than booking a flight to a spring break destination, you’ll realize the time is well worth it.
Remember that better questions help us produce better answers. And that better answers, when put into action can change our lives.
Invest these few minutes in thinking and you’ll reap the benefits of a fresh perspective and gain new outlook on the spring and early summer. Your answers will help you be more productive and enjoy your days more.
Many people go on vacation to relax and rejuvenate themselves. They spend hours in planning and preparation. Most people spend an hour or more to plan their weekend activities. Investing one hour over the next several days with these questions and the process I’ve outlined will give you a greater return than those other time investments and will make a difference in your life and results.
It didn’t matter.
After a winter that seemed to never stop, and school everyday, you were ready for that break . . . ready for something to revive and refresh you . . . something to change your perspective and help you get through to the end of the school year.
Now you are an adult, and your time horizon is a bit longer. You aren’t just trying to get to the end of the school year, but you may still feel those some late winter blahs. Even as adults we need a break at the start of spring.
The rest of this article is going to offer you five pairs of questions that can use to create a spring break for yourself without ever leaving your home or office. Even if you’ve taken a spring break trip or vacation recently, read on.
The Questions
What makes work most fun? / How can I do more of that today and everyday?
What would WOW my Customers today? / How do I know?
What risk have I taken lately? / What did I learn from that experience?
What was my childhood dream? / What does it tell me about myself now?
What is one thing I could do to refresh my perspective? / When will I do it?
How to Use Them
Reading the questions is a nice start, but that alone won’t create your mental break (or breakthrough). The questions are useful, but it is your answers that will help you reframe, re-focus, refresh, rejuvenate, and recuperate – just like spring breaks used to do. In other words, the most important thing to do with these questions is to think about your answers to them.
Here are some steps that will help you use these questions to create new perspectives and ideas.
1. Read the questions again. Make a note (mentally or on paper) the pair or pairs that seem to jump out at you the most.
2. Spend 10-15 minutes today reflecting on the pair of questions you noted.
3. Jot down your thoughts and ideas on a piece of paper, in your planner, or your journal.
4. Read your answers tomorrow morning and reflect on the fresh perspective, energy and excitement you feel.
5. Repeat these steps for any or all of the other question pairs.
Do this for all five question pairs and you have created a five day mental vacation!
If this sounds like it will take some time, you are right. But when you consider the results you will gain, and that it is a lot cheaper than booking a flight to a spring break destination, you’ll realize the time is well worth it.
Remember that better questions help us produce better answers. And that better answers, when put into action can change our lives.
Invest these few minutes in thinking and you’ll reap the benefits of a fresh perspective and gain new outlook on the spring and early summer. Your answers will help you be more productive and enjoy your days more.
Many people go on vacation to relax and rejuvenate themselves. They spend hours in planning and preparation. Most people spend an hour or more to plan their weekend activities. Investing one hour over the next several days with these questions and the process I’ve outlined will give you a greater return than those other time investments and will make a difference in your life and results.
Senin, 26 April 2010
Basic Operating Question (BOQ) for Empowerment
Copyright 2006 Marshall House
Years ago when I trained managers and trainers, I liked to be playful with the group. The company I was working with one day had a culture that was closest to acronym heaven than I had ever before or since experienced. So, I wrote on the flip chart in large letters: B O Q.
"Today we are going to learn about the BOQ," I said, pronouncing it Bock. My demeanor suggested they already knew or should know what the letters stood for, just the way that most acronyms are stated. Came a flurry of activity as they wrote the letters, trying to jog their collective memories of the words that B, O, and Q might possibly represent.
I did not leave them long in this state of mild confusion. They knew me well enough to know that I liked to play. They rose to the occasion and expressed their relief in laughter as I said, pointing letter by letter: Basic Operating Question.
One way of thinking of the Basic Operating Question is to consider it your default question. It is the question you think of first when you view a certain type of situation.
For example, when the phone rings, the BOQ that comes into your mind is usually something like, "Who's that? If you have a tense relationship with your boss who motions you to his or her office, your BOQ might be "What have I done wrong now?" You walk into a room with others present and your BOQ might "What's going on here?"
A BOQ can be positive, negative, or neutral. It can be empowering or disempowering. It can be easy to answer or not. It can be verbalized out loud or only thought about. The question itself as well as the quality and resonance of the question guides the quality and resonance of the answer.
The purpose of identifying your Basic Operating Questions is to discover if they are helpful and empowering. And, if not, to craft more helpful and empowering ones. A long-time habit of asking a particular Basic Operating Question will not necessarily be instantly changed just because of discovering one that you consider better, but that is a good starting place. After identifying one or more of these, it is important to practice your new Basic Operating Questions, as often as possible.
What is your BOQ in each of the situations you regularly face in your life? Once you have identified it, remember that the only way to incorporate a new skill is to practice, practice, practice.
Years ago when I trained managers and trainers, I liked to be playful with the group. The company I was working with one day had a culture that was closest to acronym heaven than I had ever before or since experienced. So, I wrote on the flip chart in large letters: B O Q.
"Today we are going to learn about the BOQ," I said, pronouncing it Bock. My demeanor suggested they already knew or should know what the letters stood for, just the way that most acronyms are stated. Came a flurry of activity as they wrote the letters, trying to jog their collective memories of the words that B, O, and Q might possibly represent.
I did not leave them long in this state of mild confusion. They knew me well enough to know that I liked to play. They rose to the occasion and expressed their relief in laughter as I said, pointing letter by letter: Basic Operating Question.
One way of thinking of the Basic Operating Question is to consider it your default question. It is the question you think of first when you view a certain type of situation.
For example, when the phone rings, the BOQ that comes into your mind is usually something like, "Who's that? If you have a tense relationship with your boss who motions you to his or her office, your BOQ might be "What have I done wrong now?" You walk into a room with others present and your BOQ might "What's going on here?"
A BOQ can be positive, negative, or neutral. It can be empowering or disempowering. It can be easy to answer or not. It can be verbalized out loud or only thought about. The question itself as well as the quality and resonance of the question guides the quality and resonance of the answer.
The purpose of identifying your Basic Operating Questions is to discover if they are helpful and empowering. And, if not, to craft more helpful and empowering ones. A long-time habit of asking a particular Basic Operating Question will not necessarily be instantly changed just because of discovering one that you consider better, but that is a good starting place. After identifying one or more of these, it is important to practice your new Basic Operating Questions, as often as possible.
What is your BOQ in each of the situations you regularly face in your life? Once you have identified it, remember that the only way to incorporate a new skill is to practice, practice, practice.
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