Deflate Objections In 15 Seconds

Does this symphony sound familiar?

You are too!

Am not!!

You are TOO!

AM NOT!

YOU ARE ALSO!!

AM NOT!!

Familiar? It's how kids argue. I'm sure you've tried this mode of arguing decades back.

Children, when pointed out that they are "xxx", tend to retaliate that their accuser is also "xxx" The accuser then balks, because people hate having their arguments thrown back at them. It's human nature and this demonstrates the Reflexivity Principle of Argumentation.

By applying a belief statement back to the person asserting it, we test the applicability of that belief within an equitable context. By equitable context, I mean that what's good for the Gander should also be good for the Goose. This determines the universality of the statement. If, by throwing an argument back to its issuer, we observe a resistance, then this could indicate a presence double standards. This surely makes the argument IRRATIONAL, and NON-UNIVERSAL.

Let's see this in play.

She says, " You're always with your officemates. Obviously you don't like me anymore"

To counter this with Reflexivity , you apply her argument back to her by saying, "My dear, you spend at least 3 hours a day with your friends after work. Does this imply that you love me less now as well?"

She will then see the irrationality of her argument.

Let's try another.

Mark says, "The Bush Administration wastes so much time bickering, debating and arguing. Obviously this country is going nowhere. Such a waste of time!"

So you come to the good ole US of A's defense by saying, "I see.... so shall I assume that your business will never prosper either? Your Board spends a lot of time deliberating and debating. I observed that you, as Chairman, even seem to enjoy this and you goad them on! Now despite all that bickering, your company grows 10% per annum. Mark, I'm sure you're already aware of the value of debate. Healthy deliberation illuminates multiple avenues of action. That's what your Board does. That's what the Bush administration accomplishes."

Okay, let's put this to practice. Someone brave, come to the front; volunteer 10 arguments.

Then let's have someone else come up with ten counter arguments using this principle.

Have fun!

5 Seconds To Smashing More Arguments With NLP

Last time the used car salesman pitched a lemon at you, he called the high price tag an "investment." Didn't sound so bad did it? He gift wrapped his words.

When you were fired, they called it a strategic downsizing. Now that didn't make you any better off... but it sure sounded nicer than being "fired"

Euphemisms are efficient linguistic tactics to counter objections. The key is to redefine certain words in an antagonist's statement such that his objection no longer se...

Last time the used car salesman pitched a lemon at you, he called the high price tag an "investment." Didn't sound so bad did it? He gift wrapped his words.

When you were fired, they called it a strategic downsizing. Now that didn't make you any better off... but it sure sounded nicer than being "fired"

Euphemisms are efficient linguistic tactics to counter objections. The key is to redefine certain words in an antagonist's statement such that his objection no longer seems so overwhelming.

Through redefinition we create new "frame" meanings about a behaviour by re-labeling a key word that's part of the belief statement. The relabeling frames the entire belief statement with a new meaning.

Redefinition asserts that "X doesn't mean Y, it means Z" Since X=Z and not Y, we now have a totally new belief statement. hopefully a more empowering one.

Here are some questions you can test yourself with to increase your flexibility at reframing: What meanings have other people given to this objection/ belief?

What other meanings could I attribute this behavior? What value could this belief have in other nations or cultures?

The secret to reframing: Simply replace one of the key words in the argument such that it subtly changes the sentence's meaning.

1. "It doesn't mean x, it means y"
2. "It doesn't cause x," it causes y"
3. "If you really want to see a case of x, consider."

Let's do some reframes, after all, practice makes perfect.

Objection: You were too tough on your employees; it's unkind! How do you expect to motivate them?

Answer: I agree that they might be hurt at first. But tough words also have its place. In this instance, I'm actually not criticizing without just cause. I'm simply expressing my feelings so they'll know where I stand. Would you rather I lied? You believe in assertive conversation, don't you?

Objection: You're tardy for the umpteenth time. You don't care about me.

Answer: My being late doesn't imply I don't care. It means I had a lot of things to do at work today; it also means I want to get everything out of my mind so when I get home I can fully relish being with you and show you how much I truly care!