Surrendering To Freedom: Stepping Into Grace

Earlier this month as I sat at the desk by the upstairs hall window, looking down on the blossoming apple trees and the vineyard beyond, I suddenly heard a fluttering sound behind me. A house finch had flown into the open window at the other end of the hall. I watched her fly around the hall and into my office where she began banging against the window, struggling to find a way out.

I entered my office and watched as she flew against the window unaware that the just 10 inches away, it was open. Slowly and peacefully I approached her with my open hands prayerfully offering guidance and help. At first she refused, fluttering with even more determination and desperation up and down the invisible obstacle that held her captive. I remained calm and present, ready to enfold her gently yet firmly when the opportunity appeared.

But suddenly, she stopped her frantic flapping and flew onto my finger, sitting there as naturally and calmly as if it was a tree branch. There was a communion in that moment, an understanding that passed between that finch and myself. I was reluctant to let go of that connection, and yet I knew that was part of our connection, part of the trust she had placed in me.

Slowly I shifted my hands towards the open side of the window. Somehow the clarity and awareness that had been lost during her struggle had returned in her calmness. She knew the instant she was in front of the opening, and immediately flew out the window to freedom, gifting me with two bright, clear chirps of gratitude as she went.

When I returned to the desk I began thinking of how much I am like that little house finch: Resisting the hands that offer me help, desperately running from the guidance that is constantly being offered. The hands may be human, or divine, or they may be the wings of a house finch, but they are always here, always reaching out gently to guide me to freedom.

Admiring the beauty of the Sonoma County landscape, I imagined myself settling into the hands of the Divine, just as that bird settled so gracefully onto my hand. I felt the release of tension and worry as I allowed myself to rest in the hands of God.

Since that day I have been away of the times when I am struggling like that finch. It sometimes feels out of my control, as if I am watching someone else struggle, unable to reach them and let them know that the window is open just a few inches away. But it is me. I am struggling. I am resisting. And like that finch, I am slowly learning to let go of that resistance, and to allow myself to be shown the way to grace and freedom.

Stop Fear Now

I'm convinced that fear is one of the worst things in life. Think about all of the negative ways that fear affects your life. Think about all of the decisions you make or do not make because of fear in your life. Or think about the risks that you do not take or the relationships you do not pursue because of fear. You would do well to take a good look at the fears in your life and to attempt to tackle them head first until they are no longer fears.

In my own life, identifying specific fears was the first step for me to getting over my fears. I took a few hours and made a very long list of the things I was afraid of. I included the biggest fears I had all the way down to the smallest, most insignificant fears I had. I would encourage you to take time to do the same thing. It may seem like a strange task, but just think about the freedom you can live in if you learn to overcome your fears.

I was amazed as I wrote at how many things were holding me in fear and affecting my life. One of the fears that was affecting my life the most was my fear of flying on an airplane. I knew that I was afraid to fly and I knew many other people that had a fear of flying as well, but I had never calculated the cost of that fear in my life. Only as I sat down and got honest with myself did I realize that my fear of flying had hindered me from traveling many times. I had missed out on a class reunion, a trip to Europe with my son, and a whole host of other opportunities simply because of my fear.

The process of recognizing my fears became frustrating and maddening to me as I added up all the ways that fear had stolen life and opportunities away from me. Can you think of ways that fear has hindered or kept you from living well? If so, you need to make a serious effort to stop those fears that are affecting you. If your list of fears contains any that are easy to overcome I suggest that you start today to do what it takes to overcome those fears.

Perhaps you are afraid of spending too much time alone. While this is a normal fear that many people deal with, it can steal away the comfort and relaxation that time alone can often give you. I'd suggest training yourself to be alone for small amounts of time until you can easily handle a few hours or even a day without the company of others. Try reading a book, working on your garden or doing another activity you enjoy. What freedom you will have if you can learn to be alone.

My advice to you is simple: stop fear now. Do whatever you can to stop letting fear rule your life. You will be much happier and much more free the less fear controls you.

Managing Your Fears As An Alternative To Abuse And Addiction

Everybody deals with stress and anxiety, however some people sometimes take it out on others through abuse or take their fears out on themselves through addiction. Both of these alternatives are wrong. There is a better way to deal with your stress and anxieties. Here is a list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their stress, anxieties, and fears.

First and foremost, seek help and treatment from a professional. Getting help from a counselor or other professional is very important and can provide you much help and insights in dealing with your current problem. Getting help from a professional should be the first thing you do in getting better. Remember to follow through on the suggestions that these counselors offer to you and be patient with the process of getting better.

Try to learn what is the real source of your fears and anxieties. Knowing what the source of your problem is can go a long way in finding the solution. Think about it and try to figure out what is the source of your fears and stress. If you do not know, then ask a professional or a counselor. As a Layman, I learned that finding the source of your fears will put you that much closer in getting better.

Sometimes, we get stressed when everything happens all at once. Instead of taking it out on someone else a person should take a deep breathe and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get your mind off of the problem. A person could take a walk, listen to some music, read the newspaper or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things. This mental timeout can help you refocus on your current situation.

A good way to manage your worry is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or anxious, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense.

When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, the first thing you can do is to break the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

As a Layman and not as a professional, I realize it is not easy to deal with all of our fears and other problems, however there are all kinds of help available. Remember to take advantage of the help that is around you. The key is to be patient and not to give up. In time, you will be able to find those resources that will help you with your problems.

How to Win More From the Casinos

It may be for the excitement, it may be for a vacation but it is the dream of going home a big winner that keeps us going back to the casinos, but are there ways other then cheating that can help you take home more cash? The answer is yes.

Believe it or not gambling at on online casino is a great way to gain experience so that you can win some big money in the casinos.

May online casinos besides having games as low as 50 cents, also have practice rooms that are free. You are given some play money to make your bets, but no real money is exchanged.
These practice rooms are available for most of the different casino games like poker, blackjack, roulette and baccarat.

This is a great way to gain experience. Not only do you get to play, you also get the experience of playing against other people instead of a computer. This allows you to learn how to watch their betting habits to look for patterns. This may not be so important in a game like roulette or craps but in poker this is almost as important as the cards you are dealt.

These patters are called tells. A tell is when someone gives away their hand by an involuntary action.

Some common tells are the way players arrange their cards, or playing with their chips when they have a good hand, or rubbing their face when they are bluffing

In a practice poker room you also get the experience of learning how to watch your money, without losing your shirt when you make a mistake, which will happen at first.

On of the biggest problems with learning to gamble in a casino is that the dealer and the other players are not forgiving. By this I mean let’s say you are playing roulette, a first time player may not know that until all winnings are placed on the table you may not take your winnings. Getting a warning from the dealer the first time you play can be embarrassing and unnerving to a new player.

So by playing in an online casino at first you will learn the rules, procedures and the etiquette for playing in a land based casino.

If poker is your game it is a little different, most games depend on luck and all you really need to know if the basics, but poker is totally different because you are playing against other layers that know all this information already. when you feel confident enough then go to the casino and find the game you want to play and spend some time watching the other players. You want to find a table where all the players are less skilled then you. This will give you the edge, but make sure you watch carefully. Many times players will do things to make themselves look worse then they really are to give the other players a false confidence.


Then as you see yourself getting better and better you can move up to higher stakes tables and against better players.

Once you get confident and see your skills increase so will your bank account.

The Battle Of Self-Discipline

Many people struggle to break bad habits from their past and to create new, healthy habits for their future. It is much easier to continue living in the ways that are normal for us than to battle our way to a better life. If, for example, we are used to watching endless hours of television each night it will certainly be hard for us to win the battle of breaking that habit. It will be even harder to replace television with constructive and healthy ways of spending time such as exercising or reading.

The battle to discipline ourselves is certainly one of the toughest battles that we face. It is much easier just let our lives happen than it is to be intentional in our choices and to proactively form habits rather than sit back while our habits are formed for us.

The road to self-discipline must begin with a deep sense of conviction. We must be convinced not only that victory in the battle is possible, but also that winning the battle of disciplining our lives is important. We will never remain long at a task we think is unimportant. It will always be the things that we place the highest value on that will receive our time and efforts, so each person must come to the place where the condition of their undisciplined life is of enough importance to work on.

Determining that the battle for self-discipline is one worth fighting is the first of many steps to achieving a different kind of life. You must take time to evaluate not only your current life but also the kind of life you want to work toward. This evaluating is basically a process of defining some goals for yourself. What battles do you want to focus on now? Is it important to you to see the old habit of inactivity broken, or will you spend your energies trying to stop smoking first? Do not move forward in trying to battle against your problems until you have clearly defined what they are and how you wish to be.

Once you have your 'battle goals' as we'll call them, the important thing is to simply begin. Begin tackling whatever goal you chose, just be sure that you begin. The hardest stage in any battle is the beginning, so you simply have to choose a day and start. If your eventual goal is to run a marathon you can begin by getting outside and jogging for five minutes. At the beginning stages of battle remember that anything is better than nothing. Days of more severe battle and discipline will undoubtedly come, so for now just get moving.

You will quickly realize that the battle to self-discipline is hard and long. You will also realize, however, that the battle is well worth the fight.

How far you can go?

Each and every one of us has his or her cherished dream. We think about it all the time and do everything possible to realize it. Dream can be a purpose of one’s living and inspire to do a lot of great deeds. Some dream of a quiet life in the country, having a bunch of children and living peacefully till the rest of their days. Someone’s dreams are quite ambitious and eventually they become famous or contribute greatly to the society. But the most certain fact is that everybody wants to travel at least somewhere during their lives. Why do we want to leave our motherland where everything is familiar to see some other wicked places with a completely different culture? Why do our hearts make us go for an adventure?

Every day seems exactly the same to us. Same worries, same duties, same things underhand. It can drive even the most patient and conservative person insane. Wanting more is a quite natural thing for humans. When we get sick and tired of what surrounds us, we long for new impressions and things, to make our lives more interesting. We forget about our duties, belongings, due times, college term papers and take off for the unknown. It can be also characterized as an escape from the society, which stresses you out. Traveling around the globe is an expensive thing, which not everybody can afford. But it doesn’t have to be India or Caribbean where you spend your time resting and getting your thoughts together. You can go to neighboring country and see their culture.

Your being in a completely different surrounding makes you feel better. You forget about all the problems you had, all the arguments you went through, all things that wait for you at home and dive into a completely new world of wonders. You go on excursions that widen your outlook, hang out in different clubs and cafés to communicate with new people or just walk along old streets to get your thoughts together. Traveling is the most exciting thing to do in your free time. This way you get some rest and get to know more not only just for yourself, but for your job or personal life. You can also make friends and use these contacts in your future. But don’t get crazy and decide to spend your vacation in the jungle with some cannibalistic tribe, eating roots and waiting to be eaten. If you decide to go on a trip plan it carefully and decide what you expect from it: civilized world full of aristocratism and modern conveniences or wild jungle with exciting adventures. Everything depends on how far you can go. This trip can turn your life upside down and can be very helpful to you in some aspects of your life. You can even use your experience in that college term paper you stopped writing. A get away is sometimes necessary, but don’t run away too often; you might lose your contacts close to where you’re settled. But this is another question. Should one get settled at all?

Living With Obsessive Compulsive Disorder And Your Fearful Thoughts

Living with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and having to deal with your fearful thoughts can be extremely difficult. It can be tough for people with OCD to have to experience obsessive thoughts that are intrusive, scary, and difficult to manage. As a result, here is a short list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their OCD and their obsessive thoughts

The first thing a person must do is not to dwell or focus on the fear provoking thought when it comes. The more a person tries to reason out the thought or focus on the fear behind the thought, the stronger the thought becomes. The next time you encounter an obsessive thought, get into the practice of not dwelling on it.

From my interviews with various psychologists, I was told that a person should visualize a red stop sign in their mind when they encounter a fear provoking thought. When the negative thought comes, a person should think of a red stop sign which serves as a reminder to stop focusing on that thought and to think of something else. A person can then try to think of something positive to replace the negative thought.

A person should keep a small notebook of positive statements that makes them feel good. Whenever they come across a positive and uplifting verse that makes them feel good, write it down in a small notebook. A person can then carry this notebook around in their pocket and whenever they feel anxious, they can read their notebook.

Sometimes, a person may encounter a lot of scarey thoughts coming at them all at once. Instead of getting upset, remember that these thoughts are exaggerated and are not based on reality. From my interviews with various professionals, I’ve learned that usually it is the fear behind the thoughts that gets us worked up. Ignore the fear behind these obsessive thoughts, regardless how the strong the fear may be. If you ignore the fear behind these thoughts, then the thoughts become easier to manage.

Another thing to remember is that no one can predict the future with 100 Percent certainty. Even if your fearful thoughts tell you otherwise, the fact is that there are circumstances and factors in every situation that can not be anticipated. We may be ninety-nine percent in predicting the future but all it takes is for that one percent to make the biggest difference.

Although I am a Layman and not a professional, I have interviewed many counselors and I learned that there are many ways to deal with these kinds of thoughts. It is also important to seek professional help if you have OCD. There are ways to deal with your obsessive thoughts and with the proper treatment, people with OCD can live a productive life.